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Quote, unquote and misquote

I said I will be back perhaps wiser and younger. I am back, checked. Wiser? Learning to be. Younger? Damn I forgot to change those numbers around.
I have been reading your blogs many of you have mentioned their reasons for your blogs. Mine is just to share my experience, my thoughts and hopefully get an insight from you, make me wiser and have a good laugh
.

Meeting of some FFF chatters (caption please)
Posted:Aug 27, 2014 9:59 am
Last Updated:Feb 26, 2018 4:43 pm
131603 Views
Tuesday , August 26, 2014 first day back to work and hool after a long weekend. Classes were suspended in Manila because of floods. It has been raining really heavy the night before. The traffic? heavy is an understatement. There is probably more than 1 kilometer long in line for MRT. I have to take a taxi from Trinoma to SM Mega mall and took me about 3 hours to get there where it normally will take 10 minutes on no traffic days. With all of those possible hindrance you will think it will not proceed but who cares about the weather, the traffic, the travel time and all? We are all for fun so we all came as planned.

Mumay was sick but was very gracious to join and keep her pain invisible to us. ZB was dropped off by her and was also with her cute grandson. Tippy toes is her usual cool self despite having to drive in traffic all the way to SM MOA and back. Mavilongsotto has to take public transport all by herself. Cris1961, Mumay and Bratinella were together when we saw them waiting outside. I forgot to ask if they arrived together.

It was first time for me, mumay, zb and tippy toes to attend an eb. It was fun, exciting, memorable, enjoyable and happy meeting. I can't deribe the experience in just word but it's definitely something we all wanted and agreed to repeat. The laughter were constant and the goodbyes were long.

Do try it sometime or maybe join us next time? See you then?
(3 after the 3 in the front from left to right met again in MOA).


7 Comments
Reconciliation; another lesson from my journey.
Posted:Aug 23, 2014 12:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2014 9:44 am
130382 Views

Me: "Whenever we can, we should visit people first rather than places because people will not be around forever but places stay." I did practiced what I preached in my recent trip to Arizona and boy the result of that was more than I expected.

Let me go back in time a little. You see, I had a falling out with my former in-laws over some silly matters but later I found out that they cheated us of some money. They were all mean, narrow minded and one sided. They did not want to listen to us, they brush us off. We apologized , though we did not need to yet it fell on deaf ears.So I closed all form of communication with them.

Incidentally that event brought me here in FFF. There was no one to talk to so I searched for a Filipino forum to vent out and on my search FFF appeared. At that time I was very angry and I have no intention of having any form of ties or communication with my ex in-laws. I hated them, did not want anything to do with them and neither did they. That was almost a year ago now.

Fast forward about 1 month ago. I met an old time friend in USA and in our conversation I mentioned about my in-laws. At that time he has just been from a church service and the teachings were about reconciliation. He said what are the odds that you talk to me about your anger and here I am ready to share to you about reconciliation. He even showed me a video of Rick Warren's teaching.

In his teachings pastor Rick talked about the 7 Steps on How to Resolve a Conflict and Restore Relationship. ( I may blog about that in details later.) According to him the only way to resolve a conflict is to face it. Wow I thought is it a coincidence or is it a real message to me? I did learned a lot from his preaching so I did try it.

To cut the story short I made the first move, I reconciled with my in laws. Visited them in Arizona and gave them genuine loving hug.. I did not even say anything about our conflict, my sentiments or my anger. Tears fell from my mother in-laws ayes when we left them. Like the saying goes; action speaks louder than voice.

Two days later my in laws called my and they apologized to her. They were tearful. The bitch in me is grinning and says: who's sorry now and who is laughing now? The good one in me says: Thank you God for enlightenment and peace.

It was a real relief to get a conflict resolved. The heaviness in my chest is gone. I am happier and at peace with myself. The anger that crippled me temporarily disappeared. I sleep better knowing I can manage my own conflict. I am now also emotionally stronger.

Heard the song "let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me,?Are you in conflict with anyone? Do you find it hard to forgive and forget? If you focus on the benefits of resolving the conflict, then you will probably take the initiative to reconcile. Do it , it's worth it.
0 Comments
Is he interested?
Posted:Aug 22, 2014 2:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 10, 2015 9:02 pm
132744 Views

Wow like they say time flies when you are having fun. I have been on holiday going on 6 weeks now. Stayed 3 weeks in LA and 3 weeks in Philippines. I promised I will share my experience to some people here. It was overall a happy holiday meeting my family in LA. Unfortunately I was unable to meet any fff members when I was in USA though there were plans. I met old classmates and of course mostly family.

I met an old suitor from way back in university. He is now twice divorced. His 2 marriages lasted 10 years each. He has not been in any new relationship for the past 3 years. We went out for dinner twice and we talked on the phone. We talked about life and of course the past.

