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Make up your Mind 11/24/2005
Tell me, what is it with people these days? Breaking up is
a thing of the past, at least a clean break is! I don't
see what the hesitation is to depart from the jaws of life(excuse
the analagy I used, but come on)get real. Why do people both
male and female, I'll be sure to implament both sex,
because I don't want to come off as byass. Some people
have a problem with separation, I ...
2 Comments, 113 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS !!!! 11/20/2005
This is a very good reminder for all of us.
<br>
<br>
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions
towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all
the people around you, especially your "boss".
The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling
kaaya-aya" :
<br>
<br>
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. ...
1 Comments, 122 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Online Dating 10/16/2005
and Dad were having quality time as both were admiring
how wonderful Mom is. The compliments came to an unexpected
question...
asks: "Daddy, where did I come from?"
Dad says: "Ah, my , I guess one day you will need
to find out anyway!" and ponders how to put it in words
the lad can understand.
"Well, " he finally says, "you see your
Mom and I first got ...
0 Comments, 222 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Breaking the Ice... 9/17/2005
A couple of teenagers were at their earliest stage in their
relationship. One day, the guy visited, the sense of ackwardness
was in the air. Moments later, the young man felt the call
of nature in his stomach and gas wanted to let out. But no
one in their right mind wouldn't hold that. Then on
the other side of the table, the young lady kept sniffling
her runny nose up and down her ...
7 Comments, 207 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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Love is Like Gambling 9/16/2005
Hi folks,
<br>
I hardly ever gamble, even if Las Vegas is my old stomping
ground, but i reckon I sure share this:
<br>
"Love is like Texas Hold'em Poker. Chip leader
or not, before you push all your chips forward and say, {I'm
all in!}, make sure you have the winning hand. Unlike money,
no one should go bankrupt in love. It will really take time
to earn it all back. ...
4 Comments, 185 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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What Bugs You? 9/16/2005
Out of boredom, a man who was in prison for so many years decided
to train a cockroach to do tricks, sometimes errands for
him. He trained it to do circles and flips with just hand
gestures. He even trained it to get cigarettes from nearby
prison cells. All of this took so many years of patience
and trial and error skills.
<br>
Finally, the day came that he got paroled. As soon as ...
2 Comments, 104 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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explaination of life 9/4/2005
On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit
all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes
in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The said, "That's too long to be barking.
Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
people, do monkey tricks, ...
1 Comments, 147 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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Blind Date Descriptions 8/9/2005
Most all bachelors have been the victims of a blind date.
Numerous well meaning friends and relatives are always
willing to "fix up" unsuspecting bachelors
with girls whom they describe as "perfect for you."
However, from the description given, it is difficult to
imagine what these girls may be like. After considerable
research, as a public service, here is an attempted to translate
some ...
0 Comments, 607 Views,
56 Votes
,4.62 Score
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THE BAPTIST BRA 7/17/2005
A man walked into the Women's Department of Macy's
in New York city.
>
>He told the saleslady, "I would like a Baptist
bra for my wife, size
36B."
>
>With a quizzical look, the saleslady asked, "What
kind of bra?" He
>repeated, "A Baptist bra. She said to tell you
that she wanted a
Baptist
>bra and that you would know what she wanted."
>
>"Ah, ...
0 Comments, 127 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Wedding night 7/17/2005
The much anticipated wedding night had finally arrived.
When they got to the bed room they started to undress. The
groom took off his socks and the bride let out a little yell
and said honey what happened to your toes?
He looked at her and said, baby when I was a little boy I had
toemonia.
She said don't you mean pneumonia?
He said no, toemonia. It is a rare desease that affects the ...
0 Comments, 316 Views,
14 Votes
,3.30 Score
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untiring love 7/14/2005
Untiring Love
<br>
This is a true story that happened in Japan.
<br>
In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tore open
the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space
between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls,
he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail
from outside was hammered into one of its feet. He saw this,
felt ...
0 Comments, 184 Views,
15 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Goat for Dinner? 7/3/2005
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday
dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal,
the minister asked their what they were having
<br>
"Goat, " the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth.
"Are you sure about that?" "Yep, " said the youngster. "I heard
Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the
old goat ...
0 Comments, 116 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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The three words 6/28/2005
The wife was in the romantic mood as she came home form work
one day...
So she put on a see-through lingerie, and walks into the
livingroom where her husband sits, watching Football.
She walks betwen him and the TV, puts up an enticing figure,
and says:
" tell me the three words that will make me fly"
<br>
.. whereas the husband mutters
" TAKE AN AIRPLANE !!" ----
<br> ...
1 Comments, 205 Views,
10 Votes
,2.19 Score
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The preacher buys a parrot. 5/5/2005
A preacher is buying a parrot.
"Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell or swear?"asked
the preacher.
