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The fallacy of assumption

indeed! sometimes in the midst of trying to define someone we erred on making false assumptions by just the virtue of reading what they posted or in manner their share their engaging thoughts in the chatroom.

do we have the right to make assumptions of others without having thoroughly knowing who they are? at what point do we know someone anyway? would it be enough that by conversing with someone on the chatroom - viola! we certainly know how they are or who they are and what they are.

its hard to validate assumptions specially giving in a timeframe that is to irrational and only based on gut feelings. perhaps was given at a point when somehow unknowingly you have offended someone, bruised their ego or unintentionally invaded their space or at a point wherein you are not in the best of mood. regardless there is nothing wrong with providing assumption and yet there is also nothing wrong in refuting the fallacy of assumption. would i refute assumption? i would not. the burden of truly knowing me is on them. they must on the course of their lives must know me extensively if they want me to be a part of their lives.

be as it may, some of us becomes victim of a false assumption and suddenly most become convinced because of that false assumption that you are indeed such and such without them actually knowing you in an extended period of time.

they said that i have a high regard of myself and that nakarating lang ako sa america ay kung sino na ako. everyone must have a high regard of themselves. by mostly having that, its the foundation of having a healthy life and then acquiring an excellent perspective of life. but to assume that someone only having a high regard of themselves because of where they are or have been or dahil nakarating sa america is making a mockery of one's insecurity.

none of us has the purity of values and therefore assumptions are sometimes false and never right specially given at a point that one never was closed to you or have been intimate with us.

i was not offended by the assumptions accorded on my behalf, after all eveyone has the right to make assumptions and even share it with many. but to others it could be dismaying experience to the point that to them it becomes a nightmare because they have been ill defined by virtue of that assumptions. but no one could ever define us except ourselves. and if you have a high regard of yourself, then nothing matters including false assumption.

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missing years!	Mar 15, 2009 10:05 pm 467 Views
reposting missing years! missing years! Aug 8, 2008 11:43 pm 185 Views have you ever wondered about your ability to account for all the years that gone by? how about if you can't and you have missing years? our lives should have point of references to remember the years gone by. others only point of reference were the relationship they had before. it could be just like the song, "to all the women that i loved before," that every women has to account for all the years gone by - for specific period or even prolong period perhaps. i have so many point of references to account for the years gone by, but not necessarily about women. i never was the glamour guy or even flambouyant with women. i always have been the quiet type wanting to be found. the type of guy that could not express love in the manner profoundly understandable and in ordinary fashion. i remember my first love, i was so destructive to myself that in my early teens of having felt that love - i was a drunkard and a heavy smoker and a gambler too. yeah i have those vices blended together that no women of her right mind would give me the benefit of the doubt, that i too have a promise of a future like anyone else. i cant blame them. but now in any measures, i am successful in many respects and in few endeavors. but still lacking and empty in the endeavors of the heart. hehehehehehe! i have missing years in terms of relationship. grade school, high school and college years were all missing years. i have no one to remember or to relate to that somehow someone loved me then. perhaps some did at a distance because of the enigma i had then. regardless, its still missing years. how about you? how was your missing years? wow grabe! this is DEEP! hehehehe!
	5 Comments

