The heat is on!
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Posted:May 9, 2005 6:43 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1641 Views
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Im crawling out of my skin!
I hate this heat!!! I'm having a pimple break out and I have to bathe more than thrice in a day...
Man, I'm turning into a hag. I had my orientation for my piano lesson with Ayke. T'was fun. I saw another Piolo Look-alike. Tried hard not to drool.
Shoot. I should really learn how to save. Im running low on cash all the time and worse, I'm getting addicted again to new schools for learning... like... ahh... piano lesson, next is... Taekwondo... yaiks...
Can you believe it? I was actually included in the badminton game team for our village sportsfest. great, another chance for me to humiliate myself.
You see, good thing I've never been called out for the volleyball team, I'm afraid of balls (not all kinds of balls, though. hehehe... I do like other balls, ahem, squidballs and fishballs). I had this traumatic experience when I was in grade 6. I was on my way to the clinic because I was having a bad case of migraine. The clinic was situated at the end of Court A so I had to pass by a group of high school boys playing basketball. And again, what are the chances that I'll get hit on the head by a basketball when I was on my way to the clinic to get rid of a headache?
Adding insult to the injury, and I meant this literally, all the people there laughed at me...
SO there... I cant wait to play volleyball I mean... badminton.
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Another night at Starbucks
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Posted:May 9, 2005 1:59 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1772 Views
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Just trying to figure out what's been happening in my life these past couple of weeks. I've fallen too deeply. and fallen so hard. now I don't know if I can ever get up. and get out.
one... two... no, 4 Cup of mocha latte in one sitting. not even enough to clear my clouded mind. and heart. even the sky is one with my sorrow. nimbuses racing above. there's light rain like tears silently rolling down my eyes... only there's no physical trace.
there's no spark in this heart. no stars in the sky.
I used to be alone, but never lonely. now i'm both...
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Some Dumb Yet Profound Thoughts That Have Crossed My Mind Recently
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Posted:May 9, 2005 1:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1586 Views
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Some Dumb Yet Profound Thoughts That Have Crossed My Mind Recently
I have no idea sometimes why such silly things go through my brain. But hey, why ask why - they just do. At least it means my brain isn't dead.
- Why is there an Easter Bunny and not and Easter Chicken?? I thought it was chickens that lay eggs and not bunnies.
-A friend of mine went on vacation with his wife to Cuba and got stuck there because he misplaced his green card. His wife and made it back to the States as schedules, but he wound up staying behind for an additional 10 days before he could leave the island. Even after he returned, his job and family were ready and waiting to welcome him back. Hmmmm..... I think next time I go on vacation to a beautiful international spot I'll conveniently lose my passport too!!
-my boss ( twa's way back when I'm still with my boss Sarge over at Magic 89.9 ) : "Hey May, remind me to take my medicine tomorrow when we drive out on business to Baguio".... me: "No problem boss! And just to think, even if you have a heart attack and die, I can save you because I know how to do CPR!" .... my boss: "That would be great. Only thing is my medicine is for my bladder, not my heart."... me (thinking to myself): "God I hope he doesn't think I can rescue him from having to pee on the way."
-There's so many leftovers in the fridge, I don't know what to eat. Wanna go out???
-"Hi, my name is May." *shake appendages*
-Whoever heard of a priest asking for money for the church before he gives his sermon... or wait... perhaps that is sermon.... hmmmm
-Why are there never any cucumbers at the salad bar at my last school? Does the cucumber monster come along and eat them knowing I'm on the way to eat?? *ugh*
-Poorer people are happier. They don't know what they're missing and learn to be happier with less simply because they have to. So if poor equates to simplicity of life, why is it that crime and poverty mutually breed each other? Does that mean crime is just plain simple??
-Does everything happen for a reason? I think so. You're giving me that weird look for the simple reason you think I'm nuts for saying that.
ok.... so maybe I'm going nuts.... =) who gives a shit.... I'm happy now. =).... STILL.
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Lullabye
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Posted:May 7, 2005 11:50 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1603 Views
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It was going to be another sleepless night.
I was about to turn back the bedcovers, when the door creaked.
The storm brought him in. He was an intimidating yet welcome presence in my doorstep. I beckoned, and in a few strides, I was in his arms. He held me tighter and breathed the scent of me in. I sighed.
As the storm raged outside, flames were lit. We melded...fused. Fiercely.
I could feel my heart reverberate against my chest and though I was catching my breath, I didn't feel tired or sleepy at all. I felt invigorated, yet he persuaded me to lie against him while his magical fingers sensuously stroked my hair. His skin was warm, his perfume, mixed with mine hung in the air, I could not resist the urge to rain a few kisses near the hollow of his neck, as I snuggled closer.
His hands were now trailing down my spine, awakening every nerve ending, while he murmured softly in my ear, evoking sensations. I could no longer comprehend his words he must have been speaking in foreign tongues. I could only feel.
