|
|
|
|
|
indeed! sometimes in the midst of trying to define someone we erred on making false assumptions by just the virtue of reading what they posted or in manner their share their engaging thoughts in the chatroom.
do we have the right to make assumptions of others without having thoroughly knowing who they are? at what point do we know someone anyway? would it be enough that by conversing with someone on the chatroom - viola! we certainly know how they are or who they are and what they are.
its hard to validate assumptions specially giving in a timeframe that is to irrational and only based on gut feelings. perhaps was given at a point when somehow unknowingly you have offended someone, bruised their ego or unintentionally invaded their space or at a point wherein you are not in the best of mood. regardless there is nothing wrong with providing assumption and yet there is also nothing wrong in refuting the fallacy of assumption. would i refute assumption? i would not. the burden of truly knowing me is on them. they must on the course of their lives must know me extensively if they want me to be a part of their lives.
be as it may, some of us becomes victim of a false assumption and suddenly most become convinced because of that false assumption that you are indeed such and such without them actually knowing you in an extended period of time.
they said that i have a high regard of myself and that nakarating lang ako sa america ay kung sino na ako. everyone must have a high regard of themselves. by mostly having that, its the foundation of having a healthy life and then acquiring an excellent perspective of life. but to assume that someone only having a high regard of themselves because of where they are or have been or dahil nakarating sa america is making a mockery of one's insecurity.
none of us has the purity of values and therefore assumptions are sometimes false and never right specially given at a point that one never was closed to you or have been intimate with us.
i was not offended by the assumptions accorded on my behalf, after all eveyone has the right to make assumptions and even share it with many. but to others it could be dismaying experience to the point that to them it becomes a nightmare because they have been ill defined by virtue of that assumptions. but no one could ever define us except ourselves. and if you have a high regard of yourself, then nothing matters including false assumption.
|
|
|
not by purpose!
|
Jun 7, 2009 10:15 am
698 Views
|
i thought that my blog yesterday,"not in the context to annoy you," is a blockbuster and a signature blog - not by purpose or by design, but a sort of revelation of my capacity to be different in that blog which shown a unique and yet a realistic dimension of my other persona; the person of being indifferent to my blogs!
we could all be indifferent i guess, not necessarily by purpose or design; but by mere happenstance. that we too, the conceited man - obnoxious, overbearing, and arrogant in many respects may in one shining moment find our bearing and truly mesmerize others by our capacity to be humble, likable, down to earth, truly fallible and then forgiving. i thought i did in my own conceited and abhorrent way!
i really thought i did! but the truth is i have been living a humbled life, humbled by experiencing the early rigors of deprived life which is more than a thousand times deprived from the type of life i am enjoying now - ala carte with full amenities that my money can afford to buy or have!
heck at early age, it was a sustained struggle to earn a living, that i have to work in the farm plowing the fields, tending the carabaos, selling komiks and shining shoes and then later on as a waiter/bartender at the italian village restaurant in makati along edsa.
then by struck of luck, in january 1975 i have to say goodbye from the rigors of deprived life to the rigors of a good and yet disciplined military life that lasted 26 years.
and yet military life is also a humbling experience. its were i honed to become a diplomat and many other roles. my blog yesterday, "not in the context to annoy" is somehow brought about and a tribute to the many admirable qualities of a military man!
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
not in the context to annoy you!
|
Jun 6, 2009 5:14 pm
875 Views
|
am i threatening you? no i am not. i never would and not in a million years. i have never done such a thing to my kids, to my friends and to my peers or anyone i'd been involved with. so why would i transform myself now to such a despicable behavior. i know myself and no one else and its not going to happen. so you may as well brace yourself and just let it go - that thought or the idea that i am capable of threatening someone and you specially!
i just could not understand why you continue to characterize me, when i have never characterized you as a person. i may have offended you through my blogs, but i never personally demean you. if somehow you felt that way, i am telling you now that it was not intended that way, and if sorry or apology will cut it for you, then i apologize.
or its perhaps because of our culture that when we feel anathema to someone, it lingers forever and we would never see that person in another or different light. they are forever in our eggy box even when we have not truly known that person. it is perhaps i preamble my blog "the fallacy of assumption" is because of how we are - so easily being judgmental and characterizing others without us truly experiencing up close and personal the true breadth of character and idiosyncrasies of that person.
we are truly fallible, i must admit it and that includes me no matter how i try to live my life with core values of honor, compassion, generosity, respect for others, inclusiveness, free-spirited, integrity and love for life! i would still going to hurt someone unknowingly as i think i hurt you!
