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mom_of_two 54 F
6  Articles
The Ten Commandments of Marriage   6/28/2004

The Ten Commandments of Marriage 1.Marriage are made in heaven, so are thunder and lighting. <br> 2.If u want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 3.Marriage is grand ‒ and divorce is at least 100 grand. <br> 4.Married is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the ...


1 Comments, 1376 Views, 232 Votes ,7.78 Score
Right_Rider 40 M
13  Articles
Blind Date Descriptions   5/20/2005

Most all bachelors have been the victims of a blind date. Numerous well meaning friends and relatives are always willing to "fix up" unsuspecting bachelors with girls whom they describe as "perfect for you." However, from the description given, it is difficult to imagine what these girls may be like. After considerable research, as a public service, here is an attempted to translate some ...


0 Comments, 607 Views, 56 Votes ,4.62 Score
SALLIEwriter1193 63 F
196  Articles
FORWARDED JOKE: THE DENTIST   1/28/2005

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old year old comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a ...


1 Comments, 513 Views, 54 Votes ,6.61 Score
SALLIEwriter1193 63 F
196  Articles
CIA AND THE WOMAN   3/19/2005

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances are. <br> Inside this room, you will ...


12 Comments, 608 Views, 43 Votes ,5.35 Score
thewriter1193 63 F
298  Articles
THE BARBER   12/9/2004

There is this good old barber in some city in the United States. One day a postman goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The postman is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a stamps ...


1 Comments, 293 Views, 43 Votes ,6.49 Score
thewriter1193 63 F
298  Articles
A NAMED SEX   12/8/2004

Everybody who has a calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex." He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. <br> When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. ...


0 Comments, 102 Views, 41 Votes ,7.71 Score
aggy46 65 F
19  Articles
Your favorite fruit and what it reveals about u   7/21/2004

Choose your favorite fruit <br> Apple Banana Black Grapes Cherry Coconut Custard Apple Mango Orange Papaya Peach Pear Pineapple <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> see what it reveals about u..... <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> ...


1 Comments, 99 Views, 41 Votes ,4.65 Score
imzadi_ 113 F
1  Article
What A Married Man Should Be   9/24/2004

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. <br> He forces himself to open his eyes ... and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. <br> He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him ... all clean and pressed. <br> Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order ... spotless ... clean. ...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 31 Votes ,7.46 Score
chitsexify 63 F
21  Articles
How To Make Love With A PC   6/26/2004

Cyber...cyber...cyber! <br> On a CDROM, place your lady on your DESKTOP Shove your HARD DRIVE into her SOFTWARE Input...output...input...output...consistent in speed Now...DOWNLOADING You now have a FLOPPY DICK!!!


0 Comments, 93 Views, 31 Votes ,3.91 Score
city_journalist 63 F
63  Articles
BODY TRADE BACK   12/21/2004

A man was sick and tired of going to work everyday while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord, I go to work everday and put in eight hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen." God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. <br> ...


4 Comments, 272 Views, 30 Votes ,4.91 Score
aggy46 65 F
19  Articles
WRONG FUNERAL   7/27/2004

Wrong Funeral - Author Unknown <br> Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense, I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held a box of tissues while listening to ...


0 Comments, 98 Views, 30 Votes ,6.87 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
HEALTH DIAGNOSIS   12/20/2004

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. <br> 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. <br> 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. <br> 4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than ...


1 Comments, 271 Views, 26 Votes ,1.95 Score
Galing Talaga Ng Pinoy   12/9/2004

1) A couple placed an ad, "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to have a ." Yank: Keep trying! Briton: Change doctor! Aussie: Follow a special diet. Indian: Practice Yoga! Pinoy: LET ME TRY! 2) Population policies of countries: China: Stop at 1 . Singapore: Stop at 2 Philippines: STOP AT 4 A.M.! 3) Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot? American: Excuse me. British: Pardon me. Pinoy: NOT ...


0 Comments, 121 Views, 23 Votes ,6.63 Score
pinay_magiting 51 F
40  Articles
$5,000.00   8/27/2006

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5, 000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5, ...



2 Comments, 120 Views, 20 Votes ,4.78 Score
SALLIEwriter1193 63 F
196  Articles
DON'T TALK TO MY PARROT   4/26/2005

A woman's dishwasher quit working one day so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." <br> "Oh, and by the way, don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY ...


1 Comments, 230 Views, 20 Votes ,4.78 Score
pinay_magiting 51 F
40  Articles
Breakfast in Paris   8/27/2006

An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: ...



5 Comments, 118 Views, 19 Votes ,4.71 Score
bubba100 62 M
13  Articles
So You Want to Marry a Filipina   7/28/2006

Here's a little test for you prospective husbands. There are two aims here: first, to determine how much you actually know about your prospective wife's homeland and culture, and two, to check your ability to deal with certain nuances once the marriage is official. Be honest, because you're the only person who knows your score, and there aren't any cash prizes!

1. Have ...


3 Comments, 127 Views, 18 Votes ,4.63 Score
BMW Engineer Dies! ( goes to heaven)   4/1/2006

An engineer, of the BMW Motorrad Corporation died and went to heaven.
At the gates St. Peter told him, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorbikes have changed the world,
your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven".
The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took him to ...


3 Comments, 212 Views, 18 Votes ,6.13 Score
faithfullyyours 54 F
18  Articles
The Bravest Man   9/16/2006

A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, ...


1 Comments, 200 Views, 17 Votes ,4.26 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
HOW WOMEN SEE MEN   12/26/2004

Men are like ... Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you. Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are. Vacations ..... They never seem to be long enough. Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them. Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips. Commercials ...


