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The Ten Commandments of Marriage 4/30/2006
The Ten Commandments of Marriage
1.Marriage are made in heaven, so are thunder and lighting.
<br>
2.If u want your wife to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
3.Marriage is grand ‒ and divorce is at least 100 grand.
<br>
4.Married is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage,
the ...
1 Comments, 1376 Views,
232 Votes
,7.78 Score
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Blind Date Descriptions 8/9/2005
Most all bachelors have been the victims of a blind date.
Numerous well meaning friends and relatives are always
willing to "fix up" unsuspecting bachelors
with girls whom they describe as "perfect for you."
However, from the description given, it is difficult to
imagine what these girls may be like. After considerable
research, as a public service, here is an attempted to translate
some ...
0 Comments, 607 Views,
56 Votes
,4.62 Score
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FORWARDED JOKE: THE DENTIST 1/28/2005
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband
is at work. Her nine-year-old year old comes home unexpectedly,
sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's
husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet,
not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The
little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says,
"Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a ...
1 Comments, 513 Views,
54 Votes
,6.61 Score
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CIA AND THE WOMAN 4/26/2005
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were
three finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test,
the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and
handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow
your instructions, no matter what the circumstances are.
<br>
Inside this room, you will ...
12 Comments, 608 Views,
43 Votes
,5.35 Score
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THE BARBER 1/23/2005
There is this good old barber in some city in the United States.
One day a postman goes to him for a haircut. After the cut,
he goes to
pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry.
I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The postman is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes
to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a stamps ...
1 Comments, 293 Views,
43 Votes
,6.49 Score
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A NAMED SEX 2/13/2007
Everybody who has a calls him "Rover" or
"Boy." I call mine "Sex." He's
a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
<br>
When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the
clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd
like one, too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog."
He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said,
"You don't understand. ...
0 Comments, 102 Views,
41 Votes
,7.71 Score
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Your favorite fruit and what it reveals about u 9/18/2006
Choose your favorite fruit
<br>
Apple
Banana
Black Grapes
Cherry
Coconut
Custard Apple
Mango
Orange
Papaya
Peach
Pear
Pineapple
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
see what it reveals about u.....
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
...
1 Comments, 99 Views,
41 Votes
,4.65 Score
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What A Married Man Should Be 1/27/2007
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
<br>
He forces himself to open his eyes ... and the first thing
he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the
side table.
<br>
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him ... all
clean and pressed.
<br>
Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect
order ... spotless ... clean.
...
0 Comments, 100 Views,
31 Votes
,7.46 Score
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How To Make Love With A PC 6/20/2006
Cyber...cyber...cyber!
<br>
On a CDROM, place your lady on your DESKTOP
Shove your HARD DRIVE into her SOFTWARE
Input...output...input...output...consistent in
speed
Now...DOWNLOADING
You now have a FLOPPY DICK!!!
0 Comments, 93 Views,
31 Votes
,3.91 Score
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WRONG FUNERAL 2/2/2005
Wrong Funeral
- Author Unknown
<br>
Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of
the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend
- my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer.
The hurt was so intense, I found it hard to breathe at times.
Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my
school plays, held a box of tissues while listening to ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
30 Votes
,6.87 Score
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BODY TRADE BACK 12/27/2004
A man was sick and tired of going to work everyday while his
wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through
so he prayed: "Dear Lord, I go to work everday and put
in eight hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want
her to know what I go through so please allow her body to switch
with mine for a day. Amen." God, in his infinite wisdom,
granted the man's wish.
<br> ...
4 Comments, 272 Views,
30 Votes
,4.91 Score
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HEALTH DIAGNOSIS 1/22/2005
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans.
<br>
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
<br>
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
<br>
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than ...
1 Comments, 271 Views,
26 Votes
,1.95 Score
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Galing Talaga Ng Pinoy 1/24/2007
1) A couple placed an ad, "Have 4 sons, need advice
on how to have a ." Yank: Keep trying! Briton:
Change doctor! Aussie: Follow a special diet. Indian:
Practice Yoga! Pinoy: LET ME TRY! 2) Population policies
of countries: China: Stop at 1 . Singapore: Stop at
2 Philippines: STOP AT 4 A.M.! 3) Ano kadalasan
ang sinasabi kapag nautot? American: Excuse me. British:
Pardon me. Pinoy: NOT ...
0 Comments, 121 Views,
23 Votes
,6.63 Score
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$5,000.00 10/19/2006
A man and his ever-nagging wife went
on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife
passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You
can have her shipped home for $5, 000, or you can bury her
here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought
about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5, ...
2 Comments, 120 Views,
20 Votes
,4.78 Score
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DON'T TALK TO MY PARROT 5/4/2005
A woman's dishwasher quit working one day so she called
a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she
told the repairman, "I'll
leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the
bill on the
counter, and I'll mail you a check."
<br>
"Oh, and by the way, don't worry about my bulldog.
He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under
ANY ...
1 Comments, 230 Views,
20 Votes
,4.78 Score
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Breakfast in Paris 9/28/2006
An American is having breakfast,
in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter
and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down
next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless,
starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: ...
5 Comments, 118 Views,
19 Votes
,4.71 Score
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BMW Engineer Dies! ( goes to heaven) 11/13/2006
An engineer, of the BMW Motorrad Corporation died and went
to heaven.
At the gates St. Peter told him, "Since you've
been such a good man and
your motorbikes have changed the world,
your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven".
The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said,
"I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took
him to ...