there is only one blog that i dedicated to you entitled, "too abhorrent for you," which was merely a reaction to the things you said or i read in your commentaries in other blogs or in your blogs! but still that blog was lacking in personal characterization or demeaning you or disrespecting you. it was all done or written in the context of offering a different point of view. nothing more and nothing less!
blogs are supposed to be engaging and offering a different point of view or perspective on how life is live or how we see the many amalgam strokes in a canvass. it should never meant to characterized anyone personally. if some do, it should not bother us, but for the ladies - they are supposed to be above that. or maybe not for a few because things have changed or metamorphosed from the days of maria clara to now.
i know you are a classy lady, but nevertheless it's diminished by your sarcasm. you should give it up and then loosen up. it may just add minuscule stress in your life, nevertheless it is still stress. please don't waste a stress on such a thing because its not really worthed. there is nothing to gain except that you will always unfavorably react whenever you read my blogs and when i made commentaries to other blogs. and therefore i won and not you if there is such a contest of wits. for all you know i may be just laughing as a reaction to your sarcasm. which i do i must admit.
but this blog is written not in the context to annoy you. its an attempt to offer an explanation that if somehow i have wronged you, i deeply apologize.
blogs are in actuality should be a true representation of what a person is( i stand for my blogs). its his or her thoughts or the way he or she is. but nevertheless blogs is not his or her own totality as person up close and personal. if we let ourselves discover him or her through direct association or activities, we maybe surprise that it would be a humbling experience for us to know that we have been guilty of the fallacy of assumption - that somehow he or she is totally endearing, likable, amiable and down to earth as a person. i believe i have been endeared to those who attended the eb in vegas because they have experienced up close and personal the blogger in person. the vegas was an experience to cherish forever! wow!
the fallacy of assumption applies to everyone and i have never assumed who you are or anyone are. its just that the continuous sarcasm will hurt anyone in the long run. it could only mean many things, including that we have no sense of compromise and we are blatantly unforgiving.
but so be it. we have our own individuality and i respect you. go ahead and continue to blast me with your sarcasm. and perhaps the best i should do now is partially ignore you and let you be the way you want to be. no harm done and no loss taken. we have never been friends anyway! then why bother? we can't win them all!
this blogs sounds patronizing, but its an attempt to clear the mud and then offer my apology for those who dislikes my blogs!
|
|
|
26
Comments
|
|
|
blogging is on hold!
|
Jun 5, 2009 8:47 pm
558 Views
|
i can't blog. it used to be as easy as counting 1,2,3 and the words will come and not a moment to pause when a sentence is written and then a paragraph completed.
but not this time. i just could not do it, right now at this moment. was it because i am still in cloud 9 and still reminiscing the magical moments i had in vegas with fellow bloggers and members of the group FEEL? there is no doubt i am still reminiscing. no! its more of a yearning and longing!
if you read ELZ thread about the EB in Vegas and then view the video that i had not seen, perhaps you would feel the yearning as i feel now - those happy and magical moments in vegas! WOW!
for now the blogging is on hold!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
key word women defines a man!
|
Jun 3, 2009 8:31 pm
582 Views
|
For me, a GOOD and a RESPECTABLE man can be seen in his CHARACTER and PERSONALITY. If he was a very LOVING, POLITE, and RESPECTFUL son to his parents and to his siblings, and for all the women that he was interacting with everyday of his life.. HE IS THE MAN MY DEAR. For me, it is not the man's career or good looks that makes him attractive. But it's his "PERSONALITY and CHARACTER", and of course the CHEMISTRY that you share with each other. And if you happens to meet this kind of a guy, GRAB him my dear women friends..HE IS JUST ONE OF A KIND NOWADAYS!!!He will LOVE YOU FOREVER.. And he was a GOOD CATCH to be brought home for your parents or the whole family and relatives to see and meet.GOOD LUCK TO ALL.. AND HAPPY CATCHING!!!" cluelessSunshine
how would you truly know that he is loving, polite and respectful? what if he is good in putting a facade? what if he is a con artist who is very skillful in showing to you that he is loving and polite to his parents, siblings and in interacting with women everyday of his life, yet deep inside he has an almost a hidden ostracized and pervert personality? what then? would he still be a good catch?
good catch it seems is the key word by which women define the quality of a man that they wanted to have a relationship with. what if the good catch is just a temporary qualities of a man and then suddenly he turned out to be different? what then?
and how many men by definition are a good catch? what if there are only few of them, what then are the options of the rest of the women in finding a relationship? would settling for less than a good catch is good enough?
the world is replete of examples of the fallacy of catching a good man based on personality and character. kennedy, edwards, clinton and many known men thought to be of good character and personality were proven to be unfaithful and philanderer.
i believe that all men are capable of being decent, loving, caring, loyal and devoted to the right woman - regardless by definition of being a good catch. i believe that there are men who have proven themselves to be a good catch inspite of initially being doubted to be such.
i believe someday one will say, thanks for coming into my life, you are more than a great catch! WOW!
