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Nude Gardening
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Oct 7, 2009 5:04 am
228 Views
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A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won’t ripen. There’s a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she’s getting tired of it. So she goes to her neighbor and says,”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?”
Her neighbor replies,”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.”
She says Well, what the heck it can’t hurt to try it.
Next day her neighbor asks how it worked.
“So-so,” she answers. “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”
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7
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Cheated Blonde
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Oct 7, 2009 4:47 am
186 Views
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
One day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically, the blonde responds to her husband, “Shut up… you’re next.”
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3
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I Want To Get Weighed
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Oct 7, 2009 4:30 am
162 Views
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Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. “What would you like to do first, Amber?” asked Jesse. “I want to get weighed,” replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. “I want to get weighed,” she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. “I want to get weighed,” Amber responded.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, “How did it go?” Amber responded, “Oh, Waura. It was wousy.”
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1
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WHAT DO THEY HAVE?
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Oct 7, 2009 4:14 am
165 Views
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Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn’t have one,
The POPE has one but doesn’t use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns’ was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi’s
what is it???????
A LAST NAME.....!
Were you thinking of something
else?
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1
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