FUNNIEST QOUTES
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Posted:Aug 16, 2006 10:25 am
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2006 9:57 pm 4242 Views
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If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
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I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
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Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
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Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
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Save water.
Shower with your girl/boy friend.
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Love thy neighbor.
But don't get caught.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
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Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
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in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause
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"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
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"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk !
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"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours !
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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
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When two's company,
three's the result !
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A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view
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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
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GENDER RELATED
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Posted:Aug 16, 2006 10:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2024 4:50 am 4077 Views
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You may not know this but many non-living things have a gender.
1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see
right through them.
2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm
them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have
to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
 An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom.
9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000
years, but it's handy to have around.
10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you?
But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying
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DAILY INSPIRATION
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Posted:Aug 16, 2006 9:28 am
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2006 10:41 am 4107 Views
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Who Cares...
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Unless someone like you cares a whole lot, nothing is going to get better.
It's not.
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Change begins, from the heart of someone who cares. Too often, we get so
lost in our own needs, and our own wants, that we take little time to concern
ourselves with those of others. We say we don't want to get involved, it's
not really our problem, or we convince ourselves that we couldn't possibly
make a difference in the situation. All of these, are simply excuses for not
caring enough to help. We MUST come to recognize, that all of our lives are
intricately intertwined, and that what happens to one, effects us all. The
truth of the matter is, when we DO develop an attitude of caring, and for
serving the needs of others above our own, we come to find that fullness of joy and
abundant provision for our own needs were contained there all the while.
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The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up only one body. So
it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some
are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into Christ's
body by one Spirit, and we have all received the same Spirit...So God has put
the body together in such a way that extra honor and care are given to those
parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so
that all the members care for each other equally. If one part suffers, all
the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.
Remember this saying, "A few seeds make a small harvest, but a lot of seeds
make a big harvest." Each of you must make up your own mind about how much
to give. But don't feel sorry that you must give and don't feel that you are
forced to give. God loves people who love to give. God can bless you with
everything you need, and you will always have more than enough to do all kinds
of good things for others. The Scriptures say, "God freely gives his gifts
to the poor, and always does right." God gives seed to farmers and provides
everyone with food. He will increase what you have, so that you can give
even more to those in need. You will be blessed in every way, and you will be
able to keep on being generous. Then many people will thank God when we
deliver your gift. What you are doing is much more than a service that supplies
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now that i have you
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Posted:Jul 8, 2006 9:30 am
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2006 2:58 am 3846 Views
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NOW THAT I HAVE YOU
The CompanY
All my life it seemed
That something had been missing
I didn't know what to do
Days would pass me by
Each as lonely as the other
Until I met you
You opened the door
And let the sunshine in
My life will never be the same again
[Chorus:]
Now that I have you
Everything just seems so right
Now that I have you I'm alive
You are the song that I'll be
Singing my whole life through
I'm living in a brighter world
Now that I have you
Looking ahead I see
The two of us together
I'll never let you go
You're so dear to me
And it isn't any wonder
Why I love you so
You opened the door
And let the sunshine in
My life will never be the same again
[Chorus:]
Now that I have you
Everything just seems so right
Now that I have you I'm alive
You are the song that I'll be
Singing my whole life through
I'm living in a brighter world
Now that I have ...you
[Bridge:]
I feel this love is real
I see it in your eyes
You take my hand and I understand
You are mine
You are mine
[Chorus:]
Now that I have you
Everything just seems so right
Now that I have you I'm alive
You are the song that I'll be
Singing my whole life through
I'm living in a brighter world
Now that I have
(Now that I have you everything just seems so right)
I'm living in a brighter world
Now that I have you
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LOVE QUOTES
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Posted:Jun 20, 2006 8:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2024 4:50 am 3902 Views
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They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomachs.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
" Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. "
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
" A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are great riches. "
Never frown because you never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
" Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference. "
Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
" Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals. "
The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
" Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. "
" For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of pleasure, assuage what I find of pain. "
Familiarity breeds contempt - and .
I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomachs.
" Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first. "
" Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards. "
" No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
" Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my to spend their weekends with? "
" When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. "
" By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher. "
" Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference. "
There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. "
" Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart. "
" A coward is a hero with a wife, , and a mortgage. "
" The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things. "
Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
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CLOSER YOU AND I
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Posted:Jun 19, 2006 11:15 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2012 1:53 am 4164 Views
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CLOSING YOU AND I
Hey, there's a look in your eyes
Must be love at first sight
You were just part of a dream
Nothing more so it seemed
But my love couldn't wait much longer
Just can't forget the picture of your smile
'Coz everytime I close my eyes
You come alive
The closer I get to touching you
The closer I get to loving you
Give it a time
Just a little more time
We'll be together
Every little smile
That special smile
The twinkle in your eye
In a little while
Give it a time
Just a little more time
So we can get closer
You and I
Then could I love you more
So much stronger than before
Why does it seem like a dream
So much more so it seems
I guess I found my inspiration
With just one smile, you take my breath away
So hold me close
And say you'll stay with me now
The closer I get to touching you
The closer I get to loving you
Give it a time
Just a little more time
We'll be together
Every little smile
That special smile
The twinkle in your eye
In a little while
Give it a time
Just a little more time
So we can get closer
You and I
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