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
prisoners of your thoughts!
|
May 27, 2009 6:05 pm
571 Views
|
to contemplate means that you are a prisoners of your thoughts, that you are not free-spirited and you do not decide on the spur of the moment. you weights the options, you forecast about the consequences, you balance the odds, you tally the ups and downs, you rationalize your actions, you figure out the pros and cons, you look through and towards the horizon, you consider and worry about the future; and etc, etc and etc.
some are always in the process of unending contemplation - everything about their lives, career,relationship, amassing wealth, pursuit of indulgence, agony of living a life unfulfilled, dealing with daily struggles, and on and on and on.
i believe i am beyond that (contemplation). perhaps i have the great capacity to be accepting, to be satisfied, to be worry less and to be settled. i believe i am at that stage that what matter most is to live a life that is truly thankful of the blessings i had or will have. if during the course of my retirement (yeah its forthcoming) i become blessed to have a wonderful relationship, that would be nothing but just an icing on the cake. however i would never contemplate to bring myself into a pursuit of such a situation - if it happens, then fine! and then i am thankful.
looking back, i thought i was a guy that does not contemplate, and if i do, perhaps unknowingly. take for example:
when i got married, i didn't contemplate. i married her in 7 meetings. i met her at south harbor (by the luneta) aboard my ship. we went out and we had a blast. i receive a letter from her while in hongkong, then we met again 7 times from august 77 to january 78 whenever my ship brought me back to the philippines.
all of those moments we met we had a great time. then i married her at the mandaluyong city hall on january 19, 1978. we fake her age to show that she was 23 instead of 21, i gave then the presiding officer goods from subic like candy's, cigarettes. liquor and other stuffs so he could willingly officiate the mariage. then without much contemplation or planning we headed to baguio and stayed for a week at the camp john hay where my eldest was conceived.
in january 2001 right after i retired from the navy and without contemplation i sold my house in florida and embarked on one year journey of wanton abandon and come what may, until i finally found myself penniless and heavily in debt that forced me to find work and work again. but heck it was the best year of my life doing nothing except having a great time including having dated so many.  it was then the best hurrah of my life without contemplation - free spirited, unmindful and yet indulgent.
or the few days before i start my jobs, yeah jobs because i was offered several jobs and accepted those jobs. jobs that will take me either to cleveland OH, philadelpia PA, washington DC, chicago, IL and san franciso, ca. all those jobs were good jobs, but its only on the day of my travel from texas that i decided without much contemplation to accept that job in california. all those jobs i was offered and i accepted even if i was only given a phone interview.
how about the last time i visited the philippines? without much contemplation i signed on the dotted line as a proud owner of a condo with a substantial down payment. and yet without contemplation i did easily give up that condo without regards to the money i invested or lost. i just gave it away. perhaps i just don't want to be tied down of knowing i have a place to settle down in the philippines. perhaps i am not the settling type of a guy, that's why?
i am not much of a contemplating guy about money. i earned and then spend it. but i don't know for some reasons at this point in my life after being penniless a few years back, i have a substantial savings in my 401k. but i don't own a house or a condo. i will not contemplate of owning one, it may tie me down.
yes i am not capable of contemplation and yet and so far i am happy with my life and how it been lived. i guess its a matter of perspective. i don't regret and i don't wallow in any shape or form of pain, despair or setbacks. i am always positive in my approaches in life!
by the way this is dedicated to jensen as a reaction to her latest blog about contemplating either to stay put her in america or to consider other options.
