lavender3704's Blog

Posts on 8/18 View All

Farmer and His Daughters	Aug 18, 2008 8:59 am 91 Views
A small town farmer had 3 daughters. Being a single father, he tended to be somewhat over-protective of them. When gentlemen came to take his daughters out on a date, he would greet them with a shotgun to make sure that they knew who was boss. One evening all of his daughters had plans. The doorbell rang, the farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show - Is she ready to go?" The farmer frowned, but decided to let them go. The doorbell rang again a few minutes later, the farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty, We're gonna get spaghetti - Is she ready?" The farmer frowned but decided to let them go. The doorbell rang again after a couple of minutes. The farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Chuck..." And the farmer shot him.
	0 Comments

Old Lady Makes Three Wishes	Aug 18, 2008 8:46 am 89 Views
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life. All of a sudden a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. "Well, now." says the old lady "I guess I would like to be really rich." POOF her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." POOF she turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh-can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. POOF there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."
	0 Comments

Views of Men	Aug 18, 2008 8:27 am 88 Views
1) If you think the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, your aiming too high! 2) Women dont make fool's of men--Most of them are the do-it-yourself type. 3) The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: your sick of him. 4) Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too. 5) A womans work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do. 6) If you want a nice man go for a bald one--they try harder. 7) Go for younger men. You might as well--they never mature anyway. A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay. 9) Men are all the same--they just have different faces so you can tell them apart. 10) Definition of a man with manners--he gets out of the bath to pee. 11) Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband , you will usually find that he is. 12) Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men---Women. 13) There are alot of words you can use to describe men--strong, caring, loving--they'd be wrong but you can still use them. 14) Men are like animals--messy, insensitive and potentially violent--but they make great pets. 15) Men's brains are like the prison system--not enough cells per man. 16) There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men--"dont" and "stop". 17) Husbands are like children--they're fine if they are someone else's.
	0 Comments