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indeed! sometimes in the midst of trying to define someone we erred on making false assumptions by just the virtue of reading what they posted or in manner their share their engaging thoughts in the chatroom.
do we have the right to make assumptions of others without having thoroughly knowing who they are? at what point do we know someone anyway? would it be enough that by conversing with someone on the chatroom - viola! we certainly know how they are or who they are and what they are.
its hard to validate assumptions specially giving in a timeframe that is to irrational and only based on gut feelings. perhaps was given at a point when somehow unknowingly you have offended someone, bruised their ego or unintentionally invaded their space or at a point wherein you are not in the best of mood. regardless there is nothing wrong with providing assumption and yet there is also nothing wrong in refuting the fallacy of assumption. would i refute assumption? i would not. the burden of truly knowing me is on them. they must on the course of their lives must know me extensively if they want me to be a part of their lives.
be as it may, some of us becomes victim of a false assumption and suddenly most become convinced because of that false assumption that you are indeed such and such without them actually knowing you in an extended period of time.
they said that i have a high regard of myself and that nakarating lang ako sa america ay kung sino na ako. everyone must have a high regard of themselves. by mostly having that, its the foundation of having a healthy life and then acquiring an excellent perspective of life. but to assume that someone only having a high regard of themselves because of where they are or have been or dahil nakarating sa america is making a mockery of one's insecurity.
none of us has the purity of values and therefore assumptions are sometimes false and never right specially given at a point that one never was closed to you or have been intimate with us.
i was not offended by the assumptions accorded on my behalf, after all eveyone has the right to make assumptions and even share it with many. but to others it could be dismaying experience to the point that to them it becomes a nightmare because they have been ill defined by virtue of that assumptions. but no one could ever define us except ourselves. and if you have a high regard of yourself, then nothing matters including false assumption.
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my personal serendipity!
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Jun 18, 2009 9:59 am
698 Views
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i deleted my blog yesterday because the product was entirely different from the finished product that i wrote. perhaps there was a glitched in the system that what was posted was my initial writings without the added paragraphs that i thought should be a part of that blog.
anyway here it is, my thoughts on serendipity!
serendipity are mostly understood and defined by most as the magical moment wherein you are connected with someone right off the bat of seeing or meeting him or her.
many are longing for serendipity to happen in their lives and many thought and believed that relationship evolving in such a fashion will endure the test of time and they will be forever loving each other.
i have my own personal definition of serendipity. its not by any means based on finding you or us in a magical moment. its actually finding myself and allowing myself to love again without regards to anything.
i know the most obvious reason why i just don't pursue someone or have a relationship with someone - is i put a lot of obstacles in the process by which i transform liking initially someone into loving someone.
maybe i intentionally project a persona of conceitedness and arrogance, for one thing so that i could find the one that is truly interested and who is simpleminded and openminded in taking a chance in considering me as a treasure to have!.
i have more than a dozen of obstacles that deters me in loving someone - primarily because i want her to be as wonderful as she could be to compliment the life we want or both agreed to live.
in the process, i then consider many aspects of her life or who she is. if she is young, then regretfully i will not consider her unless of course she is at least a year older than my eldest. i guess the reason is out of respect to my children.
when i email you and you didnt respond, that would the end of it. when i invite you out and you declined, i would never invite you again and that too would be the end of it. when i know someone that liking you, specially if he is a friend or an acquiantance, i would give way and that too is the end of it.
you see, i thought finding my own serendipity will allow me to totally ignore all the obstacles and barriers i created mentally in pursuing and loving her. i wish it would come soon!
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a treasure to have!
