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First things first. Lets be honest, if you are 30 something, we are not compatible, so pass me by please. I am not here for anything else but honesty and love. Sex is way down on my list of priorities, below a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit!
So.... About me....
Wasps cause gurly arm flapping and logistical retreat
Cucumber makes me burp (well you asked)
I NEVER lie (so yes, it does look big in that)
My friends love me, but provide giggly warnings to others
I'm only after one thing here. Honesty.
Erm. Pff. Doesnt sound much of a summary after all these years :(
Cant see diddly squat here, so be investigative, UKArtist or PhilDanielsAuthor
But strap on your genuine big pants first please, I burn narcissists at the stake :)
I dress like a Hippie, I sing a lot. I love my Fern and she loves me. Deal with it :)
I breed Harvest mice for conservation and release new populations. Ahhh right!
My house wall has a huge Ukrainian rainbow and the Queens head on it.
I am the one the villagers talk about and cross the road to avoid.
I'm not fat but my stomach didn't get the memo, I'm working on it. 'ish. And some of my teeth got bored and left home, hey, Im an old git, what do you expect.
You may have gathered I'm a bit, erm, different. That wont change, its me. I like me.
Do you do different? The grass isn't so much greener, as sun burnt and dried out.
Cross over, its less work with the mower, and stress was sold on Ebay years ago.
I've traveled the world, from the Phillipines to LA and China to Seattle.
Played football with elephants and cuddled baby tigers.
I spent a long time in Africa teaching art, and got roped into marking math's books!
Although five year old that speak six languages and live in abject poverty left me learning more than they ever did from me.
But home is where my dozens of hats live, in amongst my hoard of weird slippers.
I don't need you. But wouldn't you prefer to be wanted rather than needed?
If you want to find the mind inside the derelict bones, try reading the first three chapters of my trilogy 'Megan the White' at PhilDanielsAuthor (I'm sure your mind can find it on tin'ternet).
If you still think 'He's the One' then approach with a jaunty gait and angled hat, its gonna be a giggle :)
My Ideal Person
Ideal person? Wow thats a bag of mixed up unknowns.
Well, 'ideally', funny, honest, intelligent, truly open about her real thoughts. Never lies of deceives, never hides emotions.
Tactile, warm, cheeky and fun. Deeply caring and fiercely protective. Proud, values my qualities, holds them dear.
Pretty, slim, petite, elegant, yet down to earth. Happy in a baggy jumper or dressed for dinner.
But lets face it, Im not Brad Pitt, and this is the real world.
Some of these ideals are must haves and others are less important, your mind can see which I value most, Im sure.
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