2008..new chapter Jan 1, 2008 1:55 am 991 Views December 31, I have a chance to perform again for the New Year Countdown in Hotel Nikko here in Saipan. At first, i felt the nervousness but as the music flows..I dance with the rhythm and go with the flow of the music... I was happy and smiling, dancing with the guest in the hotel...a fun filled event it is but when they turned off the lights and start the countdown...10...9...8...the tears just flowed down from my eyes because I know after this event I will be alone again....then I see the firecrackers.....wishing I would get rid these kind of feelings.... New year, new chapter...let's throw away the sadness, bitterness and we better open up our hearts and door for happiness... my simple wish this new year...that I could possibly find peace..... 4 Comments

happy 2008 everyone Dec 30, 2007 10:02 pm 1030 Views Another year has to end, and another year is coming....Let's face everything positively... I have to be all alone this new year same during the christmas time for I am away from home and from my family and got no one around here... But i wish each and everyone a blissful year to come....Let there be peace..... HAPPY 2008!!!!!! MISS YOU ALL!!! 10 Comments

Merry Christmas.... Dec 24, 2007 9:08 am 1062 Views It's Christmas 2007...I am still here in Saipan, missing my family back home for I don't have no one around here this christmas...my first time to celebrate christmas like this....anyways... MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF AROUND!!!! 8 Comments

MY life...an ordeal!!! Dec 5, 2007 5:10 am 1207 Views I really don’t have enough time to blog or even post to some of my groups around here these past few days and weeks for my internet connection is so limited. I have so many things in my mind, things that I really love to share with you or just want to write it down for blogging is my outlet….Am I so lazy to do it or I just don’t want to express or open up myself around here because some people do misinterpret me. My life ordeal here started before I came over last March 2007 and until now and it’s going to be 9 months now these coming December 16…..a very memorable day because it’s my only son’s 19th birthday! Asking myself, will I be in the Philippines then or still here in Saipan???? A question that even me can’t give the answer. Saipan was good to me on my first few years around, starting November 2000, the very first time that I do step my foot on these small island that was called a US territory and was well known as Commonwealth of Northern Marianas. Culture shocked I am with what I have learned about the culture and people around here. Maybe the reason why this island is called Paradise Island and Temptation Island, well it says it all and I don’t think I should elaborate more about it or maybe this is just another story about Saipan. I am anticipating things up, imagining and expecting a lot in coming back here. I’ve been out of the island for one year and half and stay away from all the things and people that reminds and hurt me. I don’t have any idea on what will happen but things around has never been good to me for the last 8 months of my stay and it is until now. Confused I am, wherein I really don’t know what is in store for me. What I really want and need and what has God wants me to do… December it is now. I will be all alone, by myself these holiday season, Yes, nobody around me….If only I could bring back those times wherein they pushed me to come over here…maybe…maybe I won’t come and will just stay back home to the Philippines. I’ve got no more life here….I have to make a decision NOW or else……. AND thinking DID I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION OF COMING AND STAYING OVER HERE???? HAYYY…. 4 Comments

I am still here..... Nov 19, 2007 3:36 am 1196 Views Iknowthat some or maybe all of my friends are wondering what happened to me for I am not able to go online for quite sometime. Friends, I am still here in Saipan, alive and kicking and now staying with a friend and her family. I can't go online same as before. If you are worried about my situation, I am more worried....I will let you know then next time. Right now, I am missing blogging and posting to my groups. I am now out of circulation but for sure I won't ever leave this site for I found all my TRUE FRIENDS here!!!! Just keep on praying for me....Thanks! 10 Comments

Happy Halloween... Oct 30, 2007 9:10 pm 1164 Views Happy halloween to everyone...Get ready for a trick or treat....get ready for a visit from someone... 4 Comments