His familiar touch brings me to exciting heights, and a sense of calm, all at the same time. I was seduced into closing my eyes and soon, I was leisurely drifting off to sleep, and I acceded for I know, come morning, it would be him that my eyes would first rest on when I wake.
This is when dreams and reality fuse. I would be worlds away, dreaming of happy endings and forever after, yet the touch of the hand skimming my brow, the lips brushing against my temples, the tender words of security whispered against my ear, the tongue flicking against my earlobe, and the snug body against mine anchors me to reality.
My lips broke out into a big grin as I delved deeper into slumber. In the middle of the night, I could feel his body mold against mine, his arms around my waist, his breath tickling my neck as I rubbed my toes against his leg in gratitude.
I slowly opened my eyes, and I knew I was cocooned in my blanket the way I liked. This was definitely the best sleep I've had in a long time.The sun was up and about, as if there wasn’t a storm the day before. Instinctively, I reached beside me to give him an appreciative kiss.
All I grabbed was a pillow. There was nobody beside me. No imprint of his body on the bed. No scent of his hair on the pillow. No clothes scattered on the floor. The room was spinning crazily; I lied back down and close my eyes.
The events of the night came back to me in a vivid slideshow. His smoldering gaze. His smile. His touch. His presence. His words.
Gingerly, I opened my eyes, and a bright smile emerged from my lips. Last night was a promise. He will come. That was what he kept telling me. Who knows when, or how? Maybe when the next storm sets in, he will. Maybe by then, he will come with a name. And a face. OR BETTER YET.. NOT ANYMORE!
For now, I’m going out. It’s such a beautiful day.
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Tell Me
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Posted:May 6, 2005 4:06 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1434 Views
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Tell me.
Is this the price that I have to pay?
Is this the reply to all my e-mails?
Is this your style of ‘turning away’?
Is this the start of the ‘real’ pain?
Is this what you want?
Is this what must be?
Tell me,
Then I’ll let it be.
Tell me.
And I’ll believe,
These are signs.
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Anthem
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Posted:May 6, 2005 3:32 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1706 Views
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here's my ultimate current fave song. i can't get enough of it. suuuper. i like the song's meaning also. fave lines?look at the highlighted ones.i'm sure you'll dig this too.so..come. turn your speakers on.eavesdrop. i don't mind. 
"Sleeps With Butterflies"
Tori Amos
Airplanes
Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net
You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'M NOT LIKE THE GIRLS THE YOU'VE KNOWN
BUT I BELIEVE I'M WORTH COMING HOME TO
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly...then... boy
Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere
I'M NOT LIKE THE GIRLS THE YOU'VE KNOWN
BUT I BELIEVE I'M WORTH COMING HOME TO
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly...boy...
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Summer heat. Dehydrated state. Prune-like existence.
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Posted:May 6, 2005 2:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1644 Views
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I am not complaining though. Every bit of ray this angry sun casts down, I must take pleasure in. Soon the spell of rain begins, and I will once again find myself in a setting so gloomy, depression is bound to be inevitable.
So today, I stare at my neighbor's silver roof and catch a reflection of the sun so intense it is almost blinding. The cooling fan is useless. The air it throws at my sweaty cheeks, stale and uninviting.
My body is drained of energy. But curiously, I think my brain is spared of the energy drain. It is functioning rather well. And I'm happy with that. Therewith to be content, in whatsoever state.
No compaints. I promise.
Well, except maybe for how stinky I am right now.
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Ladies and gentlemen, please be advised that commenting on an individual's overabundant triglycerides as an introductory greeting is rude, undignified, depressing. Ask about work. Or school. Or the meaning of life, for all I care. But please, leave the flab alone.
Must I remind you again?
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Psstt.... learn....
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Posted:May 5, 2005 3:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1613 Views
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I know it's in our human nature to want to have nice things in life. But oftentimes, we become too materialistic, status oriented and ego-centric. We start judging people by their outward appearance rather than their personality, their image rather than their character. There's a very strong indicator in life if one has a problem with financial values. They're called 'Doodads'. Doodads are anything material we use to either supplement our emotional inadequacy because our society compells us to 'keep up with the Joneses'.(New car, new jewelry, cellphone, etc etc.) Don't get me wrong. I find nothing totally wrong with wanting to be materially wealthy. I hate poverty too. But in most cases, it's the poverty in the mind that actually make us poor, and not the poverty in our wallets.
In this day and age, many people who seem wealthy are actually poor (living in debt) and the ones who don't look that rich are actually financially secure and are probably millionaires. We should correct this mentality. Our society and media are feeding us the wrong values. We have credit cards popping up all around, loans, easy payment/easy terms. People are led to the idea of the 'Get now/Pay later' mentality. Trust me, if you live that way and can't get out of the cycle, by the time you're 40 or 50, you won't have a single penny. Even if you have a job until 70, if your income doesn't exceed your expenses, you don't own anything. Your net worth is negative. You're poor. Net worth is the key factor guys!!!! How much money is left after you've paid off everything?