i never say goodbye!	Mar 15, 2009 9:58 pm 401 Views
reposting i never say goodbye! i never say goodbye! Aug 10, 2008 10:34 am 228 Views "Hello, was the first word we said, wonder if there would be Goodbye also? Can "Hello" be said without saying "Goodbye"?" Odette i never say goodbye. it connotes finality. an ending of a relationship or for that matter severing the ties with the present and then with the past never to reminisce and to restrospect. its just that's me that i seldom say goodbye and if i do, i dont mean it and its just a slip of my tounge. if its a relationship, i rather say sorry that we have to part our ways and that things didnt work out. at least by saying that, there is an appreciation of the moments shared, the loving affections felt and the activities enjoyed. to say goodbye is like rebooting one's mind and/or feelings, that those things that were not saved are gone forever. saying goodbye is inflicting sudden pain comparable to a heart attack of major proportion; and then without providing the process gradually to heal oneself. to say i am sorry is providing the initial dose of the healing process that must begin gradually, and its less painful i guess and manageable. we dont have to save literaly, but when we just say sorry instead of goodbye, it lingers there in a our trash bin readily available for us to either remember or continue to ignore, but its never gone. for me goodbye is gone forever. i never said goodbye to those women who loved me after my missing years. i have a vague recollection of them now, but at least i have it. and they have in their own personal way touched my life, but not profoundly as should be because they know they were just my convenient gfs while it lasted. they gifted me their love i believe without believing that i could be had for the long haul. it would be different then i supposed if i knew then that the navy will not uproot me and bring me to unknown distance places every two or three years to wander and to be found. the navy i supposed have given me the dysfunctional feelings about love - that somehow it may not last forever. but who knows thru blogging i may discover a new me - wanting to be truly loved, and then believing in love and finally love her too the best i got. lets see! sorry i have to indulge you with my thoughts.
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breaking someone's heart!	Mar 13, 2009 7:19 pm 725 Views
how do we break someone's heart and say i dont love you or if there has been a consensual sex and you know you dont love her and yet she start saying the L and the C word and sharing it with everyone in her circle of friends that you are the one? i entertained and she stayed with me for a week, a friend from my past and here is her latest email. i have not told a soul about my true feelings for her nor did i mentioned it to anyone that we had consensual sex. Dear Antonio, I mentioned to you previously that I admire the writing style of Paulo Coelho & have picked up some wisdom from his version of universal truths,,,,,, I would suggest for you to read his "The Alchemist" first, then probably jump to my favorite "Eleven Minutes." There's also the "Warrior of the Light" series that you may get free from the Internet by simply browsing his website,,,,,,,, How are your days treating you without me? I miss you & the simple times that we had together,,,, I was struck at the simplicity of being happy with someone by just watching the movies or by just dining out,,,, During my uninitiated years, I used to be a restless spirit,,, I thought that for one to have a happy relationsship, one should see "sparks flying" or experience "roller-coaster ride feeling." I was wrong. Today i discovered that being with you- having this mature relationship with a mature & responsible man like you, is the embodiment of everything that I was looking for in a relationship. Di pala kailangang laging excited. I think our temperate character (we both have this quality) can be a key to a long-lasting relationship,,,, There is so much virtue in balance & temperance,,,,, Ito ang advantage ng pagkikita natin later in our lives, kaysa sa kung nagkita tayo or nagmahalan 7 years ago,,,, Indeed, God's delays are not God's denials,,,,, Something might have been brewing long before kaya He prepared us even before we became together,,,,, Tonight, I am attending an art exhibit by an artist friend Lilo Gutierrez,,,,, Ang gaganda ng likha! In the future pwede tayong magpa-commission ng artwork sa kanya, nating dalawa,,,, a portraiture of a happy couple,,,,, Lagi kang magi-ingat ha? Love, Suzette
	36 Comments

