|
|
Bet !
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, ... |
0 |
1 |
1 |
5.00 |
11/19/2009 8:49 pm |
endoe4, 39 M
10/4/2009 5:35 pm
9
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
If you could have when you asks
If you could any three wish from the one you want to be with
what would you wish for? ant thing humanly ... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
10/4/2009 5:35 pm |
|
|
Soin luv with him...
I think he is the sweetest man I have ever met in my life, if
I was to see my ex-husband now, yes I will marry him again,
if only he can forgive me, maybe it's too late for everything
but I shouldn't ... |
1 |
10 |
1 |
1.10 |
9/11/2009 6:27 pm |
|
|
In front of a Tiger
Alex and philip went to jungle
for a visit. Suddenly a tiger come in front of them. alex put some soil into the tigers eye and said to philip"
ran away quick". But Philip ... |
0 |
9 |
1 |
3.70 |
8/19/2009 3:15 am |
|
|
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a ... |
6 |
58 |
4 |
1.69 |
4/4/2009 8:18 am |
|
|
Good Friends !
Two men from Barnsley(England)on holiday
in Canada hired a pilot to fly them to the wilds of Alberta to hunt moose.
They managed to shoot six and as they were loading the plane
to ... |
0 |
21 |
1 |
3.70 |
3/19/2009 9:29 pm |
Buguy, 53 M
1/11/2009 11:34 pm
1
Article,
Score
0.0
|
|
Pitfalls of an Internet Relationship
This is a personal observation and di answers
based on volumes of research. This also pertains to the male and female sex only..."otherwise"
don't count. This is not, I repeat, ... |
5 |
58 |
0 |
0.00 |
1/11/2009 11:34 pm |
|
|
An Expensive Funeral
Everyone was dismayed that Peter had died.
A popular man, left his wife Moira a strict instructions in his will for his wake to be a jolly and happy
affair: a celebration of his life. ... |
1 |
47 |
5 |
2.49 |
11/18/2008 10:50 pm |
|
|
The Mule and The Mother In Law
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother,
who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While
they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule
suddenly reared up and ... |
0 |
21 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/25/2008 6:33 pm |
|
|
New Angel Holes
An old lady dies and goes to heaven.
She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling
screams.
'Don't worry ... |
1 |
34 |
1 |
5.00 |
7/9/2008 3:50 am |
|
|
Wife vs. Husband
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As ... |
1 |
67 |
7 |
6.10 |
5/20/2008 8:43 pm |
|
|
Cigarettes and Tampoons
A man walks into a pharmacy and
wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons ... |
0 |
37 |
4 |
5.57 |
5/20/2008 8:41 pm |
|
|
^^Womens Revenge^^
"Cash, check or charge?"
I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control
for a television set in her ... |
0 |
35 |
5 |
5.75 |
5/20/2008 8:38 pm |
|
|
***How to tell a sex of a fly***
A woman walked into the kitchen
to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?' She asked.
'Hunting Flies' He responded. ...
|
0 |
31 |
3 |
5.39 |
5/20/2008 8:23 pm |
|
|
~*~*~A Canadian Christmas~*~*
A man in Newfoundland calls his son
in Calgary two days before Christmas and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing; ... |
0 |
20 |
2 |
5.20 |
5/20/2008 8:14 pm |
|
|
Amish and Elevators...
An Amish boy and his father were visiting
a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby
that could move apart ... |
2 |
37 |
11 |
5.22 |
5/19/2008 11:49 am |
|
|
$20.00
On their wedding night, the young
bride approached her new husband and asked for a $20.00
for their first sexual encounter. In his highly aroused
state, her husband readily ... |
3 |
76 |
17 |
4.96 |
5/19/2008 11:20 am |
|
|
~*AN IRISH LOVE STORY*~
An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite
scones wafting up the stairs.
He ... |
2 |
45 |
8 |
5.80 |
5/19/2008 10:46 am |
|
|
Underwear dust
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim
Fast. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your butt!' ... |
3 |
52 |
18 |
4.35 |
5/17/2008 7:32 am |
|
|
To be 6 again...
A man was sitting at the edge of the bed, observing his wife
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her
birthday. "I'd like to be ... |
1 |
44 |
9 |
5.56 |
5/16/2008 12:48 pm |
|
|
Painfull words
Words can be the most painful thing to a person heart and
soul. The more emotionally attached we are to that person,
the more damage us, can do. Never tell children, they are
bad, be careful, to tell ... |
0 |
25 |
4 |
4.41 |
4/17/2008 2:36 am |
|
|
LOVE FAIRY
1) Love is a beauty treatment Scientific test find that women make love, they produce amounts of estrogen hormones that can make her hair shines and smooth..
2) Gentle relax love ... |
1 |
41 |
3 |
4.41 |
3/8/2008 6:40 pm |
|
|
love vs relationship
we ended our so called relationship 4 years both of us hurted
each other reasons that till now left unspoken, ,, it
was over is it??? then why you day by day checked my profiles then why you posts ... |
2 |
40 |
2 |
2.42 |
2/19/2008 5:43 am |
|
|
Joke - A Hunting Tale
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly
check-up...
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said , 'Things are great and I've
never felt better.' ... |
3 |
59 |
2 |
4.50 |
1/23/2008 5:09 pm |
|
|
Prescription
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes,
and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why ... |
2 |
59 |
3 |
4.90 |
11/15/2007 8:47 am |
|
|
4 person in yoUr liFe,hOw maNy HaVe you found
4 person in your life how many have u found? 1st- urself,
2nd-1 u love most, 3rd-1 who love u most, 4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with. firstly u'll
meet the 1 u love most, and learn how ... |
2 |
28 |
0 |
0.00 |
11/7/2007 4:38 pm |
|
|
The Bond Between a Mother and a Daughter
The bond between a mother and daughter is the most precious
gift of all. It is this unexplainable most fulfilling feeling
that only 'that' mother and daughter can share.
A mother should never feel ... |
2 |
26 |
0 |
0.00 |
11/1/2007 3:58 am |
|
|
Husband & Wife
Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your
honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, ...
|
2 |
92 |
2 |
3.81 |
10/3/2007 5:06 am |
|
|
Twas the Night After Christmas
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the
trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped
out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. ... |
0 |
22 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 9:09 am |
|
|
YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRUNK WHEN...
? You lose arguments with inanimate objects. ? You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the
earth. ? Job interfering with your drinking. ? Your doctor finds traces of blood in your ... |
0 |
20 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:59 am |
|
|
DNA Tests
Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news. Client: Well, give me the bad news first. Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it
was your blood they found all over the crime scene ... |
0 |
38 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:56 am |
|
|
Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After
a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and
went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful
friend. ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:48 am |
|
|
Unfaithful Wife
A guy tells his psychiatrist: It was terrible. I was away
on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day
early. I rushed home from the airport and found her in bed
with my best friend. I ... |
3 |
71 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/30/2007 8:46 am |
|
|
Cowboy and the Indians
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to
their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy,
"You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you
one wish a day for three ... |
0 |
21 |
1 |
5.00 |
9/30/2007 8:45 am |
|
|
How To Tell Where A Driver Is From...
One hand on wheel, One hand on horn: CHICAGO.
One hand on wheel, Middle finger out window: NEW YORK.
