..All my life, I've been mostly self-absorbed, introvert, conservative, conventional, and creative. We all have our own little worlds where we find comfort, love and belonging. Sometimes, when we are sad, we search for happiness; when we are needy, we find immediate gratification; when we dream, we reach our goals; when we are happy, we share those moments; when we are lonely, we seek for company...yeah, COMPANY.
No one exactly knows just what is inside of me, until I make it evident. Most of the time I am very transparent. When I am with my friends, I am a different person,so lively, and maybe considered the life of the party. But when I am home, there are so many things that I wish I have...so many things that I long for...Only a few chosen ones do understand.
I have the warmth of a friend, the fire of a lover, the loyalty of a servant, the heart of a mother, the dedication of a nurse, and the love that only a human being can have.
I love with all my heart and mind, but I am a tiger when I am deeply angered.
I am always fair with my judgement, but I do know that in this real world, there's no such thing as everyone is equal.
I am generous with my words and deeds.
I speak my mind with all honesty and sincerity, and yet, at times, I am misunderstood.
I believe that I can be anything I can reasonably wanna be..And that is true..And that is because of the support of PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
...Can we really catch up with time? Can we really plan a perfect timetable? Can we really say, tomorrow I WILL LOVE YOU?
...They say that time is GOLD, and past is something we cannot take back, but the future is ours to hold.
...The past few weeks and days, I've been super busy with a lot of things which are personally important to me and to my career.
...Today, I put a "screetching" HALT to that. I believe, I am wearing myself out. For what?...I don't even know, honestly. It seems that I'm always running, either by chasing time or running away from it.
...Guess what? I AM SO TIRED. Today, I am going to the church, I will have my brunch at IHOP, and will start sending Christmas cards and remember the so many people who were/are so much a part of my life. The rest of the day, I will just CHILL!
...My dearest co-bloggers and friends: Please pardon me for being inactive these past few days or weeks. It is this time of the year that I am really swamped with work and projects and social activities. I may visit FFF for a few minutes each day or (maybe not), but please bear in mind that I always think of you and I miss posting in your blogs as well.
Right now, I have so many things going on and it's like I've inhaled a bit too much of everything, and I AM JUST WAITING TO EXHALE!...I'll see you around, and have a great day, everyone!
Situation 1.)...A couple of weeks ago, I was surprised that this "gentleman" was quite consistent with his email responses, where he is NOT good at, or not good to be at all. He is a friend of a friend. At one point, he was also being teased with me, but I didn't see any progress with that, maybe because he is not really a good partner material, or he is just happy-go-lucky and/or not really ready for another relationship at all. To me, that was perfectly fine. Being that he is a friend of a friend, I kinda just gave him what I thought he wanted and deserved, since he is nice anyway. Oh well, to my surprise, his usually 3-liner emails had turned into paragraphs, and suddenly opened up a bit, so I just took it that at least, he feels more comfortable being a friend. He mentioned something that I looked great, and that I should not really worry about working out, and I thanked him for that. But get this one: when I ended my last email to him with nice words such as "THANK YOU FOR BEING FRIENDLY"...that's the last time I heard from him.
Situation 2.)Another friend of mine (he used to be an active FFF member and he may be reading this blog of mine offline) is dating someone nice and is happy about his lovelife at this point. We spoke to each other not too long ago, and we kept each other posted with what's new with us. Being comfortable with him, and vice-versa, I usually just like being myself, the straightforward, candid, but serious (although I could crack a joke once in a while) person that I really am. And so, I told him, that if I don't find that "promised special someone" by Valentine's Day, (if his sweetie pie is not available)is it okay if I borrow him just for that day?...Chiwawas! I must have surprised him with that casual statement, but I was even more shocked at his response. He goes: " Do you have a secret crush on me? "...I tell you, that really got me, and for a few seconds, I was speechless! Wheeeww! I did not expect that, and that made me blushed from where I was . But I regained my poise, and managed to say"What's wrong with dating friends?" Ay!ay!ay!
You see, dealing with men can really be baffling. Sometimes I don't know where to draw the line. I guess, there is really a very thin line between love and friendship, and the way I see it:I COULD BE BITING MORE THAN I COULD CHEW..
Nov 9, 2008 6:23 am Mood: curious and frustrated, 715 Views
..."Why do we have to be near or next to the person to be truly in love?"...
...I know not only one, but a few men who do not want to engage in long distance relationship. They either want me to relocate right away, or relocate, period!
...Why is that? Why don't we just enjoy the personal space first, get to know each other in writing or by telephone conversation before making that decision? Why do most men don't have any patience?..Well, I'll probably gamble relocating (since I am licensed to practise nursing in 27 states of the USA [make it 28 soon!]) if I know the person for at least a year already, but for someone I just met a couple of months back? Now that is a BIG RISK!
...My point is, why can't we love via long distance anymore? Why can't we be sincere, serious, and faithful without having that special someone close to us? Why can't we just take things slowly and proceed to making LDR into SDR when the time is ripe and right?
Nov 7, 2008 3:03 am Mood: thinking deeply, 466 Views
...people are willing to sacrifice ...willing to relocate ...willing to change ways ...swallow their own pride ...willing to gamble and take all the risks ...will endure the pains ...will defy everyone ...will do everything .....AT ALL COST!
...I am one of those who do not believe in love at first sight, nor believe in all the "first impressions", but one thing I can tell you: " I DO BELIEVE THAT LOVE MAY BLOSSOM, THE SECOND TIME AROUND.."
In LOVE, sometimes, we just need to do the "baby steps", slowly, but surely...Just letting you all know that I am gradually making some progress. I didn't rush way back then. I don't see any reason why all of a sudden I'll push my luck this time...One thing for sure:THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD!
Oh! what the heck!...I have 3 opportunities, and I've got more than 3 months to really make a BIG DECISION..And this time, when I TAKE THE PLUNGE, I will remove the extra paddings that I've been cushioning myself with. Darn! I just have to accept that in order for me to find happiness, I should take more risks. I have at least 3 (three) chances now. It could be more later, but I want to focus on these people that I already know (maybe here, there, and somewhere else). I know, I have said in the past, that male friends are always "excluded" from the list of FAFAHBLES, but then again, there's always the first time. You never know... I should be able to distinguish the difference. The cushion will be less, alright, but the weighing scale will definitely be balanced. I hope the swing will not bounce too much and throw me off the ground. I'm sure, it'll be another experience...AND I'M READY TO TAKE THAT CHANCE, much more, I'M READY TO TAKE THAT PLUNGE AGAIN..
I know, this may sound very funny to those friends who already "know" what "my cobwebs" are...But, honestly, I've had them for a very long time now, that I am so scared that one day >>> SOMEONE MIGHT SWEEP AND CLEAN THEM UP!
I did not expect that, and that made me blushed from where I was
. But I regained my poise, and managed to say"What's wrong with dating friends?" Ay!ay!ay!
