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Quote, unquote and misquote

I said I will be back perhaps wiser and younger. I am back, checked. Wiser? Learning to be. Younger? Damn I forgot to change those numbers around.
I have been reading your blogs many of you have mentioned their reasons for your blogs. Mine is just to share my experience, my thoughts and hopefully get an insight from you, make me wiser and have a good laugh
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Plan your leaving while still living.
Posted:Jan 9, 2015 4:46 am
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2015 2:30 am
132061 Views

We know with certainty that one thing will happen to us all and that is we will all have to leave the earth or pass away one day. What we don't know is when, where and how but whenever, wherever or however we die we are not able to take anything with us when the time comes. Some debts may be buried or written off although to some, unfortunately even debts are left behind to family's burden.

I know that when we pass away we are not able to take anything with us but this became more obvious to me when my husband passed away 2 years ago. He couldn't and probably wouldn't take with him the most precious to him, our family. I was shaken, saddened, depressed and unhappy obviously. Any material things I owned was meaningless then and until now. The only thing left that gave meaning to my life were my , my family. I gave away most of what I owned to my because I am very much ready to leave at the time and go with him. I am very aware that I can not bring any of these material things to my grave.

Though I thought I was ready to leave it wasn't my time yet. I definitely still miss my late husband but I am happy now, not because of anything else but mainly because I have detached myself from material things. I am happier now because I appreciate what is more important to me and that is my family. I enjoy every moment I spend with them. I don't care about material things anymore no matter how expensive they are. I plan to leave my family with happy memories of us together when I leave. My epitaph will probably read; "She was a free spirit , detached from material things, now that she's gone she left a lesson for the living".

Have you thought about what is most important to you? Do you spend more time with your material possession than with your loved ones? Have you thought about your epitaph?

3 Comments
The Road Signs
Posted:Dec 31, 2014 5:16 am
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2015 3:09 pm
132087 Views

When you travel by road, do you take notice and read the road signs? I think most people do, otherwise we will not remember our route or will not know if we are on the right direction. I am sure we are mostly very aware and cautious if we are new to the place or do not know exactly where we are going. Some drivers rely totally on road signs or landmarks rather than street names or addresses. Nowadays, even if many people rely on GPS or electronic navigators we still notice the signs and these road signs get embedded in our subconscious. It is those road signs that we remember and gives us deja vu feelings sometimes.

Life is a journey and yes we see signs in our life but we sometimes don't take notice or worse we totally ignore them. Relationship is part of our life so it is part of the journey and in relationship there are signs that we need to pay attention to and analyze if we are on the right road to our destiny. One party may take a left turn or right turn but either will lead to you. May take a U - turn and eventually leave you wondering or may go around in circles and just use you. Read the signs and analyze them so you know when to say stop, this is not going anywhere and then perhaps take another route to your destiny. Do not ignore the signs that the other party is not in the same route you have hoped to. Don't leave it to late to find out that when you think you have reached your destination there's no one there to meet you. That you were alone on the journey all along when there could have been someone else.

Happy New Year may we all have a good journey to our destiny this coming year..
6 Comments
Scary words to ponder.
Posted:Dec 22, 2014 1:34 am
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2015 3:01 pm
132576 Views

Can you think of a word, whether used alone or in a sentence, that can send someone into panic? You can probably come up with many but I do not mean hate words or swear words not even horrific or horror words. Just simple words used in everyday conversation but sometimes depends on the situation can send down shivers into one's spine. I just got one in the mail today and I have been sleepless since then. Can you guess what word will that be?

When I was a little girl if my mother use the word "now" in the end of her statement then that means I'm in trouble. Like; " I want you to come up here now!" Oh my what did I do? I asks myself. I remember my reactions, scared, worried, wondering, thinking of a reason, scratching my head or acting like a little angel. Lots of po or opo,"Opo" is the polite way to say "yes" in Tagalog. "Po" doesn't have a particular meaning, but using it when speaking expresses respect for the person you are talking to. As I grew older I got used to the now and did not bother me as much. As a mother I used the same "now" word to my when I want them to pay close attention and I have seen same reactions, that is when they were little .