One hand on wheel, middle finger out window, Cutting across
all lanes of ... |
0 |
27 |
1 |
5.00 |
9/30/2007 8:43 am |
|
|
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a ... |
0 |
24 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:42 am |
|
|
the neighbour
Bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging
and said to his neighbour' why are u digging and his
neighbour said ''my fish is dead ' and bob
said 'its a big hole for a fish' and the ... |
2 |
42 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/30/2007 8:41 am |
|
|
Face Lift
She's had her face lifted so many times, she talks through
her ... |
0 |
16 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:37 am |
|
|
Big Mouth
He has such a big mouth, he can sing a duet all by ... |
0 |
17 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:36 am |
|
|
Down The Aisle
When she walked down the aisle with her groom, they had to
walk single ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:35 am |
|
|
on the bus
there was a man on the bus and he was sitting down when a fat
lady said 'if u were a gentleman you would stand up and
let someone else sit down'and he said 'and if you
werent so fat you would stand ... |
0 |
26 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:34 am |
|
|
Factory Workers
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory
that hires only married men.
Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager
and asked him, "Why is it you limit your ... |
0 |
19 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:32 am |
|
|
smart salesman
A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and
asked - "Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash
for $200.00?"
Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's ... |
0 |
24 |
1 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:30 am |
|
|
A DROP IN SALARY PERHAPS
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting
on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where
she was going and she replied "I'm going to Las
Vegas." He questioned her as to ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:28 am |
|
|
Bank Robbers
A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly
devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had
decided to rob. She ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:27 am |
|
|
lipstick
According to a news report, a certain private school in
Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick
and would put it on ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:25 am |
|
|
APPLIED MATHEMATICS
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there ... |
0 |
8 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:22 am |
|
|
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS
1 When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. 2 When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. 3 When you make a mistake, ... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:18 am |
|
|
A STORY ABOUT EVERYBODY
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody,
Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done
and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody
would do it. ... |
3 |
21 |
1 |
1.10 |
9/30/2007 8:16 am |
|
|
The Doctor
A Doctor passed away and was being screened for the destination
of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately,
he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, and greedy to boot,
so he wasn't quite certain what ... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:14 am |
|
|
Beautiful
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia
after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're
beautiful!" and then he fell ... |
0 |
24 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:12 am |
|
|
Ears Put Back On
A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said: " ... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:08 am |
|
|
Old Country Delivery
An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver
a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When
the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring
mother and her ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:06 am |
|
|
Doctor Orders A Birthday Cake
For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
"You are not getting older, You are just getting better."
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:04 am |
|
|
Hole In The Fence
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum
and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen!
Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the ... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 8:00 am |
|
|
Labour Pains
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new
machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
labour pain to the ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:59 am |
|
|
Crazy Patients
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds
when he entered a patient's room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to
saw a piece of wood in half.
... |
0 |
14 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:57 am |
|
|
Wife And Husband Visit Doctor
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and told
her, "If you don't do the following, your husband
will lose his will to live and ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:54 am |
|
|
Kiss
One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She
picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey
kiss in his mouth and asked,
"Do you know what it is?" ... |
0 |
16 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:49 am |
|
|
butt joke
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink
and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping
all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the
bar and eats them, then grabs ... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:47 am |
|
|
What Do You Believe In?
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane
that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's
sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe ... |
0 |
7 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:45 am |
|
|
Bill Gates in Hell
Bill Gates dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've
been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your
life. ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:43 am |
|
|
Ways to tell your online toooo long
70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long
1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL".
3. You watch TV with the ... |
0 |
6 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:40 am |
|
|
Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down
the system as they ... |
0 |
7 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:37 am |
|
|
Computer Users
Computer users are divided into three types:
Novice, Intermediate and Expert.
Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing
a key might break their computer.
... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:35 am |
|
|
The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers
and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives
and Sales People."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation
based on ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:34 am |
|
|
Heaven And Hell
n Heaven:
The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell:
The cooks are English, The ... |
0 |
6 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:32 am |
|
|
DIED FROM GONORRHEA
When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death
notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhea.
Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend
of ... |
0 |
8 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:26 am |
|
|
FROG TO CONSULT A PSYCHIC
A frog calls a psychic Panda Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends
Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story
of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.
A ... |
0 |
3 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:12 am |
|
|
Jesus is watching you
One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He’s
sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - “Jesus is
watching you!” He jumps, turns around, but he doesn’t see
anything. So he starts ... |
0 |
2 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:08 am |
|
|
Lawyer at the Pearly Gates
One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound
up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them
that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to
answer one question. St. ... |
0 |
3 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/30/2007 7:07 am |
|
|
Meaning of M.P
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?
... |
4 |
28 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/27/2007 10:18 am |
|
|
~~~ WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN ~~~
WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!
HE : Can I buy you a drink? SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for
a face like yours. ... |
5 |
47 |
2 |
2.42 |
9/27/2007 1:14 am |
|
|
Read and enjoy ....love humor?
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U. 6 months : Of course I love U. 6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did
I propose?
********
Back ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/26/2007 9:22 am |
|
|
FACTS ABOUT MEN...
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. 3. Marrying a divorced man ... |
0 |
15 |
2 |
3.81 |
9/25/2007 9:46 pm |
|
|
WISH GRANTED
A man and his wife were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
A good fairy came to them and said that because they had been
such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a wish.
... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/25/2007 2:33 am |
|
|
The Relationship Is Probably Over When...
- She puts your dinner on the floor in the dog dish.
- The milkman is wearing your bathrobe. You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show.
- She starts every sentence with the ... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/25/2007 2:27 am |
|
|
Men Do Remember Anniversaries
A woman awakes to find that her husband is not in bed. She
goes downstairs and finds him sitting at the kitchen table
staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his
eye.
... |
0 |
5 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/25/2007 2:25 am |
|
|
MARRIGAE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It
is essential that husbands and wives know the things that
are important to each ... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/25/2007 2:24 am |
|
|
IN SAFE MODE
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: ... |
0 |
5 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/25/2007 2:23 am |
|
|
Man's expectations
What Every Man Expects in
a Wife:
- She will always be beautiful
and cheerful. - She could marry a movie star, but ... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/24/2007 1:55 am |
|
|
Dictionary of Dating
Dictionary of Dating
Dating: The process of
spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to
get better ... |
0 |
15 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/24/2007 1:48 am |
|
|
marriage part III
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
listens. In the ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/24/2007 1:42 am |
|
|
marriage part II
Marriage is an institution
where two people come together to joint solve the problems
they never had before they got married.... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/24/2007 1:41 am |
|
|
marriage part 1
Marriage is when a man and
woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to
decide which one.... |
0 |
2 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/24/2007 1:40 am |
|
|
breakfast is ready!
"If you'll make
the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart, " said
the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good,... |
1 |
22 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/22/2007 2:21 am |
|
|
It's a boy!
An unmarried girl who worked
in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out
big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When
asked what the occasion ... |
1 |
23 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/22/2007 2:19 am |
|
|
Traffic light
My husband bought me a mood
ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.... |
0 |
6 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/22/2007 2:17 am |
|
|
here comes the groom
Grooms! Once you get married
remember that when you have a discussion with your future
wife, always remember to get the last two words in: "Yes
dear."... |
0 |
7 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/22/2007 2:15 am |
|
|
17 SIGNS OF FALLING INLOVE
SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY
SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT ... |
1 |
29 |
1 |
3.70 |
9/21/2007 5:29 am |
|
|
Professional Courtesy
Three men-a doctor, a priest and a lawyer- go for a cruise
on a power boat out of Miami. Suddenly the weather changes.
