Blog : i want to be me... i want you to see me

206 posts
10/11/2012 5:39 am

i want to be me... i want you to see me

I want to put the veil of protection down…one that was erected when I did not know better. I want to be seen, I want you to see who I am, so that the sparkle of my soul that glisten will be seen as well. I am ready…. I am ready to clear away the uncompelling thoughts of who I should be and step further into the real me, into who I am, truly am. Now that I am ready, let it shine without worry of its outcome.
there is a moment for me, just like there is moment for you. It is the moment when you stand up tall within yourself . to let provocative thoughts of judgment buried themselves away, leaving a huge space of room for you to be the magnifient being that you are. the paradigms of other times fall away, leaving you with yourself, for yourself. in service to the blossoming of us all.
this is the moment, where you can start dropping the false notion of who you think you can become,other than yourself, or of the person you should be, and show with such wonder and with fearlessness exactly who you are. flaunt it and let the people be marveled upon witnessing the elegance of your person. anchor deep into the essence of your loving. you must hold close the outlying aspects of you...those that like, love and rage. It takes the ability to laugh at yourself. at the funny play of life. mostly, though, it takes a desire to take note of the calling of experience that each and every one us are born with.drop the masks of perfection. clear away the stories that have shackled you in. and say it! whatever it is. declare it. scream it. do it. tell the world who you are. who you want to be. fling the doors open and let us see the beautiful chaos that is falling perfectly into place. love yourself as you do it. I will love you right back.

who am I? I am me. wonderful. perfectly human and mightily imperfect. I giggle. laugh. cry.stumble and fall. rise up mightily and say, “kaya nyo yun?” I often fall asleep while meditating, but I do it anyway. I court the mystical, knowing that it follows me closely. I love to sing along to cheesy pop, trying to feel the lyrics as deeply as possible. I long to be of service in big, meaning filled ways, like WWF, women crisis center , advocacy on childrens literacy you know those things. I get caught up in details. I am excellent at what I do. I have failed. and I know now that it does not matter. what matters is that I refuse to quit.
roller coaster ride scared me, but I want to get right back on once it’s done. i eat goat. I love my dads kalderatang kambing and pinapaitang kambing. i love exotic food like tamilok (mangrove worm) or adobong palaka.I have drawn myself naked. I’ve rubbed genie lamps and waited in vain for wishes to be granted. I have taken bold action. moved through the fear. and am living my dreams come true. I lust. oh yeah I still do… I crave, chocolates and fillings. i swear, bloody hell I do!. i have fallen in love twice. i have fallen in love with my life. i help people fall in love with theirs . i love talking than writing. I’ve struggled with my body. with food. with kindness towards myself. I take time to bring myself delicious pleasure. I’m willing to work my process in service to loving me in the best ways possible. I wish some things were different. I like many things just as they are . ive been betrayed and I forgave, but memories lingers. Its hard to forget. i made loads of mistakes. I am willing to make more mistakes and to make things right. to make magic. I am willing to be me. are you?