FATHER: I want u to marry the girl of my choice son SON: no FATHER: but girl is BILL GATES' daughter SON : then ok
FATHER approaches BILL GATES FATHER: I have a husband for your daughter BILL GATES: my daughteer is too young to marry FATHER: but my son is VICE PRESIDENT of WORLD BANK BILL GATES: then ok
FATHER goes to PRESIDENT of WORLD BANK FATHER: appoint my son as VP in your bank PRESIDENT: no FATHER: he is son-in-law of BILL GATES PRESIDENT: then ok
[B]Mrs. Smith was in bed having wild passionate night with Mr. Jones, when all of the sudden her husband came home. Surprised that he was home so early, she quickly told Mr. Jones to stand in the corner, then she covered him with cold cream and patted him down with some talc she had on her dresser.
Mr. Smith walks in the bedroom and sees his wife laying naked in bed, appearing to be ready for a wild night with her husband. After a long day at work, he is refreshed by this site, so he disrobes and climbs on for a great ride.
After they finished, he asks her, "Dear, what is that in the corner?" "Well," starts Mrs. Smith, "It's a statue! It's the latest fad and Mrs. Crump down the street has one just like it, so I wanted one too!" Mr. Smith seemed satisfied with this answer so he closes his eyes and goes to sleep.
He awakens at midnight and goes to the kitchen where he prepares 2 sandwiches and brings them back to the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he walks over to the statue and hands one of the sandwiches to Mr. Jones. "Here buddy," says Mr. Smith, "I stood like an idiot at the Crumps the whole night and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water!"
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?
Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calender, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!"
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.
"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once."
"Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily.
"Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He’s afraid to cough."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost boobs... {B} Barely there {C} Can't complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake {G} Get a Reduction {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
