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A burglar is in big trouble! 1/27/2007
A burglar has just made it into the house hes intending racksacking
and hes looking around for stuff to steal.All of a sudden
a little voice pipes up." I can see you and so jesus".
Starled, the burglar looked around the room.No one there
at all, so he goes back to his business.
"I can see you and so can Jesus!, the burglar jumps
again and takes a longer look around the room.Over in the ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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Do You Like Apples 1/25/2007
Do You Like Apples"
Hey again...first thanks for the folks who enjoyed my Lil
story about " My Best Friend"...I have recieved
a few interresting emails about it to say the least..Most
from young lovers. Thats so cool By the Way. The question
was pretty much the same..How?..lol...Very simple...make
life a game. There's time outs...there's tag
your it...and catch me if ya can( which you ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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The Brown Suit 1/25/2007
A woman came to the funeral parlor to see her husband corpse."You
did a good job", she said to the undertaker."he
looks just the way he always looked, except for one thing.My
husband always wore a brown suit, but you have him dressed
in a blue suit."
"That is no problem, " said the undertaker, "We
can easily change it".
When she returned later, her husband was wearing a brown
suit."Now ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
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WHOSE PROPERTY 1/25/2007
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody
of their posed a problem.
<br>
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge
that since she brought the into this world, she
should retain custody of them.
<br>
The man also wanted custody of his , so the judge
asked for his justification. After a long silence, the
man slowly rose from his chair ...
0 Comments, 35 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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code word for sex 1/24/2007
A husband and a wife decided they needed to use "code"
to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting
their in on it.They decided on the word typewriter.
One day the husband told his five years old "Go
tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter."
The told her mother what her dad said.And her mom responded"Tell
your dad that he cant type a letter right now becoz theres ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Galing Talaga Ng Pinoy 1/24/2007
1) A couple placed an ad, "Have 4 sons, need advice
on how to have a ." Yank: Keep trying! Briton:
Change doctor! Aussie: Follow a special diet. Indian:
Practice Yoga! Pinoy: LET ME TRY! 2) Population policies
of countries: China: Stop at 1 . Singapore: Stop at
2 Philippines: STOP AT 4 A.M.! 3) Ano kadalasan
ang sinasabi kapag nautot? American: Excuse me. British:
Pardon me. Pinoy: NOT ...
0 Comments, 121 Views,
23 Votes
,6.63 Score
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LIVING WILL 1/23/2007
WHILE I WAS WATCHING SOME SPORTS ON TV ONE WEEKEND, MY WIFE
AND I GOT INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, AND THE
NEED FOR LIVING WILLS.
DURING THE COURSE OF THE CONVERSATION, I TOLD HER THAT I
NEVER WANTED TO EXIST IN A VEGETATIVE STATE, DEPENDENT
ON SOME MACHINE, AND TAKING FLUIDS FORM A BOTTLE.
SHE GOT UP, UNPLUGGED THE TV AND THREW OUT ALL MY BEER.
...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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MGA ARAL KINA INAY AT ITAY 1/17/2007
TANDANG TANDA NAMIN NI KUYA ANG SAYA AT LUMBAY SA PODER NILA
INAY AT ITAY...LALO NA ANG MGA MAGAGANDANG LEKSYON NA NATUTUNAN
NAMIN SA KANILA!
<br>
1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako ng HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE.
"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa
labas. Mga punyeta kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."
<br>
2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay.
"Kapag yang ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
9 Votes
,5.78 Score
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ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES 1/17/2007
Along a highway in Pampanga:
"WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"
<br>
On a self-service restaurant in Cebu:
"PLEASE HELP OUR COMFORT ROOM CLEAN"
<br>
In a Baguio grocery:
"FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"
<br>
In Cubao:
"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"
<br>
Along Luneta Boulevard:
"BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD"
<br>
On Jeepney and Bus signs:
"BEFORE ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
7 Votes
,5.84 Score
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Dr. Phil on Obsessions 1/14/2007
Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four
young mothers and their small . "You all
have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obssessed with
eating. You've even named your Candy."
He turned to the second mom."Your obsession is with
money. Again, it manifests itself in your 's
name, Penny."
He turns to the third mom."Your obsession is ...
4 Comments, 68 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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Kwentong Jeepney 1/13/2007
Uuwi ulit akong mag-isa.
