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Yes, scars are ugly, and sometimes, they remind not only us, but others of how things have been. But it's okay. Scars also remind everyone just how we "survived". After all the denials, we come to terms with ourselves, and it's now time to listen to that "small voice" within us. Indeed, WE CAN DO IT! ELZ 
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chinatree <<<< "Sometimes a regular man can do toxic behavior not because he is toxic through and through, but because he's just been badly trained as a man. And this is where we think we can "change" him. " ********************************************************************* Too many times I have proven that there is no way we can change MEN. We can aid them in their transformations, but CHANGES will be voluntary from them. How I wish I have the capability to change a man, but I know, I shouldn't, because I do not want him to change me too. ELZ
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chinatree<<< "A great way to change bad behavior coming at you into good behavior coming at you is to NOT TOLERATE the bad behavior. " ********************************************************************************* And also allow me to add, that if things go bad, in the midst of our anger, it is better to hate the sin, but not the sinner. It is good for our health. ELZ
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chinatree <<< "A great way to "train" a man is to not stand for bad behavior more than once. And even that one and only time requires an honest, direct and deeply felt expression of how we don't like and won't accept that bad behavior ever again." ***************************************************************************************************************** In this case, when that man fails to convince you into believing of falling into his succeeding bad behavior, he will find someone new who will. This may sound childish to most of us, but eventually, I find it as good riddance on our part, no matter how painful it is to accept in the beginning. ELZ
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What can I tell you?...There will always be one outstanding man in our lives. Even if we are happy and content with who we are with in the present time, the memory of that outstanding man will always revisit our heart and soul.I still remember my Pakistani ex-BF daily, but I am not sure if I still have feelings for him if I happen to bump with him again in the future. Right, I treasure only the good memories. My love for him has vacated my heart several years ago. ELZ
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And it is true, there are still a lot of GOOD MEN available. They sure know how to make a woman happy. It's just a matter of meeting them one day. In shallah! ELZ
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1/17/2008 11:27 am |
ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "as always my friend, your thoughts are well written and you convey the contents of your heart..." Marie, it's 2008, and I'm thinking "I am not getting any younger"...Where do I go from here?  MARIE
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1/17/2008 11:32 am |
ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "if there is one gift we have been given as women..it is that we get to choose from among the several men who try to win our heart, who is the best among them all.." And like I always tell my friends, I am not that young anymore who have the liberty of putting "admirers" on hold, because men these days are quite impatient..They are likened to butterflies. They move from one flower to another, most of the time preferring the buds than the full bloomed flowers. The competition is way too steep. ).As women, we should have the ammunition too, to fight off this kind of playful and unsincere offers of attention.. my friend calls it a woman's intuition... thats one thing we have that guys dont so, we might as well put it to good use.. MARIE
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1/17/2008 11:37 am |
ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "its easier to decide when one is younger as there are less things to be wary about.. every aspect of a young love is hopeful. as one matures, a lot of other important issues come into play.. and u make your decision to love and accept love based on, not just your own personal happiness, but also on how others may be affected by it.. and then, you decide..." And that used to be the determinant why I held on being single for a long time. It wasn't all about me, but all about my only son. He was and still is (although not that much anymore) a part of the "package deal". The difference now is that I am planning to "detach" myself from him for his own good. MARIE
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1/17/2008 11:39 am |
ImAllHeartNSoul <<< "i find nothing odd with being friends with people you have had special feelings for in the past..for you do not need to lose the friendship that came with that special love you had with that person... as long as you know, in your heart, with regards to love, you have already put a closure to that.. but this is just my own opinion.." That, too, is my setback. I tend to read more to it when the old "flame" continues to communicate, specially when the gesture is such that he sends stuff and say words being sent and said only to people still in a "relationship". I'd rather choose to leave things behind me...Gosh, I even have a problem being friends with someone who courted me in the past, with whom I had to "refuse" the love being offered..But then, it's just me. MARIE
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Dee...like they say, AGE is just numbers... we are as young as we feel.. ELZ
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Dee, i think for some, LOVE is really just a game they play. That's the kind we women should be cautious about ( sorry, but im not generalizing guys, i just said some..which we know is real and true.. ).As women, we should have the ammunition too, to fight off this kind of playful and unsincere offers of attention.. my friend calls it a woman's intuition... thats one thing we have that guys dont so, we might as well put it to good use.. ELZ
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one great thing about our situation, even though we come as a "package"... we maybe wrapped in the simplest way possible, but the gift that it contains is one which anyone will feel proud about.. humbly saying this of course... ELZ
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i think if people still feel something for us, we cannot have control over that... but whats important is...if we have accepted in our hearts that it is just how it should be, a friendship... and nothing more. ELZ
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1/17/2008 7:51 pm |
I just don't want to give false hopes, and I also do not want to hope against hopes, if ever this involves someone I still care about..I'd rather start anew. MARIE
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1/17/2008 7:52 pm |
have a great evening my friend, and i hope you will be well..love u!  MARIE
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have a great evening my friend, and i hope you will be well..love u! ELZ
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i]Hi there Olga!...Good to see you visiting my blog...I thank you kindly for your compliments...You may share your ideas, or experiences, my dear..We will compare notes, okay? ELZ
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Blogging gives us the liberty to express freely what is on our mind, and heart. Life's experiences teach us the most valuable lessons, and oftentimes, be the outcome of those experiences good or bad, we share them to others, so that they'll share our happiness, or for them to avoid going through some mishaps...Please visit us more often and interact with us...Take care, and God bless. ELZ
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Anything meaningful is good...It doesn't have to be woes all the time. ELZ
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I'm sure you do have something to share, Olga!..Thanks a lot my dear. ELZ
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Sometimes, there is this kind of love that just cannot be completely replaced. It's so intense, time can heal, but cannot erase. ELZ
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1/20/2008 10:56 pm |
Sometimes, there is this kind of love that just cannot be completely replaced. It's so intense, time can heal, but cannot erase.  Be swift 2LOVE make haste 2B kind  DUnLop
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Tell me all about it ELZ
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It is best to just go on with life, make the most of what you've got,be swift, be kind, be mindful with words, and just have a good time. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings. Maybe, someday, that one particular love, is just a memory thing. U can always count on me 4sure! Thats what friends R 4!
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