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When Lost Love Is Likened To Death...... People may or may not agree with me, but each time I lose someone I cared about so much, my feeling is likened to that of having a death in the family...Why? because I go through the same stages...Denial, anger, guilt, mourning, slow acceptance, and finally closure.Depending on the emotional investment involved, as well as the length or quality of time spent together, closure may be a difficult task to achieve. Recovery maybe partial with several relapses due to thinking of "what should/could have been", but in the end, when one of the two persons involved finally ceases to communicate, it will actually help the other recover faster. This works well for couples who broke up, with at least one person still in love with the other. This is very common with people who went through divorce, legal separation, annulment, or just plain break-up by lovers. Losing someone who is still alive and someone who died, both inflicts too much pain, at times, we wonder if we will ever fully recover..But, yes, it's just a matter of time. Moving and getting on with our lives, is a personal choice. All I can say is that "at times, it is easier to accept the loss of of a loved one by death because we know that the person will never come back again..whereas losing someone to somebody else may give us false hopes that probably s/he will come back to us, it will take much longer to recover"..Thus, the issue of closure is even harder.. If you happened to fall in love and lost a couple of times, consider yourself mourning in the graveyard that often as well. But please remember, if love has died, you don't have to die with it. You need to live in order for you to fall in love again.   ELZ  |
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11/1/2007 9:19 pm |
DEE, i feel the pain in your words, but i know u will recover, in a pace thats most comfortable for u.. cry if u must, but only for a while... u know im just a phone call away my friend...we draw strength from each other... MARIE
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11/1/2007 11:21 pm |
Dee, I know what you're going thru. It's like dying all over again. But, when the person you love is taken by another. Yes, it is sad. There's nothing you can do. Anger is my most vulnerable fault. You say the things you didn't mean to and it's all over. Then you're blinded by your love and in denial thinking he'll come back. And they never do. Because their great love for another. God bless you and in time you will find that everlasting love. always, tess
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11/2/2007 12:47 am |
i have always said dying is physical death and losing a loved one is emotional death...both have the same consequences and aftermaths, but with the latter, it is something temporary and recurring with a cycle...the former becomes permanent and non-repetitive. as i love you i love life 
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DEE, i feel the pain in your words, but i know u will recover, in a pace thats most comfortable for u.. cry if u must, but only for a while... u know im just a phone call away my friend...we draw strength from each other... Just thought I'd share this "association or metaphoric" comparison When a Lost Love Is Likened To Death... I love you friend.. ELZ
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Dee, I know what you're going thru. It's like dying all over again. But, when the person you love is taken by another. Yes, it is sad. There's nothing you can do. Anger is my most vulnerable fault. You say the things you didn't mean to and it's all over. Then you're blinded by your love and in denial thinking he'll come back. And they never do. Because their great love for another. God bless you and in time you will find that everlasting love. always, tess I dunno, but I think, all the odds were against us. He is single, with no kids, 12 years my junior, (obviously, not that emotionally mature) and most of all, he is more than 4,000 miles away. I have no bitterness in my heart..I am just lonely thinking, I lost a very good friend as well... ELZ
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i have always said dying is physical death and losing a loved one is emotional death...both have the same consequences and aftermaths, but with the latter, it is something temporary and recurring with a cycle...the former becomes permanent and non-repetitive. I actually dedicate this blog to ALL people who experienced loss/es with their love/s either by divorce, annulment, separation, break-ups, and of course, by death. I know, majority of the members here have their own stories to tell. Some may have more than a couple to share, but really, the reason why it is so difficult for others to move on and make their present search "solid" is because they don't even realize that they have not reached the final "closure" from the losses that they've had. Thus, the vague participation, exploration, and eventually physical/emotional involvement with someone brings frustration, despair, and heartbreaks to those chosen as their partners, who may feel that they are just the "objects" of the so -called "emotional patch." ELZ
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We also need some "honest" opinions from MEN here, please... ELZ
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11/2/2007 5:36 am |
Dee, Read that "road less travel". We just have to learn to let go. Even if our hearts are broken. It wasn't meant to be. tess
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11/2/2007 10:50 am |
Marie, thank you for the reassurance..This thought came to my mind while I was driving back home from work, and I actually had to write it down on a piece of paper when the "red traffic light" was ON...That is the way I write my blogs...At this point, I'd say, I'm okay...except that I received YM messages, with "that person" still reacting to my offline/online status message...I guess, even if he's with someone new, he still makes me feel guilty because of the thing that I did or didn't do while I was visiting the Rainbow State, and believe me...I do feel guilty..But nevertheless, I know that here and now, this is the outcome that is really the best for us..I have the tendency to rationalize (being a virgo)every bit of what and what not, and honestly, that is one of my downfalls. Just thought I'd share this "association or metaphoric" comparison When a Lost Love Is Likened To Death... I love you friend..  hayyzzz, napalo tuloy ako, hehehehe!  so, im just enjoying the moment/s DEE, and letting it flow....  MARIE
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Dee, Read that "road less travel". We just have to learn to let go. Even if our hearts are broken. It wasn't meant to be. tess ELZ
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But of course Jack...I only have one life to live and I try my level best to be happy in everything that I have full control of...It is very true: We must live the life with love and love the life we live...Well said...as usual, Jack...Thank you! ELZ
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funny that u should say "tendency to rationalize" and think of the what ifs.. i just heard it from someone na why is there a need to dissect each and every word or opinion that is let out in the open... why not just let it go and enjoy the moment.. hayyzzz, napalo tuloy ako, hehehehe! so, im just enjoying the moment/s DEE, and letting it flow.... ELZ
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Trish, for someone who is so in love like you....You don't even have to think about this......Just make the most of love and life that you have right now...Stay Happy sweetie! ELZ
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Hey there Robert, so you know and love that song ha?...But of course, Love hurts my dear...'coz, if it doesn't hurt, then it isn't love....Thanks for posting this song... ELZ
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