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LOVE HEARING AID 8/3/2007
A man feared his wife wasn't
hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid
. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do, " said ...
1 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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The Perfect Man 7/31/2007
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes
And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning ...
1 Comments, 33 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Silent Treatment 7/31/2007
A man and his wife were having some problems at home...
And were giving each other the silent treatment...
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need
his wife....
To wake him up at 5:00am for an early flight for a business meeting...
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose),
He wrote on a piece of paper.... "Please ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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candy and nuts 7/21/2007
my friend and i were walking at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.. as we were looking at the dispaly case, the boy behind the counter asked, if we needed help.. I replied,
"no i'm just looking at ur nuts", my friend
started to laughed hyterically, and the boy grinned and i was turned beet red and walk away... never forget the look of the boy's face while ...
3 Comments, 366 Views,
14 Votes
,1.86 Score
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not tonight honey 7/17/2007
One night a man rolls over in bed, giving his wife a big grin.
She says "NOt tonight honey, I have a gynecologist's
appointment tomorrow,
I want to stay fresh and clean"
The man, feeling rejected, rolls over and tries to go to
sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls over again and ask his wife
"Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow?"
3 Comments, 118 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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Joys Of Marriage 7/16/2007
Marriage Part Two
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of there
40th wedding anniversary..
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone, that
reads " Here Lies My Wife Cold As Ever, "
Yeah! she replies.." When you die, I am getting you
a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband-- Stiff At Last!"
(HE ASKED FOR IT)
1 Comments, 91 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Joys Of Marriage 7/10/2007
Marriage Part Three
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table.
Husband get up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either"
and he storm out of the house.After some time he realizes that he was nasty to his wife and decided to make
ammends and rings her up. She answer the phone after so many rings, and the irritated
husband ...
0 Comments, 132 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Somalian Immigrant 6/28/2007
A somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to
the United States..
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street
and says..
" Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, ,
giving me housing, ,, food stamps, free medical care
and free education", ,
But the passer by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican
!"..
The Somalian goes on ...
1 Comments, 52 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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JOYS OF MARRIAGE 6/27/2007
Marriage Part Four
A man has 6 and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
" Mother of Six, " in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decide that it is time
to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave
as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother Of ...
3 Comments, 104 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Joys Of Marriage 6/23/2007
Marriage Part One
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady..
And after the wedding, the macho man laid down the following
rules. He told his wife:
I'll be home when I want, if I want and what time I want..and
I don't expect any hassle from you... I expect a great
dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't
be home for dinner.... I will go hunting, ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Snow in Caribbean..?!!??!!? 6/12/2007
A lady goes on vacation to the Caribbean.
Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of
passionate love making she asks him, "What is your
name?"
"I can't tell you, " the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again
what his name is and he always responds the same, he can't
tell her.
On her last night there she ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Broke Back Deer Camp 5/31/2007
Hahaha ......
Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay
with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The
first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next
morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
The ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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MEMORIES 5/24/2007
U CAN NEVER REGAIN SOMETHING U LEFT IN THE PAST.. CHANGE
UR FOCUS 2 THE PRESENT INSTEAD OF CLINGING OF 2 SOME MEMORY
OF WHAT U ONCE HAD.. MEMORIES ARE NICE, BUT THATS ALL THEY
ARE.... ...
3 Comments, 55 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Golf Balls 4/23/2007
I never like golf, so I don't know what kind or which
kind of golf ball to use.My friend invited me to go w/ her
to choose the rght ball to use..
She and I were in the golf store comparing different kinds
of golf balls...
She was unhappy w/ the woman's type she have been using...
After browsing for several minutes, we were approached
by one of the good looking gentleman who works ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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The Frugal Husband 4/14/2007
A penny-pinching husband regularly imposes his budgetary
goals with his wife. It seems that it may, he could never
be satisfied. One day on the way home from work, the wife
decided not to take the bus so she can impress her hubby by
saving a few bucks. She even chased the bus so she can prove
that it would take the same time and distance to get home.
Surely enough, as soon she arrived at their ...
2 Comments, 70 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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RETURN 4/14/2007
GO FOR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU
NOT ONLY FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE ITS NEVER WRONG TO LOVE A PERSON
WHO BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE
BUT IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO COULD LOVE YOU
IN RETURN......
3 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Be Carefull What You Wish For (Including What Others May) 4/12/2007
Three men were stranded on an island. While the other two
men seemed responsible family men, the other was just enjoying
the company of his new friends. The first two men were beginning
to get tiref of the other, cognizant he is just plain stupid.
One day, one of them stumbled upon Aladdin's magic
lamp. So they rubbed it and the gennie appeared. POOF! Each
of them were granted a wish. The ...
2 Comments, 54 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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The Top Ten Reasons 4/12/2007
The Top Ten Reasons
Men Prefer Guns Over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when
you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will
probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another
gun for a backup.
#6. Your ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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BALLERINA... 4/10/2007
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into
a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge,
hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at
the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But
down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his
hand down on the counter and bellowed, ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
7 Votes
,5.08 Score
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IN love 4/10/2007
I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything
other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in
a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help.
There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It
is the common fiber of life, the flame of that heats our soul,
energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives.
It is our connection to God and to each other.Among ...
1 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Sexy Guy (NOT!!!) :) :) 4/5/2007
You are sooooo SEXY!
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd rather go out with my friend chels.
You getting as big as santa claus.
you cant even fit thru the doors.
[COLOR ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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A Man's Guide to PMS 3/23/2007
Folks,
<br>
I couldn't help not sharing this from my female best
friend (thank you cdl107!). As a wine connoisseur, she
loved this one...
<br>
=======================================
<br>
A Man's Guide to PMS
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month
when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life
in his own hands!
...
3 Comments, 298 Views,
11 Votes
,1.67 Score
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VOTED Best Short Joke 3/10/2007
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, ", we'd give you one, but
the mortgage on this house is $280, 000, and your mother
just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the
front door with a suitcase. So he asked, ", where
are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Enjoy the Chinese Way. 2/22/2007
A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth
be told, he - a waiter - is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets
as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries
to be reassuring. "My darring, "he says, "I
know dis you first time and you berry frighten. I pomise
you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss ...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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WHO AM I? 2/22/2007
Guess who I am??
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood
on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars
were in the driveway.
His walk was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out
with a load of empty beer
and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys
had one heck of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob, in ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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A NAMED SEX 2/13/2007
Everybody who has a calls him "Rover" or
"Boy." I call mine "Sex." He's
a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
<br>
When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the
clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd
like one, too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog."
He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said,
"You don't understand. ...
0 Comments, 102 Views,
41 Votes
,7.71 Score
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PICK UP LINES...for those who want to fool around 2/13/2007
1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..
2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..
3. Uy picture tayo!!
*** para ma-develop tayo!!
4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot
ba kita??
*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..
5. Can i take your picture??
...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk... 2/1/2007
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in
that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably
got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission
statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard ...
1 Comments, 53 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Useful Work Tips 1/28/2007
Here are some incredibly useful phrases you can use when
in the workplace...
If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…
If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’…
If you don’t know whether its worth doing, call it an ‘option’…
If you don’t know ...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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What A Married Man Should Be 1/27/2007
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
<br>
He forces himself to open his eyes ... and the first thing
he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the
side table.
<br>
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him ... all
clean and pressed.
<br>
Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect
order ... spotless ... clean.
...
0 Comments, 100 Views,
31 Votes
,7.46 Score
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