MEETING WITH HER...MS DREAMLOVE452 Sep 9, 2009 8:37 pm 992 Views She called me up once, it was a good surprise to be hearing from her, for calling up my mobile telephone. We talked for a long time, something that I half-expected to last that much. She was so sweet and full of respect for me, that I can only FEEL withdrawn that someone could be like that to me, We have been only exchanging hellos online in this site, particularly in the blog and group section. She too is a FEELer, one truly certified member of my group, who I have already seen in person. Ms. O came home last month, she had to make one short vacation and stay in the province because her mother was sick. When she arrived she texted me and we were supposed to meet the following day, but unfortunately I was vacationing in Libon, Albay that time. So, she invited for another meet a day before she is scheduled to go and fly back to her work station. That was sometimes 3rd week of August. We met at SM North EDSA and we had lunch, her generous treat, together with my daughter, Sarah and a granddaughter of mine. She brought this one beautiful bag for me and I was too embarrassed to return it only with one Philippine-made tanned wallet. Her gesture was way magnanimous unexpectedly, I could only blurt my thanks and give her wonderful, loving hugs. But mostly it was also a way to convey, appreciated meeting a sweet and loving friend, who I used to talked to, only through the internet. 10 Comments

HIBERNATION TIME Sep 6, 2009 6:45 pm 1315 Views I have not been as prolific writing lately, so I will have to go on hibernation, meanwhile, until I can find good reasons to be creating, composing and whatever it takes to be writing again. I need to hack inspirations, to be doing this again, truly. It's not to say I have lost the skill, but I have lost the drive, somewhat! I haven't changed though, only with this attitude of feeling lethargic because am aging. 34 Comments

WHAT'S NEW? Sep 4, 2009 9:55 pm 1005 Views A good question to ask! If I ask you,would you be able to say something new? If you ask me, I would like to say something new to you, but I can't either. Now, does that mean you and I have gotten stagnant? stale already? Nothing new, nothing as exciting, nothing different. Voila! It could only mean my life and yours have gone BORING. Lately, I can't even write. I have not been finding some push nor the drive to scribble neither tap the keyboard away like I used to. I thought life should be getting more interesting and meaningful, that I could be writing about it endlessly. Maybe, it's time to get out of what I call my dailies. Perhaps, time to be getting busy in a different scale and finding something to make me target what I like. I could be tired confined at home. I could be also thinking of others too much, forgetting about myself along the way. This feeling of monotony is somehow eating me. Now, am remembering, I have only myself, eventually. There is the mall to frequent at, the friends to meet for coffee and functions or activities to attend, even. I got to have something else in addition to what I am doing now. It could be some change of ways, or even another ambiance to speak of. Something that I can consider not my usual ritual. This got to happen before I freak out, before I can say I have totally abandoned what's outside of me. HELP! 23 Comments

ON GETTING OLD...AND OLDER! Sep 4, 2009 2:48 am 910 Views It's just a few more years before I step on that senior citizen rank. Next month, I'll be about two years away from the ladder's peak. I will soon be part of the privileged minority, who can avail of discounts from business establishments, who gets to see a free movie during first hour showings every Mondays and Tuesdays of the week, or who doesn't have to line up for that long queue elsewhere. Good Lord! I am able to find my special partner, before I get into that age, for who would even dare give me a second look or thought, with all the connotations attached to one who's a senior citizen. It could mean that am frail and weak of faculties, also that I could be forgetful even without an alzheimer's illness. But of course, am not discounting the fact that my heart has had its tolls already, but still I got blessed having it mended, before I found someone, who came running away with it. Can you imagine a damaged heart loving at this time? On second thoughts, it could also be added or more years for me, by the fact, that I can get to exercise better, with that breath-in, breath-out function. The stresses get to be avoided with that great feeling of happiness and peace. Or say you that I have become wiser or smarter. However, there is that part, when I can become repetitive, insistent and sometimes stubborn for the things I want done and have. So who wants to get old? Even if they say age is just numbers, I would opt to cut say ten or more years from my existing age, to find love and life more beautiful and wonderful with this special someone, by my side. It's a prize and a price to have getting old..and older. 25 Comments

FROM IRELAND IT CAME WITH LOVE Jul 29, 2009 3:11 am 1477 Views It all started with a challenge by "madboutcakes" to bring me to USA for the next FEELers EB (through his blog entitled pass the hat around FEELers, a privilege for the Moderator to be with his group mates, according to him. Pledges came from the FEELers, but there is this problem for me to get a visitor's visa above anything else. Madboutcakes or simply mad, asked me to bring him home this I LOVE SAN FRANCISCO tee shirt, in case, I can get to join the FEELer's EB there, come October of this year. But Marivic aka ladylike39115 was quick to respond and say she can just give mad this requested tee shirt, provided she be given where to mail it. So mad instead asked her to give it to me, where and when I can in turn, hand it over to him, when he decides to come home for a visit to the Philippines. There were FEELers coming home this month and I had this itch to ask them to bring me the I LOVE tee shirts that mad wanted. My request got granted right now, I have this one piece of "I LOVE IRELAND" tee, courtesy of Phoebe aka True_Blu22, which am proud to show in a picture here, because Phoebe was generous and kind enough to send it via LBC, when we didn't get to meet in Manila when she arrived, last week. So Phoebe, on behalf of mad, thank you so much! Your "I LOVE IRELAND" tee, is what I can call a "buena mano" gift and collection that I am having and will soon give to mad, when we see each other, in the near future. I hope nobody ask me when exactly this will happen. Only mad knows when. In the meantime, I have started this collection of I LOVE (from wherever) tee, to turn them over to mad when I see him in person. Tell me it's not an impossible dream, please. 18 Comments