Looking back it is not really the "now" that made me panic then, it's what follows the "now". Do you get what I mean? The fear of the unknown that follows that conversation with mom. Will I be grounded, will I be punished, will she believe me? The "now" is just a door to consequences or the future. As I grew older I learned how to reason, I have learned between the right and the wrong so when I hear the word now I just take it as it is specially if I did not do anything wrong in the past. Literally, now is not scary if you made all the right choices in the past. Now is the door to the future and destination of the past.

As an adult there is one word that could be scary. That is the word "urgent". Did you thought of the same word? Remember the old days when we still use telegraphs? Nowadays we use telephone or e mails. "Urgent" when used in a certain ways can be scary. How will you react to messages like: "come home, urgent." or "this needs urgent attention" or "make an urgent appointment with your doctor" or "I want to see you urgently"

Now for me, since the new year is coming up I made a decision to view my past and make an urgent plan for the new year. I have to change my priorities and make right choices. I decide to choose happiness no matter what. I now invite you to do the same, make it urgent, in time for the new year. We have 9 days to make a plan or turnaround.

Let us celebrate the now for allowing the future in and letting go of the past.

Cheers.

7 Comments
Perfume or pheromone, anyone?
Posted:Dec 16, 2014 11:16 am
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2015 12:47 am
133405 Views

I was looking at some perfumes today, around this time of the year there are many special sale. Perfume is a common present around the holidays. To some people, I was told, it is offensive to give perfume because it may be mistaken as an insult but that is probably an exemption. Perfume has revolutionized and has become more affordable, even the very expensive scents can now be imitated to produce a cheap one, an imitation but not fake. They are now called designer inspired. A perfume can be eau de cologne, eau de toilette or eau de parfum depending on their concentration or dilution.

Looking at the perfumes reminded me of pheromones. Pheromones are chemicals secreted by animals, including humans, that affects the behaviour of another animal or individual. Pheromones in animals have been proven to initiate mating behavior. In human beings, some researchers debate if they truly affect sexual behaviors of human beings. Some entrepreneurs have taken advantage of these theories and created scents or pills that they say has pheromones. Maybe many believed and bought their products. There was even a movie inspired by this a murder mystery movie titled "perfume".

The pheromones that are related to sexual attraction are classed as releaser , they elicit rapid and reliable response. If pheromones do work for human beings why are we so obsessed about smelling nice, washing away body odor and even using perfumes? Pheromones are detected through smell from the body but body odor is also affected by food, medicine, illness and of course washing. Maybe we use perfume as pheromone substitute? There was once a TV show I watched that tested if a blind folded partner is able to identify their partner by their smell. From what I have watched most of them are able to identify their partners by their smell. Having a heightened sense of smell I think I can identify my partner too.

I have a preference to natural smell over perfume as long as it is a clean smell, I don't mind the smell of sweat as long as they had a shower on that day. A bad smell like smelly armpit, smelly feet or bad breath are a total turn off. Even if layered with perfume, we can still tell. I wonder if perfumes enhances pheromones.

I read somewhere that since men like manly perfume then woman should wear manly perfume to attract men and vise versa.. I thought how silly, why would a man like his lady partner smelling like a man and vise versa? I jokingly advised someone to use baby cologne because no woman can resist the smell of a baby.

Now if you can tell me .do you like your partner wearing perfume? What perfume do you like?

14 Comments
This is when I leave you.
Posted:Dec 7, 2014 11:06 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2014 10:27 pm
132624 Views

I was watching a movie yesterday titled, "This is when I leave you." Picture this scene from the movie in your mind and tell me what your reaction is. Husband is rushing home to surprise his wife because it was their 3rd wedding anniversary. He brought home a cake with 3 candles, lighted them and brings the cake inside their room. Husband opens the door and find his wife in bed making love with his boss on their wedding anniversay. Obviously he was shocked, speechless, turned around and walk out the door. Sat on the table quietly and blow the candles. I say wtf that's all? I would like him to throw the cake to their faces that would have been more realistic, wouldn't it?

Well obviously we all react differently, some bottle up their angers while others are more vviolent and volatile. Fast forward the movie, the woman then found out that she is pregnant and told the husband that it was his. He was thrilled about it specially after hearing the fetus heartbeat via ultrasound. To cut it short they are getting back together despite the wife having an affair with his boss for about one year. Seriously? Was the writer out of his mind? There's a little twist, the husband met an old friend and slept together one night. This girl has been in love with him and he had some feelings for her too.