intrisically rewarding!	Feb 24, 2009 8:10 pm 391 Views
sharing the thoughts i posted on my fraternity egroup. Bro Amel, i dont know where you are heading and what you are talking about. my suggestion for Sis Lea to be featured in an article in the council newsletter came out of the blue, perhaps in admiration that she is unique in her own right as the only sis president of the aa's. if you are trying to insenuate something sinister and demeaning in my purpose, you are out of line brother. did i offer questions that must be asked if Sis Lea is interviewed and be featured in the newsletter? i just suggest that we perhaps feature Bro Ben and Sis Lea in the newsletter - nothing more and nothing less. if my job as a secretary is just to take dictation and not to help and assist Bro Ben in many areas of his responsibilities and functionalities, then somehow others could serve in my behalf - because it seems that task is so easy and could be done by others. and why apply the peter principle on me and ask me to do a job that doesnt suit my strengths? just like you before i was asked to serve as a secretary, i was happy and contented to watch the parade goes by and not be an active participant. i even discourage my kachap Bro Rico not to aspire for any position because i thought in this stage in our lives, its more rewarding specially in terms of health and longevity to be just a bystander - and let others come forward and take the helm of leadership, specially the young generation of leaders. but dont get me wrong, i can take batikos and that is not stressful for me. but the option is much clearer if you dont have other responsibilities, then at our age we can dedicate ourselves to a pursuit more profoundly and intrisically rewarding. i thought the right pursuit and endeavor for me at this stage of my life is to spend time with my kids and grandkids. because i thought i could serve and i am needed, i decided to sacrifice the time and the money that could have been spent with my kids and grandkids. before my term as a secretary ends if i decide to stay, in financial terms it will cost me no less than $5000.00 (including boracay) and in extensive travel that could have been geared to seeing my kids and grandkids. you see the secretary's job is not truly define in the cbl, others said that i am little president. if that is so, i then speak for the president and serve at his pleasure. but should i always wait for Bro Ben to tell what to do or could i have at least some initiative to work and speak in his behalf. i do not seek the limelight, but i want to contribute to the success of Bro Ben's tenure. but in the process i thought i will be perceived as grandstanding. and to preclude such perception, i will offer to resign. ooops i could not offer my resignation because i have not been confirmed by the Board and therefore i instead withdrawing to be considered as ACNA's secretary. i posted it before in the apophilnet that i was too ambivalent about the job of the secretary because i thought its never define. if its define only to take the dictation then i am not the person who would willingly serve in that capacity. yours would not be the last time that someone would subscribe to the idea that i am acting way too much beyond the scope of my responsibility, and therefore i am withdrawing being considered for ACNA's secretary. but i will be seeing you sa chicago dahil my ticket na ako. Bro Ben's tenure should not be distracted by the presumptions or perceptions that i am a bully and i dictates the stuffs beyond my domain. he deserves better and therefore i am withdrawing being considered as ACNA's secretary. sorry if in the last few weeks i acted as i am secretary na. Bro Ben, for the above reasons enumerated above, i withdraw my consideration to be the secretary of ACNA. thanks for the opportunity to work with you and under you the last few weeks. good luck to all your presidential endeavors, Bro Ben. i am sharing this posting to the apophilnet to have other knew that i have withdrew to be the secretary of ACNA. please for the moderators of ACNET, ACNABOARD and ACNAEXEC, please remove my subscription. thanks. Bro Tony
	0 Comments

just happiness?	Feb 22, 2009 2:37 pm 396 Views
quote barleycream: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOVE? We need love to survive and enjoy life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hmm i have been surviving and enjoying life without the love of a special someone. its just hard to fall in love. sometimes you are better off without that love. i just have a hard time falling in love. sometimes i equate love with responsibilities. what if i love her and addition to loving her i would have to be responsible for the welfare of her family. could i just take care of her and nevermind the others in her family? i would love to love someone without the added burden of being responsible for her entire family. quote mild_blizzard: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's not your responsibility to look after the whole clan, bro. Lucky us to find a woman who will love us for who we are and not for what we have. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- that's the key word bro, "lucky." but we can not separate a pinay from her clan. perhaps a few, but its hard to find them. at my age, i prefer more of a love without much of a burden. little burden is okay, but how could we control that burden? if you love her, we must love everyone in her clan. but is she really loving us back honestly, or its because we are the clan's atm? quote younglooking55: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- that's the key word bro, "lucky." but we can not separate a pinay from her clan. perhaps a few, but its hard to find them. at my age, i prefer more of a love without much of a burden. little burden is okay, but how could we control that burden? if you love her, we must love everyone in her clan. but is she really loving us back honestly, or its because we are the clan's atm? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It I were in your shoes, I'd be hesitant also to trust lalo na sa net. You're right, marami talagang "oportunista." My cousin's friend na nagtatrabaho bilang DH tinakbuhan ng bf matapos nitong mai-withdraw ang kanilang joint account. Mas malaki ang deposited money noong babae. Nakakaawa nga. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote beauty_charm: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I admit, maraming girls ang gold digger lalo na pag nasa America, England, Canada, Italy, Japan ang kanilang mga bf. Tingin nila sa mga lalaki "kaha de yero" na lahat puwedeng ibigay sa kanila totally. But for me, I just accept what they can give as a token of appreciation for my time. Bihira akong mag-request, pag kami na talaga. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- but sometimes kasi indirect ang request or di naman nagrerequest, but when they look sad and you ask the question why? the answer could be si lola nasa ospital, si kuya gustong pumunta sa saudi, yong sunod sa akin baka mahinto sa pag-aaral, si tatay nawalan ng trabaho at etc, etc. what would you think my reaction and the right thing i will do. i have been there several times and i was gullible. i'd helped but i likewise ended the relationship to cut my losses. i may have spend 100,000 pesos already without having kiss her, but i may spend more than if the relationship continues. but its not about the money, its about being not burden by the responsibilities at my age. sana kung bata pa ako okay lang. but i want a good relationship at my age with a minimal burden of responsibilities. masama bang maghangad nang ganon? masama bang maghanap ng kaligayahan lang?
	2 Comments