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
tango! on my buckit list!
|
May 25, 2009 6:04 pm
575 Views
|
i thought it was just a spurt and then i will stop blogging for awhile. 8 blogs in 18 days i thought was not a saturation, its just about right. besides while i still have the time to blog, so i may as well go for it and continue to blog or to dance.
yes spurts to blog could be compared to someone desire to dance or any activities that give us some sort of worth, fulfillment or just to validate the feeling of being alive and connected.
hmm fulfillment, feeling alive and connected in blogging? with who and how could that be possible? maybe it is - that blogging is a connection with others or perhaps just a connection to oneself. sort of talking to oneself or just whiling away the time while and when there is no other things to do for the moment.
yes i did embarked on the spurts of dancing in my younger days. it seemed then when i had the opportunities, i was always part of the scene and the action in the spurts of dancing. but not now. its been far and between. i guess as we get older, we don't even have to say goodbye to the things we indulged during our younger days. its a normal phenomena of aging - its just not there anymore.
but my spurts then was mostly the dance of the wild and the dance of the tame. i called disco as dance of the wild. one just have to do it without expected rhythm and steps to be followed. you just shake your body and that's it! yeah shake your body and your booty, everyone can do it! even the carabaos knows how to shake their body. the dance of the tame? hmm i will leave it to your imagination. but i love the dance of the tame more than anything else other than tango.
i cant until now dance the cha-cha and anything about ballroom dancing. but i have the desire to learn specially the dance of seduction (tango). there is an alluring mystic in the dance of seduction.
i can do the lambada but not the tango. i thought tango is up there at the top as truly the true form of the THE DANCE of seduction. i don't have to elaborate why. all i know is i am mesmerize by the dance and wishing that i could dance it too. its a dance where a man could say, i love it and felt good!
hmm the sensuality of the dance of seduction? when could i be able to do and experience such a thing? hmmmm its on my bucket list for now!
so what in your bucket list?
|
|
|
10
Comments
|
|
|
i relied on your thoughts!
|
May 24, 2009 8:37 pm
482 Views
|
sporadic or spurt? this is my 7th blogs in the span of 17 days. there was a time i thought that i didn't blog for a span of weeks or months. it was months before i blog again after my blog entitled "my final blog." i thought at that time i was certain i wont be blogging again.
yet i found myself eating my own words about the finality of my blog because i blog again. there is no finality i guess for the things we do, unless of course its our final voyage six feet under. now i will always remind myself that nothing is final until its over or until "the fat lady sings" so to speak.
i think it was a spurt and not sporadic that i blog 7 times in a span of 17 days. mostly my blog was a consequential reactions to other blogs. i guess sometimes that's how i ended up or started out blogging, relying on the thoughts of others and then expounding it. i guess i am a pseudo blogger with no original thoughts of my own - always waiting for someone to awaken my consciousness and challenge my desire to blog by virtue of what they wrote. sorry that i relied on your thoughts!
but i also thought that there were originality on some of my blogs, specially those blogs that invited abhorrent reactions from others because i was callous, arrogant and conceited. i wonder if i should apologize for those blogs? or must i?
if i don't, would i be forever on their listing of "deep shit" or "eggy shit" never to be accorded of the splendor and admiration of being a good, decent and acceptable guy? would it matter if i do or dont? or its immaterial because the dye was cast and no amount of apology would change anything? what do you think?
i am in quandary. i know i didn't meant to be offensive and i was just being me and i was just being like everyone else stating and sharing my point of view. my apology wont mean anything. so the right thing or course to do i think is to let it go and just restrain myself in saying something about it again.
but i apologize for being makulit (persevering and steadfast in the wrong way).
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
am i done?
|
May 24, 2009 12:35 am
513 Views
|
am i done? no it has nothing to do about by barrages enunciated on my last two blogs about reinforcing my thoughts on the preamble of my blog, "the fallacy of assumption." and that its unfounded and uncalled for to brand anyone by any means.
its more of the question whether i am done of doing something for my birth country? whether i like or not, i am a filipino forever by heart - but no longer and necessarily by cultural affinity and deeds. how could i be when i left the philippines jan 10,1975 with only few visits here and there. i had lived a life of non pinoys since 1975. i think this is where my critics here in bloglandia is missing the point. they are probably expecting me to be more passive because it is culturally correct and expected. but i am no longer a pinoy by thoughts and even by deeds. i am a product now of various experiences and exposures to many cultures of the world - and mostly by my American journey and experience.
i believe i am done in political engagements that concern the philippines. since i left the philippines i had totally disengaged from politics and had focused instead, first on my military career with a razor mind and determination; and now on living a life of pursuit of happiness and devoiding myself of the travails and absurdities of life.
i had avoided the gauntlet of martial law through the intercession of my father. yeah my father, we had a deeper disagreements during my formative years. he was a politician and i was then of the radical mind wanting to change the course of history in the philippines by all means necessary including force. as a kabataan makabayan (youth radical group influenced and dictated by the teachings of communist mao tse tung), i led the rally in my province against the government wrongdoings and all the ills affecting the country then culminating in my burning of the effigy of marcos and the provincial commander of the military police in my province.