THE MAN IN MY DREAMS SERIES Jul 27, 2009 3:54 pm 1040 Views PART TWO – A TRANQUIL AFTERNOON AT THE SEASIDE I have this penchant for strolling along the beach during afternoons that I can be home early from school, sometimes just to smell the saline air of the sea. The waves that come to shore seem to bring the breeze and blow it forward to kiss my face. Then I would welcome the splash of the tide with my right foot, tossing the waters back as if trying to stop its surge to the seashore. I would do that several times, plus kicking the seawaters as high as I could. It was such a good feeling to be carefree, not to have a single worry at all. When I can get tired doing my routines playing like that, I would just slump down sitting and then catch with my hands the roll of the tide towards me. Sometimes, I can get to pick up an extraordinary seashell, thinking it could still be alive and then raise it with my hand to scrutinize closer how unusual it can get. “You like to appreciate the beauty of things that you can hold?” This was a question that startled me. It came from the same man, I found myself enjoying talks with the other night at the park. He suddenly showed up and was sitting a bit behind me and was looking at some distance towards the direction where I had myself sitting.“Did you ever bother to know that these creatures you marvel at have their purposes in this world? They not only give beauty to fit into a place, but they also render protection to that surroundings, either to secure what is small against what is big, or to camouflage themselves when preyed upon, so they can live longer to keep providing what is beautiful. But not all would be good protectors, there are some created to destroy and disturb, too. It is like showing us the two forces making up in our world, what is good and what is bad.” Innocent as I was to what he was telling me, I suddenly thought of this question to ask, “Are creatures in our world made for dual purposes, that is, they either give a benefit or an advantage, but at the same time they give what can also be destructive?” The man was looking a bit sultry and pensive, this time. While he was looking afar, he managed to say, “One is born to have two sides, one that is good and the other that is evil. These forces play themselves as protagonists, where each would try to outdo the other.” I then threw another question at the man, so I said, “If I am said to be having both forces of good and evil within me, how can anyone tell and say that I am a better good than a worst evil or a worst good than a better evil? How will my behaviour show that I can have both and that either one of them wants to dominate me?" The man continued to say,“Each person evolves, from the time one is born to the time he dies. That is a continuing process of growing. For each of the cycle that composes a man’s life, there are many lessons learned and imbibed. But man alone does not live within his own context. He relates with others around him. It is during his relationship with others, with people around him including to everything surrounding him, that he learns what is the better good and the worst evil. These will manifest with the way he interacts with the people around him and with his surroundings, as well. His conscience will teach him what is good and what is bad, so it’s up to him to know which side to pick on. “I guess when I see something beautiful, I ought to preserve it. It will be more to my advantage if I do because that attitude will pervade what is good. If everyone will understand that the way I understood it, then all things created beautiful will remain beautiful forever.” I was about to tell him these thoughts but when I turned to look from my behind where he sat, I lost him. He was nowhere to be seen again. (to be continued) Copyright 28/07/2009 fantasiamore. All rights preserved. 0 Comments

WHAT IS REAL FRIENDSHIP? Jul 25, 2009 9:36 am 1401 Views Would you really have to know everything by heart about this friend and would he need to do so about you in return to be called his friend? Isn't it enough that you find yourself having the right happiness when he could be around for you? Or would it be about remembering what will make him happy, and making him happy will make you happy enough? Is it more important to be first in his priority list or you could be the least, yet he makes sure he is not forgetting you altogether? Or would you have yourself categorized as someone who does not belong to his circle but has a special circle for you, when with you? Sometimes we forget he can always be there whenever, and he adjusts himself when he cannot, because you are important to him, does your friend feel the same way? Maybe, he feels differently about you but he will not cross the line of friendship with you because he is afraid, if he crosses the line, there maybe mistaken meaning and friendship is soon lost between you. Would you be one friend like this? Could he be just this someone watching you, guiding you and advising you all the time? What could he be more than what is real to you? Copyright 25/07/2009 fantasiamore. All rights reserved. 16 Comments

WHAT ARE SMALL BITS? Jul 25, 2009 7:33 am 1266 Views SMALL BITS are nothing if they don't mean anything. SMALL BITS are worthless because they're not given importance. SMALL BITS are thought of as small because they don't count. SMALL BITS are not pains because it can not draw harm. BUT SMALL BITS taken collectively soon gets to become big. BUT SMALL BITS when remembered can be very priceless. BUT SMALL BITS can be hurting because it will also be about pains. BUT SMALL BITS will make a whole and can never be without it. BUT SMALL BITS will make a big difference despite it small. Copyright 25/07/2009 fantasiamore. All rights reserved. 6 Comments