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Jun 11, 2009 7:19 pm
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for now i had enough! conceited guys do take breaks and rest too!
yes i am catching the red eye and will be arriving dallas, texas 6am, friday and will be spending time with my kids and grandkids till next tuesday afternoon.
i make it a point when i am with my kids and grandkids that i stay away from things that will take me away from them. how that's sounds? a very conceited father and grandad i guess! but they love it, they get to be spoiled with my presence and letting them spending their inheritance.
yes there will dinings, movies, breakfast at the IHOPs - and shopping of course. yeah dining, specially at the HOOTERS. yeah my girls grew up at the hooters including my grandkids. i just like the chicken wings, the oysters, the crab legs and the curly fries there, and its the only place i can drink 3 glasses of beer.
and then the hooters women, they do looks great!
who said conceited guy don't know how to have fun? 
well thanks to you all who have visited and read my blogs and made commentaries too. who knows one day you can tame this conceited guy and then become a treasure to have!
if i dont see you soon, see you next wednesday or thursday.
enjoy the weekend everyone!
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how's your attitude?
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Jun 11, 2009 12:54 pm
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how's your attitude about money? i thought i should know how you deal with money. is it an end by itself or it a medium to enjoy and acquire things? some hoard money at the expense of enjoying the moment and some spend money at the expense of the future. so how do you balance yourself when it pertains to money?
my personal attitude about money is - its something that i can earn and then must be spent to enjoy the many amenities of life it can afford to buy. you need not necessarily be rich to enjoy life, but i know others who are rich and yet i thought are or were miserable or are missing a lot in life because they are preoccupied in enriching themselves. they don't know how to part or spend that money that they die with so much left for the survivors to quarrel and to fight about. what sort of a wasted life is that just enriching oneself!
i'd never been particular about saving money. i guess it has something to do with my luck, ever since as a boy earning money through tending the farm and selling newspapers/komiks and shining shoes, i always have money - and then i have never been affected by any recessions. i had a career in the navy that lasted 26 years. it didn't get me rich and yet i traveled almost around the world and was exposed and had experienced variety of cultures and adventures. now i am on my 8 years tenure in a secured government job - but still not rich and don't own a house, a lot or a condo. but happy nevertheless!
i never hoard money nor i am into acquiring materials things such as a house or properties. if i did i would have been rich by now in material things. but at what price? missing that many things about what matters to life other than money!
you see when one is preoccupied about accumulating assets and personal wealth, there are also opportunity cost specially in terms of abundance of life experiences.
how many would dare at age 50 to give up everything for a year of wanton abandon. yes i did. right away after i retired from the navy, i sold my house and everything i got and then found myself heavily in debt a year later. but that was really the best year of my life - carefree and enjoying every moment of it. it was sort of trying to do a last hurrah - wine, women and travel.
but at this stage of my life since i went back to work in 2002, i have money - courtesy of a great paying job. still no much but money nevertheless. i even bought my youngest brand new CRV last October in cash, and i have about $??K still left over and if i continue to work i would have probably at least $???k by the time i am 62. what good is that money anyway since i have 3 pensions coming in at age 62? i guess i have to figure that out.
but what i dont want to do is tied down that money on a property. i must simply use that money to enjoy life with my kids and grandkids. its why i always tell and let my kids spend their inheritance now. i even did not allow my youngest to work because i told her once you start working, you will be working forever. instead i finance her travel during school breaks to visit places and relatives.
when i am with my friends here in california i always wind up paying the bill because they are property rich and cash poor. most of their money goes to paying the mortgage, and then some of them went kaput or house been foreclosed because of the current recession brought about mostly by the housing bubble. imagine most of them are tied to their properties that cant even afford a night in town.
so tell me your attitude about money! mine is to earn and spend it. i rather die broke because by doing so i know i have enjoyed life and was generous to my kids and grandkids!
hmm another thoughts from a conceited man!
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the continuing saga of a conceited man!
