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An Expensive Funeral 1/16/2009
Everyone was dismayed that Peter had died.
A popular man, left his wife Moira a strict instructions in his will for his wake to be a jolly and happy
affair: a celebration of his life.
To this end Peter had left 25, 000 pound in his will for the
party.
As the guests caught their taxis at the end of the wake, Moira was asked by her closest friend name Alice, if she ...
0 Comments, 83 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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$20.00 9/13/2008
On their wedding night, the young
bride approached her new husband and asked for a $20.00
for their first sexual encounter. In his highly aroused
state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeatedly each time they made love for
more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way
for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she ...
2 Comments, 89 Views,
10 Votes
,6.17 Score
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Underwear dust 12/25/2008
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim
Fast. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not
amused, and decided
that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning
the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What
the ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
8 Votes
,6.26 Score
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~*AN IRISH LOVE STORY*~ 12/25/2008
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite
scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself
from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom,
and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both
hands, he ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Wife vs. Husband 5/20/2008
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?" "Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Amish and Elevators... 5/20/2008
An Amish boy and his father were visiting
a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby
that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked
his father, "What is this father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
", I have never seen anything like this in my life.
I don't know what it ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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To be 6 again... 5/19/2008
A man was sitting at the edge of the bed, observing his wife
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her
birthday. "I'd like to be six again, " she replied,
still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her
a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags
Theme Park. What ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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LOVE FAIRY 3/8/2008
1) Love is a beauty treatment Scientific test find that women make love, they produce amounts of estrogen hormones that can make her hair shines and smooth..
2) Gentle relax love making reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced, cleanses the pores and get your skin glow.
3) Love making can burnt off ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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Painfull words 5/23/2011
Words can be the most painful thing to a person heart and
soul. The more emotionally attached we are to that person,
the more damage us, can do. Never tell , they are
bad, be careful, to tell them that what they are doing is
wrong. Separate the action from the person. Same with adults,
at work we are given, reports of every little thing, down
to our breaks they do not like, at the beginning of ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Writing Home from College 2/12/2010
One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about
her , a college student at the University of Illinois.
"Why, our is so brilliant, every time we get a letter
from him we have to go to the dictionary."
"You're lucky, " the neighbor said. "Every
time we get a letter from our in college, we have to go
to the bank!"
1 Comments, 37 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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"what every kiss means" 4/14/2009
Kiss on the stomach = Im ready
~Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever"
~Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything
~Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
~Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
~Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
~Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
~Kiss on the Lips = I love you"
What the gesture means...
~Holding Hands = ...
2 Comments, 66 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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LOUD AND CLEAR!! 9/4/2015
A very shy guy goes into a bar
and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour
of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and
asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted
with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No,
I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in
the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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How to Make a Woman Happy 6/26/2009
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Never Tick off a Nurse 1/15/2008
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around
just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted
to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him,
but finally even she had had enough. She came into his room
and announced, "I have to take your ...
3 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Bet ! 2/5/2010
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
...
2 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Salary this month ...100 Kisses 5/26/2009
Husband Letter to Wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart.
Your husband Allen….
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1.. The Milk man agreed on 2 ...
5 Comments, 81 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Replace Husband 11/6/2008
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor
to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked
for a description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark
eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken, and is good to the ."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband
is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, ...
3 Comments, 56 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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JOKE........ 8/3/2007
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the
Director what the criterion was which defined whether
or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well, " said the Director, "we fill
up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket
to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand, " said the visitor. "A
normal person would use the bucket because ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Make me feel like a woman ! 1/19/2010
The passengers on an airliner were shocked when the captain's
voice announced that the plane was going to make a crash
landing. One lady, upon hearing this dire news, ripped open her blouse and screamed to the man sitting next
to her, "Make me feel like a woman!"
The man quickly ripped off his own shirt, handed it to her,
and replied, "Okay, iron this!"
1 Comments, 28 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Battle of the Sexes 3/6/2008
Never try to outsmart a woman!
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all
of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die.
I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with
me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
<br>
<br>
And so he got his wife to promise him ...
0 Comments, 126 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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's Dad 8/3/2007
A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that
the older three had red hair, light skin and were tall, while
the youngest had black hair, dark eyes and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed
when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me --
is our youngest my ?"
The wife replied, "I swear on ...
1 Comments, 43 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Soin luv with him... 9/29/2009
I think he is the sweetest man I have ever met in my life, if
I was to see my ex-husband now, yes I will marry him again,
if only he can forgive me, maybe it's too late for everything
but I shouldn't be talking about it too much. I really
would like to ask you if you are a man or a woman? I like treating
the opposite sex with respect and satisfying them in bed,
lots of massaging, kissing and ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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New Angel Holes 8/3/2008
An old lady dies and goes to heaven.
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling
screams.
'Don't worry about that, ' says St. Peter,
'It's only someone having the holes put into her
shoulder blades for the wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on
with the conversation. ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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love vs relationship 4/15/2008
we ended our so called relationship 4 years both of us hurted
each other reasons that till now left unspoken, ,, it
was over is it??? then why you day by day checked my profiles then why you posts
messages that belongs to us and why do i so, ,, im a liar
to say i dont love you coz i do as much as those days your here
with me, ,, why do i tremble each timeyou send a smile and
why are you still ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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~~~ WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN ~~~ 3/8/2008
WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!
HE : Can I buy you a drink? SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for
a face like yours. SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking
for a face like yours.
HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake
twice. ...
4 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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breakfast is ready! 9/22/2007
"If you'll make
the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart, " said
the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having
for breakfast, " said the new husband.
"Toast and juice, "
she replied....
1 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Pitfalls of an Internet Relationship 1/24/2009
This is a personal observation and di answers
based on volumes of research. This also pertains to the male and female sex only..."otherwise"
don't count. This is not, I repeat, NOT a cure-all or must learn article...it
is but a product of my imagination and you can take it or leave
it as you please. No persons were harmed in the making of this article. Kung
may ...
4 Comments, 73 Views,
0 Votes
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4 person in yoUr liFe,hOw maNy HaVe you found 1/19/2008
4 person in your life how many have u found? 1st- urself,
2nd-1 u love most, 3rd-1 who love u most, 4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with. firstly u'll
meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels. Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who
loves u most. When u've experienced the feeling of
loving others and being loved, u'll then know what
it is u need most. Then u ...
2 Comments, 31 Views,
0 Votes
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The Bond Between a Mother and a 11/26/2007
The bond between a mother and is the most precious
gift of all. It is this unexplainable most fulfilling feeling
that only 'that' mother and can share.
A mother should never feel they have to stop protecting
their . Of course they must let them make their
own decisions and let them grow as an individual, but they
must never stop protecting or being a guide for their life.
A mother knows their ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
0 Votes
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It's a boy! 9/22/2007
An unmarried girl who worked
in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out
big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When
asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new
diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand,
and announced, "It's a boy, six feet tall and
190 pounds!"  ...
1 Comments, 24 Views,
0 Votes
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