Challenges..... Apr 19, 2008 6:19 pm 1100 Views Everyday, we do have to face challenges. Challenges that bring us to some risks. Every new day is a beginning for something. I left CNMI island, particularly Saipan on September 2005. I have to return home to the Philippines to give my last respect and see my father. I have the second thought of going for I just started working for a new job. I have been out of work from June 2005 then. But I decided to come home, work and money for me then is important but seeing my father being laid to rest is more important than anything else. By then, I have stayed in the Philippines for a year and half without work but spend more time with my mother and kids. Trying my best to make both ends meet. Back home, I started to have a new life, a new chapter. I become the light and foundation of the house. Everything is upon my shoulder and I think I have done my best. I started to meet new friends, spent time with them doing charity works voluntarily. I never thought I could possibly set my foot back to Saipan. A place where I left so many memories behind, from good to bad. March 2005, again, I got a call and needs to fly back. I have no sources; friends help me out with these predicaments. It’s been 11 months now and still wandering around. I’ve got a job, sometimes for a week and the longest one was for 3 months. There are times that bands invite me to join their group for just a one-night gig; meaning I don’t have a stable job and that’s how I was able to sustain myself here in Saipan But thinking back, I know I really have no life here and I need to go back home and start a new life again. Here, I am still hurting, all of my friends before is gone now. I have to stand on my own. I am staying with a family of 5 people wherein I do things I’ve never done before. I am like a housekeeper without any salary at all. I even take care of the business doing all the odd jobs. The little princess before becomes a servant. There are times that I do feel helpless, self pity maybe is the right word. I know these are all trials and can’t help but to cry at night. I am contented and happy with my life before but now, the emptiness is within me. But I still have the strength. I know God has a lot of plans and He only wants me to learn something important. Questions that no answer now will surely have answer. I will patiently wait for that time. Now, I am planning to go back home to be with my family. I know they miss me the way that I do. Will do things I am doing here to them. There’s no sense of staying here in this small island of Saipan because I know God has a purpose for me in coming here and that is to face reality and taste some hardships and pains of life. That I should learn to sacrifice myself for the happiness of other people. If I go back home, I know I will start a new beginning, a new chapter. 5 Comments

FAVOR AGAIN......??????? Apr 10, 2008 9:14 am 1171 Views Back in asking a favor with you guys AGAIN. In my 1 year and 1 month of staying here, there are times that I do have a job and for sometimes people just used me and then don’t hire me or pay me back with the accomplished job I’ve done for them. This morning, with all the applications and resumes that I have sent, (maybe around a 100 already ) , well it is really hard to find a job right now due to the reason that the island is suffering, yes, the economic downturn, one company has given me a call and schedule me for an interview by Monday. I just hope and wishing, while crossing my fingers, that I would and could fit in for the job opening they have. Please , for once, I am asking this favor to please do pray for me that I pass the interview on Monday and looking forward on having a job. If would have this job, by then I can’t go back to the Philippines but then I could have an income and can send money back home for my kids and mother. I will able to support them financially. Prayers for me please……. 5 Comments

Email greeting Apr 9, 2008 7:33 am 1173 Views happy birthday ma!!! musta ka na? sana ok ka nmn dyan... anu na balita? pasado nga pla ako kasama ako sa affiliation.... uhmm tgal mo na rin dyan.. paxenxia na ma mnsan nlng ak mkapgopen ngyon nga lng ako nbkante eh nkakapagod puro duty pero i find tym para mabati ka nmn neung bday mo... xayang ala ka dito.. uhhm ma xenxia na kc hindi na ako mkagwa tulad ng dting mga msg ko xeu pag bday mu.. uhhm ma ilan taon k n nga ba?...... hheehe.. isang taon nlng graduate na ako... sana mkapasa heheh... hirap ng 3rd yr dmi ntanggal samin.. buti thank god nkalusot ako... try ko tawag xeu bili ako budget card sa isang araw.. manila kmi duty 1 month kmi don.. 5 ospital iikutin namin... ma dmi pwede ikwento peu di ko lam xuxulat ko heheh... uhmm hope ok ka nmn dyan.. ma hapy hapy birthday ulit... sana ingat ka dyan plagi.. wag mu pabyaan sarili mu..... ok pag ngkausap nlng lit. hapy hapy birthday and dont 4get i love you and im always here 4 you.. god bless and good luck... ingat ka plgi mwuahh..... ***This is the email greeting of my only son....i was touched and tear fell down form my eyes when I read it especially when he wrote this line. "hapy hapy birthday and dont 4get i love you and im always here 4 you.. god bless and good luck... ingat ka plgi mwuahh....." 1 comment