during my younger days when i was consumed by my youthful idealism i saw myself serving my province as the youngest governor of my time providing and delivering good governance.
i was in the first stage of my pursuit to be a good leader for my province through first honing myself in student politics. yes i was the president of my senior class and i served too in the student council twice in college - until abruptly it was ended by the stroke of marcos' pen declaring martial law.
but in retrospect i still dont have any regrets how my life had unraveled since becoming pragmatic and giving up the hope for a better philippines - instead i took the hard and the disciplined sanctuary of military life serving the united states navy that lasted for 26 years. in all honesty, i believe just like others i will be sucked in by the rotten governance system in the philippines no matter how strong my desire to be a leader of the right kind with honor,values, dignity and integrity.
look just like many heroes we have, ninoy gave his life and yet the philippines is still in the quagmire of corruptions and many ills including pervasive abject poverty for most.
there is no hope for the philippines for now. and for practical pinays, sometimes marrying a foreigner is the answer to their wanting to have a much better life - and there is nothing wrong with that as there was nothing wrong with me when i abandoned my youthful idealism to serve in the us navy and embrace the american way of life.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
willing to mutilate him?
|
May 22, 2009 10:45 pm
472 Views
|
do we have to be likable? or do we have to be the person we are without pretensions, manipulations and/or deceits?
in what sense do we make our judgment that one is likable? its because he is in conformity with our thoughts, values and approaches and perspectives in life?
i don't know. it boggles the mind or maybe it just me that somehow i don't understand that others would willingly resort to show of animosity and blatant disregard in respecting individuality.
would it be because we are protective of our culture that when we see others or read their blogs that sort of provocative and out of the mainstay or not politically correct, we become aghast and willing to mutilate him through our unfounded characterization such as being conceited,arrogant, ill mannered and etc.
maybe to be dislike is a virtue by itself or intentionally done. it serves as a filtering process that would make it easier for someone to know who has the tolerance for understanding, who could embrace diversity and differences, who have the capacity not to be judgmental and most of all has that endearing quality of being elegant and yet simplistic in the way they live their lives.
some say whatever qualities we have or thought we have, we should keep it to ourselves and have others speak for us - because by doing so (speaking for oureselves), it connotes that somehow there is something wrong with us and that we are just flaunting our wares. tell me who is not flaunting his or her wares here? otherwise how would you be liked and disliked?
what are the reasons we joined fff or even for blogging? most of us would perhaps recites a thousand reasons. but the fundamental reason i think for most is to sell ourselves to the one we thought would be deserving the COMPLETE US without manipulation, deceits or fear that we are not likable?
what is wrong with saying that i came from a humble beginnings and over the years i have gained the wisdom of experienced and i have the promise of a great retirement future because i have 3 pensions to rely on? i thought that would be a welcome attributes to someone that seek stability and to experience amelioration in life in addition to yet to be discovered strengths, flaws and weaknesses.
reserve, aggressive, dormant, domesticated, whatever it is and whoever you are - GO AHEAD and flaunt yourself and let someone grab you for what you are worth to him without fearful of being characterized in most demeaning demeanor.
|
|
|
11
Comments
|
|
|
escapades of my life!
|
May 20, 2009 8:27 pm
446 Views
|
how could it be and it could not be an anomaly? but certainly it is proven. the number of recorded views on most of my threads don't lie. but its not possible if we based it on the number of bloggers we have and the number of chatters we have? however few of my threads have a recorded views of more than 500 and most i think average around 200 to 300 views or hits. how would we explain that? it could be mind boggling i think.
have you visited my thread perhaps on more than one occasions? and why is that? is that because i am conceited as others thought i am or i have lived a colorful life that others find my threads intriguing, sometimes amusing or profoundly meaningful or it is because i somehow willingly and truthfully shared the escapades of my life and the wisdom of my experienced.
however it is and no matter what you intentions were in visiting my blogs/threads, and however many times - my heartfelt thanks.
here are some examples of my blogs/thread and the number that it been viewed:
"my final blog" 597 views
"lack of exclusivity" 562 views
"tell me if you like me" 436 views
"breaking someone's heart" 436 views
"settle for imperfections" 414 views
"a gift from heaven" 397 views
"not the first time she ask me out" 394 views
"everyone deserves one" 391 views
"i put myself in quandary" 381 views
"been carrying the burden" 375 views
|
|
|
9
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (younglooking55) use [blog younglooking55] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
21
|
3
|
41
|
5
|
61
|
7
|
|
82
|
91
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
213
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