One day while he was with the other woman his phone rang , it is his wife having bleeding and possible miscarriage. The girl heard and push him to go to his wife. In the hospital the husband's boss also came rushing to the rescue even kissing his wife in front of him. Again to cut the story short his boss, the other man is leaving his wife behind because he doesn't want responsibility looking after a step . The other man leaves, easy for him, it was just an affair . The husband is also leaving the other girl and staying with his wife because they are having a baby.

Unbelieveable! So when will you leave someone you love? is it really easier to leave an affair? This is just a movie I know but it can possibly happen in real life. If you were the main character, the one who was cheated on , on your wedding anniversary, will you stay just because you are having a baby? I am sure we will have different opinions. I want to know, when will you leave someone you love? What will it take to leave?
6 Comments
Pre-requisite to love.
Posted:Nov 24, 2014 7:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2015 3:10 pm
132413 Views

We have heard or read many different quotes about love, from subtle to the extremes. Such as I will love you forever or even after life. I will love you above all things. I will die for you. We hear a lot of these in wedding when couples make their marriage vows, such as in sickness and in health. I don't believe everyone is capable of loving and there are circumstances that love will have to come later and that includes making love. Do you believe that love should come first? If you do think again.

I would like to apply Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory in relation to a man and woman's needs in a relationship. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory in psychology, love and belonging comes only third among all human needs. In his theory there are 5 needs that comes in order, namely: 1, physiological needs 2.safety needs 3. love and belonging 4.esteem 5. Self actualization. Maslow's theory suggests that the most basic level of needs must be met before the individual will strongly desire the secondary or higher level needs.

Physiological needs are the physical needs of the body to function normally, they are the most important needs and should be met first. The second level needs is that of safety. Safety and security needs includes personal security, financial security, health and wellbeing. If we are safe then we are capable of meeting our love and belonging needs.The third need is the need for love and belonging, it is a very broad context but for this blog I am referring to love and intimacy between couples in a relationship. It is a human need to love and be loved and these needs need to be met.

Not very simplistic? Well let's make it simple. To love is to live, to live is to have air, water, food and health. To love, we have to feel safe. It is not possible to express love if one always feels threatened, such as being violated. It is hard to meet our love needs if we don't have security, if we constantly worry about the future. These constant threat can lead to stress that stops us from expressing love. In short in order to meet our love needs in a relationship we need to meet or provide the physical and safety needs first.

Love alone is not enough, that simple. There are pre-requisites.


9 Comments
To do or not to do, my mantra.
Posted:Nov 19, 2014 6:24 pm
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2014 3:41 pm
132150 Views

I can't believe that there has been a time that I wished I have my mother or my sisters to tell me not to do it. Just like when I was a they tell you not to go with a guy who is up to no good. I being a good listen but there has been a time that I have defied them and was a bit rebellious. Nowadays as a mature person I have to make my own decision. I decide on everything that concerns my life. I must admit that not all my decisions were good so I end up with consequences. I can ask my or friends but of course the final decision will be mine alone. I miss the days when I am told straight up with a threat, "Don't do it." The old fashioned Filipino parenting ways.

Now that I have to decide on my own I have developed my own mantra to help me decide and guide me in my decision. My mantra is: "Don't do it if you will be ashamed even to talk about it, Don't do it if you are not going to be proud of it." Sometimes it is so easy to get carried away and be persuaded to do things we can't be proud of. If you are faced with such a dilemma stop for a minute and ask yourself. Is this something I will not be ashamed to talk about ? Is this something I can be proud of? If you answer no then I guess thats what you should do even if what you do gives you happiness because in the end it will just ruin your self esteem.

Are you facing a cross road whether to do or not to do? If you are, ask yourself, will your decision make you proud? Well if none of that applies you can always toss a coin or draw sticks. Such as what will I do for dinner? Cook or take out. Cook maybe will make me proud but dine out makes me more relaxed. So toss a coin , I have a biased coin my cooking always loses.

Do you have a mantra that you want to share? Please do.
6 Comments
When is long distance relationship, long enough?
Posted:Nov 16, 2014 6:19 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2015 9:38 pm
133362 Views

Way back in January I blogged about a guy asking if I want to be his on-line lover I thought that was a silly question and an obvious invitation to a game. Having said that I still believe that it is possible to really fall in love with someone you met on-line though I still don't believe you fall in-love on the first chat. I believe it takes time for the feelings to develop, though may not take that long. How soon you fall in love is not the problem but rather how long you stay in love. Particularly in a virtual, long distance relationship.

