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The great expectation Somebody once told me that I am very difficult to please. He told me that even if he gave me the moon, I would eventually ask for the stars. I never thought of myself this way. For the longest time, I perceived myself as a simple girl who achieves happiness in simple things. That is why I was surprised and hurt when he, of all people, saw me differently. Back then, I would get angry and defensive every time he accused me of not appreciating his efforts. After a while, though, it made me reflect on this thought. AM I REALLY DIFFICULT? I had to write something. There I encountered the best question for myself, WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY? At first, I thought that this was an easy topic to discuss with myself.. Then it got me thinking, what is it that makes me happy? My head was blank for the next 30 minutes. Superficial things kept popping in my head like, Thoughts of Tyler makes me happy. Music makes me happy. Chocolate and cakes make me happy. Many things make me happy. These answers, though, did not drive me to choose that topic. I decided to pick the “safer” one, that of hygiene. I guess I got scared of teaching something that I, myself, don’t know the answers to. Being 19 years old, I am still clueless as to what I really want ( not really). This realization hit a soft spot, and it hit me hard. Maybe he was right after all. Maybe I am difficult to please. Maybe I don’t get contented with the things I already have. Maybe I don’t really know what I want. Well, I guess I had to find it out the hard way. My journey to self-awakening ended when I realized that I have completely healed from my heartbreak. It was a bittersweet feat and I’m glad I traversed that path to enlightenment. What did I learn from all the experiences? For one, I realized that I am an incurable romantic. In this age of technology and sexual liberation, I still find myself smitten by the traditional courting method. I love being pampered, I love flowers, I love chocolates, and I love being serenaded. I still think that it is inappropriate for girls to make the first move. Second, I love all (or most) of the corny things a guy usually does to make a girl fall for him. I love chivalry, I love sweet-nothings, I love baby talks and other things that most people find irritating. what can I say? I'm abnormal. As I STILL REMEMBER FROM one of my favorite TV shows, Sex and the City, I was struck by the uncanny parallelism of my life to the characters in the series. The episode was about having high expectations about love and just getting disappointed in the end. Ouch, that is like the story of my life: never settling for less, getting the best but always wanting more. and just like sarah Jessica's character, i always end up getting disappointed and confused. but what can i do? that's just the way im. If I were less conservative, less romantic and more realistic, I wouldn't have an almost dramatic-but-not-too-poignant love life. i I may be complicated, I may drive for perfection, but what the heck, maybe I'm just saving the best for last. 
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No matter what we have we want more,that's human nature.I have all the basic human needs and then some,but i'm not satisfied.I want to be more secure financialy,and know my children will be too.I strive daily to be better at my job so i can get that big promotion,and raise .Not out of greed but out of,consideration.I was not rich growing up and offten we didn't have food to eat.Growing up that way made me want more for myself and any offspring i have.Look at how you grew up and i'm sure you will find a connection to why you want what you do. About being oldschool when it comes to dateing,more power to you.I wish all women felt the same.Offten times i notice women with men who posses not the slightest manners.This may be the 21st century but thier is allways a place for chivalry,and manners. Sadly most women no longer demand this and that makes men try less hard.Lets face it we live in a world,that expects us to meet,have sex,and marry within weeks.We go out on a first date and it's no longer about first base,we want to go all the way.Now any person with common sense knows this is not the way to meet a life partner,but that's just how it is.Stick with your old ways,and don't let men push you to conform with the band wagon. Any real man worth haveing will wait.And a true gentelmen will,treat you like the lady you obviously are.Until then don't settle for les.ingat huh drunkin
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6/22/2005 4:48 pm |
May, no matter how difficult, hard to please or cranky you are, it doesn't matter. If the guy truly loves you, he'll put up with all of your flaws and transgressions. Of course, it takes two to tango. But have you realized that he's just making excuses for an easy way out? Because if not, he wouldn't bug you with emotional injury or sarcasm. Instead, he would try his very best to save the relationship. C'mon, May...don't be hard on yourself. Don't put all the blame in you. Wake up from a mere slumber...he's not worth the pain. A real man who'll truly love you is waiting somewhere, somehow. Good luck!
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6/22/2005 10:46 pm |
By not settling, you eventually get what you are striving for as long as you are realistic. The bottom line is, be true to yourself and DON'T settle for less than you want. I hope you find it. It will be worth the wait
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Buddy Salamat po sa greetings ha..... oo understood na mouth yon.. whahahhahaa....
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I salut you sir Sprocket.. that's my kind of guy...
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Hi Sallie, Yes.. eventually.. I've come to a realization about that. And sure.. I shall forgive and forget... and Move on at the same time.. I neeeeeddd help tho...
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Racefan- Let's keep our finfers crossed...
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6/25/2005 4:22 am |
Hi Angel You are unique - but you are certainly not abnormal!! Very few of us knew what we waznted when we were your age . . . I certainly didn't. Take good care of your heart, and everything will fall into place for you in due course. Remember that in life, having a good journey is as important as getting to the destination (in fact, it is more important!). Be true to yourself, and enjoy the journey . . .
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