21 Things Girls Don't Realize Sep 14, 2008 6:48 am 254 Views You HAVE to read all of them and if you don't your going to come across with problems in your relationship for the next month! 1. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about; 2. Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try; 3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile; 4. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to; 5. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what? ..uh..never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out; 6. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice; 7. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you; 8. GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM!!! 9. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot. 10. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl. 11. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he is really thinking about something. 12. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that. 13. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me". 14. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up. 15. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something. 16. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them 17. A guy would give the world to be able to read a girl's mind for a day. 18. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it. 19. NOT ALL GUYS ARE RUDE!!! Just because ONE is RUDE doesn't mean he represents ALL of them. 20. WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. 21. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life. GUYS AND GALS... DO YOU AGREE OR NOT? 6 Comments

Drinking Again Sep 13, 2008 7:45 pm 212 Views An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again." 8 Comments

Vaseline Research (Joke) Sep 10, 2008 8:43 pm 164 Views A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He said, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?" She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time." "And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?" "We use it for sex." The researcher was a little taken aback. He said, "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?" The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out."[/B] 2 Comments

Freshman vs Senior Citizen Sep 10, 2008 8:37 pm 144 Views A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one." The student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "We, the young people of today, grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, men walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing and...," pausing to take another drink of beer. The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young ........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little fart, what are you doing for the next generation?" The applause was resounding.. I love senior citizens. 1 comment

MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER (JOKE) Sep 10, 2008 8:20 pm 147 Views MAGAZINES: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and shouldn't be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women. CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. JEWELRY: Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Ramone. RESTROOMS: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women use restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will never speak a word to each other. Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, 'Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?' 4 Comments

Never Heard that Excuse! Aug 27, 2008 4:47 pm 180 Views A fellow bought a new Corvette and was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Corvette," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 130 and finally 150 with the light still behind him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. ''I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!" "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Off you go," said the officer. 4 Comments

Breathless Aug 22, 2008 8:34 pm 148 Views You have left me breathless By your caressing and touch I want to leave you breathless Because I love you very much I've never felt this way I'm loving every minute I wouldn't ever want to imagine Life without you in it What would life be like If you were not here with me I know it would be so lonely Just think how sad that would be I hope you're mine forever I hope that we are never apart I hope you always leave me breathless Because you're the beating of my heart 1 comment

Farmer and His Daughters Aug 18, 2008 8:59 am 142 Views A small town farmer had 3 daughters. Being a single father, he tended to be somewhat over-protective of them. When gentlemen came to take his daughters out on a date, he would greet them with a shotgun to make sure that they knew who was boss. One evening all of his daughters had plans. The doorbell rang, the farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show - Is she ready to go?" The farmer frowned, but decided to let them go. The doorbell rang again a few minutes later, the farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty, We're gonna get spaghetti - Is she ready?" The farmer frowned but decided to let them go. The doorbell rang again after a couple of minutes. The farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Chuck..." And the farmer shot him. 0 Comments

Old Lady Makes Three Wishes Aug 18, 2008 8:46 am 144 Views An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life. All of a sudden a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. "Well, now." says the old lady "I guess I would like to be really rich." *POOF* her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." *POOF* she turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh-can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. *POOF* there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered." 0 Comments

Views of Men Aug 18, 2008 8:27 am 151 Views 1) If you think the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, your aiming too high! 2) Women dont make fool's of men--Most of them are the do-it-yourself type. 3) The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: your sick of him. 4) Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too. 5) A womans work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do. 6) If you want a nice man go for a bald one--they try harder. 7) Go for younger men. You might as well--they never mature anyway. A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay. 9) Men are all the same--they just have different faces so you can tell them apart. 10) Definition of a man with manners--he gets out of the bath to pee. 11) Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband , you will usually find that he is. 12) Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men---Women. 13) There are alot of words you can use to describe men--strong, caring, loving--they'd be wrong but you can still use them. 14) Men are like animals--messy, insensitive and potentially violent--but they make great pets. 15) Men's brains are like the prison system--not enough cells per man. 16) There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men--"dont" and "stop". 17) Husbands are like children--they're fine if they are someone else's. 0 Comments

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