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Jun 10, 2009 12:23 pm
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the continuing saga of the conceited man? how did i become one? all i know is i never was conceited in person, or maybe unawarely i was. but how could that be when through the years i have been liked and loved - and perhaps adored by women either from the distance or up close and personal. or maybe i wasn't and its all in my mind and all these years i have been conceited.
how could any man of humble beginnings be so conceited? maybe its possible true transformational or its perhaps he is at that stage of life yearning for attention - perhaps caring and affection too? but could if be possible that he is not really that conceited in person - and because of the way he writes, he projects an appearance of being conceited, arrogant and obnoxious.
in retrospect, i could not have won many student elections like having been the president of my junior and senior class or being elected to the student council in college twice. you can't win elections unless you are not conceited or having a persona that is amiable and well liked. one arrogance could be easily detected and its an anathema to the student electorate.
i supposed i have others admiring qualities that i was chosen to lead. or perhaps my down to earth demeanor was the primary reason why i passed the oral interview in the navy - a prelude to a life of discipline and yet with abundance in experiences and travels.
i have been blessed in many ways and those would not easily come to fruition and by any means to a man who is conceited. its perplexing to say the least!
i was never conceited and still now in person. again its perhaps the nature of my writings that it seems i am conceited. but writings is a portrayal of a different dimension - just a product perhaps of an intellectual exercise - stimulating one's ability to convey even the most provoking thoughts. could i not change the way i write, you may ask? maybe and then tell me how!
i guess when i started blogging, i may have been transformed to be conceited. but how one could not be conceited when one writes something about one's life, experiences and wisdom's gained through the years - and then the things one likes to achieve and to have in the remaining years of one's life.
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confession of a conceited man!
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Jun 9, 2009 10:03 pm
672 Views
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i must confess if you judge me by my past, i will not be deserving of anyone's love or being in a relationship with any decent and wonderful woman.
maybe it was me after all that that cause the demise of my marriage and not her lacking the tenacity to devotedly love me, and giving me the attention and caring i should have deserved. or we could have been both the cause because we grew apart too early. her busy with her many things, pursuit of career and prolonging her passion for the things that suits her well and not mindful that she was a married woman.
or perhaps the independence she acquired too early in our marriage life on the account of having a husband that was frequently away on extended travels somewhere because of a military assignments.
or perhaps whatever or however it was then, it could also because we were younger then and lacking the wisdom of experience!
but no regrets! as everyone has their twists and turns in their lives, i had mine.
stolen kisses and wild sex everywhere! i had moments like that when i was young and have a raging hormones and unstoppable libido - at the car, at the park, at the train, at the hallway, at the garage, at the kitchen, at the corner of the street and at the restroom. no i never like it at the bedroom - its the last place i want to make love or unleash my passion, its just too restraining!
yes i was a risk taker when i was young! so are most everyone! i was no different.
yes there were moments like that when i was drawn by wild sex and not love. the more thrilling, the most exciting and most intoxicating it was, the more i was a willing participant.
the truth is i never understood why women were drawn to me during my younger days - there were one night stands and married women that fall into my lap without me lifting a finger.
perhaps i sported an air of arrogance then that attract women of passion and sex into my life!
but it was then and please don't judge me by my past. its totally different now. it is for such reason that at this stage in my life, i know what i want and why i shared or posted my blog on what it would take for me to propose! i had my lessons and would like earnestly that my next relationship is entirely different from my past and will be successful through the end.
p.s. its only when my marriage was breaking apart that i allowed myself to be taken advantage by women, and of course before i was married too. so its before and after episodes of my marriage life!
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why didnt you tell about yourself?
