Blog : The Heavy Load On My Shoulder....

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2894 posts
2/23/2008 4:41 am

The Heavy Load On My Shoulder....

Not too many are very transparent about themselves here at FFF (profile or blogs). In my case, I have no fear and I have nothing to hide.

...I felt the heaviness of the world at a very tender age (6 y.o.) when my parents separated.
...At age 21, I was already paying back my mom's greatness when I started working. She raised us all her humbly, but with dignity.
...At 25, I was taking care of my only and at the same time taking up Nursing (my 2nd college degree)only because his father was employed far away in KSA.
...At 31, (1991) I was already in New York City, working so hard to give my family a very comfortable life. It was then that I helped support my nieces and nephews in college, because they have the intellectual capabilities to be great professionals as they are right now.
...At 34, (1994) my dad passed away, and being his legal family, we had to take care of everything until he was finally laid to rest. He left 3 other "" we accepted as our own family members.
...At 35, I became "officially and legally" SINGLE AGAIN...Same year, my mother had a stroke. Since then, I became her major financial and emotional provider.
...At 40, my Muslim BF of 4 1/2 years married his cousin who was bethrothed to him since they were . And back home in the Philippines, my teenage was getting uncontrollable by my Mom (his Dad disrespected as well,who wouldn't? )and our significant others. My heart and wholebeing was crashed and shattered,almost beyond repair.
...At 42, I decided to petition my only , and I relocated from New York City down here in McAllen, Texas in the hope to rebuild our lives together as mother and , A FAMILY of 2. It turned out to be a very challenging reunion. Being with a rebellious was worse than living alone for 11 years.
...At 47, (2007) after weathering the toughest storms with my , he successfully graduated in Nursing. It meant so much to me, for if he stayed in the Philippines, he would have been one of the deliquents of the society. Same year, I thought it was about time I decided to take care of my lovelife again. Met a couple of nice guys here, got emotionally involved with one very young man 12 years my junior, but after a year of roller coaster rides and deep analysis on my part, the relationship had to end. It was the best decision for both of us.
...Now, at 48, after all those long years of heavy loads on my shoulders, my left gave in and couldn't take that much load anymore. Last Valentine's Day, I had a surgery called Arthroscopic Decompression of Rotator Cuff. After all these years, my left shoulder froze.

As a writer, I love to associate things metaphorically. And this is just one of them ....While my left shoulder is recovering, my right will take all the loads for now. And valiantly, I will. But I tell you what? None of these things will ever put me down. Sometimes, we have to look at life on a different perspective. After all, THE ONLY TRUE HANDICAP IN THIS WORLD, IS A BAD ATTITUDE...I am still very thankful for my other tons of wonderful blessings.
ELZ

essenceofprlove3 64F

2/23/2008 10:27 am

Hello Dee,

A very heartwarming story. You are truly one of a kind person with a generous heart. A champion in every aspect. God is always by your side, that my friend is the best of this life. Every thing can tear you apart. Bad attitudes is what keeps us down. When you look up to the sky, then it will make you feel better. And get rid of that. Gods love is endless.
Still praying for your recovery... Enjoy the weekend.

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/24/2008 1:30 am

Hello Jack! Thanks for always wishing me well and for your inspirational words both here on my blogs and at YM. I appreciate your moral support and I appreciate your friendship. We all have different tasks and roles here on earth, and for me, I've played mine the very best I could. In my previous blog, I said to God: " THY WILL BE DONE"...Take care.
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/24/2008 1:33 am

essenceofprlove3

Tess, you are one very patient and extraordinary person as well..You are rare and distinct as a person who battles life at its worse and best just as fiercefully, but your faith in God never falters. I am glad we are friends and thanks again for the phone call. God bless you, my dear.
ELZ

dunlop3764

2/24/2008 11:25 pm

I became a dad at 19
And a lolo at 41 ...

Be swift 2LOVE make haste 2B kind

DUnLop

pinoylover1 74M

1152 posts
2/25/2008 1:15 am

a great accomplishments after all those tough years you have encountered in life

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/25/2008 10:36 am

dunlop3764

I became a dad at 19
And a lolo at 41 ...

YOu are an achiever, yourself MOD...Things are looking UP for you...
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/25/2008 10:38 am

pinoylover1

Life goes on PL...There is no guarantee that happiness is always there...But, always have high hopes and faith...It's just a cycle...One day you're UP, the next day, you're DOWN...Thanks for posting!
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/27/2008 5:06 am

Thank you Dolly...We have our own paths to take in this short and borrowed life...We just have to make the most out of it, as per the cliche`...Take care!
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/27/2008 5:07 am

AND I KEEP LOOKING UP, NOT DOWN....THERE ARE BLUE SKIES UP THERE, WHILE THERE'S ONLY DUST DOWN HERE....
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/27/2008 5:08 am

AND WE DO NOT WANT TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM, RIGHT ROXY?
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/28/2008 4:38 am

Yes, ROXY, life does go on, and we just have to deal with what we have....
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/28/2008 4:41 am

I will always find a way to get up each time I fall...It's painful sometimes specially if we are bruised, but time heals all wounds..they say.
ELZ

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/28/2008 4:44 am

And thank you for always being the sweet person that you are to me, ROXY..You are a true and sincere friend of mine, even though we have not met in person, you always show your unconditional love and concern for me....I am truly blessed to have you in my life...All the best to you and your family..I love you too!
ELZ

ImAllHeartNSoul 62F

2/28/2008 6:44 am

hi there Dee.....i admire your courage and honesty.
Experiences smoothen the rough edges in us... most often, accompanied by pain and suffering... but once we triumph, the hurts we felt will only make the outcome the sweetest victory..
you are still one blessed woman, in spite of....

MARIE

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
2/28/2008 7:43 pm

ImAllHeartNSoul

Hi there Marie! ...Good to see you back here in my blog..I know that you will always be around for me, giving me the moral support I can only have from true friends like you. Thank you so much for being a part of my life....I miss you!
ELZ

ImAllHeartNSoul 62F

3/1/2008 6:21 am

godiva0824

i miss you more my friend...i miss you more.
MARIE

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
3/1/2008 10:35 am

I hope that the next time you come to the USA, it will be permanently, my dear....Take care!
ELZ

ambrans 63M

3/12/2008 3:19 pm

There`s so much life in you Elsa, you`ve given alot to many! Now is your time! Your son will live and learn! I have great respect for you my dear friend! Go and conquer what life has to offer. Godbless!

godiva0824 63F

3469 posts
3/12/2008 5:32 pm

ambrans

And I thank you for gracing my blogs for the first time, TONY!...It's a great pleasure to have you as a friend and a family member at HVP... I appreciate your moral and emotional support on and offline...Mahalo and Aloha to you!
ELZ

Celia2005 65F