The wind howls, waves are huge, and the boat is battered
by heavy seas. Soon, ... |
0 |
15 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/7/2007 11:27 am |
|
|
A wise lawyer
Standing around the grave of a departed friend are anthropologist, a
doctor and a lawyer. When the eulogies are over, the anthropologist
suggest that they all put some money in the coffin, as in
the ... |
0 |
7 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/7/2007 11:12 am |
|
|
The Lawsuit
It seemed that the son of Spanish lawyer graduated from college and was considering the future.
he went to his ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/7/2007 9:05 am |
|
|
A smart wife
Letter from husband ( who is abroad) to wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses.
You are my ... |
0 |
15 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/4/2007 11:23 am |
|
|
12 months in one year
A man walks into a drug store
with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom
display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
... |
0 |
22 |
2 |
2.42 |
7/31/2007 3:08 am |
|
|
Secret of a Happy Couple
My wife and I have the secret
to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice
restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship.
She goes Tuesdays, I go ... |
0 |
15 |
2 |
2.42 |
7/31/2007 2:37 am |
|
|
The Perfect Man
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man ... |
1 |
32 |
5 |
3.14 |
7/31/2007 2:36 am |
|
|
Third Time
A guy slices his ball in the
woods and goes in to look for it. He meets a girl from the next
fairway looking for her ball. They start to chat and have
a wonderful little ... |
0 |
14 |
1 |
3.70 |
7/31/2007 2:22 am |
|
|
Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one
woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The ... |
0 |
16 |
1 |
3.70 |
7/31/2007 2:19 am |
|
|
Salary this month ...100 Kisses
Husband Letter to Wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart.
Your husband Allen….
His ... |
8 |
74 |
4 |
4.02 |
7/18/2007 11:43 am |
|
|
Children's Dad
A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that
the older three had red hair, light skin and were tall, while
the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes and was short.
The ... |
1 |
40 |
2 |
2.42 |
7/17/2007 12:00 pm |
|
|
Replace Husband
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor
to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked
for a description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark ... |
3 |
51 |
3 |
2.94 |
7/17/2007 11:55 am |
|
|
Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home...
And were giving each other the silent treatment...
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need
his wife.... ... |
2 |
49 |
3 |
2.94 |
7/15/2007 11:11 pm |
|
|
LOVE HEARING AID
A man feared his wife wasn't
hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid
. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family ... |
1 |
26 |
2 |
2.42 |
7/12/2007 4:56 am |
|
|
I dont want to marry
Toni f we get married.will you give up smoking?
Mr Black:yes"
Toni:And drinking, too"
Mr black:YES"
Toni:"And will you stop going to your club in the evening? ... |
1 |
47 |
3 |
2.45 |
6/26/2007 6:09 am |
|
|
As a Clerk
Boss:Where have you been?
Toni ut having my hair cut"
Boss:"You cant have your hair cut during the working
hour!
Toni:Why not?It grew during the working ... |
0 |
14 |
1 |
0.00 |
6/26/2007 5:59 am |
|
|
As a Policewoman
One day, a very rich young man drove a very expensive car
and he was speeding.Soon, he was discovered by a policewoman, Toni.
The man stopped the car reluctantly, and shouted impatiently, ... |
2 |
39 |
4 |
2.86 |
6/26/2007 5:57 am |
|
|
AS A BARBER
Mr Black:Sir, would you mind turning the other side of
your face?"
Customerh"do you want shave that side?
Mr black:No, but I cant stand the sight of ... |
0 |
13 |
1 |
2.40 |
6/26/2007 5:52 am |
|
|
AS A WAITER
ANGRY CUSTOMER; "WAITER, WHAT'S THE FLY DOING IN THE SOUP?"
MR BLACK LOOK INTO THE SOUP AND ANSWEREDHAPPILY;"THE ... |
1 |
20 |
3 |
4.41 |
6/26/2007 5:49 am |
raeyan, 20 F
6/20/2007 5:27 am
2
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
women's Urine
different sounds of women's urine: SINGLE; i wissssssh..... WIDOWED; i misssssssss.... OLD MAID; plissssssss.... MARRIED: alwayssssssss.. SEPARATED: ... |
0 |
19 |
1 |
1.10 |
6/20/2007 5:27 am |
|
|
JOYS OF MARRIAGE
Marriage Part Four
A man has 6 children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
" Mother of Six, " in spite of her ... |
6 |
99 |
10 |
2.19 |
6/12/2007 11:00 pm |
|
|
Joys Of Marriage
Marriage Part Three
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table.
Husband get up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either"
and ... |
3 |
126 |
6 |
4.79 |
6/12/2007 10:49 pm |
|
|
Joys Of Marriage
Marriage Part Two
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of there
40th wedding anniversary..
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone, that
reads " ... |
2 |
84 |
5 |
3.14 |
6/12/2007 10:35 pm |
|
|
Joys Of Marriage
Marriage Part One
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady..
And after the wedding, the macho man laid down the following
rules. He told his wife:
I'll be home when I ... |
2 |
55 |
5 |
2.49 |
6/12/2007 10:24 pm |
|
|
a perfect guy
every girl dreams that one day she will find a boy that does these things for her. even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someones life.
• give ... |
2 |
34 |
2 |
4.50 |
6/7/2007 12:43 am |
|
|
JOKE........
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the
Director what the criterion was which defined whether
or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well, " said the Director, "we fill
up a ... |
1 |
28 |
4 |
4.80 |
5/30/2007 1:55 pm |
|
|
You Gotta Love This Lady!
You gotta love this lady Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it!
"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we?
Was it or was it
not started by ... |
0 |
20 |
1 |
5.00 |
5/30/2007 9:47 am |
|
|
Broke Back Deer Camp
Hahaha ......
Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make ... |
1 |
26 |
3 |
4.90 |
5/29/2007 7:22 am |
|
|
Genie
husband takes his wife to play her first game of > golf. > > The wife promptly hacked her first shot right > through the window of the biggest house adjacent to
the course. > > The husband cringed, ... |
0 |
14 |
2 |
5.20 |
5/29/2007 7:14 am |
|
|
Never Tick off a Nurse
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around
just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted
to ... |
5 |
64 |
4 |
4.80 |
5/29/2007 7:01 am |
|
|
Cut,,,Cut...
"Doc, " says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about
for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. ... |
0 |
17 |
2 |
5.20 |
5/28/2007 3:28 am |
|
|
BILL
It was opening night at the Orpheum Theater and Amazin'
Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed
hypnotist do her stuff.
As Amazin' Eileen took to the ... |
0 |
10 |
1 |
5.00 |
5/28/2007 3:11 am |
|
|
This Will Make You Cry...
This Will Make You Cry...
Jenny was so happy about the house they had found.
For once in her life it was on the right side of town.
She unpacked her things with ... |
0 |
22 |
1 |
5.00 |
5/28/2007 3:08 am |
|
|
Technically Correct
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical
Malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic
navigation and Communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the ... |
0 |
16 |
2 |
5.20 |
5/28/2007 2:57 am |
|
|
Mid Life Crisis...
After I'd been married 50 years, I took a look at my wife
one day and said "Honey, 50 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap
car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white
TV, ... |
0 |
16 |
2 |
3.81 |
5/25/2007 11:00 pm |
|
|
The Wish...
A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old
lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay, okay. You released me from
the lamp, blah. This ... |
0 |
17 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/19/2007 11:37 pm |
|
|
Estrogen Found in Beer
Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small
traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists
fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them
gained weight, ... |
0 |
17 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/19/2007 11:35 pm |
|
|
Milk
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you
can get the milk for free."
Here's an update for you . . . Nowadays 80% of women are
against marriage.
Why?