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Jun 8, 2009 4:58 pm
1042 Views
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why didn't you tell about yourself? you should have taken the opportunity to sell yourself on the things you can bring in a relationship - the strengths and the weaknesses combined. i am sure that there are others who are interested in knowing how you envisioned to live your life with someone.
you could have gotten his attention and then arouse his passion to pursue you because not only you have great things to offer but you are a sensible woman willing to express and share your traits, other qualities and the totality of your persona - be good or bad. instead you choose to just make a comment without telling anything how a guy could have a fortunate and wonderful life with you. or you are just too afraid to take your stake and said, i am a wonderful woman deserving of a wonderful guy and a wonderful life.
why didn't' you? its because to say so and tell something about yourself is against the values and the tenets you live by - culturally perhaps as a pinay. but i thought things and times has changed and still changing. well what can i do now? you miss your opportunity. i guess you only accepts the changes that suits you - and now a guy as conceited and arrogant as i am continues to abhor you!
but here it is sharing everyone the few things you said and i said:
Quoting Kamasutrachic:can I just sing a song for you, Antonio?
and imagine...ala Janet Jackson ito...
"What have you done for me lately...ooohoooo haaaa!!!"
it's not just a one way trip to the moon, baby
you have to consider also the feeling ng babae
at hindi YOU...YOU...YOU...na lang palagi!!! (tse!)
how could it be about me when the blog is about you and us? there must be a clarify of purpose how we should live our lives together.
this blog is considering her feelings and many things about her!
saka this an answer to my other blog, "how would you propose?" now i telling my part on how i would propose?
Quoting venusangel:a guy doesn`t need to ask how to propose, especially if you ask a woman..don`t you think so??
i thought things has changed and women would like to have their cakes and eat it too. why can't i ask you the things i am looking for so i could consider it and then propose?
i think the more things are changing for women, the more they yearn for the old days. heck i want the old days. i will serenade you and profess my love and none of those things i listed on my blog i have to consider or would matter. but things now are too complicated for women and so is for men. the dynamics of relationship have changed dramatically and sometimes tragically. wow!
i want to know how my life will be spent with you!
Quoting luv_a_fair:ahhhhhh jane, i couldn't agree more! ...seems waiting and expecting are the major parts of the tapestry of his life...when the time could have been used to love, to let it grow and flourish through his remaining lifetime...
Quoting fantasiamore:yes liz, thank you, you have given the cue and key phrases there!
id been useful with my time with or without relationship. if i am not careful and would not get what i wanted, i am better off being single and enjoying the most of it - in plenty and abundance of endeavors.
happily endeavors i may add!
i have to know what would be my life with her. is that too much to ask for?
you would just don't know how nightmarish it is to plunge into an unknown relationship. we have to know for both sides!
Quoting luv_a_fair:if a glimpse to the future is as easy as gazing at a crystal ball, life would have been easier...but it doesn't happen that way...words and promises are no assurance either...the only way to know is to take a chance and make it happen...otherwise, all the hopes, yearnings and aspirations would all be for naught...
good luck...
on the contrary you are much better off plunging into a relationship with a point or frame of reference - at least you know and he knows what you want and you expect.
if half of the promises could be delivered, would you not be better off than none at all? at least there are promises, unlike none at all in which you just feel your way in and then feel your way out!
there must be a set of compass that will guide, help you navigate, and direct you to the life expected, and if you fail - at least you set a standard for yourself!
good luck to you!
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how woud you make me propose!
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Jun 7, 2009 3:36 pm
944 Views
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how would we propose? it would be different for everyone, specially now. there are so many things to consider from the looks, the character, the age, the compatibility in likes and dislikes; comparability in education, social status, earnings and pedigree. and etc,etc and etc.
others may propose just based on physical attraction alone or the consuming love they feel for someone. but for me its more than love or physical attraction in order for me to propose!
in my case, proposing would not come so easy and it will be a process that may take weeks depending on how often we interact and how easily revealing you are about your way of life, likes and dislikes.
initially i may like you with your looks and intelligence. but such things are superficial. there must be other things that i should know such as how do you view and want to live your life, and how attractive and amenable are you in a life i wanted in our relationship.
and there must be checklist to consider such as attitude about money or if you can live a life lacking in amenities or how many others are dependent on you for sustenance - and how long would be the duration of you helping them, would that be forever? and how would my contribution would be in that regards? would it be enough for you that i give you instead the money and help them without us discussing about how inconsiderate i am and that i must help them because i love you? i rather not have guilt trip to be a part of our relationship.