My special day TODAY..... Apr 8, 2008 6:49 am 1231 Views A special day for me today. It’s my natal day and here I am still in the small island called Saipan. I already went to Church to offer a candle and prayer. Thanking the Lord for keeping me alive and safe up to this age. Asking myself what I am really doing in this place? I’ve got no work, Am I happy with my life here? Is it worth staying here, waiting and hoping for something to happen. The answer…so confusing….because even me, myself can’t figure it out. I already made a decision but no action was taken on that decision so…it’s useless!!!! This sufferings and pain happened to me maybe because of my own doing too. I am not blaming anyone. At least I don’t have the what if’s….This is one reality check that even though it really hurt so much I have the courage to face it all and go on with my life. Nope, I really don’t easily move on..Still I can’t let go but for me, the world won’t stop for me and I have to go on with my life. I was surprised when a friend called me up and tell me that someone send a birthday greeting in TFC connect for me with my whole name on it. I would like to thank that person personally but it appears that there was no name indicated on who greet me. Thanks for remembering my birthday. You really don’t know that it really made my day that even though I am in the verge of crying, still it uplifts my spirit that people around…family and friends love me for what I am….and remember me! To all my family and friends around here in this site…..i do really miss you and thanks for greeting me on my special day…..it really makes my day! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!! 9 Comments

I SURRENDER.... Feb 19, 2008 3:36 am 1405 Views Surrendering is not really accepting that you lose the battle. Surrendering is the way of a new beginning. to be continued 9 Comments

That's life...that's LOVE.... Jan 11, 2008 3:49 am 1479 Views Life is mysterious and complicated too. There are times that things happened to us, without us, wishing for it. Obstacles which we hardly know that is coming. Sometimes we thought there’s no ending to all our happiness but actually there is. Life is full of trials and sacrifices. We learned a lesson from it. They say there’s no FOREVER in this world. But how about LOVE???? Life and love always combines. One can’t live without the other. Like a two person who truly love one another. TILL DEATH DO THEY PART. Life and love comes for a reason…You do have life because our parents love us and brought us to see the world. Life is a struggle that even when you are still a young child you struggle to know what life is all about when you grow up. As the songs say “whatever will be, will be, Que sera, sera” But there are things in life and love that we don’t want to happen but still it has to happen. Some say it happens because it has a purpose. Some says it is written. It is God’s will. It’s our fate and destiny. So confusing…..and we are just coping with it without even knowing why and the reason for it. They say “Love is God and God is love”, but there are some questions that arises in people’s lives. If God is LOVE, why did He allow us to be hurt because of love? Why He allowed us to feel all the pain because of love? Do we really need to suffer and struggle to find one GREAT TRUE LOVE? Maybe because He love us and give us the freedom to choose what kind of life and love we want to have. It is called FREE WILL. Nothing in this world is FOREVER, everything has to end, and we just can’t stop it even though we wanted too. If there is life, if there is love….hurt and pain will be around too. Like, if there’s faithfulness, deception will be there too. God will be around and the Demon too. It is up to US, human beings how to survive and face all the things to come. Things we don’t expect to. Be strong, for everyone around is not free from all the world’s hurt and sufferings. It’s part of life and love. 3 Comments