1 Comments, 188 Views, 16 Votes ,1.22 Score
Godiva23 41 F
5  Articles
untiring love   7/3/2005

Untiring Love <br> This is a true story that happened in Japan. <br> In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tore open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside was hammered into one of its feet. He saw this, felt ...


0 Comments, 184 Views, 15 Votes ,4.66 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
ALCOHOL WARNING LABEL   12/20/2004

Due to increasing product liability litigation, alcohol manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all alcohol containers/bottles: <br> WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. <br> WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing ...


2 Comments, 188 Views, 15 Votes ,2.06 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
candy and nuts   3/10/2007

my friend and i were walking at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.. as we were looking at the dispaly case, the boy behind the counter asked, if we needed help.. I replied, "no i'm just looking at ur nuts", my friend started to laughed hyterically, and the boy grinned and i was turned beet red and walk away... never forget the look of the boy's face while ...


3 Comments, 366 Views, 14 Votes ,1.86 Score
romantico50 69 M
6  Articles
Wedding night   5/29/2005

The much anticipated wedding night had finally arrived. When they got to the bed room they started to undress. The groom took off his socks and the bride let out a little yell and said honey what happened to your toes? He looked at her and said, baby when I was a little boy I had toemonia. She said don't you mean pneumonia? He said no, toemonia. It is a rare desease that affects the ...


0 Comments, 316 Views, 14 Votes ,3.30 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
HOROSCOPE   12/8/2004

AQUARIUS You have an inventive mind and are a progressive thinker. You also lie a lot and are inclined to be careless and impractical, making the same mistakes over and over. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. <br> PISCES You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA. You have some influence over your friends and people resent you for ...


0 Comments, 68 Views, 14 Votes ,3.14 Score
Champs_elysee33 55 M
28  Articles
Isn't this Funny???   3/21/2006

If a man talks dirty to a woman, its called sexual harassment.
But if a woman talks dirty to a man it costs 1 euro 99 cents!!!(per min)!!!!
(while surfing in my break the Internet there was a Filipino site i don't like to mention the name in here but it is a true Joke)...


1 Comments, 273 Views, 13 Votes ,4.82 Score
the_jaqal 49 M
7  Articles
A girl and a boy   4/14/2005

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said...no. <br> She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. <br> She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. <br> She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears were streaming down her face. <br> The boy grabbed her arm and ...


1 Comments, 207 Views, 13 Votes ,4.82 Score
SALLIEwriter1193 63 F
196  Articles
TROPHY GIRLFRIEND   3/17/2005

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get ...


3 Comments, 228 Views, 13 Votes ,3.14 Score
sweetjoan1108 59 F
32  Articles
The Brown Suit   10/8/2004

A woman came to the funeral parlor to see her husband corpse."You did a good job", she said to the undertaker."he looks just the way he always looked, except for one thing.My husband always wore a brown suit, but you have him dressed in a blue suit." "That is no problem, " said the undertaker, "We can easily change it". When she returned later, her husband was wearing a brown suit."Now ...


0 Comments, 44 Views, 13 Votes ,5.16 Score
pinay_magiting 51 F
40  Articles
It's a Boy, 6 ft. Tall, and 190 Pounds   8/4/2006

An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced, "It's a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!"
My question is: "When do we know it is the ...


0 Comments, 167 Views, 12 Votes ,2.45 Score
Champs_elysee33 55 M
28  Articles
Ryme   4/14/2006

I just love them.... here's one:




--I love your smile, your face, and your eyes--
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
...


1 Comments, 212 Views, 12 Votes ,4.57 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
not tonight honey   2/19/2007

One night a man rolls over in bed, giving his wife a big grin.
She says "NOt tonight honey, I have a gynecologist's appointment tomorrow,
I want to stay fresh and clean"
The man, feeling rejected, rolls over and tries to go to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls over again and ask his wife
"Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow?"


3 Comments, 118 Views, 11 Votes ,5.22 Score
Japanese Fart   9/16/2006

Japanese Fart.
A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she married, she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled out of bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her husbands clothes and accidentally let out a big fart.
She looked up and said “Aww so sowwy.. ...


2 Comments, 81 Views, 11 Votes ,2.79 Score
pinay_magiting 51 F
40  Articles
You know you're living in 2006 when...   8/25/2006

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You ...


3 Comments, 75 Views, 11 Votes ,3.92 Score
Passing The Finals   4/6/2006

Two guys were taking chemistry at the University of Louisville. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, and labs, and had a solid "A" going into the final. They were so confident that the weekend before finals (the chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the University of Kentucky and party with some friends.
They had a great time, however, they ...


4 Comments, 234 Views, 11 Votes ,4.66 Score
Champs_elysee33 55 M
28  Articles
Every Woman........   3/24/2006

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
...one old love she can imagine going back to ...and one who reminds her how far she has come... ...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to and needs to. ...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour. ...a ...


0 Comments, 170 Views, 11 Votes ,5.97 Score
Champs_elysee33 55 M
28  Articles
Life before the LAPTOPS AND COMPUTERS   3/21/2006

just a little something for all those computer lovers...... > > > > Memory was something you lost with age > > An application was for employment > > A program was a TV show > > A cursor used profanity > > A keyboard was a piano > > A web was a spider's home > > A virus was the flu > > A CD was a bank account > > A hard drive was a long trip on the road ...


