ACCOMMODATION IN MARRIAGE Nov 7, 2009 6:32 am 67 Views The transition of my life from a carefree and strike anywhere single to a budding working housewife and student posted some troubles that sometimes require me to slow down and remind myself of my status. There are things (infact a lot of them) that I can not still digest and I am still trying to digest in order to integrate them in my whole system. Often, critical thinking does and doesnt apply at all. In most cases, I end up using item analysis in order to dissect each issue. The process is mindblowing but working so far. My process of crossexamination and dissection of things is not that really complicated. I consider the basic information that makes my husband and I define our identity in both our personal and professional fields. I go through our data and apply comparison and contrast for better comprehension. Here are some tangible data that I always look into.. My husband is almost twice my age with almost 4 decades of experience in his expertise. Have been travelling around the world who had started his career from the lowest and descended to the top position. Beenn married once, was divorced when he was my age, raised his only son, sent him to a medical school and remain as his son's bestfriend until now. Educationally, he got his shouting Ph.D at the end of his name.Lastly, he negotiates before doing things. What about me? (hehehehe). I am not young anymore and compared to him my expertise is just his apprenticeship. Educationally, I am still killing myself in order to pass all the examinations required by the state and the university where I am in now. I work closely with students and have travelled a quarter (at least) of the places my husband had been into. Never been married (except now) but had sent my bros and sisters to various universities in order to complete their education as well. I am still working for that Ph.D (craziness!!)in an extremely different field. Lastly, I do things the way I want them to be. Where is now our point of reconciliation? I am free willing he is negotiating so we end up with accommodating. We accommodate each others caprices, wants and beliefs. We discuss instead of argue and respect each others individuality. I continue to chase the sparkling stars of my career while he enjoys his retirement with his fishing partners. I read my books and papers while he enjoys his walk with our two dogs. I am up early during the day while he is still preparing to start his sleep. I snore at night while he enjoys his syfy and pleasure reading. He refuses to get into the car if I drive while I love sleeping confidently if he is on the wheel.We are a couple made up of remarkable diversity but we enjoy most of our times. We have ups and downs and our life in not made from heaven existence.There are aspects that my husband can not function anymore but it never been our problem.We consume our marriage based on what are the available resources that we can provide to the best of our capacities. The spirit of accommdation works very good with each other. I am happy that I have my husband as my critic, mentor, bestfriend, partner and guide. I might not have a perfect marriage ( thats impossible)but I am contented and satisfied with what I have. I always respect the sanctity and sacredness of the decision and commitment I made when I signed my marriage contract. Anyway....the only thing I can not accommodate in our marriage is claning the mess of our dogs and cats....my answer is always: NO WAY!!! Everytime, I see the discontented face of my hubby while holding the broom and the dustpan...I smile and tell myself that I am still the BOSS...hahahahahaha 8 Comments

ADVENTURER AND HAPPILY MARRIED Nov 6, 2009 6:26 am 74 Views Its my second day in the ESL convention. I am going to show my new found Filipina friend around Tempe this afternoon. She asked me last night how long I have been here in AZ. I said, 1 year and 43 days to be exact. I asked why she asked. She told me that I move like one of the locals in shuttling myself in public trnsport or wherelse. Good compliment.I felt having another laurel on my head.... The truth is, I had already completed the full exploration of Arizona state. I had been to all the cities, indian reservations and counties of AZ. I love everything I saw and experienced.I also passed my Az constitution exams. Finally, I love AZ and it is truly where my heart belongs. Simply because my other half- yeah my HUSBAND is here. AZ made me complete my whole self AND THIS MY HOME. 8 Comments

PROUD FILIPINA... Nov 5, 2009 7:39 pm 70 Views I am attending the three-day International convention of ESL writers and teachers here in Arizona State University in Tempe. Researches from various parts of the world are flooding in the symposium. There is a huge number of participants coming from China, Japan, Taiwan, Korea, Malaysia but none from Phil. Since I am working with AZ Education my nametag says USA (urrggghhh). I am glad there is one DLSU professor in attendance and so happy to meet her. There are work which are truly impressive, but there are some out of nowhere researches as well. Having some backgrounds in ESL from Phil, my La Sallean companion and I can not stop ourselves in questioning the valididity of some work which brought rising eyebrows specifically, when we challenged one presenter from Purdue... Kind of weird but since we started to stir the intrigues we were forced to continue the quest which ended in almost heated discussion. Tough!! but after the event and after participated in a discourse community composed of various representative from asian countries, I understood totally why Filipino teachers can make it to the English instructions of students here in US. Linguistically, Filipinos are truly proficient in English communication compared to Asian contemporaries (purely my opinion but there is truth in it). I am always proud of the education I got from Phil. I could say that the education I got from my native country exceeds far or goes within if I compare to some of my contemporaries in any part of the world. I may have USA in nametag but I always emphasize that I am a 100% Phil trained ESL teacher. The term Philippines truly makes a difference. 10 Comments