Because ... |
2 |
40 |
4 |
3.63 |
5/19/2007 11:33 pm |
|
|
Top 10 Things Men Shouldn't Say Out Loud in Victoria's Secret
10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No thanks. Just Sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this.
6. Oh the size won't ... |
1 |
26 |
1 |
5.00 |
5/19/2007 11:30 pm |
|
|
Meet You in Heaven
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates
of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet
her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet
table. Sitting all ... |
0 |
14 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/19/2007 11:22 pm |
|
|
Comebacks to Pickup Lines...
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place ... |
1 |
31 |
4 |
2.86 |
5/19/2007 11:19 pm |
|
|
Screen Cleaner
OPEN WITH CARE.....
This is the newer and up graded version
You probably don't realize it, but your computer's
Screen must be cleaned each day. The cleaning should ... |
0 |
12 |
1 |
5.00 |
5/17/2007 3:13 am |
|
|
Professionals???
A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy
is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue
in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and ... |
0 |
16 |
1 |
5.00 |
5/17/2007 3:04 am |
|
|
Jokes Of Mr. Bean
1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. ... |
0 |
19 |
2 |
5.20 |
5/17/2007 2:38 am |
|
|
A Woman of Strength
A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape
...
but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul
in shape...
A strong woman isn't afraid of ... |
0 |
7 |
1 |
5.00 |
5/17/2007 2:23 am |
|
|
Somalian Immigrant
A somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to
the United States..
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street
and says..
" Thank you Mr. American for letting ... |
2 |
50 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/12/2007 10:02 pm |
|
|
17. afraid to say i love you...
Once you open this, You have ten minutes to repost with the ONE number that fits you best or you will be single for the next five years.
00.....Ugly 0..... Married 1..... Single 2..... ... |
2 |
34 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/9/2007 12:35 am |
|
|
Another Joke Time
Message: Dear Manay Letty,
May ihihingi akong payo sa iyo kaya sana mabigyan mo ako ng magandang sagot sa problema ko. Simple lang naman eh. Naguguluhan lang kasi ako. Ang fish ball ba ay ... |
0 |
14 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/7/2007 1:08 am |
|
|
Kwentong Jeepney
Uuwi ulit akong mag-isa.
Haay, salamat naman at uwian na. Kanina pa ako inip na inip
umuwi, aba ang hirap atang magpanggap na may ginagawa. Galing ko na
ngang matulog ng dilat eh, sakit nga ... |
3 |
26 |
4 |
1.30 |
5/7/2007 1:03 am |
|
|
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MAYAMAN AND MAHIRAP
Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy" Kung
mahirap ka, ang tawag dyanay "galis" o "bakokang".
Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension
and stress" Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo". ... |
4 |
29 |
4 |
4.02 |
5/7/2007 12:44 am |
|
|
Graduation Ceremony
A student who had a very bad academic result told his teacher
in the graduation ceremony, "THANK you for your
teaching, you are always the best teacher, please don't
hesitate if I can help any ... |
1 |
22 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/4/2007 3:37 am |
|
|
Robbery
A man walked into the bank to hold up and gave the teller a
note that read, "This is a stickup.Give me all your money, "
She passed a note to him that said"FIX youR tie".We're
taling a ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/4/2007 3:32 am |
|
|
Wedding
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
to the mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?".
"Because white is the color of happiness, "her
mother explained, "and ... |
0 |
18 |
1 |
2.40 |
5/4/2007 3:29 am |
|
|
Policeman and the prisoner
A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when the
officer's hat blew off down the side walk.
"Would you like me to get that hat for you?"ask
the prisoner.
"You must think ... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/4/2007 3:25 am |
|
|
Surgeons
Why do you think surgeons wear masks during operation?
So that if any mistakes is made, no one will know ... |
0 |
7 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/4/2007 3:20 am |
|
|
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the
body of Mr. Wild, about to be cremated, and made a startling
discovery. Wild had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. ... |
0 |
22 |
3 |
5.39 |
4/27/2007 12:31 pm |
|
|
MEMORIES
U CAN NEVER REGAIN SOMETHING U LEFT IN THE PAST.. CHANGE
UR FOCUS 2 THE PRESENT INSTEAD OF CLINGING OF 2 SOME MEMORY
OF WHAT U ONCE HAD.. MEMORIES ARE NICE, BUT THATS ALL ...
|
4 |
54 |
9 |
3.64 |
4/25/2007 9:20 pm |
|
|
2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy ... |
0 |
24 |
2 |
5.20 |
4/22/2007 3:25 pm |
|
|
School Answering Machine
I don't know if this is true or not but
it's cute. Although funny, it might not be able to pass
"muster" in today's political correct
environment. But the last one is one that I wish ... |
0 |
16 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/21/2007 10:08 am |
|
|
1st Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told ... |
0 |
27 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/20/2007 4:23 pm |
|
|
Why I Text You?
Five person's why I text you, you make me feel welcome
(I assume) I make you smile ( I suppose) You appreciate my
thoughts (I happy) you spend time reading my messages (I
guess) you think I'm cute ... |
0 |
11 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/20/2007 1:54 am |
|
|
"You mean the world to me"
If I died or travelled far, I'd write your name on every
star, so everyone could look up & see, that "you mean the world to me."... |
0 |
5 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/19/2007 5:56 am |
|
|
Stars and Dreams:)
There are a million stars and a million dreams, "you"
are the only star for me, the only dream I ... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/19/2007 5:10 am |
|
|
One Flaw In Women
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want ... |
0 |
6 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/18/2007 3:09 am |
|
|
GREAT WATCH
For lovers of the latest Gizmos....
There was a gentleman walking with two heavy suitcases
in an airport terminal. Someone approached and asked him
what time it was. The gentleman bends down ... |
0 |
10 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/18/2007 2:36 am |
|
|
A Fishy Tale
The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for
decades. So to feed the Japanese population, Fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. ... |
0 |
15 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/18/2007 2:18 am |
|
|
"Dream"
"I woke up this morning with another dream again.
We were on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the midst of a
storm...If we tried to go against the current and if we moved
vigorously in the ... |
0 |
11 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/12/2007 9:47 pm |
|
|
The Frugal Husband
A penny-pinching husband regularly imposes his budgetary
goals with his wife. It seems that it may, he could never
be satisfied. One day on the way home from work, the wife
decided not to take the ... |
2 |
66 |
6 |
1.94 |
4/12/2007 6:25 pm |
|
|
Be Carefull What You Wish For (Including What Others May)
Three men were stranded on an island. While the other two
men seemed responsible family men, the other was just enjoying
the company of his new friends. The first two men were beginning
to get ... |
2 |
52 |
6 |
2.23 |
4/9/2007 10:31 pm |
|
|
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
"Your son is here, " she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's
eyes opened.
... |
0 |
12 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/8/2007 4:32 am |
|
|
Old Age Problems
The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from
the couch; then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where
are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to ... |
0 |
13 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/8/2007 4:31 am |
|
|
Inner strenght!!!
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people ... |
0 |
8 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/8/2007 4:30 am |
|
|
Eight Words...
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self ... |
0 |
14 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/8/2007 4:27 am |
|
|
Wishes!
I wish I were a tear in your eyes, then I would run down your
cheeks and die on your lips. I wish you were a tear in my eyes,
then I would never cry out of fear of ... |
0 |
7 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/6/2007 8:57 pm |
|
|
I have you..
While I was walking I stopped for a while & thought of
the things I did'nt have in my life, but I suddenly realized
I have you & felt complete. Y O ... |
1 |
17 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/6/2007 8:49 pm |
|
|
Messages
You might be sending messages that I might erase, but the
thought that you cared and spent your time for me is something
that'll last forever.... |
0 |
4 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/6/2007 8:39 pm |
|
|
I'm here for you!
