Early marriage, is it a curse or a gift?
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Posted:Apr 20, 2007 3:37 am
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2007 6:19 am 13823 Views
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I have always believed in the saying made by my favourite anime character "we need a reason to live, not an excuse to die". We need to find a strong reason to live because in living we can carve our future. In life many challenges came our way but it is our own choice to make our life worthwhile. These challenges might make our oceans far from being calm but in the end it is us who will learn the art of swimming.
Marriage, I learned after attending a seminar, is a life shared by two distinctly different individual. A life which they would build depending purely on their choice, whether may it be in love or in toleration. The question then is being formed, are you ready to face the kind of life that both of you will make?
A teenage love might sometimes be considered foolish mainly because the persons involve are young and, lets face it, sometimes foolish. In the case of Dodong and Teang love might be present, and it is, but then it did not suffice the needs of their family. Later in their marriage, regrets are being felt. Thank goodness divorce is not yet popular in that period because marriage is sacred and should be for keeps.
In my experience as a , life seems to be a playground. The responsibilities are not yet fully accepted or carried. Curiosity warred with sensibility. Like in Erik H. Erikson's developmental theory, the central task in the adolescence stage is identity versus role confusion. Teenagers are all eager and curios to see the life beyond the childhood years. They are excited to enter the adult world and find their own identity in this complex environment. The judgement of the person cannot be considered as totally reliable since the identity of the person is not yet fully established.
The physical state of an individual in the adolescence stage is slightly unstable since hormones are still in riot. The hormones in the body produce homeostasis or balance and it aids in the functioning of the different systems. The hormones also affect the emotional stability of a person. One very good example is a woman having her period or menstruation; they are called moody at most times. In the process of maturity, hormones stabilize which causes the achievement of balance.
In the psychological aspect, the adolescent stage is the most crucial. In this stage the reasoning and coping mechanism of an individual might vary. Stressful events in life might become a factor to one's coping mechanism and way of rationalizing matters.
Thrown these together, all the aspects of human beings in the adolescence stage, we can now look at the action of Dodong and Teang (FOOTNOTE TO YOUTH) as purely instinctive, impulsive and foolish. They have not considered the full impact of their decision yet they had hastily made actions. The consequences attached to their action are still indistinct to them that in the end they have reached an impasse.
Their relationship might be a carbon copy of the marriage Dodong's parents has but the choice to make a difference is present. They have the power to make their lives successful yet they did not use it.
Early marriages can be a success if only the persons involve realized sooner the responsibilities attached to it and worked on those responsibilities to fully meet their self's expectations.
Please give me the honour of sharing my own experience with it. My mother got pregnant of me when she was still 20. She had finished her course and had passed the board exam to be a certified midwife. All that vanished when she got herself pregnant. I was conceived out of wedlock and both my parents are still young. My mother actually ran away from home to avoid her parents' disappointment. After two months she came into her senses and decided to marry my father, sooner or later. Frankly speaking their marriage was not made in heaven, as my mother teasingly put it. They do argue a lot. The good thing is that they have both accepted their roles, as my parent and as a partner to each other. They have worked hard to overcome their differences and are not ashamed to talk about their "escapade". Their marriage has gotten stronger since then. They have achieved their goals in life and are now happily married for 18 years with 3 hard-headed daughters. One very fascinating fact about me is that I was born the day my parents got married! Isn't it wonderful? Atleast they wouldn't forget their anniversary!
In my life, sufferings, challenges and obstacles are natural. I have dealt with it, as it came, with gracious manner and sometimes ogre personality. The good thing is I have faced them. And all I can say is that though problems make my life sometimes hellish they gave me a stronger personality to reverse things and make it heavenly again.
Now the answer to the question "early marriage...is it a curse or a gift?". For me, it is purely in the hands of the person. His destiny is his own making. Genetics and environment might influence a person but in the end it is his choice and the actions that he will make that will matter most.
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random views....not all loving mothers....
