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Learn to laugh at yourself 12/16/2013
I know this may sound a bit cliche, but if you fall in love
with someone, then find out you don't like them, it
ends in disaster. My ex's sister asked me if this is
my real hair. Instead of getting offended, I just said, "
Yeah, you really don't think that I'd pay for hair
that looks like this, do you?" So you just laugh it
off, you learn to laugh at yourself, and people eventually
see that ...
0 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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LOUD AND CLEAR!! 2/11/2010
A very shy guy goes into a bar
and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour
of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and
asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted
with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No,
I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in
the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Hot Day!! 2/11/2010
"It's just too
hot to wear clothes today, " Jack says as he steps
out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors
would think if I moved the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money, "
she replied. ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
0 Votes
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Prayer for all girls !! 2/11/2010
Now I lay me down to sleep I
pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no grey
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear GOD, For all that you've done. ...
0 Comments, 8 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Writing Home from College 2/5/2010
One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about
her , a college student at the University of Illinois.
"Why, our is so brilliant, every time we get a letter
from him we have to go to the dictionary."
"You're lucky, " the neighbor said. "Every
time we get a letter from our in college, we have to go
to the bank!"
1 Comments, 37 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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The Church Plaque 2/5/2010
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was
staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the
church. The seven-year- old had been staring at the plaque
for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the
boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, ."
"Good morning pastor" replied the young man,
focused on the plaque.
"Sir, what is this?" Little Johnny ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Spelling Difficulties 2/5/2010
The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson,
each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father
does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to
us. All right, Billy. You go first."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My
father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people
in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Benjamin." ...
0 Comments, 33 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Who is better? Men or Women??? 1/10/2010
Women: A wife was not at home for a whole
night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband
that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over
night as her car broke down. The husband having his doubt's
calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and none of them confirm
that she was there.
Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells
his wife the very ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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A tower and cockpit conversation ! 11/27/2009
The following was taken from real, taped
conversations between Tower and Cockpit.
Pilot: "Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo
ILS 16" Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, good day,
runway 16 is available, Wind is calm, and, by the way, this is Vienna Tower."
Pilot: "Please confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?"
Tower: "Trust me, this is Vienna" Pilot: "Why
Vienna? We are ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Make me feel like a woman ! 11/21/2009
The passengers on an airliner were shocked when the captain's
voice announced that the plane was going to make a crash
landing. One lady, upon hearing this dire news, ripped open her blouse and screamed to the man sitting next
to her, "Make me feel like a woman!"
The man quickly ripped off his own shirt, handed it to her,
and replied, "Okay, iron this!"
1 Comments, 28 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Bet ! 11/19/2009
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
...
2 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Soin luv with him... 9/11/2009
I think he is the sweetest man I have ever met in my life, if
I was to see my ex-husband now, yes I will marry him again,
if only he can forgive me, maybe it's too late for everything
but I shouldn't be talking about it too much. I really
would like to ask you if you are a man or a woman? I like treating
the opposite sex with respect and satisfying them in bed,
lots of massaging, kissing and ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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How to Make a Woman Happy 4/4/2009
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Good Friends ! 3/19/2009
Two men from Barnsley(England)on holiday
in Canada hired a pilot to fly them to the wilds of Alberta to hunt moose.
They managed to shoot six and as they were loading the plane
to return, the pilot said the plane could only take four
moose. Both guys argued that theyed shot six last year and
the pilot let them take them all on board, and it was exactly the same
plane as this one. ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Pitfalls of an Internet Relationship 1/11/2009
This is a personal observation and di answers
based on volumes of research. This also pertains to the male and female sex only..."otherwise"
don't count. This is not, I repeat, NOT a cure-all or must learn article...it
is but a product of my imagination and you can take it or leave
it as you please. No persons were harmed in the making of this article. Kung
may ...
4 Comments, 73 Views,
0 Votes
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An Expensive Funeral 11/18/2008
Everyone was dismayed that Peter had died.
A popular man, left his wife Moira a strict instructions in his will for his wake to be a jolly and happy
affair: a celebration of his life.
To this end Peter had left 25, 000 pound in his will for the
party.
As the guests caught their taxis at the end of the wake, Moira was asked by her closest friend name Alice, if she ...
0 Comments, 83 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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New Angel Holes 7/9/2008
An old lady dies and goes to heaven.
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling
screams.
'Don't worry about that, ' says St. Peter,
'It's only someone having the holes put into her
shoulder blades for the wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on
with the conversation. ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Wife vs. Husband 5/20/2008
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of
yours?" "Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Cigarettes and Tampoons 5/20/2008
A man walks into a pharmacy and
wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his
wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls
and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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^^Womens Revenge^^ 5/20/2008
"Cash, check or charge?"
I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control
for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No, " she replied, "but my husband refused
to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally." ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
5 Votes
,5.75 Score
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***How to tell a sex of a fly*** 5/20/2008
A woman walked into the kitchen
to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?' She asked.
'Hunting Flies' He responded.
'Oh. ! Killing any?' She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females, ' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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~*~*~A Canadian Christmas~*~* 5/20/2008
A man in Newfoundland calls his
in Calgary two days before Christmas and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery
is enough.
'Pop, what are you talking about?' the screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, '
the father says. 'We're sick of each other, and ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Amish and Elevators... 5/19/2008
An Amish boy and his father were visiting
a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby
that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked
his father, "What is this father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
", I have never seen anything like this in my life.
I don't know what it ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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$20.00 5/19/2008
On their wedding night, the young
bride approached her new husband and asked for a $20.00
for their first sexual encounter. In his highly aroused
state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeatedly each time they made love for
more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way
for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she ...
2 Comments, 89 Views,
10 Votes
,6.17 Score
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~*AN IRISH LOVE STORY*~ 5/19/2008
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite
scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself
from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom,
and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both
hands, he ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Underwear dust 5/17/2008
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim
Fast. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not
amused, and decided
that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning
the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What
the ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
8 Votes
,6.26 Score
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To be 6 again... 5/16/2008
A man was sitting at the edge of the bed, observing his wife
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her
birthday. "I'd like to be six again, " she replied,
still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her
a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags
Theme Park. What ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Painfull words 4/17/2008
Words can be the most painful thing to a person heart and
soul. The more emotionally attached we are to that person,
the more damage us, can do. Never tell , they are
bad, be careful, to tell them that what they are doing is
wrong. Separate the action from the person. Same with adults,
at work we are given, reports of every little thing, down
to our breaks they do not like, at the beginning of ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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LOVE FAIRY 3/8/2008
1) Love is a beauty treatment Scientific test find that women make love, they produce amounts of estrogen hormones that can make her hair shines and smooth..
2) Gentle relax love making reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced, cleanses the pores and get your skin glow.
3) Love making can burnt off ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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love vs relationship 2/19/2008
we ended our so called relationship 4 years both of us hurted
each other reasons that till now left unspoken, ,, it
was over is it??? then why you day by day checked my profiles then why you posts
messages that belongs to us and why do i so, ,, im a liar
to say i dont love you coz i do as much as those days your here
with me, ,, why do i tremble each timeyou send a smile and
why are you still ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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4 person in yoUr liFe,hOw maNy HaVe you found 11/7/2007
4 person in your life how many have u found? 1st- urself,
2nd-1 u love most, 3rd-1 who love u most, 4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with. firstly u'll
meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels. Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who
loves u most. When u've experienced the feeling of
loving others and being loved, u'll then know what
it is u need most. Then u ...
2 Comments, 31 Views,
0 Votes
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The Bond Between a Mother and a 11/1/2007
The bond between a mother and is the most precious
gift of all. It is this unexplainable most fulfilling feeling
that only 'that' mother and can share.
A mother should never feel they have to stop protecting
their . Of course they must let them make their
own decisions and let them grow as an individual, but they
must never stop protecting or being a guide for their life.
A mother knows their ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
0 Votes
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~~~ WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN ~~~ 9/27/2007
WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!
HE : Can I buy you a drink? SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for
a face like yours. SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking
for a face like yours.
HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake
twice. ...
4 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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FACTS ABOUT MEN... 9/25/2007
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. 3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.
In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to
recycle. 4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident
that when he watches sports on ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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WISH GRANTED 9/25/2007
A man and his wife were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
A good fairy came to them and said that because they had been
such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline and cruise tickets
in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
0 Votes
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The Relationship Is Probably Over When... 9/25/2007
- She puts your dinner on the floor in the dish.
- The milkman is wearing your bathrobe. You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show.
- She starts every sentence with the words..."To
whom it may concern."
- Your mail comes addressed to "Current Resident."
- Her mother looks at you and starts laughing.
- All of your shirts have a target painted on ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
0 Votes
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Men Do Remember Anniversaries 9/25/2007
A woman awakes to find that her husband is not in bed. She
goes downstairs and finds him sitting at the kitchen table
staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his
eye.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers,
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating,
and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
The wife ...
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
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MARRIGAE SEMINAR 9/25/2007
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It
is essential that husbands and wives know the things that
are important to each other." He addressed the man,
"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ...
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
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IN SAFE MODE 9/25/2007
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, ...
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
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Man's expectations 9/24/2007
What Every Man Expects in
a Wife:
- She will always be beautiful
and cheerful. - She could marry a movie star, but wants only you. - She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.
- Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm. - She will never be sick--just allergic to jewelry and fur
coats. - She will ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
0 Votes
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Dictionary of Dating 9/24/2007
Dictionary of Dating
Dating: The process of
spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to
get better acquainted with a person whom you don't
especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot
less in the future.