Silly me, I was hoping he will state his interest in me, but like in the past he never did. We call them "torpe" (sheepish). He said I was more than a crush way back then and he said he will miss me. That's all. He said keep in touch but he never does. I really enjoyed being with him but I don't think he is romantically interested.

He showed gentlemanly gestures but could hardly look me in the eye. There were some awkward moments but I really enjoyed my time with him. It was good while it last. I take that he is not romantically interested, he is not ready for another relationship or he thinks I'm not ready. I don't assume anything.

Well I can only guess. Shall I ask him? Should I be bold to take further steps and flirt with him? Nah, never, I don't think he's worth it. If he really liked me he should take further steps. Right? What do you think?

More coming up, meanwhile I will be waiting for your comments. I will still be in Phil until the 27th I still have some time for eb. Let me know if you want us to meet for lunch but no buffet please! LOL
11 Comments
Making Long Distance Relationship Work.
Posted:Jul 2, 2014 7:57 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2014 3:19 am
131701 Views

I have been curious and contemplating about long distance relationship. Does it work? How can it last? Well, out of curiosity I searched online and voila heaps of information and suggestions out there. I do not know what really works but in my experience in the past it had worked but I believe time is an important element. I mean it depends how long you intend to be in LDR, I believe it is likely to fail if you keep it for too long or don’t do anything about it to keep it alive.

I found these very useful information from the net on how to make long distance relationship work. It is divided into 5 parts.

1: Preserving normalcy: Communicate in some way every day,( repeat and emphasize EVERYDAY), more than once if possible. Work around your schedule. To most women this is a must. Get to know each other. Just like any proximal relationship, you'll have to spend some time really getting to know and understand your partner. Visit whenever you can. Support each other even when you are in a distance.

Create trust. Just as with traditional relationships, trust is incredibly important. Avoid temptations. Try your best to be faithful, lest you destroy the trust on which your relationship relies. Avoid putting yourself in situations where you would be tempted, and let your partner know that there's nothing to worry about. *Don't be too anxious or jealous if you don't always know what they are doing. A little space is harmless and will definitely keep things calm.

2: Doing things together: I hear you say what?! How? Well this is what I discovered. Share something on the net, read same books, watch same movie, do same things at the same time. Take advantage of the internet and social media by being part of same group. Learn together like learning a language together or taking an online class together. Maybe cook together or share recipe.

3: Bonding:Is that at all possible? From these suggestions I think it is. Send snail mails or cards. Pursue interest together such as movie, books or sports or a more romantic stargazing while you are on the phone if you are on the same time zone. Create connections. Meet one another's friends, online or off. If one of you must someday move so that you can be together, that person will be leaving friends behind.

This is interesting but not as we know it, sleep together. On a phone call before bed, let each other know which side of the bed you are lying on. Then you two can lie on the opposite, and pretend you are with them while you sleep. Fall asleep together on Skype now and then to help maintain love in the relationship. When you wake up in the morning the first thing you will see is your partner

4: Set Expectations and Boundaries: This entails understanding and clearly defining what you are or where you are in your relationship. Create trust. Talk about your goals and support and encourage each other. Talk about your future together including your doubts, uncertainty and fears. Prioritize the time you do share.

5: Staying Happy: These are some recommendations to stay happy. Keep a piece of them with you. No not a body piece. Keep something of theirs and leave something of yours. Leave your scent behind. Keep your angst in check, Have reasonable expectations. See the similarities with proximal relationship and last but not least stop listening to haters.

WOW sounds like it is not too hard and it is doable, but the question is how long? Have you done it? How did you go about it? Do absence makes the heart grow fonder or does it make it tired and forget? No, I am not in LDR.

I absolutely admire all those who were able to withstand long distance relationship with no major problems and to those who are contemplating all the best to you
.
7 Comments
Will you take a cheater back?
Posted:Jun 13, 2014 5:51 pm
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2014 9:52 am
137636 Views

No , this isn't about me. It's about a friend , he was divorced for less than a year. Apparently the wife cheated on him. She had a four weeks relationship with her own boss. My friend found about the infidelity through another friend. They have been together for 30 yrs and now divorced. The wife broke up with the other man when she found out that he also has other woman. and now she wanted the ex back.

Just few days ago the ex wife called and ask to meet him for lunch. They talked, she asked for forgiveness and she wanted to get back together with him. The man, naturally has a lot of mixed emotions. Lots of unanswered questions. What should he do? What is best? Can he trust her again? Can he move past something like this? If he doesn't give in what will his think of him?

I had one question. Do you still love her? To me, the main reason if not the only reason for two people to be together is love. No straight answer from him, he said it doesn't go away straight away but neither do the pain and the anger. There is an added pressure from 2 grown up , they obviously wanted them back together so that's 3 against him.