<br>
Haay, salamat naman at uwian na. Kanina pa ako inip na inip
umuwi, aba
ang hirap atang magpanggap na may ginagawa. Galing ko na
ngang matulog
ng dilat eh, sakit nga lang sa ulo. Paalis na sana ako ng biglang
nag-text yung pinsan ko at hihintayin nya daw ako sa baba
ng building
para sabay na kaming umuwi. Kaya hayun, nagsinungaling
na naman akong ...
2 Comments, 129 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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When Things Work Out Between a Man and a Woman 1/7/2007
For engineers:
- Aerospace engineers fly you to the moon and back.
- Chemical engineers work with heat transfer and can make
explosive reactions.
- Civil engineers build mighty erections.
- Communications engineers stay connected.
- Computer engineers work with random access.
- Design engineers do it in simulation.
- Electrical engineers work with raw power.
- ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Only In America 1/7/2007
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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Passing The Finals 1/2/2007
Two guys were taking chemistry at the University of Louisville.
They did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, and
labs, and had a solid "A" going into the final.
They were so confident that the weekend before finals (the
chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to
the University of Kentucky and party with some friends.
They had a great time, however, they ...
4 Comments, 234 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Marriage Views 1/1/2007
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, then you see what
the other fellow has, and you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. ...
1 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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What a Woman Wants in a Man ???????????? 12/29/2006
What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
-----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
6 Votes
,5.64 Score
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Blind, Blonde & Ballsy... 12/20/2006
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says,
"Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm
blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler
and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting
over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde
joke?"
The blind man is silent for ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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I'm glad I'm a man 12/20/2006
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't
live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't
bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can
get where I want to -- north, south, east or west. I don't
get wasted after only 2 beers; and when I do drink I don't
end up in tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to
wear; I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And I don't ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
5 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Missing Equation 12/17/2006
Romance can be a lot like buying shoes.
Sometimes, no matter how great a certain style looks, it's
just not a great fit on you.
If crucial factor is "missing from the equation", you can't force it.
Let it go....and enjoy on new search....
1 Comments, 43 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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SPELL IT OUT! 11/25/2006
In the spirit of love that is true and baduy, here
are some L.O.V.E. lines which you should NEVER use....Enjoy!
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
...
0 Comments, 133 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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' Views 11/13/2006
were asked about love. Here is what some of them
said:
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody
else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something
to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant
are so popular." Mae, age 9 ...
3 Comments, 219 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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BMW Engineer Dies! ( goes to heaven) 11/13/2006
An engineer, of the BMW Motorrad Corporation died and went
to heaven.
At the gates St. Peter told him, "Since you've
been such a good man and
your motorbikes have changed the world,
your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven".
The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said,
"I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took
him to ...
3 Comments, 212 Views,
18 Votes
,6.13 Score
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LET'S HAVE A JOKE QUESTION.............. 11/8/2006
Whats is the muscle that have lot's of veins and pumping
use for making love???? ...
2 Comments, 78 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives. 11/7/2006
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt
urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!
0 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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BISAYA PUD (VISAYAN LANGGUAGE) 11/5/2006
PLS..... answer this!!!!!!!!!!
1.
SA DIHANG NAKITA KITA MI OK OK KA HINUON SA MAY BINTANA....
Answer it by translating in ENGLISH....
2.
LET'S EAT DON'T BE SHY FEEL AT HOME...
Answer it by Translating in TAGALOG..
A simple word that makes a filipino proud of.. Thanks
[COLOR ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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SAILOR.... 10/29/2006
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for
the docks
once more for old times sake.
He engages a and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age,
but needing some reassurance, he asks,
"How am I doing?"
The replies, "Well old sailor, you're
doing about three knots."
"Three knots?" he asks, "What's
...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
9 Votes
,5.78 Score
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COMPLIMENT??? 10/29/2006
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is
standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard
look at herself.
"You know, love" she says, "I look in the
mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my
chest sags to my waist, my rear is hanging out a mile. I've
got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, ...
1 Comments, 89 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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The Bravest Man 10/28/2006
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday.
During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces
to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has
a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across
that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, ...
1 Comments, 200 Views,
17 Votes
,4.26 Score
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Impossible to Please 10/26/2006
A group of girlfriends is on vacation
when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For
Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends
and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how
it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and
once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there.
It's ...
1 Comments, 118 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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$5,000.00 10/19/2006
A man and his ever-nagging wife went
on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife
passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You
can have her shipped home for $5, 000, or you can bury her
here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought
about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5, ...
2 Comments, 120 Views,
20 Votes
,4.78 Score
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