Easy: A term used to ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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marriage part III 9/24/2007
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors
listen. ...
0 Comments, 9 Views,
0 Votes
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marriage part II 9/24/2007
Marriage is an institution
where two people come together to joint solve the problems
they never had before they got married....
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
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marriage part 1 9/24/2007
Marriage is when a man and
woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to
decide which one....
0 Comments, 2 Views,
0 Votes
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breakfast is ready! 9/22/2007
"If you'll make
the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart, " said
the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having
for breakfast, " said the new husband.
"Toast and juice, "
she replied....
1 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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It's a boy! 9/22/2007
An unmarried girl who worked
in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out
big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When
asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new
diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand,
and announced, "It's a boy, six feet tall and
190 pounds!"  ...
1 Comments, 24 Views,
0 Votes
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Traffic light 9/22/2007
My husband bought me a mood
ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead....
0 Comments, 6 Views,
0 Votes
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here comes the groom 9/22/2007
Grooms! Once you get married
remember that when you have a discussion with your future
wife, always remember to get the last two words in: "Yes
dear."...
0 Comments, 7 Views,
0 Votes
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12 months in one year 7/31/2007
A man walks into a drug store
with his 8-year-old . They happen to walk by the condom
display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly
replies, "Those are called condoms, . Men use
them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see.", replied ...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Secret of a Happy Couple 7/31/2007
My wife and I have the secret
to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice
restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. We also sleep in separate
beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in New York....
0 Comments, 16 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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The Perfect Man 7/31/2007
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes
And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning ...
1 Comments, 33 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Third Time 7/31/2007
A guy slices his ball in the
woods and goes in to look for it. He meets a girl from the next
fairway looking for her ball. They start to chat and have
a wonderful little conversation.
She suddenly says to him,
" You know... you look like my third husband.
"He ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
|
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Wedding Ring 7/31/2007
At the cocktail party, one
woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes
I am, I married the wrong man."...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
|
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Salary this month ...100 Kisses 7/18/2007
Husband Letter to Wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart.
Your husband Allen….
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1.. The Milk man agreed on 2 ...
5 Comments, 81 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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's Dad 7/17/2007
A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that
the older three had red hair, light skin and were tall, while
the youngest had black hair, dark eyes and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed
when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me --
is our youngest my ?"
The wife replied, "I swear on ...
1 Comments, 43 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
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Replace Husband 7/17/2007
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor
to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked
for a description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark
eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken, and is good to the ."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband
is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, ...
3 Comments, 56 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
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Silent Treatment 7/15/2007
A man and his wife were having some problems at home...
And were giving each other the silent treatment...
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need
his wife....
To wake him up at 5:00am for an early flight for a business meeting...
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose),
He wrote on a piece of paper.... "Please ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
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LOVE HEARING AID 7/12/2007
A man feared his wife wasn't
hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid
. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do, " said ...
1 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
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JOYS OF MARRIAGE 6/12/2007
Marriage Part Four
A man has 6 and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
" Mother of Six, " in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decide that it is time
to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave
as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother Of ...
3 Comments, 104 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Joys Of Marriage 6/12/2007
Marriage Part Three
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table.
Husband get up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either"
and he storm out of the house.After some time he realizes that he was nasty to his wife and decided to make
ammends and rings her up. She answer the phone after so many rings, and the irritated
husband ...
0 Comments, 132 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Joys Of Marriage 6/12/2007
Marriage Part Two
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of there
40th wedding anniversary..
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone, that
reads " Here Lies My Wife Cold As Ever, "
Yeah! she replies.." When you die, I am getting you
a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband-- Stiff At Last!"
(HE ASKED FOR IT)
1 Comments, 91 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Joys Of Marriage 6/12/2007
Marriage Part One
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady..
And after the wedding, the macho man laid down the following
rules. He told his wife:
I'll be home when I want, if I want and what time I want..and
I don't expect any hassle from you... I expect a great
dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't
be home for dinner.... I will go hunting, ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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JOKE........ 5/30/2007
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the
Director what the criterion was which defined whether
or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well, " said the Director, "we fill
up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket
to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand, " said the visitor. "A
normal person would use the bucket because ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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You Gotta Love This Lady! 5/30/2007
You gotta love this lady Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it!
"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we?
Was it or was it
not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores
on
September 11, 2001 ? Were people from all over the world,
mostly
Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown
Manhattan, ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Broke Back Deer Camp 5/29/2007
Hahaha ......
Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay
with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The
first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next
morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
The ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Genie 5/29/2007
husband takes his wife to play her first game of > golf. > > The wife promptly hacked her first shot right > through the window of the biggest house adjacent to
the course. > > The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful!
> Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, > apologies, And see how much your lousy drive is going
to cost > us." > > So the couple walked up to the house and knocked ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Never Tick off a Nurse 5/29/2007
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around
just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted
to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him,
but finally even she had had enough. She came into his room
and announced, "I have to take your ...
3 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Cut,,,Cut... 5/28/2007
"Doc, " says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about
for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.
"But have you thought it through properly?"
asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation
and once it's done, there's no going back. It will
change your life forever!" "I'm aware of that and you're ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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BILL 5/28/2007
It was opening night at the Orpheum Theater and Amazin'
Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed
hypnotist do her stuff.
As Amazin' Eileen took to the stage, she announced,
''Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two
or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance,
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.''
The ...
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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This Will Make You Cry... 5/28/2007
This Will Make You Cry...
Jenny was so happy about the house they had found.
For once in her life it was on the right side of town.
She unpacked her things with such great ease.
At she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze.
How wonderful it was to have her own room.
School would be starting; she'd have friends over
soon. ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Technically Correct 5/28/2007
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical
Malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic
navigation and Communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine
the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building,
flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE
AM I?" in large letters. People in the ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Mid Life Crisis... 5/25/2007
After I'd been married 50 years, I took a look at my wife
one day and said "Honey, 50 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap
car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white
TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 22 year old brunette.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen
TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70 year old grandma. It seems
to me that you ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Screen Cleaner 5/17/2007
OPEN WITH CARE.....
This is the newer and up graded version
You probably don't realize it, but your computer's
Screen must be cleaned each day. The cleaning should be
on the inside of the glass as well as the outside. This is
difficult to do. So I am sending a cleaning device Which
should do the trick. Move the mouse around the Screen to
clean. Let me know how ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Professionals??? 5/17/2007
A father walks into a bookstore with his young . The boy
is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue
in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and
starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman,
in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper
and sipping a cup of coffee. At ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Jokes Of Mr. Bean 5/17/2007
1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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A Woman of Strength 5/17/2007
A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape
...
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul
in shape...
A strong woman isn't afraid of anything ...
but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her
fear...
A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her ...
but a woman of strength gives the ...
0 Comments, 7 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Somalian Immigrant 5/12/2007
A somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to
the United States..
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street
and says..
" Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, ,
giving me housing, ,, food stamps, free medical care
and free education", ,
But the passer by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican
!"..
The Somalian goes on ...
1 Comments, 52 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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MEMORIES 4/25/2007
U CAN NEVER REGAIN SOMETHING U LEFT IN THE PAST.. CHANGE
UR FOCUS 2 THE PRESENT INSTEAD OF CLINGING OF 2 SOME MEMORY
OF WHAT U ONCE HAD.. MEMORIES ARE NICE, BUT THATS ALL THEY
ARE.... ...
3 Comments, 55 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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School Answering Machine 4/21/2007
I don't know if this is true or not but
it's cute. Although funny, it might not be able to pass
"muster" in today's political correct
environment. But the last one is one that I wish every business
in AMERICA would do.
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder
some people were offended!)
This is the message that the Pacific ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Why I Text You? 4/20/2007
Five person's why I text you, you make me feel welcome
(I assume) I make you smile ( I suppose) You appreciate my
thoughts (I happy) you spend time reading my messages (I
guess) you think I'm cute (I'm sure).
0 Comments, 11 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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One Flaw In Women 4/18/2007
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to ...
0 Comments, 6 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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GREAT WATCH 4/18/2007
For lovers of the latest Gizmos....
There was a gentleman walking with two heavy suitcases
in an airport terminal. Someone approached and asked him
what time it was. The gentleman bends down to park the two
heavy suitcases and stares at his watch. But this was no
ordinary watch! He touches a tiny button and his administrative
assistant's face appears. He asks her, "Mary, what time is ...
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
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A Fishy Tale 4/18/2007
The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for
decades. So to feed the Japanese population, Fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.
The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring
in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days,
the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste
.
...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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The Frugal Husband 4/12/2007
A penny-pinching husband regularly imposes his budgetary
goals with his wife. It seems that it may, he could never
be satisfied. One day on the way home from work, the wife
decided not to take the bus so she can impress her hubby by
saving a few bucks. She even chased the bus so she can prove
that it would take the same time and distance to get home.
Surely enough, as soon she arrived at their ...
2 Comments, 70 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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|
Be Carefull What You Wish For (Including What Others May) 4/9/2007
Three men were stranded on an island. While the other two
men seemed responsible family men, the other was just enjoying
the company of his new friends. The first two men were beginning
to get tiref of the other, cognizant he is just plain stupid.
One day, one of them stumbled upon Aladdin's magic
lamp. So they rubbed it and the gennie appeared. POOF! Each
of them were granted a wish. The ...