In this new morning that we woke up to, we know that were gonna
face another trial in our life. Just want to remind you that
"Im here if you
need ... |
0 |
7 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/6/2007 8:24 pm |
|
|
Lady and Frog.
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed
a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went.
She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch
her interest, ... |
0 |
18 |
2 |
5.20 |
4/5/2007 5:41 am |
|
|
L O V E
When words fails, action speaks. Where action fails, eyes
speaks. Where eyes fail. tear speaks. And where everything
fails..L O V E ... |
0 |
14 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/4/2007 6:14 am |
|
|
they walk amongst us!!!!
I walked into a Quizno's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". They're already ... |
0 |
14 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/3/2007 1:59 am |
|
|
DONT BREAK THE ELASTIC!!! Wise words.....
In April, of last year, Maya Angelou was interviewed by
Oprah on her 74th birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And,
there on television, she said it was "exciting."
Regarding ... |
0 |
13 |
2 |
3.81 |
4/2/2007 7:09 am |
|
|
Desire of a Woman...
Desire of a woman........In this life I'm a woman......
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When
you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing
but sleep for six months. I ... |
0 |
13 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/2/2007 6:52 am |
|
|
BALLERINA...
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into
a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge,
hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at
the bar and asked, ... |
1 |
82 |
8 |
4.87 |
4/2/2007 6:35 am |
|
|
Satan's Meeting.
SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy. Very
well written.)
Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said,
"We can't keep people from going to ... |
0 |
15 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/2/2007 6:31 am |
|
|
"what every kiss means"
Kiss on the stomach = Im ready
~Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever"
~Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything
~Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
~Kiss on the Hand ... |
4 |
61 |
11 |
2.42 |
4/1/2007 6:56 am |
|
|
Golf Balls
I never like golf, so I don't know what kind or which
kind of golf ball to use.My friend invited me to go w/ her
to choose the rght ball to use..
She and I were in the golf store comparing ... |
1 |
50 |
3 |
2.94 |
3/31/2007 11:15 am |
|
|
LOVE
IF I COULD FIND MY WAY BACK TO WHERE MY HEART WANTS TO BE OR WILL MY HEART CRACK BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE YOU AGAIN OR WILL I FIND THE COURAGE I LACK TO FIND THE PERSON THAT I
LOVE
... |
0 |
16 |
2 |
2.42 |
3/29/2007 5:04 pm |
|
|
God and The Biker
A biker was riding on a highway along a California beach
when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming
voice, the Lord said: "Because you have tried to be
faithful to me in all ways, ... |
0 |
23 |
4 |
5.19 |
3/26/2007 3:17 am |
|
|
On Budget
Admiringly, a mother asked her married daughter how she
managed to keep her grocery bills so low.
"It's easy." the daughter explained."
I put the baby in the shopping cart and before I reach ...
|
0 |
18 |
2 |
2.42 |
3/25/2007 7:47 am |
080481, 28 F
3/24/2007 5:32 pm
1
Article,
Score
0.0
|
|
IN love
I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything
other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in
a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help.
There is no mistaking love. ... |
1 |
17 |
3 |
3.92 |
3/24/2007 5:32 pm |
|
|
Only in Italy
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
An Italian police officer stops them and says:
"Itsa illegala to putta five-a people in a Quattro!"
"Vot do you mean, ... |
0 |
16 |
1 |
5.00 |
3/23/2007 6:08 am |
|
|
It's Started!
Santa Singh comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops
down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his
wife, 'Get me a beer before it starts.'
The wife sighs and gets him a ... |
0 |
12 |
1 |
5.00 |
3/23/2007 5:37 am |
|
|
A young married couple
A young married couple
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the ... |
0 |
36 |
2 |
3.81 |
3/22/2007 7:23 pm |
|
|
What is Physics?
Physics....is the scientific study of matter and energy
and how they interact with each other. This energy can take
the form of motion, light, electricity, radiation, gravity
. . . just about ... |
0 |
13 |
1 |
5.00 |
3/22/2007 5:58 am |
|
|
You are my dream
Everytime I think of you, wondering if when Im I able to hold
you, touch you, feeling your sweet kisses into my lips.
I wished I can fly and take you along with me in the sky so that
I can give you a ... |
0 |
34 |
2 |
3.81 |
3/19/2007 10:23 pm |
|
|
Taegum
The taegum with chunggum (medium "three bamboos
of Shilla, " as they were believed to have been first made during the Three Kingdoms period 57B.C.-668A.D.)
Also known as the chottdae, this instrument ... |
0 |
19 |
1 |
5.00 |
3/17/2007 1:10 am |
|
|
As I Lay on my Bed
As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm ... |
0 |
151 |
1 |
3.70 |
3/11/2007 9:45 pm |
|
|
rednecks are good at that sensitive stuff
three rednecks were working on the bell south tower.
there name are steve , bruce and jed..
steve falls off and is killed instantly.
as the ambulance takes the body away, bruce says ... |
0 |
49 |
3 |
2.45 |
3/10/2007 3:09 pm |
|
|
candy and nuts
my friend and i were walking at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.. as we were looking at the dispaly case, the boy behind the counter asked, if we needed help.. ... |
7 |
360 |
21 |
1.02 |
3/10/2007 2:54 pm |
|
|
VOTED Best Short Joke
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but
the mortgage on this house is $280, 000, and your mother
just lost her job. ... |
1 |
44 |
5 |
3.80 |
3/10/2007 8:10 am |
|
|
small head
man who have a small head get in the bar and the waitress asked...
what happen to you? why you have such a small head? man relpied, " you wont believe it if i tell you"..
waitress said "try me " man ... |
0 |
74 |
5 |
3.14 |
3/3/2007 11:54 am |
|
|
Three fascinating but true stories
Here are three stories from history for us to dwell upon.
The first one is the story of one of the most powerful nations that
arose from ashes to become a super power; the story of Japan. When ... |
0 |
33 |
3 |
3.43 |
2/28/2007 10:26 am |
|
|
THE WILL
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art.
They had everything in their collection, from Picasso
to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works
of art. ... |
0 |
19 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/28/2007 10:21 am |
|
|
HOW TO KEEP WARM.
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy
one cold, blustery January day.
The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing
cold."
The mother replied, "Put your ... |
0 |
30 |
3 |
5.39 |
2/27/2007 6:28 am |
|
|
Teacher teach 8th Standard Students.
A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day,
she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's ... |
0 |
25 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/27/2007 4:52 am |
|
|
Great mail to receive on a Friday - HAVE FUN
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects
are actually either male or female.
Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold ... |
0 |
27 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/26/2007 8:05 am |
|
|
3 ACCOUNTANTS...
Three accountants were standing at the urinals.
The first accountant finished and walked over to the sink
to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper ... |
0 |
24 |
3 |
4.41 |
2/26/2007 12:36 am |
|
|
GOOD ONE...
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the
first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged
into the living room and ... |
0 |
17 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/26/2007 12:33 am |
|
|
Know When to Quit.
guy with a 25-inch prick went to a doctor and said, "I
can't live with this anymore! It's too long."
