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Learn to laugh at yourself 12/16/2013
I know this may sound a bit cliche, but if you fall in love
with someone, then find out you don't like them, it
ends in disaster. My ex's sister asked me if this is
my real hair. Instead of getting offended, I just said, "
Yeah, you really don't think that I'd pay for hair
that looks like this, do you?" So you just laugh it
off, you learn to laugh at yourself, and people eventually
see that ...
0 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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LOUD AND CLEAR!! 2/11/2010
A very shy guy goes into a bar
and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour
of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and
asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted
with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No,
I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in
the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Hot Day!! 2/11/2010
"It's just too
hot to wear clothes today, " Jack says as he steps
out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors
would think if I moved the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money, "
she replied. ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
0 Votes
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Prayer for all girls !! 2/11/2010
Now I lay me down to sleep I
pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no grey
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear GOD, For all that you've done. ...
0 Comments, 8 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Writing Home from College 2/5/2010
One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about
her , a college student at the University of Illinois.
"Why, our is so brilliant, every time we get a letter
from him we have to go to the dictionary."
"You're lucky, " the neighbor said. "Every
time we get a letter from our in college, we have to go
to the bank!"
1 Comments, 37 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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The Church Plaque 2/5/2010
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was
staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the
church. The seven-year- old had been staring at the plaque
for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the
boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, ."
"Good morning pastor" replied the young man,
focused on the plaque.
"Sir, what is this?" Little Johnny ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Spelling Difficulties 2/5/2010
The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson,
each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father
does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to
us. All right, Billy. You go first."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My
father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people
in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Benjamin." ...
0 Comments, 33 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Who is better? Men or Women??? 1/10/2010
Women: A wife was not at home for a whole
night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband
that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over
night as her car broke down. The husband having his doubt's
calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and none of them confirm
that she was there.
Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells
his wife the very ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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A tower and cockpit conversation ! 11/27/2009
The following was taken from real, taped
conversations between Tower and Cockpit.
Pilot: "Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo
ILS 16" Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, good day,
runway 16 is available, Wind is calm, and, by the way, this is Vienna Tower."
Pilot: "Please confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?"
Tower: "Trust me, this is Vienna" Pilot: "Why
Vienna? We are ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Make me feel like a woman ! 11/21/2009
The passengers on an airliner were shocked when the captain's
voice announced that the plane was going to make a crash
landing. One lady, upon hearing this dire news, ripped open her blouse and screamed to the man sitting next
to her, "Make me feel like a woman!"
The man quickly ripped off his own shirt, handed it to her,
and replied, "Okay, iron this!"
1 Comments, 28 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Bet ! 11/19/2009
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
...
2 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Soin luv with him... 9/11/2009
I think he is the sweetest man I have ever met in my life, if
I was to see my ex-husband now, yes I will marry him again,
if only he can forgive me, maybe it's too late for everything
but I shouldn't be talking about it too much. I really
would like to ask you if you are a man or a woman? I like treating
the opposite sex with respect and satisfying them in bed,
lots of massaging, kissing and ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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How to Make a Woman Happy 4/4/2009
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Good Friends ! 3/19/2009
Two men from Barnsley(England)on holiday
in Canada hired a pilot to fly them to the wilds of Alberta to hunt moose.
They managed to shoot six and as they were loading the plane
to return, the pilot said the plane could only take four
moose. Both guys argued that theyed shot six last year and
the pilot let them take them all on board, and it was exactly the same
plane as this one. ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Pitfalls of an Internet Relationship 1/11/2009
This is a personal observation and di answers
based on volumes of research. This also pertains to the male and female sex only..."otherwise"
don't count. This is not, I repeat, NOT a cure-all or must learn article...it
is but a product of my imagination and you can take it or leave
it as you please. No persons were harmed in the making of this article. Kung
may ...
4 Comments, 73 Views,
0 Votes
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An Expensive Funeral 11/18/2008
Everyone was dismayed that Peter had died.
A popular man, left his wife Moira a strict instructions in his will for his wake to be a jolly and happy
affair: a celebration of his life.
To this end Peter had left 25, 000 pound in his will for the
party.
As the guests caught their taxis at the end of the wake, Moira was asked by her closest friend name Alice, if she ...
0 Comments, 83 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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New Angel Holes 7/9/2008
An old lady dies and goes to heaven.
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling
screams.
'Don't worry about that, ' says St. Peter,
'It's only someone having the holes put into her
shoulder blades for the wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on
with the conversation. ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Wife vs. Husband 5/20/2008
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?" "Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Cigarettes and Tampoons 5/20/2008
A man walks into a pharmacy and
wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his
wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls
and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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^^Womens Revenge^^ 5/20/2008
"Cash, check or charge?"
I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control
for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No, " she replied, "but my husband refused
to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally." ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
5 Votes
,5.75 Score
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***How to tell a sex of a fly*** 5/20/2008
A woman walked into the kitchen
to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?' She asked.
'Hunting Flies' He responded.
'Oh. ! Killing any?' She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females, ' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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~*~*~A Canadian Christmas~*~* 5/20/2008
A man in Newfoundland calls his
in Calgary two days before Christmas and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery
is enough.
'Pop, what are you talking about?' the screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, '
the father says. 'We're sick of each other, and ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Amish and Elevators... 5/19/2008
An Amish boy and his father were visiting
a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby
that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked
his father, "What is this father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
", I have never seen anything like this in my life.
I don't know what it ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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$20.00 5/19/2008
On their wedding night, the young
bride approached her new husband and asked for a $20.00
for their first sexual encounter. In his highly aroused
state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeatedly each time they made love for
more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way
for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she ...
2 Comments, 89 Views,
10 Votes
,6.17 Score
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~*AN IRISH LOVE STORY*~ 5/19/2008
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite
scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself
from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom,
and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both
hands, he ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Underwear dust 5/17/2008
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim
Fast. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not
amused, and decided
that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning
the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What
the ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
8 Votes
,6.26 Score
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To be 6 again... 5/16/2008
A man was sitting at the edge of the bed, observing his wife
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her
birthday. "I'd like to be six again, " she replied,
still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her
a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags
Theme Park. What ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Painfull words 4/17/2008
Words can be the most painful thing to a person heart and
soul. The more emotionally attached we are to that person,
the more damage us, can do. Never tell , they are
bad, be careful, to tell them that what they are doing is
wrong. Separate the action from the person. Same with adults,
at work we are given, reports of every little thing, down
to our breaks they do not like, at the beginning of ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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LOVE FAIRY 3/8/2008
1) Love is a beauty treatment Scientific test find that women make love, they produce amounts of estrogen hormones that can make her hair shines and smooth..
2) Gentle relax love making reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced, cleanses the pores and get your skin glow.
3) Love making can burnt off ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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love vs relationship 2/19/2008
we ended our so called relationship 4 years both of us hurted
each other reasons that till now left unspoken, ,, it
was over is it??? then why you day by day checked my profiles then why you posts
messages that belongs to us and why do i so, ,, im a liar
to say i dont love you coz i do as much as those days your here
with me, ,, why do i tremble each timeyou send a smile and
why are you still ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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