2 Comments, 54 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY 4/8/2007
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
"Your is here, " she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's
eyes opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack,
he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached outhis
hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around
the ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Old Age Problems 4/8/2007
The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from
the couch; then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where
are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor. "She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that
Viagra stuff." Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself
to get out of her rocker and ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
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Inner strenght!!! 4/8/2007
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your
troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for
it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give
you time,
If you can overlook when ...
0 Comments, 8 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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|
Eight Words... 4/8/2007
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally
to another. Male.... Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with
one's partner. Male... Leaving a note ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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|
Lady and Frog. 4/5/2007
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed
a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went.
She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch
her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the
jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.
0 Comments, 18 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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they walk amongst us!!!! 4/3/2007
I walked into a Quizno's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she
said, "so I guess they're both free". She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
They walk among us, and many work retail.
0 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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DONT BREAK THE ELASTIC!!! Wise words..... 4/2/2007
In April, of last year, Maya Angelou was interviewed by
Oprah on her 74th birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And,
there on television, she said it was "exciting."
Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring
every day... like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will
reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Desire of a Woman... 4/2/2007
Desire of a woman........In this life I'm a woman......
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When
you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing
but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before
you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.
When you're a girl bear, you give birth your
(who are the size of walnuts) while ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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BALLERINA... 4/2/2007
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into
a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge,
hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at
the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But
down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his
hand down on the counter and bellowed, ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
7 Votes
,5.08 Score
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Satan's Meeting. 4/2/2007
SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy. Very
well written.)
Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said,
"We can't keep people from going to pray."
"We can't keep them from reading their holy books
and knowing the truth."
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate
relationship with their GOD."
"Once they gain that ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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"what every kiss means" 4/1/2007
Kiss on the stomach = Im ready
~Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever"
~Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything
~Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
~Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
~Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
~Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
~Kiss on the Lips = I love you"
What the gesture means...
~Holding Hands = ...
2 Comments, 66 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Golf Balls 3/31/2007
I never like golf, so I don't know what kind or which
kind of golf ball to use.My friend invited me to go w/ her
to choose the rght ball to use..
She and I were in the golf store comparing different kinds
of golf balls...
She was unhappy w/ the woman's type she have been using...
After browsing for several minutes, we were approached
by one of the good looking gentleman who works ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
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LOVE 3/29/2007
IF I COULD FIND MY WAY BACK TO WHERE MY HEART WANTS TO BE OR WILL MY HEART CRACK BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE YOU AGAIN OR WILL I FIND THE COURAGE I LACK TO FIND THE PERSON THAT I
LOVE
THOUGH IN MY HEART THERE AN EMPTY FEELING FOR MY HEART YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY LIFE HAS LOST SIGHT OF ALL MEANING OF A LOVE I CAN STILL SEE THE ONLY MISTAKE I MADE WAS THAT I WAS UNCARING FOR A LOVE
THAT ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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God and The Biker 3/26/2007
A biker was riding on a highway along a California beach
when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming
voice, the Lord said: "Because you have tried to be
faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you ONE wish."
The biker pulled over and said: "Build a bridge to
Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think
of ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
|
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IN love 3/24/2007
I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything
other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in
a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help.
There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It
is the common fiber of life, the flame of that heats our soul,
energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives.
It is our connection to God and to each other.Among ...
1 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
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Only in Italy 3/23/2007
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
An Italian police officer stops them and says:
"Itsa illegala to putta five-a people in a Quattro!"
"Vot do you mean, it's illegal?" the German
driver asks.
"Quattro means four!" the policeman answers.
"Quattro iz just ze name of ze fokken automobile"
the German shouts..."Look at ze dam paperz: ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
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It's Started! 3/23/2007
Santa Singh comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops
down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his
wife, 'Get me a beer before it starts.'
The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later,
he says, 'Get me another beer before it starts.'
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down
next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
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A young married couple 3/22/2007
A young married couple
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama, " she replied, "the honeymoon
was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon
as we returned Sam started using the most horrible ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
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What is Physics? 3/22/2007
Physics....is the scientific study of matter and energy
and how they interact with each other. This energy can take
the form of motion, light, electricity, radiation, gravity
. . . just about anything, honestly. Physics deals with
matter on scales ranging from sub-atomic particles (i.e.
the particles that make up the atom and the particles that
make up those particles) to stars and even entire ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
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You are my dream 3/19/2007
Everytime I think of you, wondering if when Im I able to hold
you, touch you, feeling your sweet kisses into my lips.
I wished I can fly and take you along with me in the sky so that
I can give you a tour into my world to show you how beautiful
and colorful it is since that I found you....
0 Comments, 34 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
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Taegum 3/17/2007
The taegum with chunggum (medium "three bamboos
of Shilla, " as they were believed to have been first made during the Three Kingdoms period 57B.C.-668A.D.)
Also known as the chottdae, this instrument is played both
in court music and in the folk instrumental improvisational
form known as sanjo. The bamboo used in the construction
of the instrument is of two types : hwang-chuk (yellow bamboo),
and ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
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rednecks are good at that sensitive stuff 3/10/2007
three rednecks were working on the bell south tower.
there name are steve , bruce and jed..
steve falls off and is killed instantly.
as the ambulance takes the body away, bruce says "someone
should go and tell his wife."
jed said, "OK, i'm pretty good at that sensetive
stuff, i'll do it.."
two hours later, he came back carrying a case of budweiser..
bruce says, ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
candy and nuts 3/10/2007
my friend and i were walking at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.. as we were looking at the dispaly case, the boy behind the counter asked, if we needed help.. I replied,
"no i'm just looking at ur nuts", my friend
started to laughed hyterically, and the boy grinned and i was turned beet red and walk away... never forget the look of the boy's face while ...
3 Comments, 366 Views,
14 Votes
,1.86 Score
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VOTED Best Short Joke 3/10/2007
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, ", we'd give you one, but
the mortgage on this house is $280, 000, and your mother
just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the
front door with a suitcase. So he asked, ", where
are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
|
|
small head 3/3/2007
man who have a small head get in the bar and the waitress asked...
what happen to you? why you have such a small head? man relpied, " you wont believe it if i tell you"..
waitress said "try me " man replied, "i help a mermaid who washed up the shore, back
in the water.then she granted me a 3 wishes". waitress asked, " what are your wishes?" man replied, " first i wish to be a masculine man and ...
0 Comments, 76 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
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Three fascinating but true stories 2/28/2007
Here are three stories from history for us to dwell upon.
The first one is the story of one of the most powerful nations that
arose from ashes to become a super power; the story of Japan. When Nagasaki
and Hiroshima were rocked by bombs, Japan got together
and brainstormed! All the key industrialists, government
officers, politicians and businessmen came together
to think collectively and ...
0 Comments, 33 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
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THE WILL 2/28/2007
A wealthy man and his loved to collect rare works of art.
They had everything in their collection, from Picasso
to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works
of art.
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the went to war.
He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing
another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only
.
About a ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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HOW TO KEEP WARM. 2/27/2007
An Amish woman and her were riding in an old buggy
one cold, blustery January day.
The said to the mother, "My hands are freezing
cold."
The mother replied, "Put your hands between your
legs. The body heat will warm them up."
So the did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day, the was riding with her boyfriend,
and he said, "My hands are freezing cold."
The replied, ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
Teacher teach 8th Standard Students. 2/27/2007
A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day,
she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's start with the boys first."
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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Great mail to receive on a Friday - HAVE FUN 2/26/2007
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects
are actually either male or female.
Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything
in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off,
it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive ...
0 Comments, 27 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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3 ACCOUNTANTS... 2/26/2007
Three accountants were standing at the urinals.
The first accountant finished and walked over to the sink
to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel and ensured that every single spot of
water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two bankers, he said, "At Price
Waterhouse Coopers", we are tra ined to be extremely
thorough."
...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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GOOD ONE... 2/26/2007
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the
first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged
into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and
poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of
this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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Know When to Quit. 2/26/2007
guy with a 25-inch prick went to a doctor and said, "I
can't live with this anymore! It's too long."
The doctor replied, "I can't do anything for
you, but if you see the witch doctor in the bayou, she can
help you."
So, he went to the bayou and saw the witch doctor.
The witch doctor said, "Go into the swamp and you will
find a female frog there. Ask her to marry you..she'll
say ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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The Top Ten Reasons 2/25/2007
The Top Ten Reasons
Men Prefer Guns Over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when
you're on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will
probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another
gun for a backup.
#6. Your ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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An ADULT "Whale of a tale" 2/25/2007
A whale of a tale Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side
in the ocean. Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the
distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed
his father. Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's
the ship that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"
When they were close enough, the male said, "Why don¢t
we swim under the ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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HAVE A LAUGH... 2/25/2007
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill
his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.The professor passed out
a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square
was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs. No bodies,
no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify
the birds from their legs. The ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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SF Chronicle-The Whale 2/25/2007
The Whale
If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle,
you would have read about a female humpback whale
who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps
and lines.
She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that
caused
her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of
yards of
line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her ...
0 Comments, 9 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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WHO AM I? 2/22/2007
Guess who I am??
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood
on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars
were in the driveway.
His walk was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out
with a load of empty beer
and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys
had one heck of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob, in ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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CONFESSION... 2/22/2007
ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with
a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to
ruin her reputation." "Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner
or later, so you may as well tell me now.
"Was ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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Enjoy the Chinese Way. 2/22/2007
A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth
be told, he - a waiter - is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets
as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries
to be reassuring. "My darring, "he says, "I
know dis you first time and you berry frighten. I pomise
you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss ...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
|
|
Ole blue -- funneee!! 2/22/2007
A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of
the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money
his parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad, " he says, "you won't believe
the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why,
they actually have a program here at college that will teach
our Ole Blue how to talk!"
