I always take my work seriously. Since I am working with some exceptional and lovable kids in our school, my time is always consumed with planning for activities that will be fun and at the same time enhance learning.
With the introduction of the new RTI program to the special education in the State of Arizona, my duties become heavier. I always long that the program in our school will be organized properly before the year ends so that the next periods will be easier.
My director kids me that the only time he can talk to me is if he can kidnapped me after work. I am not a typical workaholic but the demands of my duties call me to do so.
Despite of my super busy schedule, I am not a nerd who is not sensitive to whats going on specially with my co workers in our level.Its only that most of the time, I refuse to notice it.
I am not also a dumb who can not interpret the actions directed to me but I maintain the level that I am on the standard of what my job and my status demand me to be.
I am not snob. I laugh and exchange jokes with my associates still I notice the hesitation they have for me. I got one male associate who is fond of throwing me some Spanish words which he thought I don't comprehend. I knew also that whenever he is talking with our school nurse, its about me.
He is just one hesitant guy who wanted to ask me for a date but he can't find the courage to say it.
Before our thanksgiving holiday, I saw him sitting outside our building. He smiled and remained silent.
I threw him my keys and said; can you go out with me tonight?
I was laughing while walking towards my car.Off we went for a glass of wine before going home.
I am a typical Filipina but sometimes its nice to let people know that I can just go simultaneously and cautiously. Nothing personal.
The biting cold of the lowering temperature can not deny that Christmas is just around the corner. The streets across my apartment are already decorated with Christmas lights and lanterns and waiting for the official opening of the City Christmas Parade on the 6th of December.
Its my first Christmas away from home. I am wondering with anticipation what might be the Christmas like in this part of the world. Several of my co-workers are asking me about my plans. I do not know yet. I want to come home but when I checked on the airfare, I decided that it's not a practical decision. I have to stay and endure the biting colds of winter in its literal and figurative sense.
I miss home. I never felt homesick for the past few months of my stay here but with the culmination of advent, I realized that there are so many things I long to experience. They are not available here.
I went to the first advent Sunday mass this morning and I observed that only few people were coming to the mass.Mostly, elderly who are trying to please God during their remaining years on Earth. I saw few kids and youths with their parents but not alone or with friends.
I miss the Sunday masses in the Philippines where church is overflowing with people kids, youths and adults---alone, with friends and with families.
I miss the joyous blend of peoples' voices as they sung with the choir the lined up hymns for the celebration.
I miss the elated excitement of the congregation while waiting for the priest to light the first candle on the advent wreath.
Most of all, I miss the commands of my mom hurrying us for the very early mass schedule.
Advent is a joyous preparation and waiting for the coming of Jesus. My community before who busied themselves for the preparation of the Christmas spirit to be shared with other members had turned to the community of fast and fancy environment of Christmas decorations and fashions.
This is my first coldest Christmas in the Land of Milk and Honey
Have a fruitful and progressive weekdays to everyone.
Thursday and Friday are the days that I considered as my Sahara. Kids are getting restless and out of focus. No one minds anyone. In my classroom things could really gotten worst.
Screaming, arguing and hitting kids run to and fro. I had tried all sorts of strategies to put things in order yet nothing had happened. I was so frustrated and the thread of my patience was getting thine. I kept counting 1-10 to calm myself. I reminded myself that getting mad would turned my kids winners in this battle of wills and wits.
I rung my bell, came near the screaming kids and confiscated several toys just to make them listen to our lesson. Nothing!!!
Finally, I decided that the situation was hopeless. I extended my arms sideward and gathered all the air in my lungs and yelled to the top of my voice the crispy echo of SSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTOOOOOPPPPPP!!!! all the 17 set of eyes were looking at me in surprised.....suddenly, I started moving my waist while my arms were extended and continued to sing spice girls', STOP RIGHT NOW,THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I NEED SOMEBODY WITH HUMAN TOUCH...........
I felt good and my surprised kids turned very silent while staring at me.
I took a bow and continued with my lesson. No one messed up in the class and I was able to finish my lesson and had achieved my objectives. When the bell rung, one of my 7th graders approached me to ask if I am okey.....
Part of my early morning assignment is to oversee kids during their breakfast.Its the assignment that calls for a real challenge.