So what should we do?
1. Stop thinking poorly and start thinking richly
- Your value as a person is not tied up with the clothes you wear or the stuff that you show off. If you wanna be rich, then act like one. Rich people are secure in themselves and they don't feel compelled to always show off. I saw Robina Gokongwei once at a private gathering, she was neither wearing jewelry nor anything flambouyant.
2. You shouldn't live for Doodads
- It's all right to have the sports cars, the mansions, the condo, the jewelry and the expensive toys, but hey, make sure you live within your means. Never get yourself in frivolous debt, because debt is a cycle. Once you get in, you never know when you're gonna get out. If you want to acquire these things, focus your energies on how to increase your means of income, Legally. If you do that, you won't be wasting your time and you won't be getting yourself into trouble. Simple rule: "Don't spend money you don't have. And the money that you do, use it wisely because you never know when you'll have it." Learn the discipline of "DELAYED GRATIFICATION". Aside from that, I think the reason why people get corrupt or get into crime it's because they think that stealing and having more money is the goal. The real rich people in this world are the ones who are rich in family values, character and wallets. Those capitalists who strived to take themselves out of poverty through hard work and wise financial decisions. They didn't steal, they simply became wise, resulting in more money for them.
3. Save money
- In this day and age, it is important to save. Even that I don't have to explain to you.
4. Be financially literate
- Learn about money. Sometimes, we focus too much time in learning things that we know too well already. Why not learn something that we don't. Master how to manage your money.
5. Decide what to do with your financial future
- Whether as an employee, self-employed individual, businessman or investor, decide what you want and what will make you happy. If you're already contented with your status, stay as an employee or self employed person. If you want to achieve wealth, strive to become a businessman or investor. Wealth is a journey not a goal. The moment you start thinking correctly, money will stick to you like a magnet no matter where you go.
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Never...never again....never,unless...
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Posted:May 5, 2005 3:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1482 Views
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My grandma used to tell me to never say never. But then, as time passes, there are some things we realize...or accept, that will never happen. By acceptance, I do not mean give up. We accept, so as to regain a semblance of control and stability. We can't go hanging on forever. But there is always room for hope. Sometimes, the word never seals off the past, so we could move on...forward, for the time being. With the word never comes empowerment...strength, a promise, that would somehow allow us to get by.
There is the word never with no other attached word to it, pertaining to thing that have not or will not probably happen. There’s never again...attributed to things that have transpired, and will do everything in our power to not happen again. And there's the conditional never, unless, which cancels out the effect the word never entails.
Never comes with so much finality. That in it, to say the word is almost like a curse. However, the word never has not been utilized in its truest sense, to which even I am guilty of. I’ve said a lot of never's that I have after some amount of time, chewed on. A lot of never's that I thought won't happen, and a lot of those considerable never's. But sometimes...we just know...that it will never happen. Unless, of course, it does. 
***I may never be his Mrs. Walls^. I will never graduate with honors. I may never be the subject of his life, brimming with so much pride and bursting with so much passion. I may never be a writer,or a businesswoman, for that matter.. I can never pretend to be someone I am not. I might never have some people back in my life. I might never feel his lips on mine. I might never change to fit the mold. I may never see such pride or love in his eyes when it restson me. I may never again be the cause of one of smiles that would reach his eyes. I may never be the one he wakes up with every morning. I can never be coy. I may never be the one he'd rush home to. I may never be he one he'll ask to come away with him in his Mustang (*drools*). I might never be the subject of one of his photographs again. I might never get one of his surprise calls. I may never again get an email from him. I will never be the girl of his dreams. I may never be sane***
Never IS scary. And threatening. And it builds pressure. That's why we all jump with the mere mention of it.But then, that's the way it is.
I may never be this or that. I may not get there or be here again. I may never feel, taste, experience, sense, and smell a lot of thing...unless. We can never be so sure. But for one, I can say, with Codamon pride in full force, “I may never be...but then, I can be so much more. I can be me.”
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***- paragraph does not pertain to a single person. I’d like to acknowledge people from my past and part of my present for those memories where I drew that paragraph from.
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Complains
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Posted:May 4, 2005 8:22 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 1795 Views
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I have some personal mails from here.. complaining about my blogs... my posts...
according to them :
1. I am so deep. They can't read me
2. I use deep terminologies as well
3. I am too heavy to spell out.
4. They suggest that I use easily identified wordings and terms
5. They suggest to begin with an easy start of each of my blogs...
WELL I SUGGEST....
1. I am really deep, I suggest don't go deep down in me just to relate. And Im not asking you to read me.
2. Go get a dictionary and find the meaning of the words that you don't understand.
3. Well don't spell me... what do you think you should spell in me?
4. I suggest you don't read my blog if you know that I uses deep terms.... and wordings.
5. I suggest you write your own blogs and don't bother questioning mine.
.... Go get the idea of your own... don't bug me just to complain about my wordings and terminologies.... get it? if not?
get a life...
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