REBUILDING MYSELF...
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Posted:Dec 21, 2020 5:03 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2020 3:53 pm 16027 Views
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Almost a month had passed that I spent more time reflecting on many aspects of my life-- what I had done and not done in the past, what I continue do and not do at present, and what am I supposed do and not do in the future. It is important that I gather my thoughts and get my acts together, as they may not be in unison at times.I am already a senior citizen as per US, and international standards, and by this time, I should have learned my lessons well. Now, I am closer to God. Yes, I communicate to Him more meaningfully, compared to just "praying" and reciting the conventional memorized prepared prayers over the centuries. It may seem like a monologue, but as the time goes by, I just know that He heard me, and He is guiding me to be a much better and seasoned person. Thus, I am rebuilding myself....
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FEELING UNLOVED....
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Posted:Dec 3, 2020 7:39 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2020 6:52 pm 15579 Views
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It is bad enough that you are alone, most of your life
And yet, you did everything you could to improve the lives
of those people you cared about, your family.
But what did you get in return? Are you really appreciated?
Or all along, they feel that they are entitled to the fruits of your
hardships, difficulties and sacrifices? and that they must have
a share of all that you've got, regardless of the situation
and where you are?
Why do you feel abused, unloved, and un-cared for after all these?
Do you have the right to be rebellious and start cutting the cords?
Why is it that it's only now, you feel that your selflessness
wasn't really helping these same people to value your real worth?
You gave too much, and wasn't given anything back! not even a bit.
It hurts, doesn't it? It hurts because all you did was loving them all,
and providing most of their needs, and yet, you get nothing in return!
You don't hear from them, unless they need more help, in terms of
, yeah, financially, that is. It seems that you have a dollar sign
written on your forehead.
No one cares if you cry from loneliness, or having sleepless nights just
because whenever you get sick, no one cares for you. When you
have problems, you have no one to talk to . People will accuse you of
having bad choices, and decisions. That life is what you make it, and
that you did it all to yourself.
So now, what? Are you going to sulk in one corner, just because?
No Ma'am! No Sir!...I am just having a respite, a much needed break,
and will reflect on the most important things that needed to be fixed.
Most of all, with the help of the Almighty, let me fix myself...I will.
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RESPITE FROM FB.....
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Posted:Dec 2, 2020 11:33 am
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2020 2:32 am 16210 Views
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I just turned OFF or deactivated my FB account yesterday, the 1st of December, and I intend to come back, next year. I have had enough of my relatives and some friends' ranting about how difficult life had been during this pandemic. I also have some ill feelings about my folks back in the Philippines, who are supposed to take care of my Mom who has Alzheimer's disease, and my brother (the 3rd) who has a terminal prostate cancer. It's been a very tough year for me, even at work. I cannot retire yet, because I still have to take care of the expenses in the Philippines. I would really love to retire early now, but honestly, the money I will get from Social security and 401K is not enough to support a comfortable life for me and my family for the rest of my life, unless, I invest into a business that is guaranteed to earn enough to support me. But as the saying goes, "GOD WILL PROVIDE." I am just waiting for His guidance, and clear signs for my next move. I also intend to cut the cords from some people who are not very significant in my life, but they serve as parasites as well. This Christmas, I already informed my sister who is in charge of the finances back home, that after 30 years, Christmas cash gifts will be minimal and not everyone who used to receive from me will get it. They have been so spoiled and feeling so privileged. I have to take care of my future too, now that I am officially a "senior citizen", and cannot rely on anyone except myself to provide for my needs. My only lost his job from the major airlines, Emirates. He did not expect that. No one expected that he will be one of the 11,000 cabin crews, and pilots to be let go (retrenched). He is still processing the loss, and obviously, he is so devastated. He loved traveling around the world, and he loved the lifestyle. Now, all of that is gone, and it will take 4-5 years for the Emirates Airlines to recover. And for sure, they will hire younger crews who are cheaper. Good thing, he is a US Registered Nurse, something he can fall his back into. But he is not as dedicated of a Nurse like me. He just finished the course because he had to finish a college degree. For now, he is jobless, and he plans to look for another job in Dubai, next year, and if he couldn't find one that suits him, then, he will return in the USA and go back to Nursing. I urge you all to please pray for him and for me. I am not feeling too good this year, myself. Going to work these days gives me a heavy heart, because I also fear for my safety. Praying that this nightmare will be over. Take care everyone!  
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16
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It's Okay Not to be Okay
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Posted:Nov 13, 2020 5:09 am
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2020 11:36 am 17421 Views
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Single for more than 25 years now, and no "relationship" for more than 20 years, a lot of people might think, I am NOT okay. But here is the truth: I started longing belong someone "forever" in my 40's-50's. A series of wanna be's and prospective partners/lovers came and pffft .A heart badly broken was very careful not making any majo. r mistakes, and yes, you can say it over and over again...PICKY! Now, a senior citizen, I ran out of motivation, not wanting any of it anymore, and am just happily and contented single. I so learned love my space, my freedom, and my life, in general. I cannot complain. Now, the times that I wasn't okay, is now A-Okay. I am blessed.
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My Hunch
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Posted:Nov 6, 2020 4:42 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2020 2:55 am 17571 Views
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 When your wit or analytical sense outweighs your decorum, it makes you half polite.----Anonymous
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eb1209 is OUT, eeb1209 is IN.....
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Posted:Nov 5, 2020 8:10 pm
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2020 4:05 pm 18777 Views
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Hello Everyone!  It is . Do not worry, I am legitimate. I tried so hard retrieve my original handle "eb09", and even promised for gold membership for 6 months, but the Technical support of the main FFF office in California was of no help. So, I had no choice but create a similar handle replace the one, just in case my godiva0824 will vanish (God forbid). I lamented over the inaccessibility of my handle and blog page entitled " The Many Facets Of ". It is a consolation though that those who were following the posts of that blog page can still navigate all of the 20,985 posts I made since I joined FFF, year 2004. But, once you click the handle eb09, it says "member cannot be found"  The good thing is, godiva0824 was following the eb09 blog, so I can still view all of my posts using that other handle. But, everything else can no longer be officially retrieved by FFF. According the Tech Support, eb09 handle is no longer in their data base. So, please, bear with . I am getting re-acquainted here...Thank you all for keeping this website alive... MABUHAY! 
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