The Statue Apr 19, 2008 10:04 am 466 Views [B]Mrs. Smith was in bed having wild passionate night with Mr. Jones, when all of the sudden her husband came home. Surprised that he was home so early, she quickly told Mr. Jones to stand in the corner, then she covered him with cold cream and patted him down with some talc she had on her dresser. Mr. Smith walks in the bedroom and sees his wife laying naked in bed, appearing to be ready for a wild night with her husband. After a long day at work, he is refreshed by this site, so he disrobes and climbs on for a great ride. After they finished, he asks her, "Dear, what is that in the corner?" "Well," starts Mrs. Smith, "It's a statue! It's the latest fad and Mrs. Crump down the street has one just like it, so I wanted one too!" Mr. Smith seemed satisfied with this answer so he closes his eyes and goes to sleep. He awakens at midnight and goes to the kitchen where he prepares 2 sandwiches and brings them back to the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he walks over to the statue and hands one of the sandwiches to Mr. Jones. "Here buddy," says Mr. Smith, "I stood like an idiot at the Crumps the whole night and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water!" 1 comment

Free Meat...!!! Apr 19, 2008 10:02 am 362 Views It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calender, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!" 1 comment

Curing a Cough Apr 18, 2008 8:06 pm 418 Views The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up. "He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once." "Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily. "Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He’s afraid to cough." 4 Comments

Bra Sizes Explained Apr 18, 2008 5:17 pm 675 Views Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! {A} Almost boobs... {B} Barely there {C} Can't complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake {G} Get a Reduction {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up! 14 Comments

Thought for the Day! Apr 18, 2008 5:13 pm 348 Views MONEY .....ATTITUDE ..........AND EGO are like underwear...You should have it, but should NOT show it...!!!!!! Have a nice day! 1 comment

Qualities of a Wife Apr 18, 2008 10:07 am 442 Views A new wife has 3 qualities: .....ECONOMIST in kitchen .....ARTIST at home .....DEVIL in bed After few years, she is: .....ARTIST in kitchen .....DEVIL at home .....ECONOMIST in bed 3 Comments

QUOTE OF THE DAY Apr 18, 2008 10:00 am 381 Views IF U WOULD LIKE TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER, BE LIKE A WHISTLING KETTLE...SING WHEN YOU BOIL...!!! 1 comment

You Are The One Apr 13, 2008 6:42 am 389 Views You are the one, In my dreams at night. You are the one, I'm holding so tight. You are the one, I want to be kissin' You are the one, I don't want to be missin' You are the one, Who holds the key. You are the one, I want with me. You are the one, I want to touch. You are the one, I need so much. You are the one, That I'll forever love. You are the one, Sent from heaven above. I love you tiger! 5 Comments

What If...? Apr 13, 2008 6:31 am 305 Views What if...? God couldn't take the time to Bless us today because we could not take the time to thank Him yesterday... What if...? God decided to stop leading us tomorrow Because we didn't follow Him today... What if...? God didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day... What if....? We never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when God sent the rain... What if...? God stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love and care for others... What if...? God took away the Bible tomorrow, because we would not read it today... What If...? God took away his message because we failed to listen to His messenger... What if...? God didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to prepared to pay the price of sin... What if...? The door to the church was closed because we did not open the door of our hearts... What if...? God would not hear us today because we would not listen to Him yesterday... What if...? God answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service... What if...? God met our needs the way we give Him our lives... 0 Comments

It Was Fate Apr 13, 2008 6:29 am 304 Views Since the moment I first met you, I knew that I had found a wonderful person. Your humor always makes me laugh or smile, And your gift of wit never ceases to amaze me. When the woes of the world overwhelm me, You are there with comfort and perspective. Your sense of humor makes me smile; Your compassion and understanding makes me rejoice. There are billions of people in this world. And of all these people, I met you. Fate has bonded us together; Fate will never tear us apart. Because of you, I know that fate must exist. You are living proof. Although I may not say it often, I value you immensely. Thank you for being my love. 0 Comments

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