0 Comments, 231 Views, 11 Votes ,4.48 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
A Man's Guide to PMS   9/26/2005

Folks, <br> I couldn't help not sharing this from my female best friend (thank you cdl107!). As a wine connoisseur, she loved this one... <br> ======================================= <br> A Man's Guide to PMS The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! ...


3 Comments, 298 Views, 11 Votes ,1.67 Score
ART_DIRECTOR 54 M
10  Articles
Love on the Street   2/20/2005

Such as walking hand to hand, kissing in the rain, dancing under street light....... <br> what reminds you "REAL LOVE" on the street ? A tree ? a leaf ? a stone ? .......... <br> or what is your best memory on street about love ? <br> or any fantasy ? imagination ? dream that you wanna live ? <br> Yes. i need your feelings about love at the ...


0 Comments, 261 Views, 11 Votes ,1.48 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
POLITICS EXPLAINED   12/20/2004

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?" Dad says, "Well , let me try to explain it this way: <br> 1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President. <br> 2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. <br> 3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. <br> ...


1 Comments, 106 Views, 11 Votes ,1.86 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
LETTER FROM A CONCERNED SENIOR CITIZEN   12/20/2004

To Whom It May Concern, I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacations homes. Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse: I lost my job. I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. I lost my home. I lost my health insurance. As a ...


1 Comments, 113 Views, 11 Votes ,2.79 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
An Expensive Funeral   11/18/2008

Everyone was dismayed that Peter had died.

A popular man, left his wife Moira a strict instructions in his will for his wake to be a jolly and happy affair: a celebration of his life.

To this end Peter had left 25, 000 pound in his will for the party.

As the guests caught their taxis at the end of the wake, Moira was asked by her closest friend name Alice, if she ...


0 Comments, 83 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
ShySagittarian 61 F
11  Articles
$20.00   5/19/2008

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for a $20.00 for their first sexual encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeatedly each time they made love for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she ...



2 Comments, 89 Views, 10 Votes ,6.17 Score
pinay_magiting 51 F
40  Articles
Impossible to Please   9/26/2006

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's ...



1 Comments, 118 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
Lil_Melon 43 F
51  Articles
An International Recycling Program   7/24/2006

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In ...


1 Comments, 177 Views, 10 Votes ,5.58 Score
sweet0327 51 F
17  Articles
Married Life is Full of Excitement   5/27/2006

MARRIED LIFE IS FULL OF EXCITEMENT 1st Year of Marriage The Man speaks and the Woman listens 2nd Year of Marriage The Woman speaks and the Man listens
In the 3rd Year They both speaks And the neighbours listens.

...


1 Comments, 152 Views, 10 Votes ,3.39 Score
Ice_500 58 F
4  Articles
The Irony of it all   3/30/2006

Oh, the Irony!
Two men are waiting at the gates of heaven and strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death, " says the second.
"That's awful, " says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first, " says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you ...


1 Comments, 267 Views, 10 Votes ,5.77 Score
Godiva23 41 F
5  Articles
explaination of life   7/8/2005

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed. On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, ...


1 Comments, 147 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
The three words   6/20/2005

The wife was in the romantic mood as she came home form work one day... So she put on a see-through lingerie, and walks into the livingroom where her husband sits, watching Football. She walks betwen him and the TV, puts up an enticing figure, and says: " tell me the three words that will make me fly" <br> .. whereas the husband mutters " TAKE AN AIRPLANE !!" ---- <br> ...


1 Comments, 205 Views, 10 Votes ,2.19 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER-OLD & NEW VERSION   12/20/2004

~THE OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the Summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. <br> ~THE MODERN VERSION: The ant works ...


1 Comments, 122 Views, 10 Votes ,0.80 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
SAILOR....   10/24/2006

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more for old times sake. He engages a and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing?" The replies, "Well old sailor, you're doing about three knots."
"Three knots?" he asks, "What's ...


1 Comments, 92 Views, 9 Votes ,5.78 Score
Champs_elysee33 55 M
28  Articles
The Post   3/23/2006

3 people ....me, myself and I .... have asked me to post I have nothing to say !!!!!!!!! I don't care if you respond !!!! Somewhere it is hot ...somewhere it is raining... somewhere it is cold Another weekend is about over and most of us are still single
L...


0 Comments, 156 Views, 9 Votes ,4.49 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
MODERN TIMES   12/20/2004

You know you're living in the modern age when . . . 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. <br> 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. <br> 3. You have a list of 15 to reach your family of 3. <br> 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. <br> 5. Your reason for not staying in touch ...


1 Comments, 153 Views, 9 Votes ,2.36 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
SAVING MONEY   12/20/2004

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist`s office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There`s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse, " and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an ...


1 Comments, 115 Views, 9 Votes ,1.72 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
MGA ARAL KINA INAY AT ITAY   10/24/2004

TANDANG TANDA NAMIN NI KUYA ANG SAYA AT LUMBAY SA PODER NILA INAY AT ITAY...LALO NA ANG MGA MAGAGANDANG LEKSYON NA NATUTUNAN NAMIN SA KANILA! <br> 1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako ng HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas. Mga punyeta kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay." <br> 2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay. "Kapag yang ...


0 Comments, 30 Views, 9 Votes ,5.78 Score
ShySagittarian 61 F
11  Articles
Underwear dust   5/17/2008

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife

'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would

take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided

that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning

the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the ...


2 Comments, 58 Views, 8 Votes ,6.26 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
COMPLIMENT???   10/24/2006

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, love" she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my chest sags to my waist, my rear is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, ...


