LaUgHteR is ThE bEsT MeDiCiNe2 Oct 8, 2005 8:08 pm 631 Views ESTUDYANTE: Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500, estudiante! Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa estudiante. Bugaw: Meron din, sir. Ang PRINCIPAL, okey yun! AFTER THE WEDDING: Husband: Sinungaling ka, sabi mo virgin ka! Bakit kagabi maluwag na! Wife: Ulol ka! Dahil lasing ka, katabi mo kagabi si mama! PAMBOBOSO: Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko! Inay: Bastos 'yun ah! Ano'ng ginawa mo? Anak: Hinubad ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di nya makita! PROMOTION: Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang humaharap sa korte ko ah! Swindler: Your Honor, di ko kasalanan kung hindi po kayo ma-promote. AMPON: Anak: 'Nay, tinutukso po ako ng kalaro ko na anak ako sa labas! Nanay: Hindi totoo 'yan, anak. Ang sabihin mo sa kanila, ampon ka! ANG SULAT: Patient: Dok, malungkot dito sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang sarili ko... Doc: E ano naman ang laman ng sulat mo? Patient: Di ko pa po alam kasi next wik ko pa ata matatangap... LIIT NAMAN: Wife: Honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra... Husband: Hon.. wag ka nang magbra...liit naman dede mo e.. Wife: E ba't ikaw, naka-brief!? DOWNY: GIRL: Ang puti naman ng bird mo... BOY: Aba, syempre ah! Likas papaya ata gamit ko diyan! GIRL: Ginagamitan m o rin ba ng Downy? BOY: Baket? Bango ba? GIRL: Lambot eh!!! HIDE AND SEEK: GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. If you find me, papayag akong makipag-sex sa 'yo... BOY: Eh, kung di kita makita? GIRL: Nasa likod lang ako ng piano... MADRE: dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons.... Madre 1: Jusko, patawarin mo po sila...hindi nila nalalaman ang kanilang ginagawa! Madre2: Ay, yung sa akin marunong!!!! RAPE SUSPEK: ATTY: Inday, pwede mo bang idiskrayb dito sa korte ang taong nangreype sa 'yo? INDAY: Maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong, at bungal... SUSPEK: Sige!...mang-asar ka pa!!!! __________________________________________________ JPEG: Mr. Kenkoy 2 Comments

LaUgHteR is ThE bEsT MeDiCiNe1 Oct 8, 2005 8:05 pm 818 Views IBANG POSISYON: Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight? Wife: Thats a good idea dear!... doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv. PINOY INGENUITY? A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a man's sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a magnifying glass. VIBRATING CELLPHONE: Mrs: Bilis! Nahulog cellphone ko sa loob ng panty ko, "nagbavibrate." Mr: E, anong gagawin ko? Dudukutin ko ba sa loob ng panty mo? Mrs: Gago! Kunin mo yung charger, baka ma-low batt! REGALO: Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni Pare ang birthday gift mo, ah... Mrs: Oo nga, 7 months na, di pa rin ginagamit. Mare: Bakit, ano ba regalo mo sa kanya? Mrs: Memorial Plan. KRIMINAL: KRIMINAL 1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?" KRIMINAL 2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito, wala parin siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya... SI GINO: LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kape ko. APO: 'lo, Gina po. LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kutchara. APO: 'lo, Gina po. LOLO: Punyeta ka, Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo! TUTPIK: Kustomer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang, ang dali pang mabali! Waiter (inis): Alam nyo, sir, ang dami nang gumamit nyan, pero kayo lang nakabali! CONFIDENT VS CONFIDENTIAL: Anak: Itay, ano ang kaibahan ng confident sa confidential? Itay: Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bespren mong si Tikboy, anak ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan. FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES: Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies"? Nanay: Aba, oo. Tignan mo yang tatay mo, hangga ngayon, buhay pa ang animal! SUKO SA MISTER: Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago niroromansa... Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang niroromansa. PAGOD DAW..... Mrs: Ano ba? Two days na tayong kasal, 'la pa rin. Mr: Kasi pagod ako. Mrs: Sige ka, pag ayaw mo, maghahanap ako ng lalaki. Mr: Sige, gawin mong dalawa, tig isa tayo! PARI AT MADRE: Pari: Sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kukunin ko lang toothbrush ko... Sister: Sandali, naka-panty lang ako. Pari: Ok, antay ako. Sister: Pasok na, wala na akong panty! JPEG: Mr. Kenkoy 2 Comments

i CaRrY yoUR HeARt WiTh Me..... Oct 8, 2005 1:34 pm 639 Views i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear not fate(for you are my fate,my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) by ee cummings This for my Family, my Beloved. They are the most important part in my life and the best piece therein ever. photo: The Light of Our Life taken by me LaPaz, Tarlac, Philippines 6 Comments

Biblical Theme Songs Oct 8, 2005 10:24 am 603 Views Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus: "The Second Time Around" Esther: "I Feel Pretty" Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Moses: "The Wanderer" Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp" Samson: "Hair"Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night" Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" Esau: "Born To Be Wild" Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!" The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star" Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale" Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away" Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive" Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy" BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Adapted 2 Comments

