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What makes a good conversation? Big sigh! i just finished chatting with this guy and I ended our chat with a sigh. Not a good sign you guessed. We have been chatting for over a month now and almost everyday for 2 to 4 hours a day. He is a good speaker (typer), very intelligent and highly qualified professional. He knows almost everything but oh boy how come lately I do not enjoy our conversation? Is it me or is it him? There are of course obvious disadvantage of a chat firstly you don't hear the tone of voice and secondly you don't see the body language. There are obvious advantages too like you can pause and think for a moment without losing much momentum on the conversation, you can google answers and you can chat to as many as you can at the same time. This guy who has very high IQ, can cook, can sing, can play a musical instruments, has high knowledge of technology. If I remember it right he knows 5 languages. Impressive? I am beginning to doubt it because of his conversation style. I say one short sentence and he'll say maybe 10. It's an exaggeration , yes. He is a good speaker alright but to be a good conversationalist one must be a good listener. Sometimes I think it is more fun to have a conversation with a taxi driver than him even though I secretly liked him. Ah! (sigh again) How can I tell him? I tried to direct our conversation sometimes and turn it to fun, there were times I succeeded other times I failed, like today. Well at least I have something to blog about. Will this ever lead to something ? I told him before that he makes me look very dumb when chatting with him and that I am boring to chat with. He just said "no your not." Grrr! Did he get my message or he just took it literally. I found these 12 Rules from Reader's Digest, this is written or sourced from a psychologist. Sometimes we do not practice what we know. I am posting them here and hopefully he can read them. 12 Golden Rules of Conversation: 1. Avoid unnecessary details ( I can't, even if I want to.)  2. Don’t ask another question before the first one has been answered. 3. Do not interrupt another while he is speaking.  4. Do not contradict, especially if it’s not important. (This is what I hate the most and it starts argument.) 5. Do not do all the talking. (Can someone tell him please?) 6. Don’t always be the hero of your story, however, the story should have a hero. 7. Choose a subject of mutual interest (Easy for others, the weather!) 8. Be a good listener. (Can you hear me?) 9. The conversation should be in harmony with the surroundings. 10. Do not exaggerate. 11. Do not misquote. (oops, guilty, I might have done this in my blog as you can see from my title.)  12. Cultivate tact. I like this also from the Reader;s Digest article, my new signature: “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.” I wan't to give up.  Will these chat dates have any future? What can you say? “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.” |
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Talking to a guy with a very high IQ will just bring you into boredom when he keeps on insisting about his knowledge power.He talks more on technical terms not suitable for discussions. It's better talking with an average guy,who in turn will offer you bundles of laughter with his corny jokes. And a nice conversation is when someone doesn't yawn nor fall asleep while sitting pretending to be listening.   can't tell the details.“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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Thanks Iris yes I will keep you posted so watch this blog. I will skip chatting the day after tomorrow not tomorrow because it will be too obvious.“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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[ size 2]A good conversation is the one that both of you enjoys talking to each other. If you feel bored when he talks but you think you really like him hmmm that would be a problem. Why not try to ask subtly for hints why you we're there talking in the first place? Is he there to get to know you or just chat with you? That way you know if it's worth spending another boring conversation with him lol. “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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Ta Jane there is a bit of a twist today because I told him I am not in a very good mood so he made me laugh with his intelligent jokes and riddles. He did not leave me despite saying he was bothered by what I typed. Aren't we lucky that at our age we can still enjoy interaction with men without losing ourselves? “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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Thanks but for the benefit of the doubt I don't think all psychologist are like those 2. There are people you described above but are not psychologists. Hope you have recovered from that not good experience. “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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Hi bizzy..a very techie person is a boring one ha ha ha..and a boring conversation is when he does not give attention to what you say and just keep on talking and talking ha ha ha..Yes you are right.. mw too I would rather talk to a barber or a street sweeper LOL take care.. susan
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Exactly Jorge I forgot to mention I fell asleep once OMG embarassing but he did it too. I thinks it's because no matter how boring it was we still want to stay connected. Like falling asleep during you know what. can't tell the details>>>> OH! pls do TELL!! Enquiry mind wants to know .. hahahahah “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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that's too much information. All you really need to have a good conversation is "a meeting of minds"  “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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Hi bizzy..a very techie person is a boring one ha ha ha..and a boring conversation is when he does not give attention to what you say and just keep on talking and talking ha ha ha..Yes you are right.. mw too I would rather talk to a barber or a street sweeper LOL take care.. susan “Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
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