In my case it doesn't take me that long to fall in love but I am in control of my emotions, most of the time. I can easily go into relationship because I believe you will only know the person really well when you are in a relationship. I can also easily turn my back once I know that the person is not what I thought he was or is not deserving of my attention or if I have been cheated on. I am totally devoted to someone deserving.

Falling in love and going into long distance virtual relationship is possible. I also blogged about ways to make long distance relationship work. True,there are many ways to communicate. Text messages, emails, phone, social media and snail mail. You can even see each other on video cam. Like many things it is easier said than done. My dilemma is how long will such a relationship last? Is there a future for it to become real and proximal from virtual and distal? If so how long should you stay virtual? When do you pull the plug?

I say if you are hoping for it to become real and you don't see signs of it becoming one, it's better to pull the plug as early as possible and move on. If all you hear are promises and nothing happens. If they avoid the topic of being together like a plague. If you are not included in their future plans. No attempt to introduce you to their families or friends or no discussion about them. If there's no real effort from them to be with you other than on-line. Only contacts you if they need something and doesn't really want to know what you have to say. Beware, these are alarm bells if you experience them , then thats a time to wake up, get up and move on with your life.

If you are in a virtual relationship, when is enough, enough? When do you say this has got to stop? When is long distance relationship too long? One year or two? If it is an engagement how long should that be?
13 Comments
Stress
Posted:Nov 6, 2014 5:37 am
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2014 12:57 am
131601 Views

Stress , yes we all get them, though others may get them often than the rest and we all react differently to them. We get them from the time we are conceived. Feeling stress is a sign of life.Some think of ending stress by ending life, sad but true. We get to see a stress reaction from the time we are born from a baby's cry. The newborn's cry is a reaction to stress of environment change from the mother's warm environment to cold air or hot air. We are forced to breath on our own and use our lungs for the first time. What a stress for a newborn and the only reaction is to cry. Yet that cry is stress reliever to the parents and everyone witnessing the birth. What a relief to hear that cry after hours of labor. On the other hand the newborn's stress is relieved by reassuring, warm, tenderly cuddle from the mother. Oh the beauty of life and love!

Well stress doesn't end in that cry unfortunately. I remember how stressed I was looking after my youngest born then because of his eczema. He would cry non stop and I get all stressed and can't help him. I have tried many things but nothing really worked. Imagine that stress from frustration and lack of sleep for both of us. Thank God we both got thru that with no after effects. My is now 16, a loving, caring .

We react to fight stress differently, these are what I do:
I pray.
I cry.
I write, can you tell I have been stressed today?
I eat and eat more.
I walk or work out.
I lock myself in the room, scream, swear and punch my pillow. LOL
I talk to someone.
I sleep.

Whatever I do I wake up and bounce back recharged and ready to fight again. I was under stressed today but I received a card from someone and the stress is relieved. Steer away from temporary stress reliever like alcohol or drugs, they just mask the stress but the truth is they will lead to more stress, physically, mentally and socially. Our reaction of course depends on how big the matter is but if it is small stuff then why get stressed right? Surely, easier said than done. Like I said stress is a sign of life so rejoice if we can feel stress that means we are alive.

How do you react to stress? What do you do to fight it and bounce back?

5 Comments
The Wait,
Posted:Nov 4, 2014 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2015 11:31 pm
131335 Views

When everything's been said and done
I doubt that you will never come.

Wishes promises stay as they are
because distance is way too afar

what one can and should do?
other than wait and wait for you?

Have I given you time to prove to me
To show what the future for us can be?

How long must I wait, how long must I stay
To see there's light at the end of the day

one month, one year or eternity dear?
to be with you and forever be near

have I been fooled? have I been played?
this question always cross my way.

Who can answer but you and me
yet it remains a mystery

calls you made and card you sent
to me they are time well spent

Tell me please, tell me soon
Do not wait for the blue moon

Be fair be square and just tell me
If there's a light that you can see.

How long must one wait or stay to see?
a proof that he is worthy of thee?

Wait is not just 'bout time and distance
It is a decision on your stance.


5 Comments

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