Just wait and see...
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Posted:Jun 13, 2005 3:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 2937 Views
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i am driven to see you through your dreams.
i want to be there when that happens.
i want to be the one who makes it happen for you.
and i will. and i am.
just wait and see.
they say mourning comes at night time, but rejoicing comes in the morning. i am waiting for that one morning when you would wake up and see that all your dreams have finally come true.
i want to be the one to wake you up.
just wait and see.
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Don't make me sick!
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Posted:Jun 12, 2005 4:33 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 3128 Views
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Hilarious, that's what I think of it. I and Mighty Mike ( my dj friend )is been texting each other for I do not the reason is. Okay we are good friends, it's good hanging out with him, but he's one hell of a scary guy with his words...
"Oh I'm confident alright, I'm confident I could win you over. I'm over step 1-4 actually.
#1 Got your attention, #2 Got your number, #3 set a supposed date/appointment and #4 I hang out with you for quite sometime now. But that as it may still more on your favor because you got the last to say, worse comes to worse and I know I did not meet your feverishly high requirements/expectations
i: A. Don't get any B. I ridiculed myself for showin up as me and C. you make me feel about myself." - TEXT MESSAGE FROM MIGHTY MIKE.
-- Huh? excuse me, Mike, I know your'e reading this, but let me just clear myself. What expections are you talking about? Aren't we like friends to what friends really are? What else do you need? I was there when you needed someone to listen, I was there when you feel like hanging out and kill time, I was there talking to you over the phone when I am all sleepy in the middle of the night and feel like resting even if my head is cracking up with the pain, I was all open heart when you told me you feel insane and I understood you... I was all open ears when all you have to say is how special I am to you when I have already gave you an idea that I am not taking any relationship for the meantime while I am not moving on the well yet.... I was all in there when all you want is someone who will laugh at your insane thoughts that I know it will even make me more insane...when did I let you feel your differences with me and the other guys?
What else do you need? Am I am not enough? haven't I given you much time you needed? how could you be so self-centered? Your'e just a friend? and how else could you ask for more? I am sorry, I did not texted you back, I wasn't in the mood to explain myself though and why would I explain myself anyways?
There will always be barriers between you and me, your'e more of a brother to me Mike, ok, I like you.. I like you as friend and I appreciates all your effort. But let's not go beyond to what how strong the barriers... because your'e scaring me. I trust you.. and don't let that trust go away with the wind... you need it...
Thank you Mike. I will call you as soon as I know I have given you much time to think about what you've texted me.... isn't a stalker lines?
I promise, I will always be your friend.
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You don't know what youv'e got til' it's gone...
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Posted:Jun 10, 2005 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 2996 Views
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Life is one mysterious journey in this universe. It's like what Tom Hanks said in Forest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates. You'll never know what you will get."
I love my life. It's not a perfect one, no siree. But I've never had any regrets in anything that has happened in nineteen years of breathing. Well, at least the most of it that I can remember.
I've been hurt so many times in the past. The last one was REALLY the worst so far. Partly because it was my fault, I never did hold on it tightly enough. I wouldn't want to reminisce the bad times (I'm not the type who delves into the past), but it was something that I could have avoided if I had been listening to my dear friends. Anyhow, it's all behind me now. Now I love my friends even more. And I have promised myself to listen to then in case I'll be needing their counsel again in the future.
I've met someone lately, although not physically yet. I guess I'm being more apprehensive about getting into another relationship. Cuiusvis hominis est errare; nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare. After all, I'm only human. But I can't and I won't allow myself to fall victim to the same trap once more.
I was having this conversation (through yahoo) with a newly-found friend. He said that we grow wiser each day. True. But it's also not a sin to commit mistakes, albeit the same one. Does that mean then that we're fools if we do so? Commit the same mistake I mean? Certainly not. Jason (my newly-found friend) said people do crazy things when in love. I couldn't agree more.
The next time I jump into another relationship though, I would have to take a step backward. Just to allow myself not to lose sight of reality. I don't want to go crazy again. In love, that is. People may call it it having reservations. I call it being careful this time.
I've met someone. I'm just afraid of making any moves. I'm not afraid of rejection. Nor am I afraid of failure. I just don't know if I can be as trusting as I was before. I'm afraid of not being able to be a good partner, what with the failed two-and-a-half-year relationship before. I have grown. True. But did I grow to become a better person? I hope so. I don't want to become indifferent to a person that I cared for.
Anyway, no point in jumping to conclusions. It's still a mile's stretch yet. 
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Time heal all wounds
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Posted:Jun 9, 2005 4:24 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 3123 Views
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Last weekend I got a text message from my ex Joey, accusing me of being apathetic and not seeming to care anymore. I did not reply.