THE MAN IN MY DREAMS Jul 25, 2009 2:04 am 1211 Views There is this man I met many years ago and till recently, he fills my dreams but he never lingered beyond a few talks that we’d normally do. He comes and goes and sits with me, sometimes to listen, then tells me many wonderful things that made me keyed-in so much to our conversation. One night, he stopped being in my dreams and I started missing him. The last look I remembered about him, he was happy and was holding my hand but it was like a bid saying he wouldn’t return anymore. PART ONE- A QUIET NIGHT AT THE PARK I remember sitting alone on a cold cemented bench at the park during this particular night. The draft seeping was enough to send me chilling, even catching colds, but I wasn’t even wary. All I wanted was to be alone, be with myself and think things over. I must have been as pensive with my own thoughts, making me half-oblivious where I was, then I heard this someone who gave me a whisper. He said, “Good evening, young lady! It looks like we have another cold, lonely and long night ahead.” He brought me back to my senses. I was just too resistant to even bother look at him. I replied back casually to answer his greet. But, I did it only out of utmost courtesy for someone, who is much elder than I was. He must have felt I found his greet such an unwelcome remark or that he must have noticed, I was too enslaved to my own thoughts. But because there is no other bench left for sharing at the park that time, he asked if he could sit beside me. I graciously moved towards the left-end portion of the bench, so he could inch his way to the bench and sit as comfortably, as I had sat on it. I gazed at his face and he had this certain meek expression and a very docile manner of talking. I felt that I was not in any danger sitting beside a stranger. He also had a tranquil countenance although his ragged clothing would give him away as someone who must have been strained and bailed out from life, recently. But his smile was more than friendly. He had these involuntary quirks in both hands, but I can only surmise, he must have acquired them from his many hard toils and struggles in life. He must have been in his late sixties, having sparse salt and pepper hair, looking shabby with his beard still unshaven. I noticed he felt quite cold and the mold smelling, old-fashioned cardigan, he was wearing was not enough to keep him warm. “Sometimes, it pays to be quiet alone. You are able to assess the many things that have happened around you, for whatever it can be about. The silence allows you to think as much, but they could only be thoughts and nothing to change them,” he said in a stride to have a conversation with me. “I was probing deeply on what happened this morning. I had a terse argument with Mother and Father. They always wanted me to give way to my younger siblings. It is as if I have no right to any thing I want and need! I am feeling that, I need always to give way for my brothers. I am an only daughter and I should be spoiled and given attention and preference, at all time,” came my explanation, so as not to leave him pondering why I was there alone in the park and just sitting, with thoughts so far away. “I too, was an only son, but unlike you I was very much pampered. I had all things at my beckon. There wasn’t anything that wasn’t given to me whenever I asked and whenever I needed anything” came his reply. “But not until I lost my parents, did I realize that their showering me with everything I needed and wanted, wasn’t all about their love for me, but it also moulded me into having this weakness and frailty, that made me unprepared and even unfit to fight my struggles in this world, without them. I became so dependent on them. I had thought they will always be around forever to take care of me and my needs. When they died in an accident before I even entered my college years, I wasn’t ready meeting the challenges of life, acting and being alone.” “You see it is not always, that because you are the only daughter or son in the family, that all things should turn special for you. No one is a special child, you can only be special because you are the child of your parents and no one else is.” Yes, his argument sank well in my head. But there was still this disappointment that left me sulking and with a stubborn understanding. I still couldn’t comprehend why I need to give way for my other siblings. So I asked, “Is it really wrong to press for something I know is rightfully my privilege?” “It is not always a right to be right, dear child. Sometimes your feeling for something that is right may not be the right one at all. It may not be the right attitude to think and do, nor even the right behaviour to have at all.” he said this so strikingly, but only left me in further awe trying to assimilate what he wanted imparted. “But, when will I have the right to be right in that case?” I just needed to ask that. “Dear child, what your parents are doing is not because you aren’t important at all to them. They always have a good reason why they have to do that which you don’t approve of. It’s not always because you are not being favored or that they don’t understand your needs at all. It will always be for a better cause or reason that suits the situation. One day, you too, will become this parent and you will realize which is a greater weight to do and you will remember what I tell you right now.” I had more to ask but the striking sunlight shone upon my face and the feel of warmness from the sun’s rays made me opened my eyes. It was past seven o’clock in the morning, when my eyes wandered to locate the alarm clock to find out what time it was. I needed to get up and take a bath as it was time to head for school. (To be continued) Copyright 25/07/2009 fantasiamore. All rights reserved. 2 Comments

SHARING WITH OTHERS Jul 15, 2009 7:17 pm 946 Views When I read this I thought of you I will say they make up what is true What could defeats, struggles and losses mean They consist our lives not only beautiful dreams One keeps having and learning these simple truths We pass them on as good lessons to our youths There is this balance in life that we understand Nothing will be in good spoils alone without plan Compassion and concern for others good beginnings Sensitivity to the world to make deeds outstanding. Copyright 15/07/2009 fantasiamore. All rights reserved. 6 Comments

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