its not because we want us to be compatible or comparable in many respect. i just want to know if i could live the life you wanted and how easy it would be for me to give up the life i wanted or if somehow we can strike a compromise wherein we can live a life we each wanted and then more.
relationship at my stage of life is supposed to be the most sincere, stable, serene, gratifying, peaceful and yet profoundly meaningful and are focus on and with the pursuit of a life of happiness and contentment. its not a stage of life to quarrel, to be playing or messing around, and to disagree and to quarrel even on the most mundane of things. if there must be differences, it must be negligible and are sorted out easily and solved in matter of minutes and not too linger over an hour.
i am not going to propose out of love but instead i will propose out of knowing i can live a life with you that is satisfying in many ways and most respects and then love,mutual respect and admiration included.
so tell me what it is that you have or the attributes you have that will compel me to propose? could you bring in our relationship among others abundance of laughter, thrills, enjoyments, willingness to take risk such as making love discreetly on the airplane or the bus, willingness to travel, far and few distractions and less annoyances in our relationship? do you like sports or can you relate about sports? can we watched sports together either in the comfort of our home or in the arena or stadium? do you love the outdoors and could i count on you to walk for hours side by side either in the park or in the streets? can you be elegant in your dress while watching the opera or down to earth in your demeanor while feeding the kids at the orphanage?
are you settled in the pursuit of your career and nothing matter now but the nurturing of our relationship? do you have the appreciation to do things on the spur of the moment or you are methodical and you do things by the number? do you tune out and live a life within yourself unknowingly uncaring about my presence and how i feel? and for how long?
are you materialistic or you are type of person that can not be satisfied and cant appreciate the blessings of life and you just want more, and more and more? or wouldn't mind dying broke as i am because by dying broke it meant we have been generous and have live a life of fulfillment.
relationship is never enduring if its only based on love or attraction. there are other things that makes it enduring than love - stability in purpose is one of them and definitely knowing the life we wanted to live together is another.
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not by purpose!
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Jun 7, 2009 10:15 am
697 Views
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i thought that my blog yesterday,"not in the context to annoy you," is a blockbuster and a signature blog - not by purpose or by design, but a sort of revelation of my capacity to be different in that blog which shown a unique and yet a realistic dimension of my other persona; the person of being indifferent to my blogs!
we could all be indifferent i guess, not necessarily by purpose or design; but by mere happenstance. that we too, the conceited man - obnoxious, overbearing, and arrogant in many respects may in one shining moment find our bearing and truly mesmerize others by our capacity to be humble, likable, down to earth, truly fallible and then forgiving. i thought i did in my own conceited and abhorrent way!
i really thought i did! but the truth is i have been living a humbled life, humbled by experiencing the early rigors of deprived life which is more than a thousand times deprived from the type of life i am enjoying now - ala carte with full amenities that my money can afford to buy or have!
heck at early age, it was a sustained struggle to earn a living, that i have to work in the farm plowing the fields, tending the carabaos, selling komiks and shining shoes and then later on as a waiter/bartender at the italian village restaurant in makati along edsa.
then by struck of luck, in january 1975 i have to say goodbye from the rigors of deprived life to the rigors of a good and yet disciplined military life that lasted 26 years.
and yet military life is also a humbling experience. its were i honed to become a diplomat and many other roles. my blog yesterday, "not in the context to annoy" is somehow brought about and a tribute to the many admirable qualities of a military man!
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not in the context to annoy you!