3 Comments, 212 Views,
18 Votes
,6.13 Score
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So You Want to Marry a Filipina 9/17/2006
Here's a little test for you prospective husbands.
There are two aims here: first, to determine how much you
actually know about your prospective wife's homeland
and culture, and two, to check your ability to deal with
certain nuances once the marriage is official. Be honest,
because you're the only person who knows your score,
and there aren't any cash prizes!
1. Have ...
3 Comments, 127 Views,
18 Votes
,4.63 Score
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The Bravest Man 10/28/2006
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday.
During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces
to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has
a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across
that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, ...
1 Comments, 200 Views,
17 Votes
,4.26 Score
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HOW WOMEN SEE MEN 1/17/2005
Men are like ...
Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you.
Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
Vacations ..... They never seem to be long enough.
Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.
Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite
sure why
Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, & they usually
head right for your hips.
Commercials ...
1 Comments, 188 Views,
16 Votes
,1.22 Score
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untiring love 7/14/2005
Untiring Love
<br>
This is a true story that happened in Japan.
<br>
In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tore open
the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space
between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls,
he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail
from outside was hammered into one of its feet. He saw this,
felt ...
0 Comments, 184 Views,
15 Votes
,4.66 Score
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ALCOHOL WARNING LABEL 1/15/2005
Due to increasing product liability litigation, alcohol
manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's
suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all alcohol containers/bottles:
<br>
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.
<br>
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing ...
2 Comments, 188 Views,
15 Votes
,2.06 Score
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candy and nuts 7/21/2007
my friend and i were walking at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.. as we were looking at the dispaly case, the boy behind the counter asked, if we needed help.. I replied,
"no i'm just looking at ur nuts", my friend
started to laughed hyterically, and the boy grinned and i was turned beet red and walk away... never forget the look of the boy's face while ...
3 Comments, 366 Views,
14 Votes
,1.86 Score
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Wedding night 7/17/2005
The much anticipated wedding night had finally arrived.
When they got to the bed room they started to undress. The
groom took off his socks and the bride let out a little yell
and said honey what happened to your toes?
He looked at her and said, baby when I was a little boy I had
toemonia.
She said don't you mean pneumonia?
He said no, toemonia. It is a rare desease that affects the ...
0 Comments, 316 Views,
14 Votes
,3.30 Score
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HOROSCOPE 12/18/2004
AQUARIUS You have an inventive mind and are a progressive
thinker. You also lie a lot and are inclined to be careless
and impractical, making the same mistakes over and over.
Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
<br>
PISCES You have a vivid imagination and often think you
are being followed by the CIA. You have some influence over
your friends and people resent you for ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
14 Votes
,3.14 Score
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The Brown Suit 1/25/2007
A woman came to the funeral parlor to see her husband corpse."You
did a good job", she said to the undertaker."he
looks just the way he always looked, except for one thing.My
husband always wore a brown suit, but you have him dressed
in a blue suit."
"That is no problem, " said the undertaker, "We
can easily change it".
When she returned later, her husband was wearing a brown
suit."Now ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
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Isn't this Funny??? 3/22/2006
If a man talks dirty to a woman, its called sexual harassment.
But if a woman talks dirty to a man it costs 1 euro 99 cents!!!(per
min)!!!!
(while surfing in my break the Internet there was a Filipino
site i don't like to mention the name in here but it is
a true Joke)...
1 Comments, 273 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score
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A girl and a boy 5/5/2005
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said...no.
<br>
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and
he said no.
<br>
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once
again he replied with a no.
<br>
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears were streaming
down her face.
<br>
The boy grabbed her arm and ...
1 Comments, 207 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score
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TROPHY GIRLFRIEND 4/10/2005
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows
up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful
and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who
knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex
appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens
intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all
aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask,
"Bob, how'd you get ...
3 Comments, 228 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
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It's a Boy, 6 ft. Tall, and 190 Pounds 8/11/2006
An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one
morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both
tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was,
she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her
third finger, left hand, and announced, "It's
a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!"
My question is: "When do
we know it is the ...
0 Comments, 167 Views,
12 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Ryme 6/19/2006
I just love them.... here's one:
--I love your smile, your face, and your eyes--
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!...
1 Comments, 212 Views,
12 Votes
,4.57 Score
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not tonight honey 7/17/2007
One night a man rolls over in bed, giving his wife a big grin.
She says "NOt tonight honey, I have a gynecologist's
appointment tomorrow,
I want to stay fresh and clean"
The man, feeling rejected, rolls over and tries to go to
sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls over again and ask his wife
"Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow?"
3 Comments, 118 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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A Man's Guide to PMS 3/23/2007
Folks,
<br>
I couldn't help not sharing this from my female best
friend (thank you cdl107!). As a wine connoisseur, she
loved this one...
<br>
=======================================
<br>
A Man's Guide to PMS
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month
when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life
in his own hands!
...
3 Comments, 298 Views,
11 Votes
,1.67 Score
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Passing The Finals 1/2/2007
Two guys were taking chemistry at the University of Louisville.
They did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, and
labs, and had a solid "A" going into the final.
They were so confident that the weekend before finals (the
chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to
the University of Kentucky and party with some friends.
They had a great time, however, they ...
4 Comments, 234 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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You know you're living in 2006 when... 9/27/2006
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in
years.
3. You have a list of 15 to reach your family
of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and
family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You ...
3 Comments, 75 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
|
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Japanese Fart 9/27/2006
Japanese Fart.