The doctor replied, "I can't do anything for
you, but if you see the witch doctor in the ... |
0 |
17 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/26/2007 12:30 am |
|
|
ALone
I was cold and hurting lost out in the night wandering and searching for heaven's light
I saw the night sky clearing when you spread your rainbow wings But little did I know what joy you would ... |
0 |
3 |
0 |
0.00 |
2/25/2007 9:40 pm |
|
|
The Top Ten Reasons
The Top Ten Reasons
Men Prefer Guns Over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when
you're on the ... |
3 |
44 |
13 |
3.48 |
2/25/2007 8:14 am |
|
|
An ADULT "Whale of a tale"
A whale of a tale Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side
in the ocean. Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the
distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed ... |
0 |
29 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/25/2007 7:32 am |
|
|
HAVE A LAUGH...
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill
his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.The professor passed out
a sheet of ... |
0 |
19 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/25/2007 7:32 am |
|
|
SF Chronicle-The Whale
The Whale
If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle,
you would have read about a female humpback whale
who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps
and ... |
0 |
9 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/25/2007 7:31 am |
|
|
BREAKING A BAD HABIT
Two wives were talking about their husbands' habitual
going home late.
"How did you break your husband's habit of staying
out all night?"
"Simple, one night when he came home late, I ...
|
0 |
16 |
1 |
3.70 |
2/25/2007 2:39 am |
|
|
WHO AM I?
Guess who I am??
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood
on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars
were in the driveway.
His walk was ... |
1 |
29 |
3 |
2.94 |
2/22/2007 8:50 am |
|
|
CONFESSION...
ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with
a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was ... |
0 |
25 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/22/2007 8:48 am |
|
|
Enjoy the Chinese Way.
A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth
be told, he - a waiter - is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets
as her husband ... |
1 |
49 |
7 |
3.30 |
2/22/2007 8:40 am |
|
|
Ole blue -- funneee!!
A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of
the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money
his parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls ... |
0 |
12 |
2 |
5.20 |
2/22/2007 7:54 am |
|
|
Sunday Humour..
Maria a beautiful Latino fell in love with Jose. She planned
to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans,
she decided to tell her papa. Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find ... |
0 |
11 |
2 |
3.81 |
2/22/2007 7:50 am |
|
|
SECRET...
The secret of contentment is knowing
how to enjoy what you have and to be able to lose all desire
for things beyond your reach. Let's not be materialistics,
we good in ... |
0 |
20 |
3 |
4.41 |
2/22/2007 7:01 am |
|
|
1001 Ways To Say "I Love You"
1. T play your song. 413. Make a collage of your love's favorite. photos.
Have it scanned into a computer and printed poster size. 414. Leave 11 roses on your love's car seat, give them
the 12th ... |
2 |
36 |
2 |
1.04 |
2/21/2007 9:36 pm |
|
|
101 Most Romantic/Passionate/Sweet Things To Do For Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend
(101 steps to having a good relationship)
... |
0 |
16 |
0 |
0.00 |
2/21/2007 9:33 pm |
|
|
FRIENDS INDEED
Three men were sitting on a park bench. the one in the middle
was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to
fish. they baited imaginary hooks, casted lines and reeled
in their catch.
... |
0 |
18 |
2 |
3.81 |
2/21/2007 8:25 pm |
|
|
smart toddler
while i was in line at the bank one afternoon a toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
finally the mother was able to grab hold of her after receiving look of disgust and ... |
0 |
40 |
2 |
3.81 |
2/20/2007 9:38 pm |
|
|
Golfing Couple
A young couple decided to paly golf one weekend. The course
they were playing surprisingly had only two kind of plants
- pussywilows and butterscoths.
The wife teed off and hit the ball really ... |
1 |
38 |
1 |
2.40 |
2/20/2007 4:04 am |
|
|
snow prediction
a very embarrassed female news anchor who will in the future
, likely think before she speak. what happen when u predict snow but dont get any! a female news anchor, that the day after it was ... |
0 |
36 |
3 |
4.90 |
2/20/2007 12:54 am |
|
|
not tonight honey
One night a man rolls over in bed, giving his wife a big grin.
She says "NOt tonight honey, I have a gynecologist's
appointment tomorrow,
I want to stay fresh and clean"
The man, ... |
4 |
114 |
17 |
4.54 |
2/19/2007 6:39 am |
|
|
Prosti helps stronger marriage relatioship
my idea about prostitution is very disgusting yet we cant
deny the fact that it thus exist knowing its human seling
body to service. one thing we dont know that it helps stronger
the marriage ... |
0 |
21 |
1 |
5.00 |
2/11/2007 6:14 am |
|
|
PICK UP LINES...for those who want to fool around
1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..
2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..
3. Uy ... |
1 |
37 |
2 |
2.42 |
2/11/2007 1:55 am |
|
|
Sexy Guy (NOT!!!) :) :)
You are sooooo SEXY!
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd ... |
2 |
78 |
7 |
3.30 |
2/9/2007 8:14 pm |
|
|
FRIED EGGS
A WIFE WAS MAKING A BREAKFAST OF FRIED EGGS FOR HER HUSBAND, SUDDENLY, HER
HUSBAND BURST INTO THE KITCHEN.
CAREFUL"HE SAID, "CAREFUL!PUT IN SOME MORE
buttER!OH MY GOD!
YOU'RE COOKING ... |
0 |
24 |
1 |
5.00 |
2/8/2007 9:19 pm |
|
|
Lottery
A woman come home, screeching her car into the driveway, and
ran into the house.She slammed the door and shouted at the
top of her lungs, :Honey, pack your bags.I won a lottery!
The husband said, ... |
19 |
576 |
73 |
1.09 |
2/8/2007 9:06 pm |
|
|
SHORTS
A mature woman in dark suit wa sitting in a bar having a drink.
One very esxy young man, like brad Pit, came over and whispered"I'll
do anything you want me to do for $20."
The mature woman took ... |
1 |
43 |
2 |
3.81 |
2/5/2007 9:27 pm |
|
|
You are sooooo SEXY!
Your not sexy not to say.
i'd have anyone else anyway.
your so fat like everyone else.
i'd rather go out with my friend chels.
You getting as big as santa ... |
0 |
31 |
1 |
2.40 |
2/2/2007 10:08 pm |
|
|
Love Notes
Heart has reason which reason itself can not understand.
Its a matter of unexpected and unpredictable circumstances
that meets our hearts and minds for a purpose. Destiny will
leads us to that ... |
0 |
36 |
0 |
0.00 |
2/1/2007 8:01 am |
|
|
No title
Housework was a woman's job...but one evening, Jenny
arrived from work to find the children bathed, one load
of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.
Dinner was on the stove, ... |
0 |
21 |
2 |
4.50 |
1/30/2007 4:28 pm |
|
|
RETURN
GO FOR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU
NOT ONLY FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE ITS NEVER WRONG TO LOVE A PERSON
WHO BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE
BUT IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO ... |
6 |
68 |
16 |
2.39 |
1/29/2007 6:42 pm |
|
|
Holy Molly! It's a Miracle!
I came from an exclusive school for girls being run by nuns.
One morning, during our Theology class, our novice teacher
stood right between me and my classmate. She was so excited
in discussing ... |
0 |
26 |
0 |
0.00 |
1/29/2007 9:00 am |
|
|
Anticipation is Everything
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter,
a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for
a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " replied ... |
0 |
20 |
2 |
3.81 |
1/28/2007 1:27 pm |
|
|
A Poem For Boys
The grossest thing for me to see
is my bathroom floor all full of pee.
Why can't they make it in the bowl?
Don't they see there is a hole?
Out in the woods, they think it's cute
to ... |
4 |
46 |
8 |
1.39 |
1/25/2007 3:37 pm |
|
|
Marriage as a Card Game
Marriage is a gamble.
You start with a pair.
He shows a diamond.