First, I am struggling with my Spanish (inshort, TRYING HARD). Some of our kids in preschool do not speak any English word at all. So, I always end up with body language to inform them that they need to hurry up for they have been spending too much time playing around than eating their meals.
Second, its really difficult to let some of these spoiled brats to understand that its already time for the first period and they cant stay the whole day weeping for they do not like milk.
Third, the fact that I cant turn my back from the kids even in a single minute because they will end up stabbing each with a disposable fork or throwing pancakes to each other's faces is really a punishment.
I really do not like Tuesdays and Thursday (all teachers do not like it too). I can not also understand why the director had given me a two-day assignment in this area.
One morning, I was yelling to the top of my lungs just to let everyone out of the cafeteria on time.It was really a terrible day. I thought, I was going to let go of my sanity.
I was so furious while I was looking for my assistant to take charge of our brood. Suddenly, I saw a little girl crying at the back of the screen door. She does not know English. No one will translate for me for everyone had ran out already. The cafeteria personel only speaks Spanish too. Thanks to my Ilongo blood, I was able to understand that she was crying for no one wanted her for a friend.
I felt sorry. Out of instinct and frustration, I embraced the girl and she embraced me very tightly too. She was crying so unconsolably.I was really amazed by her reaction. I felt her heightened fear for being alone.I forgot that I was mad and frustrated. I brought her to her classroom with the assurance that I will come to see her daily because we are friends.
Yesterday, she came to my room. She gave me her drawing. Its a heart with I LOVE YOU MISS.
Her lips were sealed with a sweet innocent smile. She kissed me and left.
Living near the border gives me more chances to observe the daily activities of life. Some, I am seeing in actual and some, I am hearing from my pupils.
As a whole, things are really challenging. Everyone and everything , has reason. It was a bit confusing on my part.It made my transition and adjustment a bit difficult. However, my daily association with my kids helps me to find a better place for myself.
I learn that trust is the hardest thing to establish in the new environment where I am now. It is the factor that makes things difficult for me and my students. The experiences they got lead them to keep their trust tightly.
Honestly, I got the same dilemma. Granting that I am alone in this place, I found myself in the midst of doubt by questioning the motives behind everyones action. I literally drown myself in the deep abyss of confusion. I struggled.
I was glad that, my curiousity had brought me to the other side of the WALL. I got a chance to witness the kind of life across the line. I was really amazed that the shortest distance from my abode an entirely different world is hidden. I saw the struggles that some of my kids have been enduring daily while crossing the line in order to go to school.
I changed my views. I end up embracing the real spirit that makes me strong to fulfill my vocation.
The genuine LOVE and CONCERN for the young people who choose to be with me daily. I turned my classroom into a home where they can find the real worth of their lives. I treied to make a difference. I journeyed with them. I am glad, things have started to change....I get the trust I long from them. Everyday, I am seeing an entirely different thing unfolded right within my eyes. The trust that coming out and the hope that someday they could make a difference.
I am happy. I am not a teacher anymore but I am also a learner.
I got the fulfillment in the little events that my kids have been doing daily. There are marks of hesitations sometimes but the attempt is always there.
On Saturday (Nov. 1), I will be crossing the line again. This time, upon the invitation from some of my kids. I will be joining them in one of the big Mexican celebrations. The Dias de los Muertos. I am glad, they finally open their hearts for me to come in----and I do the same too.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! Got a really bad day in work....Anyway, heres my bad day consolation that keeps me bouncing back...
I Am Nature’s Greatest Miracle By Og Mandino
Since the beginning of time never has there been another with my mind, my heart, my eyes, my hands, my hair, my mouth. None that came before, none that live today, and none that comes tomorrow can walk and talk and move and think exactly like me. All men are my brothers yet I am different from each. I am a unique creature.
Although, I am of the animal kingdom, animal rewards alone will not satisfy me. Within me burns a flame which has been passed from generations uncounted and its heat is a constant irritation to my spirit to become better than I am, and I will. I will fan this flame of dissatisfaction and proclaim my uniqueness to the world.
I am a unique creature of nature. I am rare, and there is value in all rarity; therefore, I am valuable. I am the end-product of thousands of years of evolution; therefore, I am better equipped in both mind and body that all the emperors and wise men who preceded me.