A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when
she married, she was to please her husband and never upset
him. So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese
bride crawled out of bed after making love, stooped down
to pick up her husbands clothes and accidentally let out
a big fart.
She looked up and said “Aww so sowwy.. ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
11 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Every Woman........ 3/24/2006
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
...one old love she can imagine going back to
...and one who reminds her how far she has come...
...enough money within her control to move out and rent
a place of her own, even if she never wants to and needs to.
...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of
her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
...a ...
0 Comments, 170 Views,
11 Votes
,5.97 Score
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Life before the LAPTOPS AND COMPUTERS 3/21/2006
just a little something for all
those computer lovers......
> >
> > Memory was something you lost with age
> > An application was for employment
> > A program was a TV show
> > A cursor used profanity
> > A keyboard was a piano
> > A web was a spider's home
> > A virus was the flu
> > A CD was a bank account
> > A hard drive was a long trip on the road ...
0 Comments, 231 Views,
11 Votes
,4.48 Score
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Love on the Street 2/22/2005
Such as walking hand to hand, kissing in the rain, dancing
under street light.......
<br>
what reminds you "REAL LOVE" on the street ?
A tree ? a leaf ? a stone ? ..........
<br>
or what is your best memory on street about love ?
<br>
or any fantasy ? imagination ? dream that you wanna live
?
<br>
Yes. i need your feelings about love at the ...
0 Comments, 261 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
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POLITICS EXPLAINED 12/21/2004
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"
Dad says, "Well , let me try to explain it this way:
<br>
1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.
<br>
2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call
her the Government.
<br>
3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll
call you the People.
<br>
...
1 Comments, 106 Views,
11 Votes
,1.86 Score
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LETTER FROM A CONCERNED SENIOR CITIZEN 12/21/2004
To Whom It May Concern, I am a senior citizen. During the
Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well
paying job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacations
homes.
Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire
life change for the worse: I lost my job. I lost my two sons
in that terrible Iraqi War.
I lost my home.
I lost my health insurance.
As a ...
1 Comments, 113 Views,
11 Votes
,2.79 Score
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An Expensive Funeral 1/16/2009
Everyone was dismayed that Peter had died.
A popular man, left his wife Moira a strict instructions in his will for his wake to be a jolly and happy
affair: a celebration of his life.
To this end Peter had left 25, 000 pound in his will for the
party.
As the guests caught their taxis at the end of the wake, Moira was asked by her closest friend name Alice, if she ...
0 Comments, 83 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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$20.00 9/13/2008
On their wedding night, the young
bride approached her new husband and asked for a $20.00
for their first sexual encounter. In his highly aroused
state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeatedly each time they made love for
more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way
for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she ...
2 Comments, 89 Views,
10 Votes
,6.17 Score
|
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Impossible to Please 10/26/2006
A group of girlfriends is on vacation
when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For
Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends
and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how
it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and
once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there.
It's ...
1 Comments, 118 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
|
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An International Recycling Program 8/25/2006
An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants,
bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits
down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who,
nevertheless, starts a conversation.
French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't.
In ...
1 Comments, 177 Views,
10 Votes
,5.58 Score
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Married Life is Full of Excitement 7/24/2006
MARRIED LIFE IS FULL
OF EXCITEMENT
1st Year of Marriage
The Man speaks and the Woman listens
2nd Year of Marriage
The Woman speaks and the Man listens
In the 3rd Year
They both speaks
And the neighbours listens.
...
1 Comments, 152 Views,
10 Votes
,3.39 Score
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The Irony of it all 4/3/2006
Oh, the Irony!
Two men are waiting at the gates of heaven and strike up a
conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the
second.
"I froze to death, " says the second.
"That's awful, " says the first man. "How
does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first, "
says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you ...
1 Comments, 267 Views,
10 Votes
,5.77 Score
|
|
explaination of life 9/4/2005
On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit
all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes
in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The said, "That's too long to be barking.
Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
people, do monkey tricks, ...
1 Comments, 147 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
|
|
The three words 6/28/2005
The wife was in the romantic mood as she came home form work
one day...
So she put on a see-through lingerie, and walks into the
livingroom where her husband sits, watching Football.
She walks betwen him and the TV, puts up an enticing figure,
and says:
" tell me the three words that will make me fly"
<br>
.. whereas the husband mutters
" TAKE AN AIRPLANE !!" ----
<br> ...
1 Comments, 205 Views,
10 Votes
,2.19 Score
|
|
THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER-OLD & NEW VERSION 12/21/2004
~THE OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the
Summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in
the cold.
<br>
~THE MODERN VERSION:
The ant works ...
1 Comments, 122 Views,
10 Votes
,0.80 Score
|
|
MGA ARAL KINA INAY AT ITAY 1/17/2007
TANDANG TANDA NAMIN NI KUYA ANG SAYA AT LUMBAY SA PODER NILA
INAY AT ITAY...LALO NA ANG MGA MAGAGANDANG LEKSYON NA NATUTUNAN
NAMIN SA KANILA!
<br>
1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako ng HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE.
"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa
labas. Mga punyeta kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."
<br>
2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay.
"Kapag yang ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
9 Votes
,5.78 Score
|
|
SAILOR.... 10/29/2006
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for
the docks
once more for old times sake.
He engages a and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age,
but needing some reassurance, he asks,
"How am I doing?"
The replies, "Well old sailor, you're
doing about three knots."
"Three knots?" he asks, "What's
...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
9 Votes
,5.78 Score
|
|
The Post 3/24/2006
3 people ....me, myself and I ....
have asked me to post
I have nothing to say !!!!!!!!!