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Jun 6, 2009 5:14 pm
874 Views
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am i threatening you? no i am not. i never would and not in a million years. i have never done such a thing to my kids, to my friends and to my peers or anyone i'd been involved with. so why would i transform myself now to such a despicable behavior. i know myself and no one else and its not going to happen. so you may as well brace yourself and just let it go - that thought or the idea that i am capable of threatening someone and you specially!
i just could not understand why you continue to characterize me, when i have never characterized you as a person. i may have offended you through my blogs, but i never personally demean you. if somehow you felt that way, i am telling you now that it was not intended that way, and if sorry or apology will cut it for you, then i apologize.
or its perhaps because of our culture that when we feel anathema to someone, it lingers forever and we would never see that person in another or different light. they are forever in our eggy box even when we have not truly known that person. it is perhaps i preamble my blog "the fallacy of assumption" is because of how we are - so easily being judgmental and characterizing others without us truly experiencing up close and personal the true breadth of character and idiosyncrasies of that person.
we are truly fallible, i must admit it and that includes me no matter how i try to live my life with core values of honor, compassion, generosity, respect for others, inclusiveness, free-spirited, integrity and love for life! i would still going to hurt someone unknowingly as i think i hurt you!
there is only one blog that i dedicated to you entitled, "too abhorrent for you," which was merely a reaction to the things you said or i read in your commentaries in other blogs or in your blogs! but still that blog was lacking in personal characterization or demeaning you or disrespecting you. it was all done or written in the context of offering a different point of view. nothing more and nothing less!
blogs are supposed to be engaging and offering a different point of view or perspective on how life is live or how we see the many amalgam strokes in a canvass. it should never meant to characterized anyone personally. if some do, it should not bother us, but for the ladies - they are supposed to be above that. or maybe not for a few because things have changed or metamorphosed from the days of maria clara to now.
i know you are a classy lady, but nevertheless it's diminished by your sarcasm. you should give it up and then loosen up. it may just add minuscule stress in your life, nevertheless it is still stress. please don't waste a stress on such a thing because its not really worthed. there is nothing to gain except that you will always unfavorably react whenever you read my blogs and when i made commentaries to other blogs. and therefore i won and not you if there is such a contest of wits. for all you know i may be just laughing as a reaction to your sarcasm. which i do i must admit.
but this blog is written not in the context to annoy you. its an attempt to offer an explanation that if somehow i have wronged you, i deeply apologize.
blogs are in actuality should be a true representation of what a person is( i stand for my blogs). its his or her thoughts or the way he or she is. but nevertheless blogs is not his or her own totality as person up close and personal. if we let ourselves discover him or her through direct association or activities, we maybe surprise that it would be a humbling experience for us to know that we have been guilty of the fallacy of assumption - that somehow he or she is totally endearing, likable, amiable and down to earth as a person. i believe i have been endeared to those who attended the eb in vegas because they have experienced up close and personal the blogger in person. the vegas was an experience to cherish forever! wow!
the fallacy of assumption applies to everyone and i have never assumed who you are or anyone are. its just that the continuous sarcasm will hurt anyone in the long run. it could only mean many things, including that we have no sense of compromise and we are blatantly unforgiving.
but so be it. we have our own individuality and i respect you. go ahead and continue to blast me with your sarcasm. and perhaps the best i should do now is partially ignore you and let you be the way you want to be. no harm done and no loss taken. we have never been friends anyway! then why bother? we can't win them all!
this blogs sounds patronizing, but its an attempt to clear the mud and then offer my apology for those who dislikes my blogs!
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blogging is on hold!
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Jun 5, 2009 8:47 pm
557 Views
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i can't blog. it used to be as easy as counting 1,2,3 and the words will come and not a moment to pause when a sentence is written and then a paragraph completed.
but not this time. i just could not do it, right now at this moment. was it because i am still in cloud 9 and still reminiscing the magical moments i had in vegas with fellow bloggers and members of the group FEEL? there is no doubt i am still reminiscing. no! its more of a yearning and longing!
if you read ELZ thread about the EB in Vegas and then view the video that i had not seen, perhaps you would feel the yearning as i feel now - those happy and magical moments in vegas! WOW!
for now the blogging is on hold!
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