ALLUSION TO AMBIGUITY
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Posted:Jan 14, 2013 7:33 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 5:51 am 15079 Views
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A bouquet of white with a lace of green
simple flowers from the garden of dream
one day given by the heart of gold
in the meadows of blooms, sunshine hold.
Something caught the eye, flaming crimson
in a far corner, gather in unison
beautiful roses in the haze of the sun
swept in earnest, loosen the snowy bun.
Fell on the earth as the stride glide along
on to wander and whistling a song
but tiny pricks bit, the beauty with thorns
throw it away, in drastic scorn.
A sparkling amber of hues glowed near
repelled forgotten, took a step clear
pick one by one, gathering wool
of bright and dainty tulips in full.
Just as good when in a state of clench
when totally open, the regalia blanch
How come a thing perished in candor?
and gone with it the sweet wonder.
On to yonder spellbound by gossamer light
reflecting that of heaven's lavender sight
the tiniest flowers of so much delight
stand mightiest on the stem spright.
Pretty as they are, charming as they come
but as delicate as the glass wind chimes
the petals withered with the blazing gust
the color changed from mud to rust.
Getting weary, retraced the same path back
to find the white lilies I let loose in luck
after all the searching, picking and trying
I found the best in the purity of the thing.
Just as i saw it as I round a tree
cant help but cry in misery
for it shine lovingly
In someone else's hands.. tenderly..
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FOR AULD LANG SYNE
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Posted:Dec 29, 2012 8:22 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:15 pm 16605 Views
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One night to sleep and then we'll say bye bye to the year that was. A good year for some, contrary to others who have some share of bad luck. For me - can't complain  , I have my share of good and bad things, still in the balance. What's in this days before the year ends, that we find ourselves contemplating more of what had become of us for the past year. Suddenly, memories came rushing in like a river free flowing. Remembering the places you went to, people you met along the way, minor/major problems testing your capacity to endure, the economics scale of gains and losses, and in the street parlance 'Anyareh??"..
Whatever eventuated, we will still find ourselves on new years eve, eyes twinkling with hope, voices whispering good wishes, hands giving comfort, the walk of faith and the perennial love in our heart.
Love will always be there; for to live is to love and to love is to be happy. But love is like a homing bird. It sometimes go astray, sleep and rest along the way, try shortcuts, deviate from the usual route but always finds its way to where it's most happy and in peace, a place called HOME..
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE and may all your hearts find its way home.. 
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9MORNING MASS
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Posted:Dec 15, 2012 10:33 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:14 pm 16444 Views
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This is the first of the 9morning mass. I went to the church before 4am intending to find a seat where I can have a little moment of prayer and thanksgiving before the service begins. As it was the first, every nook and cranny was well taken. There's a vibrant mood around and everyone dressed for the high occassion. First intentions forgotten, I surveyed each faces discreetly (like what everyone's doing), and can't help but smile. Hope was written across their faces, tho' sleepy and yawning - for what? Well, to each his own.
We're fanatics people (Pinoys do). Born and bred with faith instilled, that we could have what we hope for by praying and sacrificing a little comfort here and there. In this case, a blissful sleep on a cold weather of the early morning.. and also the nemesis not to complete the 9. I'd completed mine for the last 2 years and I intend to finish it the third time in a row.. but with a different motive now. Before, I asked for love and was given, in fact more than I asked for. 'And the LORD taketh what has HE giveth'..I understand..
HE has something for me, rather someone, I'm sure. All I have to do is open up my heart - again to reconsider.. maybe! For that someone may have crossed my path once and I turned my back. This time, I'm asking the LORD take what HE gave me a plenty - PRIDE..just leave me a bit for posterity..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!
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AFTER THE STORM
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Posted:Dec 9, 2012 8:22 pm
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2013 7:02 am 16002 Views
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One week after I received the 'bomb' that shook all of me, and even those who were close to me - I am moving on. I was never the pathetic type who begs for comfort, drowning myself in alcohol, intoxicated and cry. I face mine head on. I keep myself busy and on the breaking point of exhaustion as I lay me down to sleep in oblivion. Thank God, I have so much willpower to overcome my grief. And so many people offering hands. Btw, I just opened my cp after a week. I willed it to ring in OFF mode plausible explanation, we're all entitled to some craziness sometimes.
Yesterday, I went to the church in an unusual time when there's no service and avoid the familiar faces..and the sermon. I may hear sympathizing remarks and break tears. As it is, there's a requiem mass goin' on. When it's over and the of the decease went up the pulpit to thank those who commiserated with them and eulogized his father, I cried with the crowd  not for the dead of course (don't know him  ) but for the love died within me.