I don't care if you respond !!!!
Somewhere it is hot ...somewhere it is raining... somewhere
it is cold
Another weekend is about over and most of us are still single
L...
0 Comments, 156 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
|
|
MODERN TIMES 12/21/2004
You know you're living in the modern age when . . .
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
<br>
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in
years.
<br>
3. You have a list of 15 to reach your family
of 3.
<br>
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
<br>
5. Your reason for not staying in touch ...
1 Comments, 153 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
|
|
SAVING MONEY 12/21/2004
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist`s office.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple
finished, the doctor said, "There`s nothing wrong
with the way you have intercourse, " and charged
them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make
an ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
|
|
Underwear dust 12/25/2008
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim
Fast. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not
amused, and decided
that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning
the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What
the ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
8 Votes
,6.26 Score
|
|
Kwentong Jeepney 1/13/2007
Uuwi ulit akong mag-isa.
<br>
Haay, salamat naman at uwian na. Kanina pa ako inip na inip
umuwi, aba
ang hirap atang magpanggap na may ginagawa. Galing ko na
ngang matulog
ng dilat eh, sakit nga lang sa ulo. Paalis na sana ako ng biglang
nag-text yung pinsan ko at hihintayin nya daw ako sa baba
ng building
para sabay na kaming umuwi. Kaya hayun, nagsinungaling
na naman akong ...
2 Comments, 129 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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' Views 11/13/2006
were asked about love. Here is what some of them
said:
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody
else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something
to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant
are so popular." Mae, age 9 ...
3 Comments, 219 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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COMPLIMENT??? 10/29/2006
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is
standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard
look at herself.
"You know, love" she says, "I look in the
mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my
chest sags to my waist, my rear is hanging out a mile. I've
got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, ...
1 Comments, 89 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Signs that Men are In Love 9/27/2006
You suspect that he loves you, but are not sure? Here are
clues to prove that he indeed loves you...
You catch him staring at your eyes. The eyes of men most often
reflect what’s welling in their heart. When despite all
the women around, it is you he’s staring at, this means that
his affection for you runs deep.
He stands right next to you in public. Men ...
2 Comments, 103 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Iba ang Pinoy!!! 9/27/2006
Free Haircut
There once was a very good old barber in New York .
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut,
he goes
to pay the barber and the barber replies:
"I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing
community
service."
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Recording what happens exactly when you fall in love 9/23/2006
you change
you become more beautiful, you come to smile more, you tend
to love more, and God do you feel more
you see more colors, you see more good, you see more bad,
you see more jealousy, you become more sad
you become more sensitive, you become more sick, you become
more healthy and you become more strict
you become more of what you hate, but ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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Online Dating 10/16/2005
and Dad were having quality time as both were admiring
how wonderful Mom is. The compliments came to an unexpected
question...
asks: "Daddy, where did I come from?"
Dad says: "Ah, my , I guess one day you will need
to find out anyway!" and ponders how to put it in words
the lad can understand.
"Well, " he finally says, "you see your
Mom and I first got ...
0 Comments, 222 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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The preacher buys a parrot. 5/5/2005
A preacher is buying a parrot.
"Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell or swear?"asked
the preacher.
"Oh! absolutely, Its a religious parrot, "the
store keeper assures him."Do you see the strings
on his legs?When you pull the right one, he will recites
the Lords prayer, and when you pull the left, he recites
the 23rd Psalms'"
"Wonderful!, " says the preacher, "But
what happens if you ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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do you believe in love at first sight? or sex after sight? 3/4/2005
people who goes on seb... is it bad or what?
some people if they want their ka eb or type they just throw
in their selves AND bang in each others. damn is this what
society is now? oh... ive heard lots of people doing the
same thing and after seb they sometimes pregnant them.
witout using any contraceptives... agre dis-agree? what
ever. you should have not done it with someone you dont ...
1 Comments, 123 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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~*AN IRISH LOVE STORY*~ 12/25/2008
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite
scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself
from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom,
and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both
hands, he ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Wife vs. Husband 5/20/2008
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?" "Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Amish and Elevators... 5/20/2008
An Amish boy and his father were visiting
a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby
that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked
his father, "What is this father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
", I have never seen anything like this in my life.
I don't know what it ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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To be 6 again... 5/19/2008
A man was sitting at the edge of the bed, observing his wife
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her
birthday. "I'd like to be six again, " she replied,
still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her
a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags
Theme Park. What ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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|
LOVE FAIRY 3/8/2008
1) Love is a beauty treatment Scientific test find that women make love, they produce amounts of estrogen hormones that can make her hair shines and smooth..
2) Gentle relax love making reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced, cleanses the pores and get your skin glow.
3) Love making can burnt off ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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The Top Ten Reasons 4/12/2007
The Top Ten Reasons
Men Prefer Guns Over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when
you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will
probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another
gun for a backup.
#6. Your ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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|
BALLERINA... 4/10/2007
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into
a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge,
hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at
the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But
down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his
hand down on the counter and bellowed, ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
7 Votes
,5.08 Score
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ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES 1/17/2007
Along a highway in Pampanga:
"WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"
<br>
On a self-service restaurant in Cebu:
"PLEASE HELP OUR COMFORT ROOM CLEAN"
<br>
In a Baguio grocery:
"FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"
<br>
In Cubao:
"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"
<br>
Along Luneta Boulevard:
"BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD"
<br>
On Jeepney and Bus signs:
"BEFORE ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
7 Votes
,5.84 Score
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|
Dr. Phil on Obsessions 1/14/2007
Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four
young mothers and their small . "You all
have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obssessed with
eating. You've even named your Candy."