The biggest dilemma my friend is facing is trust. Trust comes with love. Trust is like a glass when broken, even if its just a crack or even if glued together it will never be the same. Trust is very hard to earn yet can easily be broken.

My opinion? Why not give it another try? What has he got to lose? If he tried and it doesn't work then he can get out of it at least he tried so there will be no "ifs" later. They say love is lovelier the second time around.

What is your opinion on this? If it was you will you take her back?
7 Comments
Mid Life Crisis
Posted:May 29, 2014 11:45 am
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2015 2:49 am
139171 Views

Ah, crisis! Who has not experienced one? We all experience crisis in many stages of our life from the day we were born. Loosely put crisis means a testing time or more academically: a dramatic emotional or circumstantial upheaval in a person's life.

Crisis has distinct defining characteristics which includes the following:
1. unexpected (i.e., a surprise)
2. creates uncertainty
3. is seen as a threat to important goals
4. it is specific.

So what about mid-life crisis? Is there really such a thing?

Midlife crisis is defined in the dictionary as: a crisis that may be experienced in middle age involving frustration, panic, and feelings of pointlessness, sometimes resulting in radical and often ill-advised changes of lifestyle. Apparently this crisis is experienced between the ages of 40 to 60. It is thought to be triggered by a physical, occupational, or domestic event, as menopause, diminution of physical prowess, job loss, or departure of from the home.

It is usually a male domain but females experience it too. So what happens if one experiences mid-life crisis? My guess is it can be bad but it can be good too. Why do others experience mid life crisis? Who are likely to experience midlife crisis?

Apparently people who are living their life with a purpose and are fulfilling their dreams are less likely to experience midlife crisis. On the other hand people who put little thought into what they want out of life and more thought into taking care of others are more likely to experience a crisis at midlife. Hmm sounds like self neglect triggers it.

A husband who works hard, spends most of his free time with his family and doesn’t pursue life experience outside his family is a sitting duck. He is in danger of going through a midlife crisis.

A wife who spends days taking care of , cooking, cleaning and putting the needs of her family before her own is asking for trouble. If she has no outside interests, no career and nothing to fulfill dreams she may have , is in danger of going through a midlife crisis.

So balance is the key accompanied by support from your partners or your family. What about single parents? Are they more likely to suffer mid life crisis? Well like I said in the first paragraph crisis is just a testing time. With life lessons at 40 to 60 then we should be able to pass it with flying colors. Take it with a grain of salt rather than a bottle of vodka or a packet of pills.

Hey we only live once so enjoy. I will await your comments while I prepare for mid life crisis that I might have anytime soon.
8 Comments
Why will someone you’re chatting to, will suddenly stop without adieu?
Posted:May 19, 2014 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2014 2:20 am
140660 Views

FRUSTRATION (Repost)

Have you ever experienced chatting to someone then suddenly he/she is gone?. You see, I started chatting with this guy after 1 week of our long hours of daily chat over a cup of coffee he suddenly did not turn up, no bye whatsoever. Hey wait a minute what did just happen? Was I talking to a real man or a con? I hope I was smart enough not to give him much of my personal information but with modern technology that can be easily traced to.

Have you ever done one of those on line surveys when in the middle you decided , oh darn, I don’t like to do this anymore and then close the window. Then another popped out window will appear: “ are you sure you want to leave this page?” then you click yes or exit. Ah, now I feel like the survey window. At least the survey was given the chance to have a better exit. What about me? I deserve to be ask or to ask if he really want to quit the chat and maybe beg him not to go, please stay. LOL. Now I will never look at the survey windows the same ever again.

Frustration sets in, why will he do that? Was it me? Was it something I said? I thought he was a decent man. I was duped. A decent man should be able to say goodbye or say his mind and not just leave you hanging like that. What’s wrong with this people? Why can’t you say nice chatting to you, I am going to hang myself now, bye. Simple as that. Just joking if somebody tells that to me I will be sleepless better not say anything than that.

I have met a lot of people from different walks of life they will say at least later when they go if I am not around they will send message to let me know that they’re gone. I just can’t understand and it’s frustrating. I don’t really care if he doesn’t message me back I don’t what to chat with him after that.

Were you ever been in the same boat as me in this one? Have you ever done the same thing? Why? Common tell us don’t be shy. By the way this is not in FFF but he may be here too, who knows? If you are, nice chatting to you decent guy


Fun Friendly Poll

Why will someone you’re chatting to, will suddenly stop
without adieu?
A. He ran out of credit on his internet and still waiting for his pay check to load.
B. His wife or girlfriend suddenly found out he’s chatting with someone.
C. He found someone else to chat to.
D. He found me boring.
E. He realised he’s not gonna go to second base.
F. He had a heart attack during your chat sessions.
G. He confirmed his suspicion that he knows you personally and don’t want to reveal himself.
J. He/she is a rusty mouldy fake.
His boss found out and he was fired
Other reason
16 Comments , 28 votes
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Posted:May 18, 2014 12:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2014 3:40 am
138554 Views

Someone: "Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?"

