Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Blogs > bebong2005 > MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO


bebong2005 58F
12062 posts
12/2/2007 4:12 pm
...that does not exist for me.
We delude ourselves with fallacy, the belief that we can be truly
happy. It’s embarrassing how we can lie to ourselves in such a cruel
deceptive way. There’s no point in masking misery when it cannot be
escaped? I learnt the truth when I was seventeen. From that day
forward, my heart changed. The day He married me I became colder than ice.
I can never feel the same again . Nothing can wash away that pain of the
past; no one can protect me from the suffering his end brought me.

A past of torture , years of rejection , days of fear , too frightened to express myself
because of what might happen , driven to panic , to paranoia , constantly terrified
the world may abandon me , each day plagued with exhaustion unable to find rest. Why do you think I am filled with so much sorrow, such pain? I bare loathing even toward my own pleasure and lust, it serves only to bring sorrow afterward, yet I do it in the name of true love. This life if why I utter the words "I do not care” Next time someone asks me if I am happy; I shall say... that does not exist for me.



~ Jolielaide


fga2947_ 49M

12/2/2007 5:46 pm

 Quite dramatic. I can already feel the world-weary angst creeping up the pit of my stomach and into the hollow of my heart ... kind of like too much tabasco on a pita. I like it.
"I am rodent, hear me squeek."


bebong2005 58F
9764 posts
12/2/2007 6:28 pm
    Quoting  :
what heart? glad to see you here again.
~ Jolielaide


bebong2005 58F
9764 posts
12/2/2007 6:28 pm
    Quoting  :
ubos na kiliti ko tsoko.
~ Jolielaide


bebong2005 58F
9764 posts
12/2/2007 6:32 pm
    Quoting fga2947_:
    Quite dramatic. I can already feel the world-weary angst creeping up the pit of my stomach and into the hollow of my heart ... kind of like too much tabasco on a pita. I like it.
you have to change spices sometimes or otherwise it would be bland.
too much cannot hurt once and a while.
~ Jolielaide


godiva0824 65F
3469 posts
12/2/2007 7:16 pm

 It still exists Bebz, but just extinct...It will be active again...it's just a matter of who is going to do the honors, but surely, someone will sweep you off your feet again. Rest your guards.

Take care,
ELZ


bebong2005 58F
9764 posts
12/3/2007 4:20 am
    Quoting godiva0824:
    It still exists Bebz, but just extinct...It will be active again...it's just a matter of who is going to do the honors, but surely, someone will sweep you off your feet again. Rest your guards.

    Take care,
even though i wish for you the same (sweeping off our feet) i cannot help thinking: what if it happened? and then will not work out. there goes my feet! (joke)
~ Jolielaide


bebong2005 58F
9764 posts
12/3/2007 4:21 am
    Quoting  :
much obliged!
~ Jolielaide


smiley1957 68F

12/4/2007 1:07 am
aww com'on!
happy!!!
it's so nice to be happy!!!
from the sink to the stairs


bebong2005 58F
9764 posts
12/4/2007 4:51 am

 i did all but not in that order. throw the kitchen and dining table for a good measure too.
~ Jolielaide




×
×