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More than what you know...

whichever way you go... I go the opposite..

men are such simple creatures...
Posted:Feb 8, 2006 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2006 6:53 pm
4413 Views
I was having my lunchbreak earlier in the office pantry next to two guys enjoying their pizza. I couldn't help overhearing snippets of their conversation since they were seating close to me. Apparently, they were raving about movies that they love. I was expecting them to mention maybe a stanley kubrick film or the latest movie of woody allen, but no. They were talking about 'The Longest Yard' & 'The Dukes of Hazzard' fer crying out loud! And these are men in their mid-twenties! They were even quoting lines from those movies! Unbelievable! Somewhere along the conversation, they started narrating all those old movies they love : 'The Mighty Ducks', 'Cannonball Run', etc ... Astig pre!
0 Comments
The Sound of One Heart Breaking
Posted:Feb 7, 2006 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2006 11:02 pm
3290 Views
The Sound of One Heart Breaking

by: Karen Kunawicz

What is the sound of a heart breaking?

It is the sound of someone curled up in a
tiny ball crying softly in the night,
the sound of the first unwanted teardrop
touching your skin, it's the sound of
a telephone that doesn't ring,
the sound of regret
pounding inside your brain
with every heartbeat,
it's the whispers
of the toy animals he gave you.

It's the shuffling of feet
walking away from you,
the sound of your soul shattering
into a million pieces
at recognizing the word "goodbye,"
it’s the soundtrack of memories
torturing you, it's the sound of
feeble hands trying to push back
the obstinate hands of time,
it's the sound of a cherub's
dying breath, the sound of
all those years disappearing
in the vortex of Cupid's kitchen sink,
it's the unrelenting plaintive
baby meows of an abandoned kitten
outside an ignoring door.

It's the sound of the rain
that doesn't ever stop,
the sound of all the doors
shutting and closing in your face
at the same time, of raging,
howling storms in the night
when there's no one there to hold you,
the sound of your voice
as it screams back at you,
the echo of "I love yous"
burning holes in you,
the sound your heart makes
as it tells you to lie still
because nothing you will ever do
will matter without love.

The sound of the waves
of the polluted beach you went to
as it moves from the shore
and crashes inside your mind,
of the sniffles that make up your pathetic
"SOS-to-the-world," the cracking of the
brittle black-red petals
from the sidewalk vendor
roses he gave, the sound of the music
he used to make going to your gut.

The sound of things in your room
being thrown around
and landing on the floor,
the caress of kitchen knives on skin,
the sound your throat makes
as you swallow your saltiest tear.

It's the sound of your own voice
calling out to someone who isn't there,
of dying birds getting splattered
on a city pavement, of terms of endearment
used a hundred times a day
struggling to crawl into a
vacuum of forgetfulness,
it's the sound of your own sobs
keeping you company,
it's the cold, uncaring stillness of the air
you share your space with.

Destruction isn't always as noisy
as bombs exploding.
Sometimes the ultimate catastrophes
are as quiet as a feather
falling on the floor of a Zen monastery.
No one else can really hear
your heart breaking except you.
0 Comments
LOVE
Posted:Feb 7, 2006 6:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2006 11:03 pm
3119 Views
love is a concept conceived by man in order to feel good about himself...
0 Comments
Why is it so hard for me to forgive?
Posted:Feb 5, 2006 5:02 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm
4258 Views
Why is it so hard for me to forgive?
Its when I don't know what I did wrong to deserve that kind of treatment from other people.

Its when I know I have a point but I still end up misunderstood, or worse, not being heard at all.

Its when I treated them so uberly nice that I went overboard just to please them and what I do get in return is not something I never wanted to expect from them.

Its when someone betrays my trust. I could easily trust people judging with what my instinct tells me and how well I get along with them, once gone, its pretty hard to hard to restore it.

Its when someone came along to save me from the misery I shoved myself into, made me realize that I shouldnt be punishing myself for other people and being too unselfish is way too bad, esp. for me. He changed me. Or atleast he was my catalyst.

How I wish he'd stay. Not just enough time for payback--enough time for me love him for all he's worth. Too much to ask and way too much to wish but I know, somehow, in some other ways, he feels the same.

Please.

Stay.

With me.
0 Comments
Some more realization...
Posted:Feb 1, 2006 3:58 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm
4132 Views
I realized that people put their hopes too much on hope. No matter how bleak future presents itself, we still hope that things would work out the way we want it to be. Perhaps we are such inately optimistic beings.

