Thank You For Your Emails...! May 7, 2008 8:13 am 386 Views Know what I like best about the internet? The great things from my friends I get... Jokes and cards, all such great stuff. You know I just, can't get enough. And those cartoons, they drive me wild. You all know now thats really my style. Now don't forget those crazy pictures too, some are so funny I come unglued. So thank you friend, I have to say. You sure know how to make my day! 0 Comments

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY May 7, 2008 8:10 am 394 Views Well Mom it's your day once again And there are a few things I need to say I want to tell you I love and appreciate you On this very special Mother's Day You are the one who gave me life You are the Mother that I want to be You are the one that I cherish You give all your love to me I know I don't say this enough But my love for you is true So I will say it now and forever Mom I dearly love you You have taught me so much Always with tender, love, and care Mom if you ever need me You know I'm always there Happy Mother's Day! 2 Comments

Why I Fired My Secretary! May 7, 2008 7:56 am 423 Views Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember." The children came down to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday... ...and there on the couch I sat... naked !!! 2 Comments

My Buddy, My Tiger Apr 24, 2008 5:51 pm 477 Views My Buddy, my friend, my companion, through good times and bad. My friend, my buddy, through happy and sad. Beside me you stand, beside me you walk. You're there to listen you're there to talk. With happiness, with smiles, with pain and tears, I know you'll be there, throughout the years! 1 comment

Males Before Females Apr 23, 2008 5:19 am 495 Views Why were males created before females??? *** **** ***** ****** Because... males always need a rough draft ***** before the final copy! **** *** 2 Comments

Who is Jack Schitt? (Joke) Apr 22, 2008 6:20 pm 542 Views Who is Jack Schitt? The Lineage Revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them. 2 Comments

Bedtime Prayer for Women (Joke) Apr 22, 2008 6:15 pm 415 Views Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart and strong, One whose thingy is thick and long. One who thinks before he speaks, When he promises to call, he won"t wait weeks. I pray that he is gainfully employed, And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair & opens my door, Massages my back & begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind, Knows just what to say when I ask "How big's my behind? One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin', In the hall, the tub, the garden and kitchen! I pray that this man will love me no end, And never attempts to shag my best friend. And as I kneel and pray by my bed, I look at the jackass you sent me instead. A-man. 0 Comments

Price of Marriage Apr 20, 2008 3:48 pm 641 Views SEX is a price woman pays for marriage. .....MARRIAGE is a price man pays for sex 4 Comments

Food that causes sufferings Apr 20, 2008 3:44 pm 550 Views A health forum speaker asked... "WHAT FOOD CAUSES THE MOST SUFFERINGS FOR YEARS AFTER EATING IT?" after a long silence, an old man answered: "WEDDING CAKE!" 1 comment

Bloody Business Apr 20, 2008 3:38 pm 525 Views FATHER: I want u to marry the girl of my choice son SON: no FATHER: but girl is BILL GATES' daughter SON : then ok FATHER approaches BILL GATES FATHER: I have a husband for your daughter BILL GATES: my daughteer is too young to marry FATHER: but my son is VICE PRESIDENT of WORLD BANK BILL GATES: then ok FATHER goes to PRESIDENT of WORLD BANK FATHER: appoint my son as VP in your bank PRESIDENT: no FATHER: he is son-in-law of BILL GATES PRESIDENT: then ok This is called as BLOODY BUSINESS...!!! 1 comment

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