"....but say all the guys in your street werent blind and someone wanted you all to themself then what a scam - get u banned so nobody else can talk to u - brilliant I wish I had thought of it...."
Sometimes we only know to value a certain thing...or realize how important that someone in our life after we lost it...
I hate losing something that is mine and dear to me,i tend to be very sentimental to the extent at times...
when i thought i have lost my handle KLOGBY...i cried not that i did'nt value it or have not realize only how klogby meant in my life after knowing i have lost it.
It was the same thought of losing things dear to me and wanting it back...i cried because of the thought i have lost it for no reason at all.
I woke up in the morning 2 days ago and first thing i did was to turn the computer on...read my messages and emails and log in to fff...i panic the site is not accepting my handle...i tried Fallen_Angel30 and also it wo'nt open and a window appeared "the page cannot be displayed"i have kept on trying but to no avail.i thought the site may just be slow and server is busy so i just work and read blogs while i am offline.i didnt get to log in the whole day and it was starting to worry me.I ask someone to check my profiles availability and he told me i was last online on that day i actually coul'nt get through.Certain thoughts coming my mind...Was my handle BANNED?...But for what reason..?and how did it appeared i was online when i didnt???i was feeling really bad and still could not accept that i will lost klogby forever,this is where i started,this is my roots and the sense of belongingness,my own identity in the history of FFF,the feeling that as if i have lost my own self is putting me down.I was talking to Silvermedal2 last night,and i poured out to him how i feel lost without klogby...he promised to help me do something about it and wrote to FFF customer service and see how.If my handle was banned and reported by somebody i want to know and i want to know who did it and ask why he/she did it...I still have my second handle "Fallen_Angel30" but i found it too that it had the same problem but it didnt worry me as much as losing klogby(anyway my friends knows both are my handle).It sure is easy to just signed up with new handle but i dont want to lost klogby or that i will ever change it,i have gone through many ups and down with klogby and it saw me through my failed friendships,relationships...it's not just my handle...its my own identity...its my own self. ...here i am back thankful and i have klogby back...a very nice surprise for me this morning...i tried to sign in and it work...Thank you...
Is'nt it sometimes we want others only to see the beautiful things about us and we try to hide things away from prying eyes,afraid of criticisms and getting negative idea from others?
I do'nt know if i am making a sense in here,but what i am saying is that Do We Have something about ourselves that We dont really want others to know about US???
Shall we call this SOCIAL MASKS(is this the right word for it?).Sometimes we see a person that seems to be very well off in terms of money,(Is'nt this always seems to be the basis of telling how the person is really doing well with his living? right?)and we in nature are jealous and or envious of others achievements.We see them having a good life,great jobs,bigger opportunities in their business than us or simply they are high and mighty so like out from our reach whereus we are down below struggling of what we have.
Sometimes when i tell people i meet i am just a maid working for other people,they start looking at me up and down and asking me if Am I really,Yes I am,indeed. What was wrong about working as a maid,it is a descent job,i am working and earning a humble living and i find great the satisfaction from my work,i dont have to deal with loads of paperworks and spent hours away home and have to answer to my boss' demands,I dont have to deal with life and death situation in the operating table,I dont have to be in a court of Justice tyring to acquit my client from doing something against the law or try to defend him .But as for me i have great challenges in my work too,making sure the household runs smoothly under my care,i get some pressures from work as well,i do spent years away from my family,and above all i am not closing the door for other oppurtunities coming my way,i get to meet well known people with confidence in my own stride.I too get to travel and see different places and people and experience different cultures which have been to me my greatest learning experience that has made me be the person i am worth right now....
I wanna be, just BE myself and not be a shadow of anybody or somebody.Because what is right for me may not be right for you,It may mean of I having to stand on my own and doing something strange in the eyes of others,yet it shall not daunt me to do whatever it is because i know within is right for me.
We do have our choices in life,A choice that is all in ourselves.We can be just ourselves and or be a second rate version of somebody else...
My parting WORDS FOR ALL: It's NOT what you do for a living that really matters,What matters most is what what you become by what you do.
I dont want to be a shadow simply darkenning your memory. I dont want to be picture simply hanging up your wall I just want to wake every morning knowing when i open my eyes your simply there gazing a me. I dont want to ask you more than what you were prepared to give...Just give your love and heart for me alone.
I'll steal your heart and set it free... Tear down the walls that sorrounds you then only this love will ever be free, And my heart will be at peace.
You feel i still have feelings for my ex friend,though i have assured you countless times i dont have the same feeling anymore...why ca'nt you just be content of what we have right now and stop pondering of things that has been in he past and not gonna be anything to do with us for future.Why ca'nt we just live of what we are today and make the best of it for tomorrow...Will i ever have the chance to show you...you do'nt have to doubt no more... You never gave a chance for me to explain anyway.What else is there for me to say...
When you feel so lost and nothing seems to care When you feel the world has stop right there And you feel that there is no one to turn to Do'nt ever feel you are alone and has no one ever.
Open up your arms feel the soft breeze Smell the new fragrance of the morning flowers blooms Sweet and gentle singing of some distant birds Was'nt it so wonderfull,to feel you are never alone?
In the dark of the night when you feel the world around you have darkened Look up above and see bright twinkling stars and the moonlight casting silhoutte shadows So peacefully...
When there's a storm, Hear loud roaring thunders, lightning scares you,the wind howling and it seems to be an angry weather getting into your senses Do'nt ever feel alone,They all shall pass...
After a week long worrying about our work,is'nt it so good to be able to have time to relax,thats what OFFDAYS is all about.time for ourselves away from work and just relax. Sometimes when everything at work is like a routine and there is seem to be no more challenge and or pressure we tend to be laxed sometimes we lost interest in the job that we do and sometimes we ca'nt feel anymore the satisfaction it always bring us. Why not think of a break...get yourself Off from your work from time to time and do something interesting for awhile that will keep your mind off from your work.
Sometimes...even the best of us get stressed out. Sometimes...we could all use a break. Sometimes...laughter can solve the problem. Sometimes...a light heart can save the day. Sometimes...a carefree attitude can free the soul. Sometimes...a smile can warm the coldest of hearts. Sometiems...the right words can change the situation.
Sometimes...it's just not enough... Sometimes...there's nothing you can do.