1 Comments, 89 Views, 8 Votes ,5.10 Score
faithfullyyours 54 F
18  Articles
Iba ang Pinoy!!!   9/16/2006

Free Haircut
There once was a very good old barber in New York . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you ...


2 Comments, 44 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
Lil_Melon 43 F
51  Articles
Recording what happens exactly when you fall in love   8/26/2006

you change
you become more beautiful, you come to smile more, you tend to love more, and God do you feel more
you see more colors, you see more good, you see more bad, you see more jealousy, you become more sad
you become more sensitive, you become more sick, you become more healthy and you become more strict
you become more of what you hate, but ...


1 Comments, 57 Views, 8 Votes ,4.64 Score
anne23lhei 41 F
8  Articles
Signs that Men are In Love   5/28/2006

You suspect that he loves you, but are not sure? Here are clues to prove that he indeed loves you...

You catch him staring at your eyes. The eyes of men most often reflect what’s welling in their heart. When despite all the women around, it is you he’s staring at, this means that his affection for you runs deep. He stands right next to you in public. Men ...


2 Comments, 103 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
' Views   4/2/2006

were asked about love. Here is what some of them said:
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." Mae, age 9 ...


3 Comments, 219 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
Saint9 113 M
22  Articles
Kwentong Jeepney   2/16/2006

Uuwi ulit akong mag-isa. <br> Haay, salamat naman at uwian na. Kanina pa ako inip na inip umuwi, aba ang hirap atang magpanggap na may ginagawa. Galing ko na ngang matulog ng dilat eh, sakit nga lang sa ulo. Paalis na sana ako ng biglang nag-text yung pinsan ko at hihintayin nya daw ako sa baba ng building para sabay na kaming umuwi. Kaya hayun, nagsinungaling na naman akong ...


2 Comments, 129 Views, 8 Votes ,5.33 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
Online Dating   9/23/2005

and Dad were having quality time as both were admiring how wonderful Mom is. The compliments came to an unexpected question... asks: "Daddy, where did I come from?" Dad says: "Ah, my , I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!" and ponders how to put it in words the lad can understand. "Well, " he finally says, "you see your Mom and I first got ...


0 Comments, 222 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
sexychickpinay 44 F
3  Articles
do you believe in love at first sight? or sex after sight?   12/14/2004

people who goes on seb... is it bad or what? some people if they want their ka eb or type they just throw in their selves AND bang in each others. damn is this what society is now? oh... ive heard lots of people doing the same thing and after seb they sometimes pregnant them. witout using any contraceptives... agre dis-agree? what ever. you should have not done it with someone you dont ...


1 Comments, 123 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
sweetjoan1108 59 F
32  Articles
The preacher buys a parrot.   10/8/2004

A preacher is buying a parrot. "Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell or swear?"asked the preacher. "Oh! absolutely, Its a religious parrot, "the store keeper assures him."Do you see the strings on his legs?When you pull the right one, he will recites the Lords prayer, and when you pull the left, he recites the 23rd Psalms'" "Wonderful!, " says the preacher, "But what happens if you ...


1 Comments, 46 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
ShySagittarian 61 F
11  Articles
Wife vs. Husband   5/20/2008

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws." ...


0 Comments, 72 Views, 7 Votes ,6.10 Score
ShySagittarian 61 F
11  Articles
Amish and Elevators...   5/19/2008

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ", I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it ...


2 Comments, 43 Views, 7 Votes ,6.10 Score
ShySagittarian 61 F
11  Articles
~*AN IRISH LOVE STORY*~   5/19/2008

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he ...



1 Comments, 48 Views, 7 Votes ,6.10 Score
ShySagittarian 61 F
11  Articles
To be 6 again...   5/16/2008

A man was sitting at the edge of the bed, observing his wife looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. "I'd like to be six again, " she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags Theme Park. What ...


1 Comments, 48 Views, 7 Votes ,6.10 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
LOVE FAIRY   3/8/2008

1) Love is a beauty treatment Scientific test find that women make love, they produce amounts of estrogen hormones that can make her hair shines and smooth..

2) Gentle relax love making reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced, cleanses the pores and get your skin glow.

3) Love making can burnt off ...


0 Comments, 50 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
BALLERINA...   4/2/2007

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, ...


0 Comments, 82 Views, 7 Votes ,5.08 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
The Top Ten Reasons   2/25/2007

The Top Ten Reasons
Men Prefer Guns Over Women




#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6. Your ...


2 Comments, 44 Views, 7 Votes ,4.82 Score
Dr. Phil on Obsessions   1/10/2007

Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small . "You all have obsessions, " he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obssessed with eating. You've even named your Candy." He turned to the second mom."Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your 's name, Penny." He turns to the third mom."Your obsession is ...


4 Comments, 68 Views, 7 Votes ,5.59 Score
alexandrea 45 F
15  Articles
ACCEPTING WITHOUT CHANGING   11/24/2005

if you really someone, you have to accept whoever she/he is.whatever it takes.just because someone doesnt love you in the way you want them to, doesnt mean that they dont love you with all they've got.


0 Comments, 124 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES   10/24/2004

Along a highway in Pampanga: "WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE" <br> On a self-service restaurant in Cebu: "PLEASE HELP OUR COMFORT ROOM CLEAN" <br> In a Baguio grocery: "FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE" <br> In Cubao: "NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY" <br> Along Luneta Boulevard: "BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD" <br> On Jeepney and Bus signs: "BEFORE ...


