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HAVE A LAUGH... 2/25/2007
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill
his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.The professor passed out
a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square
was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs. No bodies,
no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify
the birds from their legs. The ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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SF Chronicle-The Whale 2/25/2007
The Whale
If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle,
you would have read about a female humpback whale
who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps
and lines.
She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that
caused
her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of
yards of
line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her ...
0 Comments, 9 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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WHO AM I? 2/22/2007
Guess who I am??
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood
on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars
were in the driveway.
His walk was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out
with a load of empty beer
and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys
had one heck of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob, in ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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CONFESSION... 2/22/2007
ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with
a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to
ruin her reputation." "Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner
or later, so you may as well tell me now.
"Was ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Enjoy the Chinese Way. 2/22/2007
A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth
be told, he - a waiter - is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets
as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries
to be reassuring. "My darring, "he says, "I
know dis you first time and you berry frighten. I pomise
you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss ...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Ole blue -- funneee!! 2/22/2007
A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of
the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money
his parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad, " he says, "you won't believe
the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why,
they actually have a program here at college that will teach
our Ole Blue how to talk!"
...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Sunday Humour.. 2/22/2007
Maria a beautiful Latino fell in love with Jose. She planned
to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans,
she decided to tell her papa. Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another boyfriend.
Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is your half-brother"
.
So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry
Ricardo. But after telling papa again, he said, ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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SECRET... 2/22/2007
The secret of contentment is knowing
how to enjoy what you have and to be able to lose all desire
for things beyond your reach. Let's not be materialistics,
we good in looking....
0 Comments, 20 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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smart 2/20/2007
while i was in line at the bank one afternoon a decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
finally the mother was able to grab hold of her after receiving look of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons.
mother told the that if she did not start behaving
herself rght away she would be punished..
the look at her mother's eyes and said in a voice
just as threatening, ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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snow prediction 2/20/2007
a very embarrassed female news anchor who will in the future
, likely think before she speak. what happen when u predict snow but dont get any! a female news anchor, that the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turn to the weather man and asked, " so Bob, where is that 8 inches you promised me last
night?" not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did
too , they ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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not tonight honey 2/19/2007
One night a man rolls over in bed, giving his wife a big grin.
She says "NOt tonight honey, I have a gynecologist's
appointment tomorrow,
I want to stay fresh and clean"
The man, feeling rejected, rolls over and tries to go to
sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls over again and ask his wife
"Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow?"
3 Comments, 118 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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Prosti helps stronger marriage relatioship 2/11/2007
my idea about is very disgusting yet we cant
deny the fact that it thus exist knowing its human seling
body to service. one thing we dont know that it helps stronger
the marriage relatioship now a days. f one partner is unable
to do the partner job as ??? they need prosti just to satisfy
the sensual side of the partner but yet the love is stil at
his partner. do sounds crazy and weird but ...
0 Comments, 21 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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PICK UP LINES...for those who want to fool around 2/11/2007
1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..
2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..
3. Uy picture tayo!!
*** para ma-develop tayo!!
4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot
ba kita??
*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..
5. Can i take your picture??
...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Sexy Guy (NOT!!!) :) :) 2/9/2007
You are sooooo SEXY!
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd rather go out with my friend chels.
You getting as big as santa claus.
you cant even fit thru the doors.
[COLOR ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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You are sooooo SEXY! 2/2/2007
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd rather go out with my friend chels.
You getting as big as santa claus.
you cant even fit thru the doors.
all day long you fill up on beer.
i'm sorry to say goodbye dear....
0 Comments, 32 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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No title 1/30/2007
Housework was a woman's job...but one evening, Jenny
arrived from work to find the bathed, one load
of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.
Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!
It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives
who work full-time and had to do their own housework were
too tired to have \bsexo?\b.
...
0 Comments, 21 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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RETURN 1/29/2007
GO FOR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU
NOT ONLY FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE ITS NEVER WRONG TO LOVE A PERSON
WHO BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE
BUT IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO COULD LOVE YOU
IN RETURN......
3 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Useful Work Tips 1/23/2007
Here are some incredibly useful phrases you can use when
in the workplace...
If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…
If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’…
If you don’t know whether its worth doing, call it an ‘option’…
If you don’t know ...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Do You Like Apples 1/23/2007
Do You Like Apples"
Hey again...first thanks for the folks who enjoyed my Lil
story about " My Best Friend"...I have recieved
a few interresting emails about it to say the least..Most
from young lovers. Thats so cool By the Way. The question
was pretty much the same..How?..lol...Very simple...make
life a game. There's time outs...there's tag
your it...and catch me if ya can( which you ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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LIVING WILL 1/22/2007
WHILE I WAS WATCHING SOME SPORTS ON TV ONE WEEKEND, MY WIFE
AND I GOT INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, AND THE
NEED FOR LIVING WILLS.
DURING THE COURSE OF THE CONVERSATION, I TOLD HER THAT I
NEVER WANTED TO EXIST IN A VEGETATIVE STATE, DEPENDENT
ON SOME MACHINE, AND TAKING FLUIDS FORM A BOTTLE.
SHE GOT UP, UNPLUGGED THE TV AND THREW OUT ALL MY BEER.
...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Birthday Wish 1/20/2007
Man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife
turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd
like to have for her birthday.
"I'd like to be six again." she replied
still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her
a nice big bowl of lucky charms and then ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Reasons to stay at work all night... 1/15/2007
1. Act out your version of a company takeover.
2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”.
3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still
on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a
small woodland creature.
4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected
promotion.
5. ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Dr. Phil on Obsessions 1/10/2007
Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four
young mothers and their small . "You all
have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obssessed with
eating. You've even named your Candy."
He turned to the second mom."Your obsession is with
money. Again, it manifests itself in your 's
name, Penny."
He turns to the third mom."Your obsession is ...
4 Comments, 68 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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Only In America 1/6/2007
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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DREAMS... 1/6/2007
One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom,
how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling,
but when I look in your room you're on top of each other?"
His mother , very surprised, replies; "Honey you
know how fat daddy is, I'm jumping on top of him to help
him lose weight".
The boy knows that's not working and tells his mother
why...
...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk... 1/1/2007
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in
that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably
got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission
statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard ...
1 Comments, 53 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Marriage Views 12/30/2006
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, then you see what
the other fellow has, and you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. ...
1 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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COLLEGE FINAL 12/30/2006
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking
Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes,
midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A"
so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before
finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia
and party with some friends there. They had a great time,
but after all ...
0 Comments, 78 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Burger King 12/30/2006
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
Answer:
Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper. ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Lightning Storm... 12/30/2006
Why do blondes smile when
there's lightning?
Answer:
Because they think they're getting their picture
taken!
0 Comments, 50 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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