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whats wrong with you?
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Oct 29, 2009 5:25 pm
105 Views
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he lied to you again and again
and yet you believe anything he tells you.
you hope that he’s telling you the truth this time
and you take everything he says to you at face value,
even if you know intuitively that he might be making a fool out of you.
you’re afraid of confronting him about the truth
because you’re afraid he will leave you if you don’t collude with his lies.
you’re afraid that knowing the truth
will make it too unbearable for you to stay with him.
you let him smooth things over with you
so you can both pretend everything is okay...
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3
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Dress to Impress
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Oct 29, 2009 1:09 am
Mood: bitchy,
68 Views
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Sorry, that should be 'dress him'.
He might be 30 but he still expects you to
tie his shoe-laces,
knot his tie
and brush his hair!
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0
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Why Being Single is Good
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Oct 28, 2009 10:35 pm
Mood: bitchy,
110 Views
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1. You never have to sleep on the soggy patch..unless you wet the bed.
2. You don’t have to put your loo-seat back down everytime you visit the bathroom.
3. Or sponge wee off the carpet…
4. Or the wall for the matter.
5. You may save money on leg and bikini waxing.
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4
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FOR HER AND HIM
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Oct 28, 2009 10:51 am
Mood: flirtatious,
117 Views
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Always be quick to get the measure of your man..if he's anything less than 6 inches, don't bother.
If a revolting man insists on giving you his phone number, tell him you'll type it directly into your phone, and then take ages scrolling through the names already in it. When he asks why it is taking so long, explain that the names aren't in alphabetical order, they're in order of sex appeal and you need to scroll right the bottom before inserting his details.
Some men feel threatened by a woman, but it can be expensive to enroll on a course of self-defense for women. Instead, just photograph him in a compromising way and threaten to send it to his wife. That way you'll actually make a profit.
Learn some of ways in which you can make a man gaze in awe at you. For instance, why not learn to read maps?
Gauge a man's character by asking him some searching questions on a first date, such as, 'would you mind removing your hand from my bra?'
For women, be sure you have at least the IQ of a monkey. You never know when you might have outsmart a man.
If you want to scare a man off, talk about your long-term plans with him..like a second date! You could say 'It's our first date, but looking ahead, would you prefer a spring or summer wedding?'
Always carry an extra large condom with you. If a man tries to chat you up you can then show it to him and say, 'Sorry, I don't think you're my size.'
Be sure to use a good form of contraceptive..like his personality for instance. Say, 'Sorry, I can't sleep with you. You're a moron.'
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4
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