One of the lessons I've learned throughout the two years and four months I've had with my ex, is the value of prudence and tact. And choosing ignore the accusation has indeed proven to be the right choice.
I've had enough of being hurt and feeling sorry for myself. During those two years and four months, there'd been a lot of fighting, disloyalty, broken trusts, and infdelity. All taking a great toll on me. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Socially.
I've placed my ex on a pedestal way above my other priorities in life including school, my parents and myself. There were a lot of signs that the relationship wasn't working anymore but I chose to ignore those signs. A lot of hurt came my way but I just thought that things will become better and that my ex would soon realize what was happening and eventually would change or do something. But I guess I was hoping a pot of gold a the end of the rainbow. What hurt even more was that I was always there to make work things out. But everytime that we would decide to fix the relationship, it would always end up with me doing the fixing alone.
I've grown tired it. I realized how much I've neglected my other priorities because of my ex. I was ashamed of myself for taking my parents for granted, for taking my nephew and niece's future for granted, for taking my own life for granted. I've given so much. I never wanted anything in return. My love had always been, is always, will always be unconditional. But in return for that love, I got pain. I never asked for anything in return, but I never wanted to get hurt either.
No, I do not regret having gone through that experience. I learned a lot from it. I fell and I 've risen. I was blinded by love. I was betrayed.
It may be that my ex has changed. But it I cannot risk getting hurt once again. I'm not saying that our paths will never cross again. Maybe in the future they will. But for now, my priorities are clear. My family above all. And then myself.
I just realized how could I ever bring happiness to anyone when I myself could not be happy. How could I love anyone when I could not even begin to love myself? No, it has nothing to do with selfishness. It's just a realization that love and happiness come from within. That in order for us to share this love and happiness, we should feel them first and share love and happiness with our own selves.
I may have closed my doors for my ex. But they remain unlocked. My ex could always knock again. But don't be disappointed if I couldn't answer for now.
Julia Fordham said that "time heals all wounds." True. And Mariah said "love takes time to heal when you're hurting so much."
It may take some time before I start falling in love again after Joey and Tyler. I'm not in a hurry this time. For now, I have my family beside me.
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Sacrifices
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Posted:Jun 9, 2005 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 2969 Views
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I had a chance to browse all the songs that is recorded on my pc, thank's to RG for doing a great job. As I listen to all the songs, I became more interested with this song by Imago,, song titled AKAP... Song about sacrifices... words by words it defines strong emotions and love...
AKAP
by Imago
Nagtatanong
bakit mahirap
sumabay sa agos
ng iyong mundo
Nagtataka
Simple lang naman sana
Ang buhay
Kung ika'y matino
Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
kakayanin ko
Pikit mata
kong iaalay
ang buwan at araw
pati pa sapatos kong suot
Nagtatanong
simple lang naman sana
ang buhay
kung ika'y lumayo
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka...
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Slumber
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Posted:Jun 7, 2005 11:23 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 3038 Views
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slumber*
i will close
my eyes
see all
the blinding
colors
in my head
melt all
the reds
of my fears
fade all
the greens
of my hunger
and picture
sydney
on a fresh
new day
the colors
dissolve
to white
as i calm
as a
in dreamless
slumber
hoping that
no dread
nor thirst
could ever
find me
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An Advice..
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Posted:Jun 6, 2005 4:31 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 3023 Views
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I have a friend who's been trying to win the position of becoming an editor-in-chief of a certain newspaper but apparently wasn't chosen to be one, it is more dismaying on her part after learning that the one chosen is her long time rivalry.. and she's envious of that person now. She then came to me for an advice.
I told her that " Failure is a blessing in disguise, it is the slightest guide for an opportunity"
Failure does not mean that you do not deserve to win something that you've been wanting to win over of.
Failure, means taking yourself to another stage of a more challenging and harder life, if you fail today, it does not end there. There is always chances for each failure and it is something that you should never let you down.
I asked her " Why do you want to be an editor-in-chief?" and she answered me this way : " Because, I know I can write well, I am imaginative, I know how to contruct words...etc etc.." and so I said :
"You do something not because your'e good at it.
You do it because your heart is at it"
You shall never let the reason behind wanting everything is just because you know you are capable of it. You should know and find out from yourself if it is something that you love to do, that you love doing... there's gotta be Passion in everything that you desire, that you do, that you are doing. It is just a matter of taking things positively.
Being Envious on the hand :
Remember this : It does not help if your'e keeping resentment to other people. It will something that will hinder you from succeeding, from going on top.