0 Comments, 28 Views, 7 Votes ,5.84 Score
Kamasutrachic 67 F
37  Articles
~~~Secret Love...R~~~   9/3/2004

* * * Secret Lover * * * (kamasutrachic) <br> Secret Love….r? Are you going to be my secret lover? That will fulfill my thirst and hunger…. For lust, for affection, for whatever, That will leave me breathlessly satisfied Every time we’re together? <br> Can you satisfy me? Can you do aerobics without the DVD? Can you ...


1 Comments, 51 Views, 7 Votes ,2.28 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
Joys Of Marriage   6/12/2007

Marriage Part Three

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband get up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either"

and he storm out of the house.After some time he realizes that he was nasty to his wife and decided to make ammends and rings her up. She answer the phone after so many rings, and the irritated husband ...


0 Comments, 132 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
lucky_gal11 35 F
1  Article
Sexy Guy (NOT!!!) :) :)   2/9/2007

You are sooooo SEXY! Your not sexy not to say. i'd have anyone else anyway.



your so fat like everyone else. i'd rather go out with my friend chels.

You getting as big as santa claus. you cant even fit thru the doors.



[COLOR ...


2 Comments, 81 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
bubba100 62 M
13  Articles
What a Woman Wants in a Man ????????????   12/25/2006

What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22) ----------------------------------- 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape 7. Dresses with Style 8. Appreciates the Finer Things 9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises 10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age ...


1 Comments, 48 Views, 6 Votes ,5.64 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.   11/4/2006

1st: How urs look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs?

1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!


0 Comments, 55 Views, 6 Votes ,5.07 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
MILK...   10/1/2006

Milk

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."
Here's an update for you . . . Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
Why?
Because women finally realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig . . . just to get a little sausage. ...


1 Comments, 58 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
BIZARRE LAWS   12/8/2004

Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh." (umm ok, I'm sure the lamb appreciates that one) <br> In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (OK, like THAT ...


0 Comments, 44 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
WHOSE PROPERTY   10/23/2004

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their posed a problem. <br> The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the into this world, she should retain custody of them. <br> The man also wanted custody of his , so the judge asked for his justification. After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair ...


0 Comments, 35 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
sweetjoan1108 59 F
32  Articles
A burglar is in big trouble!   10/8/2004

A burglar has just made it into the house hes intending racksacking and hes looking around for stuff to steal.All of a sudden a little voice pipes up." I can see you and so jesus". Starled, the burglar looked around the room.No one there at all, so he goes back to his business. "I can see you and so can Jesus!, the burglar jumps again and takes a longer look around the room.Over in the ...


0 Comments, 31 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
shygurl4uonly 46 F
7  Articles
Writing Home from College   2/5/2010

One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her , a college student at the University of Illinois. "Why, our is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary."

"You're lucky, " the neighbor said. "Every time we get a letter from our in college, we have to go to the bank!"


1 Comments, 37 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
ART_DIRECTOR 54 M
10  Articles
Painfull words   4/17/2008

Words can be the most painful thing to a person heart and soul. The more emotionally attached we are to that person, the more damage us, can do. Never tell , they are bad, be careful, to tell them that what they are doing is wrong. Separate the action from the person. Same with adults, at work we are given, reports of every little thing, down to our breaks they do not like, at the beginning of ...


0 Comments, 38 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
Joys Of Marriage   6/12/2007

Marriage Part Two

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of there 40th wedding anniversary..

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone, that reads " Here Lies My Wife Cold As Ever, "

Yeah! she replies.." When you die, I am getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband-- Stiff At Last!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT)


1 Comments, 91 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
"what every kiss means"   4/1/2007

Kiss on the stomach = Im ready
~Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever"
~Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything
~Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
~Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
~Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
~Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
~Kiss on the Lips = I love you"

What the gesture means...
~Holding Hands = ...


2 Comments, 66 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
bubba100 62 M
13  Articles
Only In America   1/6/2007

1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do ...


0 Comments, 36 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
I'm glad I'm a man   12/13/2006

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where I want to -- north, south, east or west. I don't get wasted after only 2 beers; and when I do drink I don't end up in tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to wear; I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And I don't ...


0 Comments, 42 Views, 5 Votes ,5.10 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
Why do little boys whine?   10/1/2006

1. Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.

2. Why do only l0% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

3. Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
...


1 Comments, 49 Views, 5 Votes ,5.10 Score
yugituyk 44 M
10  Articles
Goat for Dinner?   6/30/2005

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their what they were having <br> "Goat, " the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth. "Are you sure about that?" "Yep, " said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat ...


0 Comments, 116 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
TCCHN 50 M
146  Articles
MALE SEX TEST   12/8/2004

Gentlemen Please Take the Following TEST <br> 1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as: a) lovemaking b) screwing c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town <br> 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship b) your blood-test results ...


0 Comments, 58 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
sweetjoan1108 59 F
32  Articles
code word for sex   10/25/2004

A husband and a wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their in on it.They decided on the word typewriter. One day the husband told his five years old "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter." The told her mother what her dad said.And her mom responded"Tell your dad that he cant type a letter right now becoz theres ...


0 Comments, 51 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
rajan2006 42 M
58  Articles
LOUD AND CLEAR!!   2/11/2010

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, ...


0 Comments, 25 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
iamtwinkle 52 F
2  Articles
How to Make a Woman Happy   4/4/2009

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer ...


2 Comments, 67 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
JOYS OF MARRIAGE   6/12/2007

Marriage Part Four

A man has 6 and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, " Mother of Six, " in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decide that it is time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother Of ...


3 Comments, 104 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
Never Tick off a Nurse   5/29/2007

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him, but finally even she had had enough. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your ...


3 Comments, 70 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
VOTED Best Short Joke   3/10/2007

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, ", we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280, 000, and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, ", where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him, "I ...


1 Comments, 44 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
Enjoy the Chinese Way.   2/22/2007