CoLLiDe............. Oct 8, 2005 9:58 am 637 Views Collide* /ko-lid'/, v.i. to come together with a great force, clash Collide... A small word but with a big impact. A big bang!!! I came to reflect on this word when a great friend of mine send me the song entitled "Collide". Funny its seems but when i start to read the lyrics, im reading me; not my bio but a glimpse perhaps of my entirety. Collide.... We meet a bunch of people in the entire course of our life but there are those who make a great impression there. They usually leave a mark in our life. Some may go, some stay, some just hanging there. They come into your life and your life would never be the same without them. Some may just be memories but worth reminiscing. Collide.... Our life have lots of moments, but there are those that adheres. They may be good or bad,they may make us euphoric or they may have leave us broken. But these moments are those that make us believe. Encourage us to spread our wings and explore. Survive and embrace life with arms open wide. Collide... Angels come when your low and down. They come crashing down on earth. They come unexpectedly, out of the blue. Help you pick up the mess and your life and rebuild it to a better and new you. Collide.... God's love, blessings, miracles "Collide" The dawn is breaking A light shining through You're barely waking And I'm tangled up in you Yeah I'm open, you're closed Where I follow, you'll go I worry I won't see your face Light up again Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills my mind I somehow find You and I collide I'm quiet you know You make a first impression I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind Even the best fall down sometimes Even the stars refuse to shine Out of the back you fall in time I somehow find You and I collide Don't stop here I lost my place I'm close behind Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills your mind You finally find You and I collide You finally find You and I collide You finally find You and I collide To all the people that I come in contact with and leave a mark therein, a rainbow or a small dash of color, a bruise or even a major wound, a small swish or a big swoossshh. I'm glad our world collide!! photo: Staring Towards the Horizon taken by me, Port St. Lucie, Florida 5 Comments

Fave Christian Pick-up Lines!!! Oct 8, 2005 7:43 am 566 Views Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry.” How about dinner? You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither. Is it a sin that you stole my heart? Yeah I predicted David over Goliath.I didn't believe in predestination till I met you. What do YOU think? Will it be the flood or the fire next time? Am I the only one who sees the sign of the beast in the Volkswagon logo? Could you come and pull this mote out of my eye? Hi. Your name must be Grace because you are AMAZING! Adapted photo: Flowers and Bees taken by me, South Dakota 1 comment

A LiFe oF PraYeRS!!! Oct 3, 2005 1:50 am 603 Views The power of prayers is manifested in my life. My prayers does not contain "God give me all i want and wish for" but "God, Thy will be done!" God do hear our prayers. I 'm proud to admit that i'm a living testimony that prayers do work. Try it!! On Prayers: ~*~ "Prayer should be the key of the day and the lock of the night"-- George Herbert ~*~ " Prayer is not designed to inform God, but to give man a sight of his misery; to humble his heart, to excite his desire, to inflame his faith, to animate his hope, to raise his soul from earth to heaven"--Adam Clarke photo: The Way taken by me, South Dakota 23 Comments

Photographs And Memories Oct 3, 2005 1:14 am 586 Views One of my passion is photography. My friends call me a "clicker". I love to capture the beauty of this world, colors, events and moments worth catching and be develop in photo papers. It may not be the same as the real thing or a firsthand experience perhaps; but a great medium for memory storage. Making memories more colorful and vivid, a great way to remisnesce. Great Song! Photographs And Memories Jim Croce Photographs and memories Christmas cards you sent to me All that I have are these To remember you Memories that come at night Take me to another time Back to a happier day When I called you mine CHORUS: But we sure had a good time When we started way back when Morning walks and bedroom talks Oh how I loved you then Summer skies and lullabies Nights we couldn't say good-bye And of all of the things the we knew Not a dream survived Photographs and memories All the love you gave to me Somehow it just can't be true That's all I've left of you (Repeat Chorus) photo: Me and my Canon Powershoot A95 6 Comments

ThE SeCreT oF My StRenGtH!! Oct 3, 2005 12:33 am 542 Views " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13 photo: Me Ready to Take on LIfe 2 Comments

I am A Fairy!!! Sep 29, 2005 5:42 pm 558 Views I adapted this from the thread Fairies in Paradise in DP. A brainchild by Sis Acie and Sis Myla. This is my codename and profile. What do you think guys? Isn't this cool?? NAME: Fairy Rainbow NICKNAME: Iris ALIAS: Ice BIRTH: gazzillion years ago ANCESTRY: part Titan, part Nymph, part Goddess,part human DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: a beautiful maiden, with wings of gold and robes of bright colors and a halo of light on her head, trailing across the sky with a rainbow in her wake; rapid as the storm-winds, known as the faithful and swift-footed; hurries with the swiftness of the wind from one end of the world to the other, into the bottom of the sea and the depths of the underworld. ATTRIBUTES: caduceus and a golden cup COSTUME: short tunic, winged golden sandals,beautiful robe of many colors CAREER color] messenger of God(someone that bring messages from Heaven to earth); peacekeeper; adviser; guide; healer; prayer warrior POWERS: deliverer of justice,love,joy,color and light; spirit cleanser; builder of faith. EFFECT ON PEOPLE: Ones known "Unforgetable"!!! MAGIC WAND: Unicorn hair, Willow, 9 inches ( granted to me by mighty Aeon) CHANT: Colors here and colors there; showering colors everywhere Red, orange, yellow, green Violet, indigo and blue; colors abound in beautiful hue!!! Artwork: Fairy 6 Comments

 icebeth

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