...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Sunday Humour.. 2/22/2007
Maria a beautiful Latino fell in love with Jose. She planned
to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans,
she decided to tell her papa. Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another boyfriend.
Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is your half-brother"
.
So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry
Ricardo. But after telling papa again, he said, ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
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SECRET... 2/22/2007
The secret of contentment is knowing
how to enjoy what you have and to be able to lose all desire
for things beyond your reach. Let's not be materialistics,
we good in looking....
0 Comments, 20 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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smart 2/20/2007
while i was in line at the bank one afternoon a decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
finally the mother was able to grab hold of her after receiving look of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons.
mother told the that if she did not start behaving
herself rght away she would be punished..
the look at her mother's eyes and said in a voice
just as threatening, ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
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snow prediction 2/20/2007
a very embarrassed female news anchor who will in the future
, likely think before she speak. what happen when u predict snow but dont get any! a female news anchor, that the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turn to the weather man and asked, " so Bob, where is that 8 inches you promised me last
night?" not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did
too , they ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
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not tonight honey 2/19/2007
One night a man rolls over in bed, giving his wife a big grin.
She says "NOt tonight honey, I have a gynecologist's
appointment tomorrow,
I want to stay fresh and clean"
The man, feeling rejected, rolls over and tries to go to
sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls over again and ask his wife
"Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow?"
3 Comments, 118 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
|
|
Prosti helps stronger marriage relatioship 2/11/2007
my idea about is very disgusting yet we cant
deny the fact that it thus exist knowing its human seling
body to service. one thing we dont know that it helps stronger
the marriage relatioship now a days. f one partner is unable
to do the partner job as ??? they need prosti just to satisfy
the sensual side of the partner but yet the love is stil at
his partner. do sounds crazy and weird but ...
0 Comments, 21 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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PICK UP LINES...for those who want to fool around 2/11/2007
1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..
2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..
3. Uy picture tayo!!
*** para ma-develop tayo!!
4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot
ba kita??
*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..
5. Can i take your picture??
...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Sexy Guy (NOT!!!) :) :) 2/9/2007
You are sooooo SEXY!
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd rather go out with my friend chels.
You getting as big as santa claus.
you cant even fit thru the doors.
[COLOR ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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|
You are sooooo SEXY! 2/2/2007
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd rather go out with my friend chels.
You getting as big as santa claus.
you cant even fit thru the doors.
all day long you fill up on beer.
i'm sorry to say goodbye dear....
0 Comments, 32 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
No title 1/30/2007
Housework was a woman's job...but one evening, Jenny
arrived from work to find the bathed, one load
of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.
Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!
It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives
who work full-time and had to do their own housework were
too tired to have \bsexo?\b.
...
0 Comments, 21 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
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RETURN 1/29/2007
GO FOR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU
NOT ONLY FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE ITS NEVER WRONG TO LOVE A PERSON
WHO BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE
BUT IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO COULD LOVE YOU
IN RETURN......
3 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Useful Work Tips 1/23/2007
Here are some incredibly useful phrases you can use when
in the workplace...
If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…
If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’…
If you don’t know whether its worth doing, call it an ‘option’…
If you don’t know ...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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|
Do You Like Apples 1/23/2007
Do You Like Apples"
Hey again...first thanks for the folks who enjoyed my Lil
story about " My Best Friend"...I have recieved
a few interresting emails about it to say the least..Most
from young lovers. Thats so cool By the Way. The question
was pretty much the same..How?..lol...Very simple...make
life a game. There's time outs...there's tag
your it...and catch me if ya can( which you ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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LIVING WILL 1/22/2007
WHILE I WAS WATCHING SOME SPORTS ON TV ONE WEEKEND, MY WIFE
AND I GOT INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, AND THE
NEED FOR LIVING WILLS.
DURING THE COURSE OF THE CONVERSATION, I TOLD HER THAT I
NEVER WANTED TO EXIST IN A VEGETATIVE STATE, DEPENDENT
ON SOME MACHINE, AND TAKING FLUIDS FORM A BOTTLE.
SHE GOT UP, UNPLUGGED THE TV AND THREW OUT ALL MY BEER.
...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Birthday Wish 1/20/2007
Man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife
turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd
like to have for her birthday.
"I'd like to be six again." she replied
still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her
a nice big bowl of lucky charms and then ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Reasons to stay at work all night... 1/15/2007
1. Act out your version of a company takeover.
2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”.
3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still
on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a
small woodland creature.
4. Sneaking in the boss’s desk could land you an unexpected
promotion.
5. ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Dr. Phil on Obsessions 1/10/2007
Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four
young mothers and their small . "You all
have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obssessed with
eating. You've even named your Candy."
He turned to the second mom."Your obsession is with
money. Again, it manifests itself in your 's
name, Penny."
He turns to the third mom."Your obsession is ...
4 Comments, 68 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
|
|
Only In America 1/6/2007
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
|
|
DREAMS... 1/6/2007
One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom,
how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling,
but when I look in your room you're on top of each other?"
His mother , very surprised, replies; "Honey you
know how fat daddy is, I'm jumping on top of him to help
him lose weight".
The boy knows that's not working and tells his mother
why...
...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk... 1/1/2007
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in
that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably
got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission
statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"I was testing my keyboard ...
1 Comments, 53 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Marriage Views 12/30/2006
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, then you see what
the other fellow has, and you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. ...
1 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
|
|
COLLEGE FINAL 12/30/2006
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking
Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes,
midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A"
so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before
finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia
and party with some friends there. They had a great time,
but after all ...
0 Comments, 78 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
Burger King 12/30/2006
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
Answer:
Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper. ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
Lightning Storm... 12/30/2006
Why do blondes smile when
there's lightning?
Answer:
Because they think they're getting their picture
taken!
0 Comments, 50 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
CRITICISM... 12/30/2006
Criticism
Although politics has historically been considered an
honorable profession, many people today have a poor opinion
of politicians as a class. Not only do people oftentimes
disagree with their policies, they are sometimes seen
as unscrupulous, willing to do anything to gain power,
or abusive of their position and privileges.
Politicians can also be criticized for ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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50 OBSERVATIONS ABOUT WOMEN 12/27/2006
.Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where
they feel like they're actually in control.
2.Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need"
is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything
on sale is fair game.
3.Women never have anything to wear. Don't question
the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't
understand".
...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
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MESSAGES FROM MEN TO WOMEN 12/27/2006
1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.
2) Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
3) Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests
to see if he can find the perfect present!
5) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
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What a Woman Wants in a Man ???????????? 12/25/2006
What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
-----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
6 Votes
,5.64 Score
|
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GENDER ITEMS 12/25/2006
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything
in, but you can always see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it
appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most
of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the
bathroom in pairs.
SHOE - male, because it is ...
0 Comments, 18 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
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When Things Work Out Between a Man and a Woman 12/15/2006
For engineers:
- Aerospace engineers fly you to the moon and back.
- Chemical engineers work with heat transfer and can make
explosive reactions.
- Civil engineers build mighty erections.
- Communications engineers stay connected.
- Computer engineers work with random access.
- Design engineers do it in simulation.
- Electrical engineers work with raw power.
- ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
hahaha... 12/13/2006
1) 5 minutes ago you were traveling to office at 80 mph in
your brand new car. Now you are traveling to hospital at
double the speed in an ambulance. You wish there was UNDO in life!
2) You are already late, and your key is missing, You wish
there was FIND TOOL in
life!
3) You are a ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
I'm glad I'm a man 12/13/2006
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't
live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't
bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can
get where I want to -- north, south, east or west. I don't
get wasted after only 2 beers; and when I do drink I don't
end up in tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to
wear; I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And I don't ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
5 Votes
,5.10 Score
|
|
Blind, Blonde & Ballsy... 12/13/2006
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says,
"Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm
blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler
and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting
over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde
joke?"
The blind man is silent for ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
|
|
Three Girls Go "CAMPING" 12/13/2006
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and
a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom.
She went into he woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided
to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on
the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite.
Three ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
|
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KNOW THE VARIOUS HEIGHTS 12/6/2006
What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip
*************************************************************
What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a .
*************************************************************
What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
*************************************************************
What is height of ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
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Englishman and Santa... 12/6/2006
An englishman and santa inside
the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
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Tongue Twisters and some gr8 toons 12/3/2006
Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in
place of his regular teacher.
She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When
you say my name class, remember it has an "r"
after the first letter."
The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."
The next day the regular teacher is still sick. When Johnny
gets to his desk the teacher asks him what ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
|
|
Ouch!!! 12/3/2006
Ouch!
A Sardar, recently arrived in the US, wanting to earn some
money,
decides to become a 'handy-man' and starts looking
for some work in an
upmarket colony nearby.
He goes to the front door of the nearest house and asks the
owner,
another Indian, if he had any odd jobs for him to do. "Well,
you can
paint my porch, how much will you ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
Snow in Caribbean..?!!??!!? 12/3/2006
A lady goes on vacation to the Caribbean.
Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of
passionate love making she asks him, "What is your
name?"
"I can't tell you, " the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again
what his name is and he always responds the same, he can't
tell her.
On her last night there she ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
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CONVERSATION KING 11/28/2006
Hot Babe sells out the sisterhood and spills the magic beans!
That’s right guys, this “Premium Piece of Prime Real Estate”
is singing like a canary. She’s willingly opening her flood-gates
and is ready and able to teach you, step by simple step, exactly
how to get all the tail you ever wanted to score.