But my skills, my mind, my heart, and my body will stagnate, rot, and die lest I put them to good use. I have unlimited potential.
Nevermore will I be satisfied with yesterday’s accomplishments, nor will I indulge anymore, in self-praise for deed which in reality are too small to even acknowledge. I can accomplish far more than I have, and I will, for why should the miracle which produced me end with my birth? Why can I not extend that miracle to my deeds of today?
I am not on this earth by chance. I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.
I have been given eyes to se and a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise. I will no longer be fooled by the garments they wear for mine eyes are open. I will look beyond the cloth and I will not be deceived.
No beast, no plant, no wind, no rock, no lake had the same beginning as I, for I was conceived in love and brought forth with a purpose.
And nature knows not defeat. Eventually, she emerges victorious and so will I, and with each victory the next struggle becomes less difficult.
I will win for I am unique. I am nature’s greatest miracle
I arrived in the US of A 15 days ago. I stayed in LA for 1 day and did my first interstate drive down here in Arizona. I am appointed to start my duty with Sta. Ana County Board of Education.
My place is an hour away from Tucson. The day I stepped into Nogales, I was automatically faced with many concerns of my job. I do not have time to know what jetlag was and not even given a chance to peep whats around me.It was because I am 1 month late to my appointment.
I tried to balance myself and to the new place where I am now. The cultural difference and the arrangement with my apartment. My administrator arranged my accomadation to be shared with an Indian teacher and I found it very difficult to be with her because of the kind of culture she got. With her presence, I learned the functional meaning of HUMILITY.I am also seeing daily the truth behind the lines of little learning is a dangerous thing.
Meantime, I am trying to consume the one month free accomodation that is given to me and I am looking forward to the time when I can move to my own place.
Working in an environment where the mixture of Asian culture is sometimes very tiring. I am also amazed to discover that crab mentality does not only stand true among Filipinos but also among other Asian cultures. They even displayed it in a worse situation to the point of destroying one's reputation for the desire of making a best personal image.
I do not want to compete. In the first place, I am appointed to my position due to my expertise and my appointment is directly given by the board to me and it is not through any placement agencies in the country.
I just pitied these people who pretend to be somebody even if the fact that they are nobody is very clear.
Whew!!!! I got nasty experiences but above all, I am glad that I am given this chance to prove my worth in an entirely different environment.
Maybe in the near future, if I am already settled well, I will give this little creepers here a crispy "shut up".
My boyfriend had been showing me around the araneta center in Cubao when I saw the scheduled PBA game between Air21 and Ginebra San Miguel. I tried my luck by asking him if we could watch the game. He looked at me with a very funny expression. Oh my!!!I am very much familiar with that expression and I can clearly predict what will come next...
Before we left, we agreed to watch the "Dark Night"at Getway cineplex and he emphasized that we cant stay late. I had to be on the first flight bound for Davao on the next morning. He was also leaving for Aparri in line with his job.
I used all my convincing powers for him to say yes to what I wanted.I smiled, looked at him with all sorts of look (puppy eyed, seductive glance, tiger look and innocent stare) and my ace, gave him the sweetest kiss, I had ever known. He raised his arms to surrender. I got the widest smile ever as we heeded towards the Big Dome.
On our way, he kept on reminding me of my flight and the 2 hours advance that I needed to wake up.
I just kept smiling. He was silent and pressed me lightly on my shoulder. We walked silently. I kissed him and said thank you. We burst into laugher. We got the same thought in our mind.
If the same situation happened few years back, we would surely launch a fight in order to declare the winner.
We had outgrown those moments. We learn when to speak and how to listen. We also have a better understanding of ourselves. Our relationship is not perfectly smooth but we can make allowances for accommodating each other.
Ours is more of making the most of our time spent together because we seldom have the luxury of having it always. We dont want to waste our little time with arguments. I am also glad that my bf is a type of man who will speak out his mind to me if he is happy, contented, sad, pissed off or jealous.
I can say that, our love is more mature now. Indeed, love is more tender the second time around...
Ohhh....what about the PBA? My team won, his lost...and I got a cone of Cornetto as my winning prize.
. He raised his arms to surrender. I got the widest smile ever as we heeded towards the Big Dome.