She shows a heart.
Her father has a club.
His father has a spade.
There's usually a joker around somewhere.
But after a ... |
2 |
40 |
7 |
3.30 |
1/25/2007 3:05 pm |
|
|
The Male Mind
10 Things Women Will Simply Never Understand
Men are a misunderstood a lot, which all in all is probably
for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat
with our ... |
0 |
29 |
1 |
3.70 |
1/25/2007 2:56 pm |
|
|
Make a Wish
A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated
their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared
and said that because they had been such a loving couple
all those years, ... |
2 |
31 |
4 |
3.25 |
1/25/2007 1:55 pm |
|
|
The Laundry
"I think you should live each day as if it were your
last. That's why I don't have any clean clothes
because, really, who wants to do laundry on the last day
of their ... |
1 |
21 |
2 |
3.12 |
1/25/2007 1:24 pm |
|
|
The "Guyness" Quotient
OK, all you guys out there, take this test to determine your
"Guyness" Quotient." And I am sure all
of you ladies out there will find this more than amusing,
since you have to put up with all of ... |
0 |
13 |
1 |
5.00 |
1/25/2007 12:56 pm |
|
|
New Dating Service for Women
Every unmarried person in the universe agrees on one thing:
hanging out in bars is the worst way to meet a potential mate.
This leaves me wondering why The Village Tavern looks like
a shark tank ... |
0 |
27 |
1 |
3.70 |
1/24/2007 1:11 pm |
|
|
Cooking with Bachelors
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation
drifted from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook once, " said one, "but
I could never do anything with it."
"Too ... |
0 |
18 |
1 |
3.70 |
1/24/2007 12:03 pm |
|
|
Why coffee is better than coffee
- Coffee doesn't leave the toilet seat up.
- A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
- You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.
- Coffee comes with endless refills.
- Coffee is out ... |
3 |
44 |
6 |
2.51 |
1/23/2007 6:15 pm |
|
|
Blondes trying to identify tracks
Three blondes are walking in the woods. They come across
a set of tracks.
The 1st blonde looks closely and says: "Those are
moose tracks".
The 2nd blonde crouches down and ... |
0 |
40 |
1 |
5.00 |
1/23/2007 6:13 pm |
|
|
The mirror of truth
There is a mirror in a women's restroom in a restauraunt.
If you say something truthful while looking into the mirror,
you will receive 1 wish. If you say some that's not truthful
the mirror will ... |
1 |
23 |
1 |
5.00 |
1/23/2007 6:11 pm |
|
|
Useful Work Tips
Here are some incredibly useful phrases you can use when
in the workplace...
If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…
If you don’t know how it works, call it a ... |
1 |
15 |
3 |
2.94 |
1/23/2007 11:18 am |
|
|
Do You Like Apples
Do You Like Apples"
Hey again...first thanks for the folks who enjoyed my Lil
story about " My Best Friend"...I have recieved
a few interresting emails about it to say the least..Most
from young ... |
1 |
37 |
1 |
5.00 |
1/23/2007 6:44 am |
|
|
Comebacks to Pickup Lines
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: ... |
4 |
27 |
10 |
2.19 |
1/23/2007 12:02 am |
|
|
LIVING WILL
WHILE I WAS WATCHING SOME SPORTS ON TV ONE WEEKEND, MY WIFE
AND I GOT INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, AND THE
NEED FOR LIVING WILLS.
DURING THE COURSE OF THE CONVERSATION, I ... |
1 |
34 |
4 |
5.19 |
1/22/2007 7:24 am |
|
|
Birthday Wish
Man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife
turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd
like to have for her ... |
0 |
44 |
4 |
5.19 |
1/20/2007 2:12 pm |
|
|
Parking place
Jake was driving down the street in a sweat
because he had an important meeting couldnt find a parking
place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said"Lord pity on me
, if you find me a parking place ... |
1 |
40 |
2 |
5.20 |
1/15/2007 11:11 pm |
|
|
Reasons to stay at work all night...
1. Act out your version of a company takeover.
2. Find a way to change everyone’s password to “chrysanthemum”.
3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still
on in ... |
0 |
12 |
2 |
5.20 |
1/15/2007 7:27 pm |
|
|
Dr. Phil on Obsessions
Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four
young mothers and their small children. "You all
have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obssessed with ... |
6 |
67 |
14 |
4.26 |
1/10/2007 12:46 pm |
|
|
Only In America
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in ... |
1 |
36 |
6 |
4.50 |
1/6/2007 7:05 pm |
|
|
Lots of fun things to do at your local swimming pool.
Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come
down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs
because you have seen at least 15 people drown today. ...
|
1 |
107 |
2 |
1.73 |
1/6/2007 4:57 am |
|
|
Things you would never know without the movies
During all police investigations it will be necessary
to visit a strip club at least once.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits
555.
Most dogs are immortal. ...
|
1 |
22 |
2 |
5.20 |
1/6/2007 4:55 am |
|
|
Actual words found in church newsletters
1) Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
2) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church
and community.
3) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to ... |
2 |
29 |
2 |
5.20 |
1/6/2007 4:52 am |
|
|
Ban dihydrogen Monoxide
Dihydrogen monoxide is colourless, odourless, tasteless,
and kills
uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these
deaths are
caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers ... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
1/6/2007 4:50 am |
|
|
DREAMS...
One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom,
how come every night I hear you and daddy fighting and yelling,
but when I look in your room you're on top of each other?"
... |
0 |
24 |
3 |
5.39 |
1/6/2007 4:41 am |
|
|
Desert Island
A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was
lost. A man found himself swept up on the shore of an island
with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas
and coconuts.
Used ... |
0 |
28 |
2 |
3.12 |
1/2/2007 9:08 pm |
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Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in
that time management course you sent me."
"Whew! Guess I left the top ... |
2 |
51 |
4 |
4.41 |
1/1/2007 1:04 pm |
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Gravy
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal,
his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's
roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship
between John and his ... |
0 |
87 |
3 |
2.94 |
1/1/2007 3:50 am |
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Marriage Views
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, then you see what
the other fellow has, and you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail ... |
1 |
22 |
4 |
3.25 |
12/30/2006 7:50 pm |
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COLLEGE FINAL
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking
Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes,
midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A"
so far for the semester.
... |
0 |
78 |
2 |
3.81 |
12/30/2006 3:53 am |
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Burger King
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
Answer:
Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper. [/C... |
0 |
12 |
2 |
3.81 |
12/30/2006 2:53 am |
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Lightning Storm...
Why do blondes smile when
there's lightning?
Answer:
Because they think they're getting their picture ... |
0 |
50 |
2 |
3.81 |
12/30/2006 2:49 am |
|
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CRITICISM...
Criticism
Although politics has historically been considered an
honorable profession, many people today have a poor opinion
of politicians as a class. Not only do people oftentimes
disagree with ... |
0 |
12 |
1 |
5.00 |
12/30/2006 2:21 am |
|
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50 OBSERVATIONS ABOUT WOMEN
.Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where
they feel like they're actually in control.
2.Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need"
is irrelevant, so don't ... |
0 |
17 |
2 |
3.81 |
12/27/2006 6:13 pm |
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MESSAGES FROM MEN TO WOMEN
1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.
2) Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
3) Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4) Birthdays, ... |
0 |
14 |
4 |
1.69 |
12/27/2006 6:09 pm |
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What a Woman Wants in a Man ????????????