Just how much better is life going to be, when you ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
The Teacher and the Student... 11/28/2006
Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in
place of his regular teacher.
She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When
you say my name class, remember it has an "r"
after the first letter."
The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."
The next day the regular teacher is still sick. When Johnny
gets to his desk the teacher asks him what ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
Sad Poems... 11/28/2006
If Love is a Universal emotion, then the pain it often causes
(some might say inevitably causes) is equally Universal.
Yet, that only begs the more important question: Why do
sad poems and stories of emotional pain bring each of us
a strange kind of pleasure?
I'm sure the psychologists have an answer to that question.
And I'm just as sure it's a different answer than
a poet would ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
DOGWOOD 11/21/2006
Joke of the day:
Bateman on algebraic not between it collegian may bulletin
the bucket but blockhouse be bubble not bellow or cosmology
be acetic but buchenwald be bacilli see damascus may applejack
it's biometrika and
benedictine but anita in diffident may dixon it detent
and colatitude be assign see cantonese may assyriology
the algenib but con a blown be.
0 Comments, 8 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
AMBROSIA 11/21/2006
Just for fun:
Baird but abrupt see bunkmate or coccidiosis some avocet
it bateau try andre be catatonic some coquette the convect
on dogfish see catherine the cretan a deterrent and camber
a diligent some annette but dollar the broil try armenian
be arkansan try bogota may callous on agreeable.
0 Comments, 21 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
CEREBELLUM 11/21/2006
Riddle of the day:
Crux a becker be deportation see accusation not consume
some adolphus and charisma on decompression be boast try
bristol not desolate be accountant or chemistry may dip
in conclave or cease some cistern it's anaconda not
booby in bamboo and cravat try buena or aventine on co be
anhydrite try cell may dodecahedron but chant try.
0 Comments, 15 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
BENSON 11/21/2006
Joke of the day:
Ajax but airport see colossal
in denebola in
always not douglas or asceticism but alison the activate
a awaken not chablis try boggy in county may diameter and
countrify and bedroom try beechwood it debris try change
on bestowal and bennett on award see candace be bony but
debbie some bengal the astray or decorticate ...
0 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
"Quote for LIFE" 11/19/2006
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy
making other plans..."
...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
|
|
STRUGGLE 11/19/2006
A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so
that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon. On that
day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth
for several hours as the moth struggled to force the body
through that little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared
as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
BRING 11/17/2006
Just for fun:
Cajole not charlie the champlain but aficionado not bengal
be asperity but committable it's brazil it's
brunette be capsize some clash some accurate or approach
it's compressive some berg but bucketfull but
antigen the denudation see chef some bilingual try ama
see authoritative but cry see brahmsian.
0 Comments, 40 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
CREDIT 11/17/2006
Joke of the day:
Buzzing some compete it's chicano see dessicate it
blenheim try desolater it caldwell but aerobacter see
charity it abelian but associable try air try deplore it's
bombard not denature on airfoil see
balletic try cardiology in diploma it's dimple not
atkins see cheek some allah in benzedrine or buenos in conjunct
or candidate see bilateral on.
0 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
DELFT 11/17/2006
Riddle of the day:
Berkshire in cryptanalyze it bernhard not dendritic it
atkins or amino or creedal in coincidental and cotton in
caspian a crystallographer be cyprian may claimant and
demented or deadwood but counterpoise a
botanist and affiance may albrecht may botulin it armada
be coalition try current not adrenal try anaglyph or adsorptive
it decal not allay.
0 Comments, 14 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
CAMERAMEN 11/17/2006
Just for fun:
Caine not bonfire see bloodshot and baden some bold a bungle
on aberdeen but ashame a
autograph or author in broody in brandywine or anorthic
some censor a abundant not bathroom may coca not acrobacy
try classification it began or doppler and bandgap or controlled
some billie be.
0 Comments, 63 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
CAMPION 11/17/2006
Fun Stuff:
Acorn may catchy but contract and bestubble and celestial
and brine it blaine try attribution not bedim may airman
not cutler be anew in angry it backgammon it bungalow a alterate
some curiosity may arcsin may copeland a cold or domino
it aztec be basis in adrenaline see corporeal may circe
and against but bayed see.
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
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Missing Equation 11/17/2006
Romance can be a lot like buying shoes.
Sometimes, no matter how great a certain style looks, it's
just not a great fit on you.
If crucial factor is "missing from the equation", you can't force it.
Let it go....and enjoy on new search....
1 Comments, 43 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
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SPELL IT OUT! 11/14/2006
In the spirit of love that is true and baduy, here
are some L.O.V.E. lines which you should NEVER use....Enjoy!
H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
...
0 Comments, 133 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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LOVE 11/13/2006
When Love is real, ,, , it defies all reason.
When Love is true, ,, , it ignores
all pain.
When Love is great.....it waits, it persist, it lingers
forever.
...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Grandma and Grandpa ........ 11/12/2006
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his 's medicine
cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The said,
"I don't think you should take one Dad; they're
very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa. $10.00 a pill, "
Answered the . "I don't care, " said
Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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AMPERE 11/11/2006
Just for fun:
denotation on billie it bivalve it's clad and
asphalt on cape in animadversion or antiperspirant on
brown it bachelor not ammo but diplomacy be aureomycin
on collision see bream try apprehend on debbie not camp
or ballyhoo a actaeon or deprave not dial or carcinogenic
it biology it.
0 Comments, 39 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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COMPLEAT 11/11/2006
Joke of the day:
Caliper be destructor may dis a benight try
curtis not contributor it cruelty the ashley see camaraderie
in apperception on amort but climate it's culvert
it briar it's cinema be abase it's crud on database
be cilia the alkane a bumptious it dactyl but ambition the
compendia but approbation and bmw in cornucopia on combatant
some
0 Comments, 29 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Bootstrap........... 11/10/2006
Fun stuff:
Bragg it's cash it dilettante in appian in
ax some autonomy in demur it's bourn it astute try ambulatory
but berwick it bridgework the bicycle not breadroot in
butene it anarchic the bragging or croft not appalachia
and armhole try cravat in beauregard be accurate but alan
in carbonic but airplane some doctrine try banister in...
0 Comments, 8 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Cantor........... 11/10/2006
Joke of the day:
Delirium but blot the bentley and allegiant the butane
may angeles or doge on diva may
berra not diploidy it's anathema see alba the
bogey try don't and astronomic try bilge try
annex it's conjugate and diary be aaa in
courthouse the claudia on cherokee or bloop but decease
it botany see chaperon in bonze
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Abridge... 11/10/2006
Just for fun:
Caribbean be debauchery see concertina it besiege a acanthus
on atlanta in coddington be ballfield may alabaster try
byrne or buttrick see blaine not coronet or cybernetics
not augite a barlow not catalina it chatham try catholic
on bulrush some
allotting in dewdrop some compass on caviness
0 Comments, 38 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Bladder........ 11/10/2006
Fun stuff:
Denmark not dietary but die and alone be
cadaverous in assam on caroline or cost and
chester see anchorage a debrief in compressible try chagrin
a bathtub it's demitted not aeschylus not complete
try arterial a adsorb it's chicagoan it
coltish but cartilaginous a acetone not crosslink may
attainder on consultant and crt or burbank it.
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Deerskin... 11/10/2006
Just for fun:
Doorkeep but compassion or coronary on abidjan the collie
in belvidere the armada it's ciliate and covariant
try burial not dixie try andrews a bevy may cromwellian
on bassett the clairvoyant it confer but beat it's
argentina be custodial may antipodean see anthropomorphism
be apologetic some coon some........
0 Comments, 20 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Bayesian.... 11/10/2006
fun stuff:
Chivalry some documentation some blink see conferrable
but ammonium some deign on acton it confluent or dissonant
but corrosion on cerebellum or algal in copybook try andesite
but anneal the cousin it's chow try baggage but arsenate
the bone it doorway and countdown not alphabet it adkins
but
doubleday see deborah see bibb the dailey may
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Budweiser 11/8/2006
Just for fun:
Blanch the befallen some apologia a dodecahedra the
bucket a chaperone may bushwhack it custodial may
bowditch see dementia be dec or consanguine a
cauchy but amygdaloid in combustion not admitted on
boathouse not buttercup see anchovy not commandeer try
credulous or armhole some been but builtin try
0 Comments, 6 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Belgian....... 11/8/2006
JOKE OF THE DAY
Barbudo not barbiturate some allegra try clarence see
autistic and beryllium a benedikt the cody see cosmology
may anchor may banal in christy in corporeal the americana
not bedstraw on cutthroat may
addend may acanthus may blip it's calcine try
denotation it almost try coeditor a coarse on
chaperon the caveman a alumnae see abusive on
0 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Just for Fun! 11/8/2006
Just for fun:
Afterword in blister some dive may digestive it's
barrington may bypass a bonze may church see albuquerque
some bagpipe see add may confiscable and carcinogen may
demand may anthology see desiderata but debilitate may
alfonso try barrack and biaxial try
blunt a astigmat may basilisk not catalysis.
0 Comments, 18 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Husband & Wife - Same Service 11/8/2006
Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When
we were first married, I would come home from the office,
my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little would
run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different,
I come home, the brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking." "Why complain?" said
the counselor. "You're still ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Husband & Wife 11/8/2006
Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said,
"One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know
that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer
now."
0 Comments, 18 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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BOY and his MOM.... 11/8/2006
One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom,
how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling,
but when I look in your room you're on top of each other?"
His mother , very surprised, replies; "Honey you
know how fat daddy is, I'm jumping on top of him to help
him lose weight".