A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he - a waiter - is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring, "he says, "I know dis you first time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss ...


1 Comments, 49 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
LIVING WILL   1/22/2007

WHILE I WAS WATCHING SOME SPORTS ON TV ONE WEEKEND, MY WIFE AND I GOT INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, AND THE NEED FOR LIVING WILLS.
DURING THE COURSE OF THE CONVERSATION, I TOLD HER THAT I NEVER WANTED TO EXIST IN A VEGETATIVE STATE, DEPENDENT ON SOME MACHINE, AND TAKING FLUIDS FORM A BOTTLE.
SHE GOT UP, UNPLUGGED THE TV AND THREW OUT ALL MY BEER.
...


0 Comments, 34 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
bubba100 62 M
13  Articles
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...   1/1/2007

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard ...


1 Comments, 53 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
Blind, Blonde & Ballsy...   12/13/2006

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for ...


0 Comments, 26 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
LET'S HAVE A JOKE QUESTION..............   10/15/2006

Whats is the muscle that have lot's of veins and pumping use for making love???? ...


2 Comments, 78 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
bellephoenix 39 F
42  Articles
Cheating...   5/12/2006

Hey fellas! What you gonna do if you caught him/her cheating on you? Forgive and forget or break up with him/her? Tell me... I just want to know your opinions about this.


4 Comments, 158 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
joke time...   3/29/2006

Tarzan & animals went to the river to take a bath. When Tarzan took off his clothes, all animals laughed When Tarzan asked " WHY ? " animals said : " Ur tail is in front! "
.......................
Q: Why do women wear black panties ? A : For the memory of those who got buried inside ! Q: Why do men have to wear white briefs ? A : To pretend that it's pure & never been ...


0 Comments, 113 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
ricardo8in 51 M
1  Article
Make up your Mind   11/10/2005

Tell me, what is it with people these days? Breaking up is a thing of the past, at least a clean break is! I don't see what the hesitation is to depart from the jaws of life(excuse the analagy I used, but come on)get real. Why do people both male and female, I'll be sure to implament both sex, because I don't want to come off as byass. Some people have a problem with separation, I ...


2 Comments, 113 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
leazl28 51 F
36  Articles
THE BAPTIST BRA   7/5/2005

A man walked into the Women's Department of Macy's in New York city. > >He told the saleslady, "I would like a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B." > >With a quizzical look, the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?" He >repeated, "A Baptist bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Baptist >bra and that you would know what she wanted." > >"Ah, ...


0 Comments, 127 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
rajan2006 42 M
58  Articles
Bet !   11/19/2009

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.







After many lengthy discussions (after all, the is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

...


2 Comments, 26 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
lover4life35 55 M
9  Articles
Salary this month ...100 Kisses   7/18/2007

Husband Letter to Wife

Dear Sweetheart:

I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.

You are my sweetheart.

Your husband Allen….

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1.. The Milk man agreed on 2 ...


5 Comments, 81 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
lover4life35 55 M
9  Articles
Replace Husband   7/17/2007

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.

She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the ."

The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, ...


3 Comments, 56 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
Joys Of Marriage   6/12/2007

Marriage Part One

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady.. And after the wedding, the macho man laid down the following rules. He told his wife:

I'll be home when I want, if I want and what time I want..and I don't expect any hassle from you... I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.... I will go hunting, ...


1 Comments, 57 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
JOKE........   5/30/2007

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well, " said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand, " said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because ...


1 Comments, 29 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
Broke Back Deer Camp   5/29/2007

Hahaha ......



Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.

No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. The ...


1 Comments, 26 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
mrs_groovemaster 38 F
4  Articles
MEMORIES   4/25/2007

U CAN NEVER REGAIN SOMETHING U LEFT IN THE PAST.. CHANGE UR FOCUS 2 THE PRESENT INSTEAD OF CLINGING OF 2 SOME MEMORY OF WHAT U ONCE HAD.. MEMORIES ARE NICE, BUT THATS ALL THEY ARE.... ...


3 Comments, 55 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
The Frugal Husband   4/12/2007

A penny-pinching husband regularly imposes his budgetary goals with his wife. It seems that it may, he could never be satisfied. One day on the way home from work, the wife decided not to take the bus so she can impress her hubby by saving a few bucks. She even chased the bus so she can prove that it would take the same time and distance to get home. Surely enough, as soon she arrived at their ...


2 Comments, 70 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
Be Carefull What You Wish For (Including What Others May)   4/9/2007

Three men were stranded on an island. While the other two men seemed responsible family men, the other was just enjoying the company of his new friends. The first two men were beginning to get tiref of the other, cognizant he is just plain stupid. One day, one of them stumbled upon Aladdin's magic lamp. So they rubbed it and the gennie appeared. POOF! Each of them were granted a wish. The ...


2 Comments, 54 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
Golf Balls   3/31/2007

I never like golf, so I don't know what kind or which kind of golf ball to use.My friend invited me to go w/ her to choose the rght ball to use..
She and I were in the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls...
She was unhappy w/ the woman's type she have been using...
After browsing for several minutes, we were approached by one of the good looking gentleman who works ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
bubba100 62 M
13  Articles
Marriage Views   12/30/2006

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then you see what the other fellow has, and you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. ...


1 Comments, 22 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
aninongmalaya 46 M
2  Articles
When Things Work Out Between a Man and a Woman   12/15/2006

For engineers:
- Aerospace engineers fly you to the moon and back. - Chemical engineers work with heat transfer and can make explosive reactions. - Civil engineers build mighty erections. - Communications engineers stay connected. - Computer engineers work with random access. - Design engineers do it in simulation. - Electrical engineers work with raw power. - ...


1 Comments, 29 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
Snow in Caribbean..?!!??!!?   12/3/2006

A lady goes on vacation to the Caribbean. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?" "I can't tell you, " the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he can't tell her.
On her last night there she ...



1 Comments, 54 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
deva_shyne 59 F
331  Articles
BISAYA PUD (VISAYAN LANGGUAGE)   10/5/2006

PLS..... answer this!!!!!!!!!! 1. SA DIHANG NAKITA KITA MI OK OK KA HINUON SA MAY BINTANA....
Answer it by translating in ENGLISH....

2. LET'S EAT DON'T BE SHY FEEL AT HOME...
Answer it by Translating in TAGALOG..
A simple word that makes a filipino proud of.. Thanks




[COLOR ...


1 Comments, 50 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
Bohemyp 57 M
1  Article
A Virgin's Nightmare   9/13/2006

A Virgin's Nightmare Message: A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has ...


1 Comments, 50 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Lil_Melon 43 F
51  Articles
"What Does Love Mean?"   7/23/2006

Adults should take lessons from some of these ! A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds:
"What Does Love Mean?"
The answers they got were broader than anyone could have imagined:
1. "When my grandma got arthritis, she couldnt bend over and paint her toenails anymore, so my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even ...


0 Comments, 109 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
ishika 49 F
