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gscell1981 42F
55 posts
1/6/2008 6:34 pm
IN CONTROL!


During my early years, I had been impelled by the idea that we can never fight fate, that if something is destined to happen, there is nothing we can do about it. But hold on a second, who or what is fate? How come it has this confounding effect on every person up to the point that we surrender everything to it? Is it the master hand that sculpts our future, the master writer that narrates our everyday journey or the master planner that lays out each and every vivid details of our lives?
As a person, i had always been dependent on others to do things for me. I didn't want to do stuff the hard way, no one does. I mean, if we can get other people to do the job for us, why not? It would totally save me from a lot of headaches and unwanted pressure. I became too passive that eventually, i lost interest in what was going on with me. I didn't give a damn. I thought that things will just get better by themselves. I watched my life, I didn't live it. I watched people raising me up, kicking me down, crushing my heart and tainting my soul. I stared at a distance as they admired and despised me, adored and cursed me.
I had never been so keen in expressing my feelings that I just usually take people's shit and ran to the refuge of a pen and paper. I felt like I wasn't worthy enough to have the right to express myself. At that point, I had nothing except the random thoughts scribbled on tiny pieces of paper.
But it was at this time when i started to wonder if i could just snap my fingers and demand my life back. To my surprise, i could! It wasn't an easy process. It took a lot of people getting hurt, a lot of confronted and painful truths, a lot of consequences to be faced. But all these seemed irrelevant as i started to participate in my own life's story. This is my life and i star in it. No one can take the lime light from me. I started to step further, talked louder and lived harder. Every decision i make and every action i take were solely my responsibilities. There was no more master hand, no more master writer, no more master planner, just a master ME, for my life is in my hand, my story is in my mind and my future is in my heart.
I AM FATE!

Honesty is the best policy.... but insanity is a better defense.


Sulei 66M
8039 posts
1/7/2008 3:24 am

cell, of course our fate is the action we take and result we get! good u realised that now! if there is no voice there is no echo! so why be the echo of others?!! why don't u let them be ur echo?!! and if there is no action, there wont be an action! so, take the action .. i mean do it, and let the world react the way they like it or dislike it!! as long as u r a main player, u wont remain in the shadow..and u will continue proceeding ahead... just don't look backward..u will make ur fate your self and the way u want it to be..thus u r controlling things instead of being contolled!


gscell1981 42F
70 posts
1/7/2008 6:14 am

thanks Sulei, i actually realized this a few years ago. I am just reposting this journal entry as a blog for people and hopefully, enlighten them in a way

Honesty is the best policy.... but insanity is a better defense.


gscell1981 42F
70 posts
2/19/2008 6:06 am

German psychologists and their point of views will always remain a mystery to me

Honesty is the best policy.... but insanity is a better defense.