Holding on and Giving up.... Jan 7, 2008 1:24 am 1497 Views When and why do we need to hold on??? When and why do we have to give up??? If you’re tired and tried fighting for your right and nothing happens. It is time to accept reality and losing. That’s the time wherein we should give up the fight. But if there’s something you can hold on to, then don’t give up and continue to fight for it. Sometimes holding on is painful. Holding on means you are still taking chances, holding on gives you the hope for something. We have to allow ourselves allotted time and moment for everything. Giving up gives more freedom for yourself and for others too. Taking a risk. with this, we will surely know the outcome of each decision and chances we would like to take, even how painful it would be to know that sometimes in reality people don’t win all the battles. Acceptance in losing a battle is one factor in giving up. You have done your best but still you’ve lose. If you just accept things that’s happening in your life, there will be peace. Yes, I know that it is easier said than done. You really need time to contemplate on each things. One thing I have learn, Hold on unto the One, the Lord. He won’t give up for you. He just want you to learn a lesson with all those trials. Good things will come your way. Right now, I am still fighting, I am still suffering, I am still making all those sacrifices and yet I know in time….it will be rewarded! 4 Comments

Where are YOU???? Jan 5, 2008 8:32 pm 1533 Views I really don't have enough time to make a blog or even visit my group around here in FFF...but i truly miss them...my blog, my groups and my friends around.. Whenever I have the chance to go online, the time is soooo limited.... Just wondering where are my friends now? How come few of them visit my blog now... I miss all of those guys who comes over here in my blog...... See you around!!! 7 Comments

Saipan now.... Jan 4, 2008 9:21 pm 1369 Views Saipan now…. Thinking about David Copperfield on how he keeps on doing his magic. Where does magic came from? How could magic can fool other people’s eye? Well, just wondering about what magic does Saipan have that alien workers, Filipinos, Chinese, Koreans, Bangladesh people would want to stay around even though the economy around here is bad. It’s hard to find a job. Some or most of the employers around here are now taking advantages and abusing their employees. Sponsorship is now rampant, meaning you have to pay $1,500.00 up to $2,000.00 just to have that called legal documents, that you are really employed by a certain employer. How come there are also a lot of illegal aliens roaming around now? Waiting for the federalization of this small island? Waiting for a chance of having a GREEN CARD or become a permanent resident of the island? A new bill has been passed and starting January 1, 2008 it will become a Public Law. The new P.L. or bill that makes everyone confused and bewildered. There are some who does agree to it and of course, there are also who are against it. It really affects the employer and most of all, the employee. One of it is, if your one-year contact is finish, there will be no more transfer for the employee. What will happen if your employer doesn’t want to renew your contract, then you have no choice. The employer must give a repatriation ticket and the employee should go back to his place of origin. Next, if you do have a labor case, by then, you have to go back to your place of origin and can only come back if there would a hearing for the case. Then, the employee who filed the labor case would purchase his own ticket just for the hearing. What would happen next? There won’t be anymore Memorandum or TWA’s around. If ever the employer renewed your contract, it is renewable up to 3 years and by then you have to exit. Saipan got it’s magic…a place where people would love to stay…and these is another story…….. 2 Comments

TFC show..... Jan 4, 2008 3:24 am 1057 Views I was bored, finished and done with all the things here inside the house when I suddenly thought of watching TFC show…It was WOWOWIE….. The contestants are those who are going to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. I was touched and amazed by those kind of people. They stick together for half a century. They all have grown up children and even grandchildren. While Willie, the host of the show asked them what makes them stay together that long?….IT IS LOVE and UNDERSTANDING with the combination of PATIENCE…..being strong in times of hardships and of course putting God in the middle of a relationship. As I was watching, I can’t help but admire those old ones and wishing for myself that it would happen to me….but alas, it will not….I know that everyone wishes for someone who could be with them through thick and thin, in health and in sickness, till DEATH DO US PART…a line from a wedding ceremony! With a lot changes now, with a lot of temptations, with different belief and minds now….It would be hard to one’s relationship to survive. One will attempt to save the relationship while the other won’t. Love now easily fades…Some says that life and love is a gamble, be happy now and do whatever it is that pleases you…wherein there are times you are hurting others. If you are not happy and contented with someone, it is easy to find other person to fill in. A philosophy that some people follow nowadays. I know life should go on with people who are hurting. Don’t lose hope…. 6 Comments

 sunshine8

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