3  Articles
HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS !!!!   9/22/2005

This is a very good reminder for all of us. <br> <br> This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, especially your "boss". The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya" : <br> <br> #1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. ...


1 Comments, 122 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
Breaking the Ice...   8/29/2005

A couple of teenagers were at their earliest stage in their relationship. One day, the guy visited, the sense of ackwardness was in the air. Moments later, the young man felt the call of nature in his stomach and gas wanted to let out. But no one in their right mind wouldn't hold that. Then on the other side of the table, the young lady kept sniffling her runny nose up and down her ...


7 Comments, 207 Views, 3 Votes ,0.98 Score
rajan2006 42 M
58  Articles
Make me feel like a woman !   11/21/2009

The passengers on an airliner were shocked when the captain's voice announced that the plane was going to make a crash landing. One lady, upon hearing this dire news, ripped open her blouse and screamed to the man sitting next to her, "Make me feel like a woman!"





The man quickly ripped off his own shirt, handed it to her, and replied, "Okay, iron this!"


1 Comments, 28 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Angel_eyes02 59 F
28  Articles
The Perfect Man   7/31/2007

The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning ...


1 Comments, 33 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
lover4life35 55 M
9  Articles
's Dad   7/17/2007

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin and were tall, while the youngest had black hair, dark eyes and was short.

The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me -- is our youngest my ?"

The wife replied, "I swear on ...


1 Comments, 43 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
Silent Treatment   7/15/2007

A man and his wife were having some problems at home...

And were giving each other the silent treatment...

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife....

To wake him up at 5:00am for an early flight for a business meeting...

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose),

He wrote on a piece of paper.... "Please ...


1 Comments, 56 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
prettychubby26 43 F
2  Articles
LOVE HEARING AID   7/12/2007

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid

. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do, " said ...



1 Comments, 30 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
080481 42 F
1  Article
IN love   3/24/2007

I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame of that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our connection to God and to each other.Among ...


1 Comments, 17 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
twinkle23_2007 59 F
225  Articles
WHO AM I?   2/22/2007

Guess who I am??
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway.
His walk was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer
and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one heck of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob, in ...


1 Comments, 29 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
chocl814 46 F
2  Articles
PICK UP LINES...for those who want to fool around   2/11/2007

1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko.. *** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..
2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola?? *** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..
3. Uy picture tayo!! *** para ma-develop tayo!!
4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot ba kita?? *** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..
5. Can i take your picture?? ...


0 Comments, 37 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
mrs_groovemaster 38 F
4  Articles
RETURN   1/29/2007

GO FOR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU NOT ONLY FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE ITS NEVER WRONG TO LOVE A PERSON WHO BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE BUT IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO COULD LOVE YOU IN RETURN......


3 Comments, 68 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
kupkeyk 51 F
5  Articles
Missing Equation   11/17/2006

Romance can be a lot like buying shoes.
Sometimes, no matter how great a certain style looks, it's just not a great fit on you.
If crucial factor is "missing from the equation", you can't force it.
Let it go....and enjoy on new search....


1 Comments, 43 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
loy312 52 F
12  Articles
SPELL IT OUT!   11/14/2006

In the spirit of love that is true and baduy, here are some L.O.V.E. lines which you should NEVER use....Enjoy!
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
...


0 Comments, 133 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
trisha16 42 F
9  Articles
When a girl misses you...   9/25/2006

When you break a girls heart, she still feels it when you run into eachother 3 years later
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers, "I'm ...


0 Comments, 51 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Saint9 113 M
22  Articles
HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS   6/5/2006

This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, especially your boss. The rules of practicing 'ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya':
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit . Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna .
#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa . Pag ...


0 Comments, 61 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
bellephoenix 39 F
42  Articles
Why do men cheats?   12/20/2005

Guys please don't be offend about this.I just want to ask about this?I want to know why?My cousin really wants to know why?


1 Comments, 182 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
Battle of the Sexes   9/22/2005

Never try to outsmart a woman! There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." <br> <br> And so he got his wife to promise him ...


0 Comments, 126 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
What Bugs You?   9/16/2005

Out of boredom, a man who was in prison for so many years decided to train a cockroach to do tricks, sometimes errands for him. He trained it to do circles and flips with just hand gestures. He even trained it to get cigarettes from nearby prison cells. All of this took so many years of patience and trial and error skills. <br> Finally, the day came that he got paroled. As soon as ...


2 Comments, 104 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
LegallyRomantic 47 M
33  Articles
Love is Like Gambling   9/4/2005

Hi folks, <br> I hardly ever gamble, even if Las Vegas is my old stomping ground, but i reckon I sure share this: <br> "Love is like Texas Hold'em Poker. Chip leader or not, before you push all your chips forward and say, {I'm all in!}, make sure you have the winning hand. Unlike money, no one should go bankrupt in love. It will really take time to earn it all back. ...


4 Comments, 185 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
JustMe02 40 F
2  Articles
laugh w/ own jokes   4/13/2005

a girl spying his boy in order for her to prove that he is true.then she made herself a two-faced woman..then she talk to her boy as his girl and at the same time talk to him as her new friend.then the boy is already busy talking with them. as if he's not talking w/ other, he did his best to reply right away..then it came to the point that the message for the friend is sent to her girl..the ...


1 Comments, 181 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
Soin luv with him...   9/11/2009

I think he is the sweetest man I have ever met in my life, if I was to see my ex-husband now, yes I will marry him again, if only he can forgive me, maybe it's too late for everything but I shouldn't be talking about it too much. I really would like to ask you if you are a man or a woman? I like treating the opposite sex with respect and satisfying them in bed, lots of massaging, kissing and ...


0 Comments, 16 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
2447star 59 F
18  Articles
New Angel Holes   7/9/2008

An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

'Don't worry about that, ' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for the wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
tresss 39 F
19  Articles
love vs relationship   2/19/2008

we ended our so called relationship 4 years both of us hurted each other reasons that till now left unspoken, ,, it was over is it??? then why you day by day checked my profiles then why you posts messages that belongs to us and why do i so, ,, im a liar to say i dont love you coz i do as much as those days your here with me, ,, why do i tremble each timeyou send a smile and why are you still ...


2 Comments, 43 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
rhia01031976 48 F
22  Articles
~~~ WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN ~~~   9/27/2007