I prayed for peace - his peace, my own, world peace Repentance for I'd hurt some people along the way, thankful that HE gave me so much strenght and asked for the perpetual burning of hope in my heart - for that elusive love and happiness.
It isn't over yet, i'm still hurting. In time, everyone will be forgiven...everything will be forgotten...
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METAMORPHOSIS 2
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Posted:Dec 2, 2012 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 5:59 am 16281 Views
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This is the worst time I've been dreading. The time to let go, and feel the pain. Though I've practiced long enough and readied myself for the impact, still, nothing as heart breaking, gut wrenching as the actual blow. I've been sleepless and in shock for a day - maybe the tiredness of the mind and body will render me a pitiful sleep but nevertheless a break from my somnambulistic state of mind. I'll wake up and the bad dream will go away.
Yap, it is such nothing as a bad dream. In no time, everything will be forgotten but as I mentioned to a friend - give me time to mourn and I'll bounce back a new me. A time to heal must begin after I forgive myself, processing now...
I'll win this over once again as I did number of times in the past and everytime, no regrets. I am a survivor and this one is another feather in my cap. I have my family, friends and enemies to keep my life busy, and LOVE - never say die!!!
Goodbye and goodluck P. 
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Gone to sleep
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Posted:Nov 13, 2012 6:59 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:13 pm 16433 Views
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Another one of those sleepless nights. I got up, away from the gallery of thoughts swirling thru my mind. When I think back about a specific one, nothing that I can pin point. I'm like this sometimes, most times...It's like a prism of thoughts, like a spectrum of colors, one like all the others - each one definite, everything's indefinite, nothing conclusive.
Defense mechanism??? The ability of the mind to shield the shell from anguish, further pain (to think is painful as it is). Like a malfunctioning computer - accepting data but not processing.
We all go through a phase like this. When so many problems needed thinking coming in all at once and the brain could only take so much. Some people go through depression...or worst (mental cases), some laugh or cry it off, others do drugs, drinking.
My perpetual salvation - SLEEP. I'll sleep with it soon as I'm done writing, after all, may I borrow Scarlett O's 'tomorrow's another day.'??? There's hope. Goodnight Rhett Butler..
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White Dove (La Paloma Blanca)
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Posted:Oct 5, 2012 7:20 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 5:53 am 16206 Views
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One long ago past, love came unbidden
In a solitary stupor, amorously certain
A spectral look cast a wanton smile
Uprooting stirring within, a sleeping vile.
A heart of floe, cold and empty
Suddenly fiery, merry extantly
Reproach came fast, a prick of uncertainty
From this chaotic life, an idiosyncrasy.
You are at liberty unrestrained unlike me
A victim of my own sanity, can't let myself free
Bound by invisible yoke, of intertwining plight
The tribal lock of a hundred reasons to fright.
Love like ours etched forever in a memory
In the depth of my heart, unfaded clarity
One lovely day I met the half of my whole
Away he goes, away my life, away my soul.
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METAMORPHOSIS
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Posted:Aug 11, 2012 6:50 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:13 pm 15610 Views
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Easy to say 'let go' of someone who means so much. The epitome of someone you've waited for, wished for. And give up? Agonizing just to think, much more in doing. Weighing all the options still decided on nothing.
If I were a Goddess, I would ask for a lightning to strike me down, all uncertainty vanish and come up from the ashes and evolve. But I was a mere mortal, need to obliterate my dilemma or live a chaotic life. Conscience dictates a virtue. Have I any? We abide by the rules and laws of society. Does it mean doing the right thing? Or simply to survive?
We're humans to live, free to love and be loved, the heart conquering above all else. In dreams perhaps, for love is possession. If somebody gets to it first, it can't be ours to hold anymore.
I'm not afraid to say goodbye.. If I may be bold, just a little more time..not just yet...
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Suddenly
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Posted:Jul 31, 2012 7:36 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:13 pm 16905 Views
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Suddenly, I'm here blogging again - after a long long time ..Suddenly, I'm not busy with my lovelife. I know my friends would wonder - triggered by the fact I'd change my profile pic, another BREAK UP??? Oh no, my relationship with my BF's getting stronger and better each day. Why the change of mood suddenly??? To say that I miss my friends here is an understatement - there's email, IM, you know!! Simply to blog is an overstatement. I'll come clean. My mind's getting stagnant, so, I'm here to pick up some food for the brain from my learned friends. It's not easy being away from them so long. Bring it on!!!
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