SMART GUY MARRIES FILIPINA... Nov 4, 2009 4:43 am 95 Views I happened to read this from a foreign man's shirt. Sounds great...infact a bit flattering. However.....I can not stop myself to....become a bit skeptic too. For the sake of skepticism.... Bakit kaya? 8 Comments

MY NEW HOUSEMATE Jul 16, 2009 9:40 pm 419 Views I am blessed to have a very sweet housemate. Sleeping in my room, tagging beside me and walking with me every morning are the joyous moments of my housemate. Several people got scared with us when they met us along the way. We also attract many people and they can not stop themselves to adore my companion. Border patrol and police officers had stopped in order to ask about the identity of my partner. Showing strenght and gentleness makes my companion a bit of a celebrity in our little city. Friendliness is one of the virtues that can not be missed with this extremely beautiful and attractive companion of mine. She is my 130 lbs Tundra Wolf named "Maya". A beautiful gift from my foster dad here in US. She welcomed me in Tucson airport when I arrived last Tuesday. Every morning we walk and people call me as the Lady with a Wolf. 3 Comments

MY WONDERFUL VACATION Jul 16, 2009 9:29 pm 394 Views Finally, I am backed from my 15-day holiday or much of an adventure in LA, Stockton and San Francisco. My trip was very rewarding. I had gotten a chance to pay an unexpected visit to my former colleagues in LA and they were amazed to see me at their doorstep. The Stockton and San Francisco trips were not included in my list but I decided to give it a try when I visited my boyfriend in LAX terminal and I found out that there was no way that I can "oldnapped" him from his very busy work schedule. I did not intent also to burden him with my presence so decided to fly to San Francisco for 3 days and came on the day of his off. Things went well and I enjoyed discovering the cities and shuttling myself to buses and trains. I had this adventure while taking my online courses to complete the requirements of Arizona Department of Education for my full certification. It was also during this holiday that I received the passing result of the last of the 4 tests that the state had required me to take. Very rewarding and fulfilling. I had found the renewed strength and confidence in myself after I made my way to all the destinations that I planned to visit. I'm pretty sure that I had found again my old adventurous self. While checking myself in the Southwest counter I was smiling and the TSA personnel asked me why I got the sweetest smile. I remembered how "scaredy cat" I was when I arrived in LAX last year. Now I am blending very well with the commuters and pushing my way into the crowd as if I am one of the locals.Plus, I got one big bonus, I got 1 LAX personnel in my hook...hehehe It was amazing. However, I felt sad when I was given a chance to mingle with some Filipino caregivers who are in tourist visas who are trying their best to fill their balikbayan boxes and are working hard to send enough support to their families left in the Philippines.From this working class, I heard stories that I used to see in films like "Milan and Caregiver". It saddened me and I silently thank God for giving me a very good blessing of making my way here without experiencing those difficulties that I heard from many Filipinos during my vacation. I am also grateful that my wedding plans are not founded on the intentions of going into it because I need a valid way to get a legal status here in US or else I need to save a very good amount of money to pay my "husband" and the divorce proceedings that will come next. Most of all, I met my fiance when I felt that I am matured enough to pursue the new stage of my life. The only issue that we are going to settle now is, where are we going to stay? In LA or in AZ? I have to admit that I am already well adjusted in the ways of life here in AZ and at this time, there is no way that I can leave this state because I am bounded with my 4-year working contract. Therefore, the best way we can ever do is to enrol in the rewards program of Southwest Airlines because we both knew that we will be doing a lot of flying in the next 3 years if we decided to keep our own careers in their current locations. Whew!!! Tough but what else I can do? Smile and look longinly to the horizon as I wait for the next mystery of my daily life to unfold... Anyway, my plants had already died when I came back....15 days without water under the 110 temp....they were properly and crisply grilled when I found them again.... 3 Comments