equally important!	Feb 21, 2009 6:15 pm 428 Views
"If you're not a parent yet, you can reply based on your being a son or a daughter. Who do you think is more important, the role of a mom or the responsibility of a father?" mild_blizzard "bro both are equality important but not in the same degree. i know i am a good father, a loving dad and a great provider. but i am an absentee father for most of the growing up years of my kids and even now as i write. my kids are in texas and i am here in san francisco. hmm this is a great topic, i will elaborate more in my blog since its been weeks since i wrote my last blog. check it out na lang sa blog ko bro." sorry, i have to deviate from what perspectives i should share. i rather share from the point of view of a father instead of a son. and i can not share the point of view of a mother nor will i attempt to share one. only real mothers can do that and i am not. but all i know is that mothers are equally important in providing guidance and in nurturing their sons and daughters and ensuring they grow up responsible and at least achieving a decent future. i said both are equality important, but the sad reality is - there are lots of kids now growing up not knowing who their father are or not experiencing having a father. perhaps both parties now are promiscous and lack the sensibility of being responsible parent. that's why? enjoy lang sa sex at bahala na. my kids are lucky because i have them well provided and not a moment in their lives that they are lacking in the basic material things such as food, shelter, health care and other amenities of life that i can afford to provide. but their lives could have much better if i have been around to share them my love. but by comparison they are better off than most whose father were irresponsible in most respect. i was an absentee father not by choice, but by profession. i was in the military for 26 years. and i know that during those days that i was away, not in a moment i abandon my kids and did not provide for the things that i am and should be responsible for. if nothing else on my demise, my kids will remember me as a good father and a good provider. regardless how are our relationship ended with our spouses, the truth is we can not take singular credit for the successes of our kids. we must recognize and pay tribute to the sacrifices of our spouses or ex-spouses. my ex was there during my absences providing the things that are needed most in the proper upbringing of my kids. i am thankful to her. for those single mom, you are blessed in many ways. there is no enduring and fulfilling relationship in life than being a mom or a dad. we are forever a father or mother, but we can not forever be a spouse or a lover. never we should take our kids for granted. they are forever our source of our strength and lingering happiness.
	6 Comments

part of the reasons!	Feb 1, 2009 8:18 am 395 Views
i could not remember that i ever whined, for the most part of my early life, even in my moments of deprivation, i was still very much appreciative of even the little things i had. perhaps not whining is part of the reasons that i have been blessed throughout my life. perhaps i did whine, but not purposely but unknowingly. or maybe i was just talking to myself then and not actually whining, and then in the process, i understood and accepted that my life no matter how deprived i was and miserable as compared to others was still a picnic - because i dont have their unsourmountable problems or not living the way they are in poverty, in misery and sometimes under a situation that should not be humanly comprehensible such as in wars or global catastrophy. awareness and knowing that others live in misery to abject deprivation worst than we are, is perhaps the key in not purposely whining. but as imperfect as we are, we still lack that capacity not to long for things we perhaps will never have or permanently had. now in restrospect of the several stages of my life, i had experienced and enjoy a lot of life's bounty, material things and wonderful amenities of life including sexual conquest without lifting a finger. and yet i still do long and yearn for something more profound - relationship that is enduring and nurtured through the ups and downs. but dont' we all! but regardless of the momentarily yearning every now and then, i still have no reason to whine. its been a great life and thanks to my Almighty!
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we must do the same thing!	Jan 28, 2009 9:12 pm 372 Views
i thought i share this with you because my thoughts here may be applicable to any organizational improvement that you maybe involved in. its my reply to the posting on my fraternity yahooegroup. i left the other relevant data which was the reason i posted my thought below. My dear Brods and Sis, whatever glitches or shortcomings we did during the inauguration is now water under the bridge. as imperfect as we are, its understandable that we tried to do our best but yet it was not good enough. the problem with us is we always reinvent the wheel. there is no scheme, blueprint or SOP that guide us in our endeavor similar to the inauguration. in our lifetime, how many inauguration, induction or acna convention we would have? there would be plenty and yet perhaps everytime we do such events, we have to start from scratch and put it together. i am not interested about the $500 shortfall nor am i interested in personal differences. what i am interested is to see a written report or analysis of what one did to contribute to the success of the inauguration and then the post mortem analysis of what went wrong. leadership also has responsibilities and one of those to make sure the continuity of our endeavors. most often than not, we see the same brod or sis in charge of putting together an event and thereby depriving us of the pool of talents that are required to make sure that when things are going wrong (like demise of a brother), there is that someone or many that can provide the corporate knowledge to continue the endeavor. we need to train others and provide them the opportunity to be in charge with the devoted guidance of those who did it before him i am proud of my service in the navy. its the best organization i was fortunate to be associated with. before we go to a deployment or to a harm's way, we honed are war fighting skills for months and anticipated all the things that may go wrong. its standard throughout the navy and everyone is expected to do everything the same way through standing operating procedures. but what is different is that in every turn-over of area of responsibilities, a report or lessons learned is provided - thereby its a continuous improvement process. we must do the same thing in our fraternity. there must be an standing operating procedures that are improved through every events and through the years. to those who are in charge of a certain area of the inauguration success, i would be more please if such report is provided and incorporated as one of the files of acna which i will maintain and turn over to the next secretary. its not good enough that we became successful in our endeavor and then the process how we did it is forgotten and then we reinvented the process from scratch again. its not enough that we became successful in our tenure as president of alumni group or as chairman of an undertaking if we can not provide a written reports on how we become successful in our tenure and how we overcame the obstacles and the challenges before us. those are legacy that are most welcome by our posterity or those who will lead after us. bro tony
	0 Comments

