Three men, an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish." The photographer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas. The journalist went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean. Last, but not least, it was the editor's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie. "I want them both back after lunch" replied the editor, "The deadline for tomorrow's newspaper is in about ten hours."
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened,making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from.
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon."
In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family)! When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King and the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. (what the?!) The placard had F.U.C.K.(Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.
"Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one's ideas, to take a calculated risk - and to act."
A young man thought of buying a gift for his girlfriend. After such deliberation he finally settled into buying a pair of gloves. He asked his sister to accompany him to the ladies shop to make his purchase. His sister bought 2 panties for herself. The two packages were mixed up on the counter so his sister got the gloves. The young man sent the package to his sweetheart not knowing the contents of the package were the 2 panties his sister bought for herself. Together with the package came the note.
Dear Sweetheart,
This gift is to tell you that I am keeping in touch for your birthday. I chose this gift to replace the one I tore during our first date, because since then you have not been in the habit of wearing any when we go out on evenings.
If it had not been for my sister, I would have bought the short one. The saleslady from whom I bought them showed me the pair she was wearing. She told me that she had been wearing them for three consecutive weeks and it had not been soiled at all. It was very soft to touch.
I asked the saleslady to wear it and it looked very nice on her. I do not know your exact size but I thought I am in a better position than any one to guess since I hold yours most of the time. They will naturally be a little deep to wear and sometimes will have the tendency to smell, so put a little talcum powder before you wear them.
Be sure to keep them off while cleaning for they are liable to shrink. I hope you will accept them with the thought that I gave them to you. Please wear them on Friday evenings so I will always have the pleasure of removing them.
Always,
Honey
P.S. I will look forward to kiss the front as well as the back of them. The saleslady said that the latest style is wearing them unbuttoned to give the carefree look. If they are small, send them back to me so I could stretch them by putting them on mine. Don't forget to put my favorite scent on. I love you....[/COLOR]
Three things in life that, once gone, never come back
1. Time 2. Words 3. Opportunity
Three things in life that can destroy a person
1. Anger 2. Pride 3. Unforgiveness
Three things in life that you should never lose
1. Hope 2. Peace 3. Honesty
Three things in life that are most valuable
1. Love 2. Family 3. Kindness
Three things in life that are never certain
1. Fortune 2. Success 3. Dreams
Three things that make a person
1. Commitment 2. Sincerity 3. Hard work
Three things that are truly constant -
Father - Son - Holy Spirit
I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today, to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way. God's love is always with you, God's promises are true. And when you give God all your cares, you know God will see you through.
Admitting our limitations. A second barrier to total surrender is our PRIDE. We don't want to admit that we're just creatures and not in charge of everything. It is the oldest temptation: "You'll be like God! That desire-to have complete control- is the cause of so much STRESS, but what most people don't realize is that our struggle, like Jacob's is really a struggle with God! We want to be God, and there's no way we are going to win that struggle.
A.W. Tozer said, "The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us."
We aren't God and NEVER will be. We are humans. It is when we try to be God that we end up most like SATAN, who desired the same thing.
We accept our humanity intellectually, but not emotionally. When faced with our own limitations, we react with irritation, anger, and resentment. We want to be taller( or shorter), smarter, stronger, more talented, more beautiful,and wealthier. We want to have it all and do it all, and we become upset when it doesn't happen. Then when we notice that GOD gave others characteristics we don't have have, we respond with envy, jealousy, and self pity.
People can sense if you like them or not, ad if you don't, even if you say and do all the " right" things, there will most likely be tension between you. You should try to get along with everyone, of course, but especially in cases where you have to work around people you don't particularly like, building a more positive relationship is a must.
You probably feel that the only way the situation can change is if others change whatever it is that irritates you, but that's not likely to happen unless you first change your attitude about them. That may sound practically impossible, as you no doubt think you have a reason for feeling about them as you do-but that's where God comes in.
If you sincerely want to improve relations, God will go to work the minute you ask for his his help. He will help you see each"problem person" as he do, with love and understanding. Change will come, and it will begin with a change of heart-your heart. He will give you a genuine appreciation for that person that will change your relationship. When they sense your positive attitude, their feelings toward you will also change for the better. If you don't believe God, just try it!
of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.