He turned to the second mom."Your obsession is with
money. Again, it manifests itself in your 's
name, Penny."
He turns to the third mom."Your obsession is ...
4 Comments, 68 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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ACCEPTING WITHOUT CHANGING 1/22/2006
if you really someone, you have to accept whoever she/he
is.whatever it takes.just because someone doesnt love
you in the way you want them to, doesnt mean that they dont
love you with all they've got.
0 Comments, 124 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
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~~~Secret Love...R~~~ 12/7/2004
* * * Secret Lover * * *
(kamasutrachic)
<br>
Secret Love….r?
Are you going to be my secret lover?
That will fulfill my thirst and hunger….
For lust, for affection, for whatever,
That will leave me breathlessly satisfied
Every time we’re together?
<br>
Can you satisfy me?
Can you do aerobics without the DVD?
Can you ...
1 Comments, 51 Views,
7 Votes
,2.28 Score
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|
Joys Of Marriage 7/10/2007
Marriage Part Three
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table.
Husband get up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either"
and he storm out of the house.After some time he realizes that he was nasty to his wife and decided to make
ammends and rings her up. She answer the phone after so many rings, and the irritated
husband ...
0 Comments, 132 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Sexy Guy (NOT!!!) :) :) 4/5/2007
You are sooooo SEXY!
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd rather go out with my friend chels.
You getting as big as santa claus.
you cant even fit thru the doors.
[COLOR ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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|
A burglar is in big trouble! 1/27/2007
A burglar has just made it into the house hes intending racksacking
and hes looking around for stuff to steal.All of a sudden
a little voice pipes up." I can see you and so jesus".
Starled, the burglar looked around the room.No one there
at all, so he goes back to his business.
"I can see you and so can Jesus!, the burglar jumps
again and takes a longer look around the room.Over in the ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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WHOSE PROPERTY 1/25/2007
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody
of their posed a problem.
<br>
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge
that since she brought the into this world, she
should retain custody of them.
<br>
The man also wanted custody of his , so the judge
asked for his justification. After a long silence, the
man slowly rose from his chair ...
0 Comments, 35 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
|
|
What a Woman Wants in a Man ???????????? 12/29/2006
What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
-----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
6 Votes
,5.64 Score
|
|
Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives. 11/7/2006
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt
urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!
0 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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MILK... 10/4/2006
Milk
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you
can get the milk for free."
Here's an update for you . . . Nowadays 80% of women are
against marriage.
Why?
Because women finally realize it's not worth buying
an entire Pig . . . just to get a little sausage.
...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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BIZARRE LAWS 12/18/2004
Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following
Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with
a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh." (umm ok,
I'm sure the lamb appreciates that one)
<br>
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals,
but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations
with a male animal is punishable by death. (OK, like THAT ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Painfull words 5/23/2011
Words can be the most painful thing to a person heart and
soul. The more emotionally attached we are to that person,
the more damage us, can do. Never tell , they are
bad, be careful, to tell them that what they are doing is
wrong. Separate the action from the person. Same with adults,
at work we are given, reports of every little thing, down
to our breaks they do not like, at the beginning of ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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|
Writing Home from College 2/12/2010
One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about
her , a college student at the University of Illinois.
"Why, our is so brilliant, every time we get a letter
from him we have to go to the dictionary."
"You're lucky, " the neighbor said. "Every
time we get a letter from our in college, we have to go
to the bank!"
1 Comments, 37 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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"what every kiss means" 4/14/2009
Kiss on the stomach = Im ready
~Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever"
~Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything
~Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
~Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
~Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
~Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
~Kiss on the Lips = I love you"
What the gesture means...
~Holding Hands = ...
2 Comments, 66 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Joys Of Marriage 7/16/2007
Marriage Part Two
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of there
40th wedding anniversary..
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone, that
reads " Here Lies My Wife Cold As Ever, "
Yeah! she replies.." When you die, I am getting you
a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband-- Stiff At Last!"
(HE ASKED FOR IT)
1 Comments, 91 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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code word for sex 1/24/2007
A husband and a wife decided they needed to use "code"
to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting
their in on it.They decided on the word typewriter.
One day the husband told his five years old "Go
tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter."
The told her mother what her dad said.And her mom responded"Tell
your dad that he cant type a letter right now becoz theres ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
Only In America 1/7/2007
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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|
I'm glad I'm a man 12/20/2006
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't
live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't
bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can
get where I want to -- north, south, east or west. I don't
get wasted after only 2 beers; and when I do drink I don't
end up in tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to
wear; I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And I don't ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
5 Votes
,5.10 Score
|
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Why do little boys whine? 10/6/2006
1. Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
2. Why do only l0% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
3. Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract....
1 Comments, 49 Views,
5 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Goat for Dinner? 7/3/2005
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday
dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal,
the minister asked their what they were having
<br>
"Goat, " the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth.
"Are you sure about that?" "Yep, " said the youngster. "I heard
Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the
old goat ...
0 Comments, 116 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
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MALE SEX TEST 12/18/2004
Gentlemen Please Take the Following TEST
<br>
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred
to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
<br>
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only
after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
LOUD AND CLEAR!! 9/4/2015
A very shy guy goes into a bar
and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour
of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and
asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted
with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No,
I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in
the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
|
|
How to Make a Woman Happy 6/26/2009
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Never Tick off a Nurse 1/15/2008
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around
just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted
to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him,
but finally even she had had enough. She came into his room
and announced, "I have to take your ...