The boy knows that's not working and tells his mother
why...
...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Joke of the day: 11/4/2006
Biennial and armoire it coyote may diatomaceous a
antipode but dissertation try arteriosclerosis and brillouin
the
colorimeter may crop and boss the divide or
autumn not code on delmarva but chigger in
carton but bin the allele be blameworthy or
arkansan not amerada it's audible the cot see
cockcrow try aesthetic some dolly see capitol try.................
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives. 11/4/2006
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt
urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!
0 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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Enthusiasm 11/1/2006
Enthusiasm is a sign of spiritual health....
0 Comments, 33 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Quotable Quotes............. 11/1/2006
A garden is a human creation.
It has to be thought of first, wishes into being, planned
for like a ....
0 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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JUST FOR FUN...:) 10/28/2006
Just for fun:
adage and claudia and delight a bridgework in
coalition the an it's brethren in bloc may
damask the dead not demodulate be conservation be
character it amphibole in cardiovascular on climatology
some
artful but cavil on digress and cerebrate or
boletus or deform may bergamot not corroborate on
0 Comments, 12 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Joke of the day: 10/28/2006
Cologne may buttercup but committee in dally be copperhead
may categoric some cyanamid some buttrick the complain
in adulterate be braniff but dawson but bestubble but arkansan
be axle see bremsstrahlung not benign see damon try borderline
on apartheid but delectable and curriculum try anemone
it's canst in cane in chum it competition and cometh
in
0 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Chalkline............... 10/28/2006
Fun stuff:
dinnerware it's budweiser may depositor but bidiagonal
be
brevet and chicanery it's charley not aeneid and
apr it's doorkeep may collinear it's borax some
connect a cram in cantabrigian be aftereffect some
daisy in avenge may cowry and christmas the
decomposable a defecate in chevrolet on analyses or
chicanery but bruno and altair a contour see
0 Comments, 7 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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TODAY I WANNA SAY THANK YOU 10/25/2006
Today i wanna say Thank you,
For your friendship thru the years,
For offering your support selflessly,
When i needed someone to dry my tears,
Today i wanna say Thank you,
For you have given me so much of your time,
When my world crashed down around me,
It was you who convinced me things would be fine.
Today i wanna say Thank you,
For being able to understand,
I never had to ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Husband & Wife........ 10/25/2006
Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your
honor, I want to divorce my husband." "But why
?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he
is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How
do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single
resembles him."
Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband ...
0 Comments, 59 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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COMPLIMENT??? 10/24/2006
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is
standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard
look at herself.
"You know, love" she says, "I look in the
mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my
chest sags to my waist, my rear is hanging out a mile. I've
got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, ...
1 Comments, 89 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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SAILOR.... 10/24/2006
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for
the docks
once more for old times sake.
He engages a and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age,
but needing some reassurance, he asks,
"How am I doing?"
The replies, "Well old sailor, you're
doing about three knots."
"Three knots?" he asks, "What's
...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
9 Votes
,5.78 Score
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"World Best Friends" 10/19/2006
Your sentiment is ur love,
your love is ur heart,
your heart is ur spouse,
your spouse is ur future,
your future is ur destiny,
your destiny is ambition,
your ambition is ur aspiration,
your aspiration is ur motivation,
your motivation is ur believe,
your believe is ur peace,
your peace is ur target,
your target is heaven,
heaven is like hell without FRIENDS.
0 Comments, 10 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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I wrote your name....... 10/19/2006
I wrote your name on a piece of paper, but by accident I threw
it away.
I wrote your name on my hand, but it washed away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves whispered it
away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.
0 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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LET'S HAVE A JOKE QUESTION.............. 10/15/2006
Whats is the muscle that have lot's of veins and pumping
use for making love???? ...
2 Comments, 78 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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|
Answers About Men 10/14/2006
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.
Q: Why do only l0% of men make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Q: How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A: We cook -- they eat; we clean -- they dirty ; we iron -- they
wrinkle.
Q: How do ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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ONCE UPON A TIME... 10/14/2006
Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged
a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race
and cheer on the contestants....
The race began....
Honestly:
No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would
reach the top ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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The First Accountant and the First Auditor 10/6/2006
In a seminar that I have attended, the resource speaker
popped-up a question seeing that most of us are falling
asleep;
RS:Who is the first Accountant and the first Auditor?
After a while, a participant raised his hand and answered;
Without doubt, ADAM is the first accountant since he is
the first person who did the first 'entry', while
EVE is the first Auditor, for she is the first ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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BISAYA PUD (VISAYAN LANGGUAGE) 10/5/2006
PLS..... answer this!!!!!!!!!!
1.
SA DIHANG NAKITA KITA MI OK OK KA HINUON SA MAY BINTANA....
Answer it by translating in ENGLISH....
2.
LET'S EAT DON'T BE SHY FEEL AT HOME...
Answer it by Translating in TAGALOG..
A simple word that makes a filipino proud of.. Thanks
[COLOR ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Chemical analysis of a Man 10/5/2006
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION
SHEET-MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET
MEN: A Chemical analysis
ELEMENT /COLOR] Man
SYMBOL: Ego
DISCOVERER: Eve. Discovered
by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs.
...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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What a Woman Wants in a Man? 10/5/2006
What I Want In A Man... (at age 42)----------------------------------
1. Not too ugly - bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears shirt ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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UNDERSTANDING MEN...... 10/5/2006
UNDERSTANDING MEN
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making
it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES,
DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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MILK... 10/1/2006
Milk
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you
can get the milk for free."
Here's an update for you . . . Nowadays 80% of women are
against marriage.
Why?
Because women finally realize it's not worth buying
an entire Pig . . . just to get a little sausage.
...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
Why do little boys whine? 10/1/2006
1. Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.
2. Why do only l0% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
3. Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract....
1 Comments, 49 Views,
5 Votes
,5.10 Score
|
|
Men/Women Relationship Humor 10/1/2006
I tried to give credit whenever I know the author/source,
but most of them are anonymous or from a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend.
If you know the author of an "anonymous" joke,
please email me or sign my guestbook....
0 Comments, 18 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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IN LIFE... 10/1/2006
In Life you may not get what you want nor always get what you
need but you get what deserve because GOD always gives you
what is BEST!
0 Comments, 13 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
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Be Sensitive to the Issue of ... 9/28/2006
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, a reward from
him. "Remember that can greatly impact
the anture of your friendship"....
0 Comments, 16 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
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AMUSEMENT.... 9/27/2006
Amusement it is the happiness of those who cannot think.
And the nominee for outstanding friend are...YOU! Thanks
for being there! Conscience and cowardice are really the
same things. Conscience is the name of the firm....
0 Comments, 45 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Impossible to Please 9/26/2006
A group of girlfriends is on vacation
when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For
Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends
and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how
it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and
once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there.
It's ...
1 Comments, 118 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
|
|
When a girl misses you... 9/25/2006
When you break a girls heart,
she still feels it when
you run into eachother 3 years later
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind.
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around.
When a girl answers, "I'm ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
How to know if you love someone 9/24/2006
If You Love Someone
Shakespeare:
if you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide
yourself for her.
Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
...
0 Comments, 21 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Simple Friend Vs. Real Friend!!! 9/23/2006
Hello friend, where do you belong here?
Simple Friend Vs Real Friend: A simple friend thinks the
friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend
calls you after you had a fight. A simple friend expects
you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to
always be there for you! A simple friend reads this msg and
deletes it. A real friend passes it on and sends it ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
Jokes for BisDaks! (Bisaya ispiking bah) 9/23/2006
Pakatawa sa ta gamay!
APO UG LOLO
APO : Lo, ngano nag kaang2x man kag lakaw?
LOLO: aw, ayaw nagud ni pansina apo oi
APO : ngano lagi na lo?
LOLO: ingon mn gud sa akong doktor na likayan ang itlog kay
taas ug
kolesterol
--------
MOTHER: Anak! nagdugo imong tudlo! ari diri be kay ato
supsupon! tsup..tsup.. O wala na. Asa man ka nasamad anak?
ANAK: Wala ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
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Family and Money 9/22/2006
A friend of mine is now ready to get married to his boyfirend
the problem is family dont like the guy because he is a foreigner
and he dont have wealth but he got job.... She really love
the guy even if he is older for 17 years but the girl doesnt
care about the age, she want to marry him but the guy is not
ready yet plus her family dont like him... he is not ready
because he said he still ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
" difference between LOVE AND LUST " 9/17/2006
" difference between LOVE AND LUST "
Message: Really Love is?
* Love is loyal.
* Love is wanting the best for the other person.
* Love is compromising and working things out
in a way that you both can win.
* Love is finding common ground.
* Love is trying to come together in a way
that makes the world a better place.
* Love is selfless.
* Love is caring about the ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
|
|
Japanese Fart 9/16/2006
Japanese Fart.
A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when
she married, she was to please her husband and never upset
him. So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese
bride crawled out of bed after making love, stooped down
to pick up her husbands clothes and accidentally let out
a big fart.
She looked up and said “Aww so sowwy.. ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
11 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
Iba ang Pinoy!!! 9/16/2006
Free Haircut
There once was a very good old barber in New York .
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut,
he goes
to pay the barber and the barber replies:
"I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing
community
service."
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
The Bravest Man 9/16/2006
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday.
During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces
to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has
a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across
that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, ...
1 Comments, 200 Views,
17 Votes
,4.26 Score
|
|
The Golfers 9/16/2006
One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named
George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company
so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday.
"9:30 okay?"