"Oh! absolutely, Its a religious parrot, "the
store keeper assures him."Do you see the strings
on his legs?When you pull the right one, he will recites
the Lords prayer, and when you pull the left, he recites
the 23rd Psalms'"
"Wonderful!, " says the preacher, "But
what happens if you ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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A girl and a boy 5/5/2005
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said...no.
<br>
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and
he said no.
<br>
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once
again he replied with a no.
<br>
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears were streaming
down her face.
<br>
The boy grabbed her arm and ...
1 Comments, 207 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score
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DON'T TALK TO MY PARROT 5/4/2005
A woman's dishwasher quit working one day so she called
a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she
told the repairman, "I'll
leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the
bill on the
counter, and I'll mail you a check."
<br>
"Oh, and by the way, don't worry about my bulldog.
He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under
ANY ...
1 Comments, 230 Views,
20 Votes
,4.78 Score
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CIA AND THE WOMAN 4/26/2005
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were
three finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test,
the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and
handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow
your instructions, no matter what the circumstances are.
<br>
Inside this room, you will ...
12 Comments, 608 Views,
43 Votes
,5.35 Score
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laugh w/ own jokes 4/13/2005
a girl spying his boy in order for her to prove that he is true.then
she made herself a two-faced woman..then she talk to her
boy as his girl and at the same time talk to him as her new friend.then
the boy is already busy talking with them. as if he's
not talking w/ other, he did his best to reply right away..then
it came to the point that the message for the friend is sent
to her girl..the ...
1 Comments, 181 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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TROPHY GIRLFRIEND 4/10/2005
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows
up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful
and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who
knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex
appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens
intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all
aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask,
"Bob, how'd you get ...
3 Comments, 228 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
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do you believe in love at first sight? or sex after sight? 3/4/2005
people who goes on seb... is it bad or what?
some people if they want their ka eb or type they just throw
in their selves AND bang in each others. damn is this what
society is now? oh... ive heard lots of people doing the
same thing and after seb they sometimes pregnant them.
witout using any contraceptives... agre dis-agree? what
ever. you should have not done it with someone you dont ...
1 Comments, 123 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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Love on the Street 2/22/2005
Such as walking hand to hand, kissing in the rain, dancing
under street light.......
<br>
what reminds you "REAL LOVE" on the street ?
A tree ? a leaf ? a stone ? ..........
<br>
or what is your best memory on street about love ?
<br>
or any fantasy ? imagination ? dream that you wanna live
?
<br>
Yes. i need your feelings about love at the ...
0 Comments, 261 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
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WRONG FUNERAL 2/2/2005
Wrong Funeral
- Author Unknown
<br>
Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of
the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend
- my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer.
The hurt was so intense, I found it hard to breathe at times.
Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my
school plays, held a box of tissues while listening to ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
30 Votes
,6.87 Score
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FORWARDED JOKE: THE DENTIST 1/28/2005
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband
is at work. Her nine-year-old year old comes home unexpectedly,
sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's
husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet,
not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The
little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says,
"Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a ...
1 Comments, 513 Views,
54 Votes
,6.61 Score
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THE BARBER 1/23/2005
There is this good old barber in some city in the United States.
One day a postman goes to him for a haircut. After the cut,
he goes to
pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry.
I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The postman is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes
to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a stamps ...
1 Comments, 293 Views,
43 Votes
,6.49 Score
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HEALTH DIAGNOSIS 1/22/2005
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans.
<br>
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
<br>
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
<br>
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than ...
1 Comments, 271 Views,
26 Votes
,1.95 Score
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HOW WOMEN SEE MEN 1/17/2005
Men are like ...
Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you.
Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
Vacations ..... They never seem to be long enough.
Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.
Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite
sure why
Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, & they usually
head right for your hips.
Commercials ...
1 Comments, 188 Views,
16 Votes
,1.22 Score
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ALCOHOL WARNING LABEL 1/15/2005
Due to increasing product liability litigation, alcohol
manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's
suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all alcohol containers/bottles:
<br>
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.
<br>
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing ...
2 Comments, 188 Views,
15 Votes
,2.06 Score
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BODY TRADE BACK 12/27/2004
A man was sick and tired of going to work everyday while his
wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through
so he prayed: "Dear Lord, I go to work everday and put
in eight hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want
her to know what I go through so please allow her body to switch
with mine for a day. Amen." God, in his infinite wisdom,
granted the man's wish.
<br> ...
4 Comments, 272 Views,
30 Votes
,4.91 Score
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MODERN TIMES 12/21/2004
You know you're living in the modern age when . . .
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
<br>
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in
years.
<br>
3. You have a list of 15 to reach your family
of 3.
<br>
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
<br>
5. Your reason for not staying in touch ...
1 Comments, 153 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
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SAVING MONEY 12/21/2004
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist`s office.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple
finished, the doctor said, "There`s nothing wrong
with the way you have intercourse, " and charged
them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make
an ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
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