3 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
JOYS OF MARRIAGE 6/27/2007
Marriage Part Four
A man has 6 and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
" Mother of Six, " in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decide that it is time
to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave
as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother Of ...
3 Comments, 104 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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VOTED Best Short Joke 3/10/2007
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, ", we'd give you one, but
the mortgage on this house is $280, 000, and your mother
just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the
front door with a suitcase. So he asked, ", where
are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
|
|
Enjoy the Chinese Way. 2/22/2007
A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth
be told, he - a waiter - is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets
as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries
to be reassuring. "My darring, "he says, "I
know dis you first time and you berry frighten. I pomise
you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss ...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
|
|
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk... 2/1/2007
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in
that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably
got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission
statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard ...
1 Comments, 53 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
LIVING WILL 1/23/2007
WHILE I WAS WATCHING SOME SPORTS ON TV ONE WEEKEND, MY WIFE
AND I GOT INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, AND THE
NEED FOR LIVING WILLS.
DURING THE COURSE OF THE CONVERSATION, I TOLD HER THAT I
NEVER WANTED TO EXIST IN A VEGETATIVE STATE, DEPENDENT
ON SOME MACHINE, AND TAKING FLUIDS FORM A BOTTLE.
SHE GOT UP, UNPLUGGED THE TV AND THREW OUT ALL MY BEER.
...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
|
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Blind, Blonde & Ballsy... 12/20/2006
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says,
"Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm
blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler
and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting
over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde
joke?"
The blind man is silent for ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
|
|
LET'S HAVE A JOKE QUESTION.............. 11/8/2006
Whats is the muscle that have lot's of veins and pumping
use for making love???? ...
2 Comments, 78 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
|
|
Cheating... 9/22/2006
Hey fellas! What you gonna do if you caught him/her cheating
on you? Forgive and forget or break up with him/her? Tell
me... I just want to know your opinions about this.
4 Comments, 158 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
|
|
joke time... 7/24/2006
Tarzan & animals went to the river to take a bath.
When Tarzan took off his clothes, all animals laughed
When Tarzan asked " WHY ? "
animals said : " Ur tail is in front! "
.......................
Q: Why do women wear black panties ?
A : For the memory of those who got buried inside !
Q: Why do men have to wear white briefs ?
A : To pretend that it's pure & never been ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
Make up your Mind 11/24/2005
Tell me, what is it with people these days? Breaking up is
a thing of the past, at least a clean break is! I don't
see what the hesitation is to depart from the jaws of life(excuse
the analagy I used, but come on)get real. Why do people both
male and female, I'll be sure to implament both sex,
because I don't want to come off as byass. Some people
have a problem with separation, I ...
2 Comments, 113 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
THE BAPTIST BRA 7/17/2005
A man walked into the Women's Department of Macy's
in New York city.
>
>He told the saleslady, "I would like a Baptist
bra for my wife, size
36B."
>
>With a quizzical look, the saleslady asked, "What
kind of bra?" He
>repeated, "A Baptist bra. She said to tell you
that she wanted a
Baptist
>bra and that you would know what she wanted."
>
>"Ah, ...
0 Comments, 127 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
|
|
Bet ! 2/5/2010
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
...
2 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
Salary this month ...100 Kisses 5/26/2009
Husband Letter to Wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart.
Your husband Allen….
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1.. The Milk man agreed on 2 ...
5 Comments, 81 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Replace Husband 11/6/2008
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor
to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked
for a description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark
eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken, and is good to the ."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband
is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, ...
3 Comments, 56 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
JOKE........ 8/3/2007
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the
Director what the criterion was which defined whether
or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well, " said the Director, "we fill
up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket
to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand, " said the visitor. "A
normal person would use the bucket because ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
Joys Of Marriage 6/23/2007
Marriage Part One
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady..
And after the wedding, the macho man laid down the following
rules. He told his wife:
I'll be home when I want, if I want and what time I want..and
I don't expect any hassle from you... I expect a great
dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't
be home for dinner.... I will go hunting, ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Snow in Caribbean..?!!??!!? 6/12/2007
A lady goes on vacation to the Caribbean.
Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of
passionate love making she asks him, "What is your
name?"
"I can't tell you, " the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again
what his name is and he always responds the same, he can't
tell her.
On her last night there she ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Broke Back Deer Camp 5/31/2007
Hahaha ......
Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay
with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The
first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next
morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
The ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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MEMORIES 5/24/2007
U CAN NEVER REGAIN SOMETHING U LEFT IN THE PAST.. CHANGE
UR FOCUS 2 THE PRESENT INSTEAD OF CLINGING OF 2 SOME MEMORY
OF WHAT U ONCE HAD.. MEMORIES ARE NICE, BUT THATS ALL THEY
ARE.... ...
3 Comments, 55 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Golf Balls 4/23/2007
I never like golf, so I don't know what kind or which
kind of golf ball to use.My friend invited me to go w/ her
to choose the rght ball to use..
She and I were in the golf store comparing different kinds
of golf balls...
She was unhappy w/ the woman's type she have been using...
After browsing for several minutes, we were approached
by one of the good looking gentleman who works ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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The Frugal Husband 4/14/2007
A penny-pinching husband regularly imposes his budgetary
goals with his wife. It seems that it may, he could never
be satisfied. One day on the way home from work, the wife
decided not to take the bus so she can impress her hubby by
saving a few bucks. She even chased the bus so she can prove
that it would take the same time and distance to get home.