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!



HE : Can I buy you a drink? SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. ...


4 Comments, 53 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Angel_eyes02 59 F
28  Articles
breakfast is ready!   9/22/2007

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart, " said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."

"Good, what are we having for breakfast, " said the new husband.

"Toast and juice, " she replied....


1 Comments, 23 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
orchidlady47 52 F
34  Articles
Somalian Immigrant   5/12/2007

A somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States..

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says..

" Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, , giving me housing, ,, food stamps, free medical care and free education", ,

But the passer by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican !"..

The Somalian goes on ...


1 Comments, 52 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
bubba100 62 M
13  Articles
Useful Work Tips   1/23/2007

Here are some incredibly useful phrases you can use when in the workplace...
If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…
If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’…
If you don’t know whether its worth doing, call it an ‘option’…
If you don’t know ...


1 Comments, 16 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
jdeere56 74 M
2  Articles
Do You Like Apples   1/23/2007

Do You Like Apples" Hey again...first thanks for the folks who enjoyed my Lil story about " My Best Friend"...I have recieved a few interresting emails about it to say the least..Most from young lovers. Thats so cool By the Way. The question was pretty much the same..How?..lol...Very simple...make life a game. There's time outs...there's tag your it...and catch me if ya can( which you ...


0 Comments, 38 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Buguy 68 M
1  Article
Pitfalls of an Internet Relationship   1/11/2009

This is a personal observation and di answers based on volumes of research. This also pertains to the male and female sex only..."otherwise" don't count. This is not, I repeat, NOT a cure-all or must learn article...it is but a product of my imagination and you can take it or leave it as you please. No persons were harmed in the making of this article. Kung may ...


4 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes
SunSHineMadz 41 F
12  Articles
4 person in yoUr liFe,hOw maNy HaVe you found   11/7/2007

4 person in your life how many have u found? 1st- urself, 2nd-1 u love most, 3rd-1 who love u most, 4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with. firstly u'll meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels. Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who loves u most. When u've experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, u'll then know what it is u need most. Then u ...


2 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes
pie02271974 50 F
10  Articles
The Bond Between a Mother and a    11/1/2007

The bond between a mother and is the most precious gift of all. It is this unexplainable most fulfilling feeling that only 'that' mother and can share. A mother should never feel they have to stop protecting their . Of course they must let them make their own decisions and let them grow as an individual, but they must never stop protecting or being a guide for their life. A mother knows their ...


1 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
Angel_eyes02 59 F
28  Articles
It's a boy!   9/22/2007

An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced, "It's a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!" ...


1 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
super_kulit 45 M
4  Articles
Life Without Love Is Nothing !!!!!!! says michico999   9/19/2005

This 36-year-old woman from Cavite is one of the latest additions in this group. So as usual, let's give her the warm welcome. <br> Profile for michico999 "im a simple minded person enjoying a simple life with simple dreams!!! <br> Ideal Person: im looking for a sincere, responsible and honest to goodness person who will accept me for what i am...someone who will ...


1 Comments, 118 Views, 0 Votes