What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
-----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good ... |
2 |
48 |
8 |
5.10 |
12/25/2006 7:44 pm |
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GENDER ITEMS
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything
in, but you can always see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it
appears useful for a wide ... |
0 |
18 |
4 |
4.80 |
12/25/2006 7:41 pm |
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The Elephant
Mark and his wife took their young son for his first visit
to the circus, and by chance, their seats were next to the
elephant pen. When Mark left to buy popcorn, the boy piped
up, "Mom!!! what's ... |
0 |
20 |
3 |
3.92 |
12/17/2006 6:36 am |
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When Things Work Out Between a Man and a Woman
For engineers:
- Aerospace engineers fly you to the moon and back.
- Chemical engineers work with heat transfer and can make
explosive reactions.
- Civil engineers build mighty ... |
2 |
29 |
3 |
4.90 |
12/15/2006 4:13 pm |
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Husband Technical Support....
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes
to the accounting modules, limiting access to ... |
2 |
27 |
4 |
4.80 |
12/13/2006 6:20 pm |
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GETTING OLD
There was a man who really took care of his body. One day he
took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over
except for his penis. So he decided to do something about
it. He went to ... |
2 |
53 |
10 |
5.58 |
12/13/2006 6:11 pm |
|
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hahaha...
1) 5 minutes ago you were traveling to office at 80 mph in
your brand new car. Now you are traveling to hospital at
double the speed in an ambulance. You wish there was UND... |
0 |
30 |
3 |
5.39 |
12/13/2006 4:07 pm |
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I'm glad I'm a man
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe; I don't
live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don't
bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can
get where I want to -- north, ... |
1 |
42 |
5 |
5.10 |
12/13/2006 3:39 pm |
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Blind, Blonde & Ballsy...
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says,
"Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm
blonde. The man behind me is a ... |
1 |
26 |
4 |
5.57 |
12/13/2006 3:26 pm |
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Three Girls Go "CAMPING"
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and
a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom.
She went into he woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
... |
0 |
29 |
4 |
5.57 |
12/13/2006 3:17 pm |
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Brain Transplant
A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said,
"Well, I've got some good news and some bad news.
The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumour.
The good news is our hospital ... |
1 |
64 |
5 |
2.49 |
12/11/2006 6:50 pm |
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Taking Back The Colony
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President
of the USA and thus to govern ... |
1 |
42 |
2 |
3.12 |
12/11/2006 6:48 pm |
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LOVE,LUST AND MARRIAGE
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is ... |
1 |
78 |
0 |
0.00 |
12/11/2006 6:47 pm |
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Pre-relationship agreement
The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"),
being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following
with the party of the second part (herein referred to as
"him"):
... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
12/11/2006 6:44 pm |
|
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A perfect man and perfect woman
A perfect man and perfect woman
There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect
courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together
was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, ... |
2 |
25 |
0 |
0.00 |
12/11/2006 6:41 pm |
|
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Girlfriend Updates
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend
and I've been having some problems lately. I've
been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever
as my primary application, and ... |
1 |
396 |
1 |
5.00 |
12/11/2006 6:39 pm |
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Tampo, Should We Men Do So Too?
A mis-spoken word, a simple misunderstanding is blown
out of proportion by the Filipina and she goes into tampo.
Instead of asking for clarification on the matter, she
simply closes down into her ... |
4 |
34 |
10 |
2.79 |
12/9/2006 3:15 am |
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KNOW THE VARIOUS HEIGHTS
What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip
*************************************************************
What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
... |
0 |
16 |
4 |
4.41 |
12/6/2006 5:50 am |
|
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Englishman and Santa...
An englishman and santa inside
the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!... |
0 |
34 |
3 |
5.39 |
12/6/2006 5:34 am |
|
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Tongue Twisters and some gr8 toons
Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in
place of his regular teacher.
She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When
you say my name class, remember it has an "r" ... |
0 |
16 |
4 |
5.57 |
12/3/2006 5:28 am |
|
|
Ouch!!!
Ouch!
A Sardar, recently arrived in the US, wanting to earn some
money,
decides to become a 'handy-man' and starts looking
for some work in an
upmarket colony ... |
0 |
28 |
3 |
5.39 |
12/3/2006 5:24 am |
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Snow in Caribbean..?!!??!!?
A lady goes on vacation to the Caribbean.
Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of
passionate love making she asks him, "What is your
name?"
"I can't tell you, ... |
2 |
54 |
3 |
5.39 |
12/3/2006 4:44 am |
|
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CONVERSATION KING
Hot Babe sells out the sisterhood and spills the magic beans!
That’s right guys, this “Premium Piece of Prime Real Estate”
is singing like a canary. She’s willingly opening her flood-gates
and is ... |
0 |
22 |
3 |
5.39 |
11/28/2006 10:03 pm |
|
|
The Teacher and the Student...
Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in
place of his regular teacher.
She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When
you say my name class, remember it has an "r" ... |
0 |
23 |
3 |
5.39 |
11/28/2006 6:21 pm |
|
|
The Horse Race
Horses Racing Today....
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Smooth Thighs
8. Big ... |
0 |
23 |
2 |
5.20 |
11/28/2006 7:26 am |
|
|
Sad Poems...
If Love is a Universal emotion, then the pain it often causes
(some might say inevitably causes) is equally Universal.
Yet, that only begs the more important question: Why do
sad poems and stories ... |
0 |
13 |
3 |
5.39 |
11/28/2006 6:33 am |
|
|
Twenty Responses to Use With Telemarketers
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed
for bankruptcy andyou could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?"
say, "I'm so glad you asked, because ... |
0 |
34 |
3 |
1.96 |
11/21/2006 6:31 pm |
|
|
Actual answer given on"FAMILY FORTUNES'
Name something a blind person might use - A sword
Name a song with moon in the title - Blue suede moon
Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell
Name an ... |
0 |
20 |
2 |
1.04 |
11/21/2006 6:27 pm |
|
|
Ten things to do in public bathroom.
1.Come out of the stall with wet hands.
2.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Darn,
I almost made it!'
3.Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.
... |
0 |
16 |
5 |
2.82 |
11/21/2006 6:24 pm |
|
|
GORDON BROWN-THE STRANGLER-LYRICS
Gordon Brown, tax me, go on!
Take my money - almost all gone!
With New Labour in,
We'll just never win.
Ever a frown, with Gordon Brown.
Every new budget hurts like the last.
... |
0 |
16 |
1 |
0.00 |
11/21/2006 6:22 pm |
|
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THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF
Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally
one club and two balls.
Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object ... |
4 |
65 |
7 |
2.02 |
11/21/2006 6:19 pm |
|
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Don't get MAD....
Husband:When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How
do you control your anger?
Wife clean the toilet bowl.
Husband:How does that help?
Wife use your ... |
6 |
70 |
15 |
2.06 |
11/21/2006 6:12 pm |
|
|
DOGWOOD
Joke of the day:
Bateman on algebraic not between it collegian may bulletin
the bucket but blockhouse be bubble not bellow or cosmology
be acetic but buchenwald be bacilli see damascus ... |
0 |
8 |
3 |
5.39 |
11/21/2006 6:11 am |
|
|
AMBROSIA
Just for fun:
Baird but abrupt see bunkmate or coccidiosis some avocet
it bateau try andre be catatonic some coquette the convect
on dogfish see catherine the cretan a deterrent ... |
0 |
21 |
3 |
5.39 |
11/21/2006 6:08 am |
|
|
CEREBELLUM
Riddle of the day:
Crux a becker be deportation see accusation not consume
some adolphus and charisma on decompression be boast try
bristol not desolate be accountant or chemistry may ... |
0 |
15 |
3 |
5.39 |
11/21/2006 5:37 am |