Surely enough, as soon she arrived at their ...
2 Comments, 70 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Be Carefull What You Wish For (Including What Others May) 4/12/2007
Three men were stranded on an island. While the other two
men seemed responsible family men, the other was just enjoying
the company of his new friends. The first two men were beginning
to get tiref of the other, cognizant he is just plain stupid.
One day, one of them stumbled upon Aladdin's magic
lamp. So they rubbed it and the gennie appeared. POOF! Each
of them were granted a wish. The ...
2 Comments, 54 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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When Things Work Out Between a Man and a Woman 1/7/2007
For engineers:
- Aerospace engineers fly you to the moon and back.
- Chemical engineers work with heat transfer and can make
explosive reactions.
- Civil engineers build mighty erections.
- Communications engineers stay connected.
- Computer engineers work with random access.
- Design engineers do it in simulation.
- Electrical engineers work with raw power.
- ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Marriage Views 1/1/2007
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, then you see what
the other fellow has, and you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. ...
1 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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BISAYA PUD (VISAYAN LANGGUAGE) 11/5/2006
PLS..... answer this!!!!!!!!!!
1.
SA DIHANG NAKITA KITA MI OK OK KA HINUON SA MAY BINTANA....
Answer it by translating in ENGLISH....
2.
LET'S EAT DON'T BE SHY FEEL AT HOME...
Answer it by Translating in TAGALOG..
A simple word that makes a filipino proud of.. Thanks
[COLOR ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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A Virgin's Nightmare 10/8/2006
A Virgin's Nightmare
Message: A girl asks her
boyfriend to
come over
Friday
night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is
such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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"What Does Love Mean?" 8/25/2006
Adults should take lessons from some of these !
A group of professionals posed this question to a group
of 4 to 8 year olds:
"What Does Love Mean?"
The answers they got were broader than anyone could have
imagined:
1. "When my grandma got arthritis, she couldnt bend
over and paint her toenails anymore, so my grandpa does
it for her now all the time, even ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS !!!! 11/20/2005
This is a very good reminder for all of us.
<br>
<br>
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions
towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all
the people around you, especially your "boss".
The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling
kaaya-aya" :
<br>
<br>
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. ...
1 Comments, 122 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Breaking the Ice... 9/17/2005
A couple of teenagers were at their earliest stage in their
relationship. One day, the guy visited, the sense of ackwardness
was in the air. Moments later, the young man felt the call
of nature in his stomach and gas wanted to let out. But no
one in their right mind wouldn't hold that. Then on
the other side of the table, the young lady kept sniffling
her runny nose up and down her ...
7 Comments, 207 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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Make me feel like a woman ! 1/19/2010
The passengers on an airliner were shocked when the captain's
voice announced that the plane was going to make a crash
landing. One lady, upon hearing this dire news, ripped open her blouse and screamed to the man sitting next
to her, "Make me feel like a woman!"
The man quickly ripped off his own shirt, handed it to her,
and replied, "Okay, iron this!"
1 Comments, 28 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Battle of the Sexes 3/6/2008
Never try to outsmart a woman!
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all
of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die.
I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with
me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
<br>
<br>
And so he got his wife to promise him ...
0 Comments, 126 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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's Dad 8/3/2007
A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that
the older three had red hair, light skin and were tall, while
the youngest had black hair, dark eyes and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed
when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me --
is our youngest my ?"
The wife replied, "I swear on ...
1 Comments, 43 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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LOVE HEARING AID 8/3/2007
A man feared his wife wasn't
hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid
. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do, " said ...
1 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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The Perfect Man 7/31/2007
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes
And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning ...
1 Comments, 33 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Silent Treatment 7/31/2007
A man and his wife were having some problems at home...
And were giving each other the silent treatment...
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need
his wife....
To wake him up at 5:00am for an early flight for a business meeting...
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose),
He wrote on a piece of paper.... "Please ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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RETURN 4/14/2007
GO FOR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU
NOT ONLY FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE ITS NEVER WRONG TO LOVE A PERSON
WHO BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE
BUT IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO COULD LOVE YOU
IN RETURN......
3 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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IN love 4/10/2007
I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything
other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in
a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help.
There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It
is the common fiber of life, the flame of that heats our soul,
energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives.
It is our connection to God and to each other.Among ...
1 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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WHO AM I? 2/22/2007
Guess who I am??
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood
on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars
were in the driveway.
His walk was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out
with a load of empty beer
and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys
had one heck of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob, in ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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PICK UP LINES...for those who want to fool around 2/13/2007
1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..
2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..
3. Uy picture tayo!!
*** para ma-develop tayo!!
4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot
ba kita??
*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..
5. Can i take your picture??
...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Missing Equation 12/17/2006
Romance can be a lot like buying shoes.
Sometimes, no matter how great a certain style looks, it's
just not a great fit on you.
If crucial factor is "missing from the equation", you can't force it.
Let it go....and enjoy on new search....
1 Comments, 43 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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SPELL IT OUT! 11/25/2006
In the spirit of love that is true and baduy, here
are some L.O.V.E. lines which you should NEVER use....Enjoy!
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
...
0 Comments, 133 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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When a girl misses you... 10/9/2006
When you break a girls heart,
she still feels it when
you run into eachother 3 years later
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind.
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around.
When a girl answers, "I'm ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS 8/21/2006
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions
towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all
the people around you, especially your boss. The rules
of practicing 'ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya':
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit . Pag
naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna .
