little pleasures
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Posted:May 18, 2009 9:58 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2009 2:22 pm 2263 Views
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I bought A cellphone 9 months ago in manila hoping that I could text with it. It had the querty key board which I need to be able to text. But it wouldn't work in Canada even thought they told me it would. So a week ago I bought a new one here. I have sent a few text messages now and it is fun yes. But today I got the thrill of my day when it beeped me and told me I had a text message! Haha. I am such a dork sometimes.... but honestly it felt good to receive a text. Then later in the day a friend sent me a pic to my phone...wow.....I'm so high tech now. Not! So today I get two firsts, A text message and a pic.....yeah little things make me happy.
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5
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Lost and Found
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Posted:May 18, 2009 12:27 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 9:02 pm 2028 Views
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All my life I have been searching for something. It really shouldn't be so hard to find. Everyone deserves to find it even me. Are my standards too high? Probably but none the less it is what I seek. I did find it once after so many years and I knew I had found it. But then I lost it. Now it is even harder because I know what it is and where it is. I still seek it. I still desire it. I still crave it. I still need it more then ever. Oh so why was I so careless to lose it?
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In my eyes
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Posted:May 16, 2009 8:49 pm
Last Updated:May 31, 2009 8:02 pm 2008 Views
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We all know mean are visual creatures. I certainly am. So to me it has always been important that my lady is beautiful in my eyes. I need to be able to be warmed by her face and by her body and her aura. When my eyes see that they will be pleased forever. They will still see the beauty as time passes and things change. A new wrinkle changes nothing to my eyes. A few pounds my eyes only see more beauty. My eyes also see the sway of your walk and the gentleness it oozes. My eyes see into your eyes and see all your dreams. My eyes watch you sleep and feast on your unknowing face. my eyes follow you like there is simple nothing else in the world to see.
In my eyes you are the most beautiful woman alive.
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LDR"S
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Posted:May 15, 2009 8:53 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 9:03 pm 2031 Views
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Ldr's are hard. I had one Ldr in my past that lead to marriage. We were only 350 miles apart but that distance was enough that we could not see each other everyday. There was no chatting over the internet back then so it was phone calls, cards, letters and anything else we could think of. I remember thinking how my ear was going to change its shape to the shape of the ear piece on the phone! lol. We had a plan. Everything was great but then one day she decided that it was time to move the plan forward and take it to the next level and live together. Of course I agreed and with in a week we were living together. And it was like a honeymoon. But in time cracks appeared and she found someone else to love.
So how do you know when you are in an LDR that you will love living with the person? How do you know that their daily routine won't drive you nuts? You don't I guess. You just trust and hope. But you have to invest so much time to ever find out. Well in my latest LDR we never made it to that stage. But I think if we had we would've loved living together even more. But who knows?
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Correction Notice
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Posted:May 13, 2009 9:53 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2009 8:57 pm 2057 Views
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I said in my newly updated profile profile that "I hope I am not too late to save it". Okay I think I need to change that. I need to change it because it is not exactly what I meant. I did write that when I was sick and sleep deprived so forgive for a poor choice of words! What I meant was I hope for a second chance. Now you may wonder what is the difference? Well there can be no saving it because it is over. I think you can only save something that is still alive. And I do respect her decision. But hoping for a second chance is Possible. Let me explain, I hope to win the lottery one day. The odds are 14,000,000 to 1. I buy a ticket once a week. Why do I or anyone else buy a ticket to something that is so unlikely to happen? Because of hope and because you can't win if you don't play. Well that is why I have hope and yes the odds are the same. So off I go to make that correction.
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3
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Still in love
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Posted:May 12, 2009 11:09 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2009 9:10 pm 1903 Views
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I have been feeling miserable lately and while that in itself is pretty normal after becoming single against your wishes this was something more. I didn't know what though. I was having trouble sleepin the other night and so I got up and walked around and finally came and sat down at the computer. I called up fff but I didn't want to chat so I decided my profile needed some tweeking. So i called it up and tried decided to edit what I seek. Nothing was coming to me. Just a blank. And just as I was about to turn it off it hit me. What I seek I already found. I thought about that and changed it. I simply admitted that I am still in love. I instantly felt better! Amazing! So it seems my problem was trying to please everyone who urged me to go find a new gf. Because I wasn't doing it for myself. I was doing it because others felt I should. Because it is the normal thing to do. But that's not me! I loved completely with my whole heart. And there simply isn't room to love someone else. I apologize to those I may have misled. I did not intend to play a game. It was not a game. I simply am not ready. I simply am in love still. But I will recover in time, my own time. And since I accept this, now I sleep well. Maybe for me it is just a different process as to how I grieve and come back to life.
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finally got the pic up
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Posted:May 12, 2009 10:36 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2009 8:58 pm 1877 Views
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The other day I put up a blog about Sunflowers and I promised a picture. Well today I finally got the picture uploaded and posted it to that blog. But what a comedy of errors to get it here finally!
First trip out I forgot the camera.... nothing unusual there. lol Second day I did grab the camera but it had low battery...grrrr. So I took the pic with my new cell phone. great so at least now I have the picture. When I get home i go to upload it and can't! None of my cables will connect to the phone. Ok today I went and bought all the attachments I need to upload the pic. Great yippee! Well not so fast bucko. Now I have to learn how to make the phone do its thing and the comp to do its! lol I did figure it out (instructions were terrible). Anyhow the picture is posted now. Sorry for the delay.
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Wild Sun flowers
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Posted:May 10, 2009 12:55 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2009 10:21 pm 1885 Views
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It is spring here in Canada and so that means everything is alive again. When I was coming home from the airport I noticed the hills are starting to turn green again as the grass starts to grow again. and there is also a strong hint of yellow. the yellow comes from the Sunflowers that grow wild and rampant on the hills here. they are the first thing to sprout and bloom. they look much more like a wild Daffodil then any thing else. but they turn and face the sun all day as it moves across the sky, so that why we call them Sunflowers. As a I used to pick bouquets of them and give them to my mother. Now I dream to stop my car and and run out and pick a bouquet to give to my love. I dream this every spring when they sprout up. One day I will live this dream.
Sorry no pic. Maybe I will get out later today and take one so you all can see what they look like.
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how much is too much love
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Posted:May 8, 2009 10:08 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2009 9:32 am 2161 Views
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The other day in the chat room the question was posed 'What is you definition of love?' I replied that mine is 'Giving everything you have even your breath'. And most thought that was a little over the top. And I got called on it. So I explained this:
I live in Canada. Here it gets cold. And when it gets cold fingers get cold. You can take those fingers in you hands and bring them to your mouth and give them your breath and warm them. So is giving even your breath too much?
You can give it all when you are in love. And one day soon I will meet someone that I can give my all to.
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I don't know.
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Posted:May 8, 2009 12:14 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 9:06 pm 2081 Views
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Ok I know I should stop blogging. Blogging is so hard! Trying to figure out how to put what I feel in words is not my strong point. I seem to hurt or offend people with my posts on far to regular a basis. I need to figure out how to express my feelings better. I need to learn that this is not a place to express anything that may be be seen as a slight to anyone else here. Basically I need to learn to keep my feelings bottled up. That is too bad because it is my wish that people can come here and see and learn about the real me. I am a person that has feelings. I am a person that gets angry sometimes. I am a person that sees beauty in life. I am a person that is struggling through life just like you. I am human.
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