Me: " I don't know. To see is to believe I guess."

Can anyone tell me please? Is it possible to fall for someone you saw the first time? Worse is you saw her online only and chatted with her for the first time. Seriously is that possible? If not the first time, is it possible to fall in love to someone you have not even seen? Not even a picture?

I'd say yes it's possible but that doesn't mean you fell in love with the person per se. You fell in love with the words, the gestures, the ideas brought into your mind and you mistake that for loving the person. You fall in love to the idea of being in love. You get what I mean? After all anything is possible.

Emotions are hard to control. Have you heard of the word emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence [EI} is the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.

Love is an emotion so we should use this information to guide our thinking and behavior. To guide us in our decision to be in a relationship or not. So if there is love, be it at first sight or not then why not. Many more emotions will follow and then these emotions will guide us again on our future decisions.

So to me analyze that emotion to make a correct decision. If it is appropriate then go ahead, if not then stop! It is not emotionally intelligent to be in a loving relationship just because the emotion is there.

What does your heart say? Tell it to your brain.
I tell my girlfriend do as I say not as I do.
Well I have not done anything inappropriate.
5 Comments
Is there a solution for incompatibility?
Posted:May 8, 2014 3:24 pm
Last Updated:Jun 1, 2014 10:57 am
139358 Views

Someone: "our relationship did not last because of incompatibility"
Me: "Really? After so many years you only found out now that you are not compatible?"

I have heard this so many times that incompatibility is the reason for a relationship break up. To me there will always be some incompatibility in any relationship because we are all different. We may be of different race so different cultural background. Different educational background so different level of knowledge and understanding. Different age,values and beliefs,Different taste, likes and dislikes. I can go on about individual differences but does that mean incompatibility? Will this determine if you are compatible or not?

Incompatibility is defined as, contrary or opposed in character or the inability to co exist in harmony. Based on the first definition it is true then that we 'have some form of incompatibility to begin with but yet that doesn't stop us from living in harmony. Right?

To me a relationship is a partnership, compromise, give and take. It's not about who's the boss, who is right or who is wrong. Partners support and respect each other. Complimenting each other and sorting differences rather that highlighting them.

I don't believe that it can be called incompatibility when you get along well in the beginning and then down the track your differences surfaces and you dislike each other. I think that is more like being intolerant, selfish and inflexible.

I think before entering a relationship or partnership you have to consider your differences. Talk about them and figure out how to live together with those differences. Respect those differences and if they are going to hurt the relationship be willing to make adjustments. If they are not harmful to the relationship be accepting, tolerant and supportive.

Take cultural differences for example, companies, society, professionals and the government acknowledge and respects individual culture. In a relationship cultural differences should be considered before entering into it. If you can't accept and respect them then I believe.you should not enter into it. Understand it is not easy to change one's culture and I believe it is unnecessary if it is not harmful.

To me it's understanding, accepting, respecting and adjusting to those differences is the key to compatibility or as per the definition co existing or living in harmony.

Well this is my opinion, I'm sure it's different from yours, so are we incompatible then? I accept that your opinion can be different from mine and I don't mind. So tell me?
16 Comments
my one night stand on video chat
Posted:Apr 21, 2014 2:44 pm
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2014 12:58 am
140452 Views

OMG! First time I chatted to a man that I met from IM, he looks decent from his profile so I agreed to meet him online and had video chat. He was 2 years younger than me ( well that's what he said). he was decently dressed too, good looking white European man.

He threw some compliments at me and with occasional nods. He doesn't speak English very well. After a few more exchanges of posts he said he wanted to see more? I asked what he meant, he said he wanted "to know me more". He stood up and turned around to gesture he want to see my body so I did the same. Again some nodding and he said "very good."

Then he wanted me to bring the camera down a bit more. I said to myself, hey wait a minute something is fishy here. I asked again why? He said I want to see your body. That made me furious. So I asked blatantly "so you want to see me naked?" with the emoticons. He said no just maybe with your bra, Grrrr!

I wanted to slap him but I just laughed. This man wanted to see my boobs and did not even bother asking my name. I told him off. I told him that he is not in a meat market and not in his wildest dream will I ever do what he wanted. I was still polite to say that I don't want to chat with him ever again and bid him goodbye. He was shocked and asked why and if I was angry. Duh?! I just laughed to know that I was talking to an idiot. Obviously his brain is somewhere down there. Oh boy what a night.

Is that common? Have you ever experienced something similar? I want to understand what was he thinking and what was that all about? But whatever it is, to me it is unacceptable. I will not expose myself on cam other than my bf or my h
usband.
18 Comments

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