QUESTIONS I AM SCARED TO ANSWER Jun 22, 2009 8:24 pm 478 Views Why... ...the game of life that I play with time seems to be unfair? .... I can not just let go to follow my heart and abandon the responsibility I embraced? ... I can not break my word to somebody I owed my dreams and embrace the man I love most? ... the man I dearly love knock on the doors of my heart when I can not simply say yes to the invitation? ... I choose to suffer for sake of commitment rather be happy under the grace of love? ... I have a heart filled with compassion rather than a heart filled with reason? I wanted to leave the loads I carry but I simply CAN'T. WHY? 14 Comments

IT MIGHT BE STRANGE BUT I AM SERIOUS Jun 17, 2009 11:10 pm 418 Views I am not aware that Father's Day is coming if not for my student who asked me about how Father's Day is celebrated in the Philippines. I have to admit that my answer was based on the general description of what I had seen from other families and my friend's families. Personally, I can not give a very lively account of this occassion because I have never taken this celebration seriously. I may have my biases on how I regard my parents but it doesnt mean that I dont love my dad. However, I got accustomed to how the way things are between the two of us. When I was a young girl, I was my dad's pet. Until now, I treasure in my heart those moments that I spent with him, the times when he spoke highly of me towards his friends and our weekly trips to the ice cream parlor. I had also witnessed how my dad reacted when I got hurt by one of his workers bicycle. I was his princess. Eventually, things had changed when I started to go against his will and refuted his ideals. His treats were realized that I ended working by myself in order to achieve my dreams. My dad is firm with his stands towards me. My mom can not do something to break it. I am branded as the black sheep and the brat in the whole clan.I have failed my dad's expectations for nth times already.I have trampled down his pride and smashed it into pieces. I dont know what really hurts my dad... ...maybe its the fact that of all his children, I am a woman who never scared to go against his words. Thing that none of my brothers and sisters have done... ...maybe, I have never stayed long in our home. I live like a gypsy who will only find the way home if I got problems and I need a temporary place for free board and lodging. ...maybe it is because of my Dad's wounded pride and my stubborn nature that clashes regularly that have made things complicated. All I know is----I just want to be who I am and in doing so, I have to pay the price of going against the tradition of my Patriarchal Family. I might not be very close to my dad but I always acknowledge that in my veins run his blood and most of all I am bringing his family name. As I look back to the things I have done and the accomplishments I have made, I can say that I have done better . I guess I have never deviated from my dad's expectations only I have choosen to perform in a different way. I might be crazy sometimes but I also knew that...my childhood memories of dad's love will always entitle me to the strongest claim that 'MY DAD LOVES ME DEARLY" and I LOVE HIM TOO. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL FATHERS. 4 Comments

PROBLEM OF SUMMER BREAK Jun 16, 2009 11:25 pm 446 Views Summer work is about to end and I still have a month and a half break. Enough for me to plan a trip and fix something that will give more life to my "blurring" future. Break gives me a very difficult situation and constant worry. Do not get me wrong...I love to have a break but I just can't figure out how to spend with light spirit specially that I will be out on the roads for couple of weeks. My list is done... First --- Los Angeles to pull out my friend from his work for few days. Ticket is booked already. Second --- Bullhead City, AZ, it's extremely hot down there this time but the thought of camping and jet skis in Camp Davis along Colorado River excites me. Arrangements done. Third --- Grand Canyon. Once again, I want to see the greatness of Nature's Masterpiece. Schedule confirmed. Fourth --- Flagstaff, AZ. Its more of business. I have to make some inquiries with the graduate program of North Arizona University and to register for the course on AZ state and US constitutions. Requirements for my work certification. Fifth --- Sedona, AZ to quench my curiousity of what lies within this well known place. Schedule confirmed. I got all the plans and schedules done and confirmed. However, I got one big worry ---- MY PLANTS!!! Where I am going to leave my pots of roses and gardenias? They can not survive the 100 degrees heat without enough water. I can not also leave them to die of dehydration specially that they are all in bloom. I wish there is one place that I can "board" my plants just like the pets. Hayyyyyy!!!!! Big problem.... 8 Comments

I AM ENGAGED Jun 15, 2009 11:14 pm 499 Views ....TO MY WORK.... GOOD THING, I STILL HAVE ONE 12 Comments

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