why do you cry?	Jan 24, 2009 9:04 am 490 Views
"does a man feel good when he makes a woman cry? if not, then why does he do what he does even if he knows that what he does will result in tears & heartbreak?" pink thighs yes and no, depending on who he is. but for the most part, men does not intentionally makes a woman cry and we do feel bad when we see a woman crying. and how do we make you cry? its because we fade away and gradually end the relationship or we tell you upfront that its over. because by nature women are deeply emotional, we are in a loss-loss situation because we are not sure about the reasons and the validity of your crying. why do you cry? and why do you cry even for the smallest shortcomings or infractions? we are imperfect as everyone else and for the most part we act and think objectively and we can sometimes detached ourselves from the enormity of emotional quandary. if we always act on the premise that we should not let you cry, then we are hostage to your cryings and emotions and we will never let go of ourselves even when the relationship is already toxic and we have no longer feelings for you. would that be fair? would you rather have us stay in a toxic and cold relationship because we dont want to see you cry? who would want that? it cut both ways, you leave us too even in our most endearing moments and great expectations. some of us cry, some of us get drunk, some of us blame ourselves and agonize forever for a love that we thought have gotten away for whatever reasons. so why do you get us drunk? i am in a quandary lately and have fade away and i am sure i have made her cry many times (if her feelings is for real). but i have my reasons to fade away (see my blog putting it on hold)primarily that i am not capable of being in a relationship lovingly and responsibly for now. would you still want me in my period of quandary? i have too much in my plate lately and by prioritizing the things that matter most to be, i rather detached myself from emotional uncertainty for now.
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213

Visitor	Age	Sex	Date
frozenflower3	50	F	11/22
jollypawn	31	F	11/22
AmD14U	51	F	11/21
luv_a_fair	40	F	11/21
winky327	54	F	11/21
Sulei	51	M	11/21
Victorias2007	33	F	11/21
im_stacy	98	F	11/21
cherrry_	41	M	11/21
m2ec4u	64	F	11/20

Post	Poster	Post Date
sophisticatedly deceitful!	luv_a_fair	Nov 21 7:42 pm
good bye!	shy_texter	Nov 12 3:53 am
animosity is still pervasive!	kindayana	Nov 11 6:03 pm
too capricious!	eb1209	Nov 7 5:57 pm
how long the feeling would last!	frozenflower3	Nov 5 3:17 am
i love my platonic friend!	eb1209	Nov 3 3:12 am
10 reasons why i want U to dislike me!	pamela1962	Oct 31 6:00 am
i am happy for her the way she is!	icu4u2	Oct 30 11:45 pm
the real score why its hard to find love at a certain age!	pamela1962	Oct 30 12:30 am
few things i would settle for and then love you!	pauleen80	Oct 26 9:05 pm
i am prostituting myself (this u can read) !	poweroflove3	Oct 23 10:14 pm

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