A date with a Friend Oct 23, 2007 6:57 pm 1202 Views October 5, I received a call from a friend, I was really surprised when he told that he was here on the island for a short visit, which is really short for he came that day and leave the same day and spent just a few minutes with me... He came and pick me up where I am staying that time. We used those minutes roaming around looking for a place where we could have a bite for lunch. We ordered adobo and tortang talong. He seem to miss those kind of foods. We did talked about few things around. It was so nice of him to remember me and spend some of his time with me while he was around. He helped me during the time that I badly needed someone and I know until now he will never get tired of it.... Danny, Thanks a lot and it was nice seeing you here in Saipan!Hope I could meet you again....next time!!!! 0 Comments

Missing everyone.... Oct 11, 2007 7:10 pm 1906 Views I am missing everyone around now, my groups and blogging but sad to say I really can't go online...I do have a very limited time now...so much things to do...so much thinking and weighing things....MISSING EVERYONE AROUND!!!!!! Please bear with me!!!!! 18 Comments

GETTING TIRED....!!!!!! Oct 7, 2007 1:24 am 1946 Views I’m done with my laundry today and will pack my things again…Hayy…Life in Saipan, for me was not that easy since I came back here last March 16. It was full of hardships and heartaches. Right now, I am going to transfer to another house for I cannot afford to stay with a friend right now in her house. Many reasons why, one is, I really cannot possibly give her my share which is $200 a month. Second, she was the one who betrayed me and stabbed me at my back, the reason why I am now out of work. I don’t need to elaborate about these matter…But even you maybe, if you were in my shoes you would possibly do the same thing. No, I don’t have any grudges at all, it just that it is really hard to put your trust to anyone else around you. There are times that there’s this person who you thought was a real friend but in the end…you’ll be sorry!!! Lesson learned again! For almost 7 months of my stay here, 4 months without work and waiting for the outcome of the labor case. It’s been a tough fight for me, then 2 and half months with work but suddenly it turns out not that good as well. Working with a very mean, rude and inconsiderate Korean employer, working with Chinese people who got a few knowledge in English. Communication with my employer and co-workers was a big problem and that sometimes it comes into miscommunication and misinterpretation. Hirap ata mag – English barok at carabao. 7 months that I’ve been to 4 houses already, imagine that…!!! Really getting tired and asking myself “when would I would probably give up?”. I never lose my faith to the One above. Telling myself that all of these things that is happening to me has a reason. But I can’t help asking myself “when would my trials comes to it’s end?”. Nobody knows! Only Him knows it! Maybe it was written that I will come to the point of all of these things and will test my faith. I have to transfer to another house again and then will look if there would be an available job for me again….if there’s nothing…time to think of the next step! Got to go now, I really need to be in a hurry…I really don’t know if I could possibly get online again. Please bear with me my friends and please do keep on praying for me. Thank you very much and I do appreciate everyone who share my sentiments and whining around here in my blog! Goodbye for now! God Bless US!!!!!! 14 Comments

My Father's special day.... Oct 6, 2007 12:39 am 1657 Views [Just the other day, I saw a black butterfly flying and trying to comes in inside the house. By the time he gets through, he keeps on flying around me and then landed on my knee and stays there for a while. Thinking that surely the butterfly represents my father for his birthday will come. I know whenever I am into a big problem, trouble and situation he will be here that surely reminds me that he will always be here to guide and watch me. Today, October 6, is my father’s special day. It’s his birthday today and this will be the 2nd birthday that he won’t be around with us to celebrate it. But I did asked my family back home to offer a mass and cook for something, that even though he won’t be around, we will still celebrate his birthday. How I do miss him now, all his thoughts and advices, during the time that he will reprimand me for all the bad decisions in life, when I am down he will always be there. And these words that keeps on lingering in my mind and thoughts “Mahal na mahal ko ang anak ko na ito, ito ang favorite ko sa lahat, ito ang nakakuha ng utak ko”…whoa, tears are now falling in my eyes…I do really miss him! Padear, wherever you are now. I wish that you are happy! I know that you will be safe and there will no more pain for you. Just keep on guiding me and our family especially Madear….just keep on watching us….I LOVE YOU and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 0 Comments

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