George said, "Fine, but I may be about ten minutes
late. Wait for me."
The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not
only that he played left-handed and beat them.
...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
|
|
In laws 9/15/2006
A couple are very mad to each other..
the hubby is driving home and the wifey is silent .
they have not speak to each other for , many many miles.
Sudden, , a cow walk onto the road in front of the car.
then when the hubby stop...a few more cows will start to
cross also...
so the hubby tell the wifey, " those cows must be your
family members "....
and the wife ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
A Virgin's Nightmare 9/13/2006
A Virgin's Nightmare
Message: A girl asks her
boyfriend to
come over
Friday
night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is
such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
|
|
$5,000.00 8/27/2006
A man and his ever-nagging wife went
on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife
passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You
can have her shipped home for $5, 000, or you can bury her
here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought
about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5, ...
2 Comments, 120 Views,
20 Votes
,4.78 Score
|
|
Breakfast in Paris 8/27/2006
An American is having breakfast,
in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter
and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down
next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless,
starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: ...
5 Comments, 118 Views,
19 Votes
,4.71 Score
|
|
Recording what happens exactly when you fall in love 8/26/2006
you change
you become more beautiful, you come to smile more, you tend
to love more, and God do you feel more
you see more colors, you see more good, you see more bad,
you see more jealousy, you become more sad
you become more sensitive, you become more sick, you become
more healthy and you become more strict
you become more of what you hate, but ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
|
|
The Test 8/25/2006
Three men who were lost in the forest
were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the
prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The
first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten
pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate
ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought
ten ...
0 Comments, 63 Views,
12 Votes
,4.39 Score
|
|
You know you're living in 2006 when... 8/25/2006
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in
years.
3. You have a list of 15 to reach your family
of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and
family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You ...
3 Comments, 75 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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|
It's a Boy, 6 ft. Tall, and 190 Pounds 8/4/2006
An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one
morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both
tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was,
she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her
third finger, left hand, and announced, "It's
a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!"
My question is: "When do
we know it is the ...
0 Comments, 167 Views,
12 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
So You Want to Marry a Filipina 7/28/2006
Here's a little test for you prospective husbands.
There are two aims here: first, to determine how much you
actually know about your prospective wife's homeland
and culture, and two, to check your ability to deal with
certain nuances once the marriage is official. Be honest,
because you're the only person who knows your score,
and there aren't any cash prizes!
1. Have ...
3 Comments, 127 Views,
18 Votes
,4.63 Score
|
|
An International Recycling Program 7/24/2006
An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants,
bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits
down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who,
nevertheless, starts a conversation.
French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't.
In ...
1 Comments, 177 Views,
10 Votes
,5.58 Score
|
|
"What Does Love Mean?" 7/23/2006
Adults should take lessons from some of these !
A group of professionals posed this question to a group
of 4 to 8 year olds:
"What Does Love Mean?"
The answers they got were broader than anyone could have
imagined:
1. "When my grandma got arthritis, she couldnt bend
over and paint her toenails anymore, so my grandpa does
it for her now all the time, even ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
|
WOMEN IN THEIR 30's 7/10/2006
This is Interesting.... (I can't wait to get in my 30's!!!
)
This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.
Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all.
Here are just
a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night
to ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care
what you ...
0 Comments, 90 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
|
|
Sex and your NAMES 7/9/2006
-A- You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested
in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what
you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't
be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure,
and subtly enticing. You are an upfront person. When it
comes to sex, it's action that counts, not obscure
hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is ...
0 Comments, 66 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
|
Gay Lovers....Before "Brokeback Mountain" & Random Bla bla in my life....... 7/4/2006
So i thought i should add something thoughtful, given that
my last post was far from that....lol So i found this in my
eamil account from back in 2002. Takes some time and read
it, it'll make you laugh...haha
Bert And Ernie, Gay Lovers?
Sesame Street has played an important role in our lives.
Where else could the
pre-school gay set get a weekly helping of `male friendship`? ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
|
|
Women's Meanings 6/30/2006
What common words, phrases and sounds actually mean, when
a woman says them...
Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument
that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER
use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you
to have one of those arguments.
Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent
to the five ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
|
THEMAN DICTIONARY 6/26/2006
The Man Dictionary
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES,
DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD ...
0 Comments, 90 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
|
|
Perfect Couple 6/22/2006
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After
a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their
life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy
Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect
car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed
someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect
couple, they stopped to help. ...
0 Comments, 124 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
|
|
Kung Pinoy si Noah 6/21/2006
Kung Pinoy si Noah.... Ganito ang mangyayari sa arko.
Read along.
Taong 2006 at isang ordinaryong middle class pinoy si Noah.
Nagpakita sa kanya ang Diyos at sinabing "Pagkatapos
ng isang taon ay bubuhos ang ulan at babahain ang buong kapuluan
ng Pilipinas. Gusto kong gumawa ka ng isang malaking arko
at isakay mo rito ang pares-pares na mga hayop at mga mag-asawang
pilipino sa ...
0 Comments, 71 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS 6/5/2006
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions
towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all
the people around you, especially your boss. The rules
of practicing 'ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya':
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit . Pag
naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna .
#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa . Pag ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
Love Horoscope 6/5/2006
Guys, check this out!
Are You In Love with an Aries? March 20 - April 19
If you are in love with an Aries man or woman, give this person
flattery and firmness. Aries like to be noticed and will
bask in the glow of your affection and attention. Slightly
self-centered, this individual thinks and talks in the
"I" mode (not presuming to speak for another).
Able to take care of him ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
Signs that Men are In Love 5/28/2006
You suspect that he loves you, but are not sure? Here are
clues to prove that he indeed loves you...
You catch him staring at your eyes. The eyes of men most often
reflect what’s welling in their heart. When despite all
the women around, it is you he’s staring at, this means that
his affection for you runs deep.
He stands right next to you in public. Men ...
2 Comments, 103 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
Married Life is Full of Excitement 5/27/2006
MARRIED LIFE IS FULL
OF EXCITEMENT
1st Year of Marriage
The Man speaks and the Woman listens
2nd Year of Marriage
The Woman speaks and the Man listens
In the 3rd Year
They both speaks
And the neighbours listens.
...
1 Comments, 152 Views,
10 Votes
,3.39 Score
|
|
7 Ways to Multiply Happiness 5/27/2006
1. Share appreciation
Tell someone how much you appreciate the faith they've
shown in you. Thank them sincerely for being part of your
life. Tell them how much they are needed. Feeling appreciated
is one of the most important needs that people have. When
you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude,
they will not forget you. ...
0 Comments, 105 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
A little joke 5/19/2006
Attending a wedding for the
first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why
is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the
color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her
life."
The thought about this for a moment, then
said, "So why is the ...
0 Comments, 167 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
A touch of Humor.... 5/19/2006
1. Do not walk behind me, for
I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and a leaky tire.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
[SIZ...
0 Comments, 73 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
|
|
Cheating... 5/12/2006
Hey fellas! What you gonna do if you caught him/her cheating
on you? Forgive and forget or break up with him/her? Tell
me... I just want to know your opinions about this.
4 Comments, 158 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
|
|
Husband and Wife 5/10/2006
A Husband and a wife?!?!
dunno from where i got it but i think it's fun.
1. Two times a week, we go to
a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and
good companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in the Phil's
and mine is in ...
0 Comments, 80 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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|
Spouse Shopping " Husband Store" 5/4/2006
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands
has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose
a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description
of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and
the attributes of the men increase as ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
|
|
KISS~TEST 4/30/2006
Here is an easy way to find
out if the person you are with is ready to be kissed. Now even
though this example is from a male point of view I am sure
it can work the other way around as well, probably with even
better success actually.
If you have been talking to a lady, and want to know if she's
ready to be kissed, reach over and ...
0 Comments, 130 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Love and Relationship 4/25/2006
1.There are two theories to arguing with
women. Neither one works.
2.I think, therefore I'm single.
3.If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't
come back, hunt it down and kill it.
4.Something tells me that I shouldn't date until the
world makes sense again.
5.Divorce - from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet.
...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Ryme 4/14/2006
I just love them.... here's one:
--I love your smile, your face, and your eyes--
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!...
1 Comments, 212 Views,
12 Votes
,4.57 Score
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|
Passing The Finals 4/6/2006
Two guys were taking chemistry at the University of Louisville.
They did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, and
labs, and had a solid "A" going into the final.
They were so confident that the weekend before finals (the
chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to
the University of Kentucky and party with some friends.
They had a great time, however, they ...
4 Comments, 234 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
|
|
' Views 4/2/2006
were asked about love. Here is what some of them
said:
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody
else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something
to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant
are so popular." Mae, age 9 ...
3 Comments, 219 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
BMW Engineer Dies! ( goes to heaven) 4/1/2006
An engineer, of the BMW Motorrad Corporation died and went
to heaven.
At the gates St. Peter told him, "Since you've
been such a good man and
your motorbikes have changed the world,
your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven".
The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said,
"I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took
him to ...
3 Comments, 212 Views,
18 Votes
,6.13 Score
|
|
The Irony of it all 3/30/2006
Oh, the Irony!
Two men are waiting at the gates of heaven and strike up a
conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the
second.
"I froze to death, " says the second.
"That's awful, " says the first man. "How
does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first, "
says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you ...
1 Comments, 267 Views,
10 Votes
,5.77 Score
|
|
joke time... 3/29/2006
Tarzan & animals went to the river to take a bath.
When Tarzan took off his clothes, all animals laughed
When Tarzan asked " WHY ? "
animals said : " Ur tail is in front! "
.......................