The more envious you are, the more your'e keeping your self-esteem low. The best thing to do with this person is : adopt from her, learn from your enemy. Adopting her knowledge is to finding out what made her on top? Learn from your battlefield.. instead of battling inside. If you do, you'll never learn anything. No human, will be on top because they are envious. People who are on top are those who knows how to accept humiliation and it will let humiliation serves are thier inspiration, who knows how to accept the fact, and learn from those circumstances that is putting them down. Success does not come from talents, it should be grown and taken care of insideyour heart.
and if you keep failing..."just focus on only one frame of mind : remember"
Remember how you want?
remember why you want?
remember when you want?
It's just a pattern on taking the edge over the earth.
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An Advice..
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Posted:Jun 6, 2005 4:28 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 2909 Views
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I have a friend who's been trying to win the position of becoming an editor-in-chief of a certain newspaper but apparently wasn't chosen to be one, it is more dismaying on her part after learning that the one chosen is her long time rivalry.. and she's envious of that person now. She then came to me for an advice.
I told her that " Failure is a blessing in disguise, it is the slightest guide for an opportunity"
Failure does not mean that you do not deserve to win something that you've been wanting to win over of.
Failure, means taking yourself to another stage of a more challenging and harder life, if you fail today, it does not end there. There is always chances for each failure and it is something that you should never let you down.
I asked her " Why do you want to be an editor-in-chief?" and she answered me this way : " Because, I know I can write well, I am imaginative, I know how to contruct words...etc etc.." and so I said :
"You do something not because your'e good at it.
You do it because your heart is at it"
You shall never let the reason behind wanting everything is just because you know you are capable of it. You should know and find out from yourself if it is something that you love to do, that you love doing... there's gotta be Passion in everything that you desire, that you do, that you are doing. It is just a matter of taking things positively.
Being Envious on the hand :
Remember this : It does not help if your'e keeping resentment to other people. It will something that will hinder you from succeeding, from going on top.
The more envious you are, the more your'e keeping your self-esteem low. The best thing to do with this person is : adopt from her, learn from your enemy. Adopting her knowledge is to finding out what made her on top? Learn from your battlefield.. instead of battling inside. If you do, you'll never learn anything. No human, will be on top because they are envious. People who are on top are those who knows how to accept humiliation and it will let humiliation serves are thier inspiration, who knows how to accept the fact, and learn from those circumstances that is putting them down. Success does not come from talents, it should be grown and taken care of insideyour heart.
and if you keep failing..."just focus on only one frame of mind : remember"
Remember how you want?
remember why you want?
remember when you want?
It's just a pattern on taking the edge over the earth.
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History...
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Posted:Jun 5, 2005 8:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 3095 Views
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History...
I've never been curious about history, during my history class, I know I'm out in the system, sure my mind is wandering somewhere, like... thinking of something else... Imagining things, and I wonder why I still got 85, during highschool...
Okay, let's tak about a certain person's history..for example, the uprooted issue of a certain person, like what she did the past that will mark as the history to her and other people's lives...
One that intrugues me is that history of someone scamming... must be someone who just dumped me like that as if she's someone with a highest paid brain working ,when all she knows is scamming. Such a foolish kind you are.
I'm not going to mention her name, but at least I was given a justice for feeling a little bit down when her group has agreed to just dumped me like that as if I wasn't belong to highest IQ'S levels, when in fact thier IQ Levels are running from o to 1...
Sorry.. but There's no secret that will not be revealed. And your has gone out already..... and no more respect left in me for you old maiden...
Any violent reactions?
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It's all about finding my way out...
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Posted:Jun 5, 2005 5:30 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 3039 Views
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It's all about finding my way out...
It's the unsual humid morning. I used to wake up in the morning with the cool breeze inside my room from the aircon. Now, for some reason, I don't know who is the obnoxious human beings came inside and turned it off.
I was forced to get up for I was feeling a bit uncomfortable. But much to my dismay my muscles feels pain, from my upper arms, downward my thighs and my legs... Must be the effect of working out really hard. Just to correct you, no, I am not working out to lose weight, I must remind you that I am only 80 pounds that is 40 in kilos. So, What I'm doing is to gain muscles... but then again I comprehended earlier that my muscles is painful, ok.. ok.. I do have muscles, but then again, I need to regain more of it.
I'm not ready to feel the pain not just yet...especially that I know I have taken a laxative last night just... for goodness sake' I haven't been in the comfort room to release something that is not suppose to stay inside my body, ( ok that's sounds nasty) it is going to be the poison that will kill me. Alright, I'm too advance for thinking that way. But when this thing is irregular then it will cause you to break down.
Honestly, It feels heavy, that fact that I weigh so light, how come I feel heavy? It must be the tummy, yes it is. So, I need to find a way to make this thing out...
Ahhhhh.....
I know I sound unrespectful for sharing this... do you even care? it's my blog,, so? are you against it?....
yaiks...
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