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Posted:Apr 18, 2007 4:57 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2007 11:44 pm 13843 Views
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i was struck by some views expressed by my studz in our literature class....one is....
...."she is a loving mother but she is not a good mother".....
whew!!! i was silent for awhile when i heard it straight from the lips of my then jolly stud....
....he elaborated further that he acknowledge the love that the mother have been showing but what he needed most is the action to compliment the feelings of love.... he further stated that, all he needed is a mother with a bones to fight for her own right and not the one who will allow somebody to abuse her total being....an example of a strong person maybe....for him to learn and to visualize how and what a strong person should be...
....i cant find the exact word to say while i was listening to his explanation because in the deepest part of my being i agree with him..... i empathize with my student and shared with his predicament because i know it very well that " we can teach effectively through action rather than a mere bubbling of words, that young people should be shown with a concrete model of how to do things right rather than directing them with an abstract ideas which are all subjected to personal interpretation...
.....when our class ended, i cant help but to tap the shoulder of my student,afterall he is one of my faves (lol) and i uttered a silent prayer for him that he may nurture the wisdom he had in order to be wise in all his ways.....
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life is sometimes a joke....
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Posted:Apr 17, 2007 4:03 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2007 6:06 am 14018 Views
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sometimes it is funny to know that no matter how hard i am organizing my stuff i still end up forgetting some...and will end up in a total mess...i can't count anymore the instances where i was entangled to some outrageous situation because i had forgotten some of my little stuffs...thanks God!! because He had gifted me with an ability to think quickly and a good supply of sense of humor....( am also wonderin' where all these crafts came from) that i may be able to handle the situation gracefully...
i got many lapses, but often i ended leading people to laughter and i too, will laugh with them because they didnt know,that it was afterall my negligence...lol!!!
then, i will turn my back happily and say, LIFE IS ALWAYS A JOKE TO SHARE...LOL!!!
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loving is sharing
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Posted:Apr 17, 2007 1:31 am
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2007 3:11 pm 13950 Views
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the greatest miracle i am experiencing daily is the privilege of opening my two round eyes, try a wink...to the left then to the right, close it again, open...raise my two slim arms, shake them together, touch my face, manage to move my sensous lips to a certain smile...and.... presto!!! i am alive!!!
i have been doing these routine since i was 18 and had experienced some mishaps while completing the odyssey of my was then smooth sailing life...somehow i realized that life is a many splendoured things....a mixture of several emotions that may lift my spirit into heavens and may sometimes trample it to the trashes of miseries...somehow, i also admit that among all those miseries and happiness it is still LOVE that makes my life complete and molds me to who i am today.....
loving is sharing. sharing means tearing a part of my being and offering it to my love one...sometimes the manner of offering may vary according to the level of learning....i had experienced before that in the process of loving, i tore a big part of my being and completely shared it to the person whom i considered as the fullness of me...i was a damn ignorant to believe that just like me he was also sharing more than what i had....but i was totally wronged....i just awaken one day to the nagging reality that i was living all along in the complete world of lies and illusions....it was very painful...most particularly when i came to know that i cant take the part that i had shared...that i cant do nothing in order to stop the bleeding of the hollow portion....
thanks to the trend of the modern technology, i was able to mend the wounds of broken soul and once again went back to the normal flow of life....rejuvenated, renewed and matured...infact upgraded....
now i am very happy, that from that nasty experience, i have not lost my colorful views in life which makes me more appreciative of the people i meet...of the blessings i receive....afterall, in this whole wide world i am always thankful that once and for all i am still enjoying the opportunity of calling someone a friend, hun and most all my angel.....
i am not afraid to share once again...though it hurts sometimes but then the pain is worth because the prize is lasting....LOVE will always last forever....
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new life...
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Posted:Apr 16, 2007 4:58 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2007 4:25 am 13860 Views
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to begin with....
this is my life's new chapter....
trying to explore what fff may offer....
would it make my life a bit better or otherwise....
would it paint new shade of rainbow in my fixly colored routine....
just dont know.....
except that....
great things happen from unexpected....
til next post...
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