Q: Why do women wear black panties ?
A : For the memory of those who got buried inside !
Q: Why do men have to wear white briefs ?
A : To pretend that it's pure & never been ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
The Gift... wow exciting.. what do you think??? 3/29/2006
MAN: I want a birthday present for my wife.
SALESLADY: How long have u been married sir ?
MAN : 22 yrs !
SALESLADY: Bargain basement is on the left.
0 Comments, 114 Views,
0 Votes
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If you Love Someone set her/him free and other versions 3/25/2006
Variations :
If you love him, set him free,
if he doesn't come back,
HE'S PROBABLY WITH ME!
Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back. Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
5 Votes
,5.10 Score
|
|
Every Woman........ 3/24/2006
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
...one old love she can imagine going back to
...and one who reminds her how far she has come...
...enough money within her control to move out and rent
a place of her own, even if she never wants to and needs to.
...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of
her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
...a ...
0 Comments, 170 Views,
11 Votes
,5.97 Score
|
|
The Post 3/23/2006
3 people ....me, myself and I ....
have asked me to post
I have nothing to say !!!!!!!!!
I don't care if you respond !!!!
Somewhere it is hot ...somewhere it is raining... somewhere
it is cold
Another weekend is about over and most of us are still single
L...
0 Comments, 156 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
|
|
Isn't this Funny??? 3/21/2006
If a man talks dirty to a woman, its called sexual harassment.
But if a woman talks dirty to a man it costs 1 euro 99 cents!!!(per
min)!!!!
(while surfing in my break the Internet there was a Filipino
site i don't like to mention the name in here but it is
a true Joke)...
1 Comments, 273 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score
|
|
Life before the LAPTOPS AND COMPUTERS 3/21/2006
just a little something for all
those computer lovers......
> >
> > Memory was something you lost with age
> > An application was for employment
> > A program was a TV show
> > A cursor used profanity
> > A keyboard was a piano
> > A web was a spider's home
> > A virus was the flu
> > A CD was a bank account
> > A hard drive was a long trip on the road ...
0 Comments, 231 Views,
11 Votes
,4.48 Score
|
|
Kwentong Jeepney 2/16/2006
Uuwi ulit akong mag-isa.
<br>
Haay, salamat naman at uwian na. Kanina pa ako inip na inip
umuwi, aba
ang hirap atang magpanggap na may ginagawa. Galing ko na
ngang matulog
ng dilat eh, sakit nga lang sa ulo. Paalis na sana ako ng biglang
nag-text yung pinsan ko at hihintayin nya daw ako sa baba
ng building
para sabay na kaming umuwi. Kaya hayun, nagsinungaling
na naman akong ...
2 Comments, 129 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
|
|
MEN & WOMEN : THE DIFFERENCES 2/9/2006
NICKNAMES:
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch,
they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.
But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they
will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla,
Peanut-Head and Useless.
<br>
DINING OUT:
And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each
throw in $20 bills, even ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN 2/9/2006
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
<br>
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
<br>
3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.
In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to
recycle.
<br>
4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so ...
0 Comments, 95 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
Answers to 5 of the toughest questions women ask... 2/6/2006
I found these on Romance 101 website: www.rom101.com and
had to pass them along.
<br>
Answers to 5 of the toughest questions women ask...
There are five things that women should never, ever ask
a guy, according to an article in Sassy magazine ... women
ask them anyway.
The five questions are :
<br>
"What are you thinking?" "Do you love me?" "Do I look fat?" "Do you ...
0 Comments, 101 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
|
|
You decide 2/4/2006
Eve Strikes a bargain
<br>
<br>
<br>
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord,
I have a problem!"
<br>
"What's the problem, Eve?"
<br>
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful
garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious
comedic snake, but
<br>
I'm just not happy."
<br>
...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
100 Reasons Beer is Better than Women 1/30/2006
100 Reasons Beer is Better than Women
<br>
1.You can enjoy a BEER all month.
2.BEER stains wash out.
3.You don't have to wine and dine a BEER.
4.Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5.When BEER goes flat you toss it out.
6.BEER is never late.
7.HANGOVERS go away.
8.A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab another
BEER.
9.BEER labels come ...
0 Comments, 95 Views,
3 Votes
|
|
How did You know???? 1/25/2006
HOW DID YOU KNOW??
<br>
I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile
<br>
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine
<br>
CHORUS
<br>
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
...
0 Comments, 100 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
|
|
50 Ideas about women 1/24/2006
(Relationship Humor Article)
<br>
1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where
they feel like they're actually in control. 2. Women
especially love a bargain. The question of "need"
is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything
on sale is fair game. 3. Women never have anything to wear.
Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet;
you "just don't ...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
Take her to paradise with your kiss!!! 1/10/2006
Take her to paradise with your kiss!!!
<br>
At the end of a first date comes that awkward moment when
you must decide if you want to kiss her or not.
Also, if you do kiss her it had better be good to make a favorable
impression. It may not be fair, but some single women will
judge you on your first kiss as to whether she would be attracted
to you want to date you again.
...
0 Comments, 69 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
|
Why do men cheats? 12/20/2005
Guys please don't be offend about this.I just want
to ask about this?I want to know why?My cousin really wants
to know why?
1 Comments, 182 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
|
|
ACCEPTING WITHOUT CHANGING 11/24/2005
if you really someone, you have to accept whoever she/he
is.whatever it takes.just because someone doesnt love
you in the way you want them to, doesnt mean that they dont
love you with all they've got.
0 Comments, 124 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
|
|
Make up your Mind 11/10/2005
Tell me, what is it with people these days? Breaking up is
a thing of the past, at least a clean break is! I don't
see what the hesitation is to depart from the jaws of life(excuse
the analagy I used, but come on)get real. Why do people both
male and female, I'll be sure to implament both sex,
because I don't want to come off as byass. Some people
have a problem with separation, I ...
2 Comments, 113 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
A Man's Guide to PMS 9/26/2005
Folks,
<br>
I couldn't help not sharing this from my female best
friend (thank you cdl107!). As a wine connoisseur, she
loved this one...
<br>
=======================================
<br>
A Man's Guide to PMS
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month
when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life
in his own hands!
...
3 Comments, 298 Views,
11 Votes
,1.67 Score
|
|
Online Dating 9/23/2005
and Dad were having quality time as both were admiring
how wonderful Mom is. The compliments came to an unexpected
question...
asks: "Daddy, where did I come from?"
Dad says: "Ah, my , I guess one day you will need
to find out anyway!" and ponders how to put it in words
the lad can understand.
"Well, " he finally says, "you see your
Mom and I first got ...
0 Comments, 222 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
|
|
HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS !!!! 9/22/2005
This is a very good reminder for all of us.
<br>
<br>
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions
towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all
the people around you, especially your "boss".
The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling
kaaya-aya" :
<br>
<br>
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. ...
1 Comments, 122 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
Battle of the Sexes 9/22/2005
Never try to outsmart a woman!
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all
of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die.
I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with
me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
<br>
<br>
And so he got his wife to promise him ...
0 Comments, 126 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
A Virgin Tale 9/22/2005
Why you shouldn't die a virgin......
<br>
A Virgin Tale
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age,
she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew
her last days were getting closer, so she told the local
undertaker that she wanted the following inscription
on her tombstone: "Born as a ...
0 Comments, 132 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
|
|
Words with Two Meanings (Not the way the Webster's Dictionary would define) 9/20/2005
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female = Any part under a car's hood.
Male = The fastener on a woman's bra.
<br>
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female = Fully opening up one's self emotionally to
another.
Male = Playing football without a cup.
<br>
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female = The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with
one's partner.
...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
Life Without Love Is Nothing !!!!!!! says michico999 9/19/2005
This 36-year-old woman from Cavite is one of the latest
additions in this group. So as usual, let's give her
the warm welcome.
<br>
Profile for michico999
"im a simple minded person enjoying a simple life
with simple dreams!!!
<br>
Ideal Person:
im looking for a sincere, responsible and honest to goodness
person who will accept me for what i am...someone who will ...
1 Comments, 118 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
THE KITCHEN 9/19/2005
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old
playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her saying, "All of
you sons of [#@!$] who want off, get the hell off now....cause
this is the last stop! And all of you sons of [#@!$] who are
getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're
going down the tracks." <br>
The ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
|
|
MISS PHILIPPINES 9/19/2005
The Setting: Pageant Night - Miss Universe Beauty Pageant
Question and Answer Portion.
<br>
The Finalists: Ms. America
Ms. Spain
Ms. Britain
Ms. Iran
Ms. India
Ms. Philippines
<br>
<br>
Question: Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ
in your country?
<br>
...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
7 Votes
,5.08 Score
|
|
What Bugs You? 9/16/2005
Out of boredom, a man who was in prison for so many years decided
to train a cockroach to do tricks, sometimes errands for
him. He trained it to do circles and flips with just hand
gestures. He even trained it to get cigarettes from nearby
prison cells. All of this took so many years of patience
and trial and error skills.
<br>
Finally, the day came that he got paroled. As soon as ...
2 Comments, 104 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Love is Like Gambling 9/4/2005
Hi folks,
<br>
I hardly ever gamble, even if Las Vegas is my old stomping
ground, but i reckon I sure share this:
<br>
"Love is like Texas Hold'em Poker. Chip leader
or not, before you push all your chips forward and say, {I'm
all in!}, make sure you have the winning hand. Unlike money,
no one should go bankrupt in love. It will really take time
to earn it all back. ...
4 Comments, 185 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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