#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa . Pag ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Why do men cheats? 7/9/2006
Guys please don't be offend about this.I just want
to ask about this?I want to know why?My cousin really wants
to know why?
1 Comments, 182 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Love is Like Gambling 9/16/2005
Hi folks,
<br>
I hardly ever gamble, even if Las Vegas is my old stomping
ground, but i reckon I sure share this:
<br>
"Love is like Texas Hold'em Poker. Chip leader
or not, before you push all your chips forward and say, {I'm
all in!}, make sure you have the winning hand. Unlike money,
no one should go bankrupt in love. It will really take time
to earn it all back. ...
4 Comments, 185 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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What Bugs You? 9/16/2005
Out of boredom, a man who was in prison for so many years decided
to train a cockroach to do tricks, sometimes errands for
him. He trained it to do circles and flips with just hand
gestures. He even trained it to get cigarettes from nearby
prison cells. All of this took so many years of patience
and trial and error skills.
<br>
Finally, the day came that he got paroled. As soon as ...
2 Comments, 104 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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laugh w/ own jokes 4/13/2005
a girl spying his boy in order for her to prove that he is true.then
she made herself a two-faced woman..then she talk to her
boy as his girl and at the same time talk to him as her new friend.then
the boy is already busy talking with them. as if he's
not talking w/ other, he did his best to reply right away..then
it came to the point that the message for the friend is sent
to her girl..the ...
1 Comments, 181 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Soin luv with him... 9/29/2009
I think he is the sweetest man I have ever met in my life, if
I was to see my ex-husband now, yes I will marry him again,
if only he can forgive me, maybe it's too late for everything
but I shouldn't be talking about it too much. I really
would like to ask you if you are a man or a woman? I like treating
the opposite sex with respect and satisfying them in bed,
lots of massaging, kissing and ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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New Angel Holes 8/3/2008
An old lady dies and goes to heaven.
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling
screams.
'Don't worry about that, ' says St. Peter,
'It's only someone having the holes put into her
shoulder blades for the wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on
with the conversation. ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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love vs relationship 4/15/2008
we ended our so called relationship 4 years both of us hurted
each other reasons that till now left unspoken, ,, it
was over is it??? then why you day by day checked my profiles then why you posts
messages that belongs to us and why do i so, ,, im a liar
to say i dont love you coz i do as much as those days your here
with me, ,, why do i tremble each timeyou send a smile and
why are you still ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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~~~ WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN ~~~ 3/8/2008
WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!
HE : Can I buy you a drink? SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for
a face like yours. SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking
for a face like yours.
HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake
twice. ...
4 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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breakfast is ready! 9/22/2007
"If you'll make
the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart, " said
the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having
for breakfast, " said the new husband.
"Toast and juice, "
she replied....
1 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Somalian Immigrant 6/28/2007
A somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to
the United States..
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street
and says..
" Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, ,
giving me housing, ,, food stamps, free medical care
and free education", ,
But the passer by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican
!"..
The Somalian goes on ...
1 Comments, 52 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Useful Work Tips 1/28/2007
Here are some incredibly useful phrases you can use when
in the workplace...
If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…
If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’…
If you don’t know whether its worth doing, call it an ‘option’…
If you don’t know ...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Do You Like Apples 1/25/2007
Do You Like Apples"
Hey again...first thanks for the folks who enjoyed my Lil
story about " My Best Friend"...I have recieved
a few interresting emails about it to say the least..Most
from young lovers. Thats so cool By the Way. The question
was pretty much the same..How?..lol...Very simple...make
life a game. There's time outs...there's tag
your it...and catch me if ya can( which you ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Pitfalls of an Internet Relationship 1/24/2009
This is a personal observation and di answers
based on volumes of research. This also pertains to the male and female sex only..."otherwise"
don't count. This is not, I repeat, NOT a cure-all or must learn article...it
is but a product of my imagination and you can take it or leave
it as you please. No persons were harmed in the making of this article. Kung
may ...
4 Comments, 73 Views,
0 Votes
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4 person in yoUr liFe,hOw maNy HaVe you found 1/19/2008
4 person in your life how many have u found? 1st- urself,
2nd-1 u love most, 3rd-1 who love u most, 4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with. firstly u'll
meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels. Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who
loves u most. When u've experienced the feeling of
loving others and being loved, u'll then know what
it is u need most. Then u ...
2 Comments, 31 Views,
0 Votes
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The Bond Between a Mother and a 11/26/2007
The bond between a mother and is the most precious
gift of all. It is this unexplainable most fulfilling feeling
that only 'that' mother and can share.
A mother should never feel they have to stop protecting
their . Of course they must let them make their
own decisions and let them grow as an individual, but they
must never stop protecting or being a guide for their life.
A mother knows their ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
0 Votes
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It's a boy! 9/22/2007
An unmarried girl who worked
in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out
big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When
asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new
diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand,
and announced, "It's a boy, six feet tall and
190 pounds!"  ...
1 Comments, 24 Views,
0 Votes
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Life Without Love Is Nothing !!!!!!! says michico999 2/4/2006
This 36-year-old woman from Cavite is one of the latest
additions in this group. So as usual, let's give her
the warm welcome.
<br>
Profile for michico999
"im a simple minded person enjoying a simple life
with simple dreams!!!
<br>
Ideal Person:
im looking for a sincere, responsible and honest to goodness
person who will accept me for what i am...someone who will ...
1 Comments, 118 Views,
0 Votes
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