On the other hand, no matter how much we tell ourselves not to regret things because it's such a waste of time, we still consciously or unconsciously regret things. I realized that to regret something is not really that bad. For things you can't do anything about, for things that are beyond repair, for things that are intrinsically regretful, its ok to regret them. Its one of coping's phases. At least you can tell yourself that you were able to accept the tradegy of the things that came your way. And you were able to do something about it.
0 Comments
Something to write...
Posted:Jan 29, 2006 1:46 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm
3114 Views
The urge to write almost always comes during this time of the morning, this time when my shift almost ends. Time now is 6:35, just an hour and a half to go before I go home. I just have this sudden rush to write something though I do not have anything in mind to write about. Maybe I just miss writing. I have been quite silent the past months ( real writings ) that it is only now that I am beginning to have this urge to write again. Maybe I was just too busy writing for my assignments that I lost this desire to jot down anything more. Writing papers have drained me mentally that I wished nothing else, but to sleep. No wonder I am getting a little thin these days. =D

whatever it was that stopped me from writing, I hope that I have now overcome it. Don't get me wrong. I am not writing just for people to read about my life. I write because I just want to. There is this tingling sensation on my fingers sometimes that just makes me visit this blog site in a snap. Just like this one. Can you observe that I just going round and round and round without any topic in mind and this entry is getting longer as I press the keys on my keyboard? Well, don't mind me. I still have an hour to spare. I just want to do something to keep myself awake.

Just an hour to go.......................
Just an hour to go......................
Just an hour to go.....................
Just an hour to go....................
Just an hour to go...................
Just an hour to go..................
Just an hour to go.................
Just an hour to go................
Just an hour to go...............
Just an hour to go..............
Just an hour to go.............
Just an hour to go............
Just an hour to go...........
Just an hour to go..........
Just an hour to go.........
Just an hour to go........
Just an hour to go.......
Just an hour to go......
Just an hour to go.....
Just an hour to go....
Just an hour to go...
Just an hour to go..
Just an hour to go.
Just an hour to go
Just an hour to g
Just an hour to
Just an hour to
Just an hour t
Just an hour
Just an hour
Just an hou
Just an ho
Just an h
Just an
Just an
Just a
Just
Just
Jus
Ju
J
0 Comments
How true?
Posted:Jan 28, 2006 1:09 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm
3205 Views
To be lost in translation is like testing how at ease you are with being with yourself. It's like trying to make a conversation that brings out issues you'd rather not face.

All of a sudden, you become aware of every irrelugarity and every sensation that creates several positive and negative effects.

If all of a sudden, you come into a realization that you enjoy conversing with the tiny persons that are within you, only then will you be sure that you love the YOU that emerged amidst all the other YOUs that could've been. In that moment, you would have accepted the truth that YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE. You just feel.
0 Comments
Realizations
Posted:Jan 28, 2006 1:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm
4309 Views
Yesterday, I was reminded yet again of how unfair life is. How fragile a new life can be. And how people change in times of adversity.

I realized that I can love and hate at the same time. That I am capable of feeling that much anger. That I can still cry for someone I have never met. That things happen for reasons only God can explain.

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. And I don't understand how the world kept on spinning when the lives of the people I love fell apart.
0 Comments
It does makes a difference...
Posted:Jan 26, 2006 12:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm
2822 Views
Sometimes all you really need is one single event in your life, or a single song, or a single movie, or a simple text message to make a very big difference in your life. Mine was a simple poem. I came across it during High School on my final year as one of those prerequisit public speeches S.I.S. forced us to do in order for us to graduate. Of course having MG (Memory Gap /short term memory) had a big effect on me memorizing the damn thing and issues with speaking infront of large crowds (a dilibitating fear, no less). Though the effect of the poem is still well within me. I thought I should share it to you in hopes that it might have an effect on you like it did with me.

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
0 Comments
..and more...
Posted:Jan 23, 2006 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm
2868 Views
It is sometimes unfortunate that the people we love choose not to love us back. I believe that we all have a match in this world, and when one's attempt at a relationship fails, it simply means that the relationship is not meant to be.

This could be easily dealt with if only our emotions were not involved, but more often than not, the heart rules strongly over our head. your life should not be dependent on someone else's presence. You have to strive to be happy even without "Lucchi"

You are missing an opportunity to be happy with someone else. Someone who will not consciously avoid you but choose to be with you. Someone who will not just listen when you say "I love you," but someone who will say it, too, and love you even more.
0 Comments

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