APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY
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Posted:Feb 14, 2008 5:26 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2010 11:17 pm 12108 Views
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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement,
job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #______________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattre in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY ' mean to you?
_________ _____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?<>
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I wo uld want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
____________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMAT ION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years...
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Horoscope...
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Posted:Jan 6, 2011 4:47 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2011 8:15 am 12117 Views
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ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
TAURUS - The (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's love is one of a kind... Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad
Luck if you do not forward.
SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offence forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini's. Likes to cook but would rather go out
To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 1
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the centre of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humour!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
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TO ALL FOLKS...
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Posted:Nov 20, 2010 2:45 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 1:35 am 11154 Views
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TO ALL FOLKS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1950's, 60' s,  70's  and early 80's !!
First, some of us  s urvived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer or tuba while they carried us.
While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicines,  a te Linunod, balikutsa, bukhayo  and didn't worry about diabetes..
Â
Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, ang uban kay duyan nga habol gihigtan ug pisi nga inigtabyog ug kusog ma pakong intawon ta sa bongbong.
Â
We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang sa General Milling nga naa'y faded picture nga nag-salute), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, wala pa gyu'y brake ang bisikleta.
Â
As , we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (Bisaya Bus nga pultahan puros ang kilid, Corominas Bus nga senimana ang brake), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts  (karon kay Minibus na nga nindot kaayo ug sounds or Ceres Bus nga bugnaw ug aircon)
Â
Riding on the back of a carabao  on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (karon; ang mga bata wala na kaila ug Kabaw)
Â
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT bottled mineral water sa Nature Spring or Viva, or Absolute Mineral water (usahay gani, straight from the faucet or poso or Tabay!)
Â
We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contracted hepatitis.
Â
We ate rice with star margarine, bahaw nga gibutangan ug asin ug mantika sa baboy, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, Â and drank softdrinks with real sugar in it (dili diet coke or Pepsi Max), but we weren't sick or overweight kay......
Â
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
Â
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Syatong, Bato-Lata, Bagol, Dakop-Dakop, Tago-Tago, Ngita'g Kaka. Â
Â
No one was able to reach us all day ( wala pa'y uso ang cellphone) . And yes, we were O.K.
Â
We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (katong bearing ang ligid) or Karitong Kawayan nga karaang tsinilas ang giporma nga ligid and then ride down the street , wala ma'y gidungog nga naligsan atoh! Â After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .
Â
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, Â no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ........ ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..sakit bai ? pero kung kontra gani nimo ang imong kadula,,,,singgitan lang dayon ug..Mayra,Gabaan!
We played marbles (jolen) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate Pan Bahug-bahug & Bagumbayan (recycled bread man diay to kay wala mahalin!) We were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.
We had to live with homemade guns (giporma nga kahoy, gihigtan ug garter ug lastiko) , saplong , tirador ug uban pa nga pwedeng magkasakitay. Pero lingaw gihapon kaayo ang tanan.
We made up games with sticks ( syatong ), and cans ( Bato-Lata )and although we were told they were dangerous, wala man gyud to'y actual nga nabuta bah, bukol lang nuon sa agtang naa.
We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or batoon ug gagmay nga bato ang bungbong, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!
Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala pa nang mga childhood depression ug damaged self esteem ek-ek ra na. Ang maglagot, pildi. Â
Ang mga Ginikanan naa ra sa daplin para motan-aw ra sa duwa sa mga bata, dili para manghilabot ug makig-away sa ubang parents.
That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today. Â
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.
You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real . We were lucky indeed. Â
And if you like, forward it to your too, so they will know how brave their parents were.
It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!
PS - The big letters are because your eyes may not be able to read this if they were typed any smaller (at your age? Duh!).
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Mobile Phone Masterpiece
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Posted:Oct 12, 2010 9:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 1:35 am 10865 Views
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Very informative mail for you, please don't forget to forward.
Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not ?????
Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears. Then check the 7th and 8th numbers:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7 th
8 th
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
Phone serial no.
x
x
x
x
x
x
?
?
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in China which is low quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health
THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELL PHONE COULD DO
There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for
survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: -
(1 )
EMERGENCY
* The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112 ..* If you find
yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an
emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to
establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**
(2)
Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys?
This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:
If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call
someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock.
Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'*
(3)
Hidden Battery power
Imagine your cell battery is very low , you are expecting an important call
and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve
battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with
this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This
reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.
AND
(4 )
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone:
* # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.
You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
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WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS
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Posted:Oct 12, 2010 9:30 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2015 3:22 pm 10832 Views
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WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS
A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong E-mail address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before.
Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Friday, and his wife was flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a computer in his room, and he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her E-mail address, and without noticing his error, sent the email to the wrong address.
Meanwhile . somewhere in Houston .. a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her E-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and then fainted. The widow's rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and then glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Date: Friday, October 13, 2005
Subject: I have arrived!
Dearest Love:
I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send E-mail to your loved ones.
I have just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow, and look forward to seeing you then.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
PS ... It sure is freakin' hot down here
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Hi Tech
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Posted:Oct 12, 2010 9:22 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2011 8:09 am 11205 Views
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Just for laugh
Three men, one German, one Japanese and one Filipino were sitting naked
in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his
forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
"That was my pager", he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my
arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to
his ear. When he finished he explained,
"That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The Filipino felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided
he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna
and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging
from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him
disgustedly.
The Filipino finally said..........., (translation: Oh my god!) will you look at
that? I'm getting a fax."
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Cure For Dengue
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Posted:Oct 12, 2010 9:06 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2010 7:03 pm 10852 Views
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Dear All
I would like to share this interesting discovery from a classmate's who has just recovered from dengue fever. Apparently, his was in the critical stage at the SJMC ICU when his pallet counts drops to 15 after 15 litres of blood transfusion.
His father was so worried that he seek another friend's recommendation and his was saved. He confessed to me that he give his raw juice of the papaya leaves. From a pallet count of 45 after 20 litres of blood transfusion, and after drinking the raw papaya leaf juice, his pallet count jumps instantly to 135. Even the doctors and nurses were surprised. After the second day he was discharged. So he ask me to pass
this good news around.
Accordingly it is raw papaya leaves, 2pcs just cleaned and pound and squeeze with filter cloth. You will only get one tablespoon per leaf. So two tablespoon per serving once a day. Do not boil or cook or rinse with hot water, it will loose its strength. Only the leafy part and no stem or sap. It is very bitter and you have to swallow it like Won Low Kat. But it works.
Papaya Juice - Cure for Dengue
You may have heard this elsewhere but if not I am glad to inform you that papaya juice is a natural cure for dengue fever. As dengue fever
Is rampant now, I think it's good to share this with all.
A friend of mine had dengue last year. It was a very serious situation for her as her platelet count had dropped to 28,000 after 3 days in hospital and water has started to fill up her lung. She had difficulty in breathing. She was only 32-year old. Doctor says there's no cure for dengue. We just have to wait for her body immune system to build up resistance against dengue and fight its own battle. She already had 2 blood transfusion and all of us were praying very hard as her platelet continued to drop since the first day she was admitted.
Fortunately her mother-in-law heard that papaya juice would help to reduce the fever and got some papaya leaves, pounded them and squeeze the juice out for her. The next day, her platelet count started to increase, her fever subside. We continued to feed her with papaya juice and she recovered after 3 days!!! Amazing but it's true. It's believed one's body would be overheated when one is down with dengue and that also caused the patient to have fever. papaya juice has cooling effect. Thus, it helps to reduce the heatiness in one's body, thus the fever will go away. I found that its also good when one is having sore throat or suffering from heatiness.
Please spread the news about this as lately there are many dengue cases.
It's great if such natural cure could help to ease the sufferings of dengue patients. Furthermore it's so easily available. Just go to market and ask the makcik who sells ulam and they usually have papaya. Blend them and squeeze the juice! It's simple and miraculously effective!!
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Timing is not Coincidence
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Posted:Sep 17, 2009 11:49 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2011 8:12 am 11397 Views
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Timing is not coincidence
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real, but only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
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Uncorrupted Mind... i bet u'll get the wrong answers...
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Posted:Sep 4, 2009 6:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2010 11:21 pm 11237 Views
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A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam was having trouble
with one of her students the teacher asked,"Boy, what
is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My
sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms. Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's
office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher
explained to the principal what the situation was.The principal
told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know. The principal
looks at Ms. Neelam and tells her, "I think the
Boy can go to the third-grade. "
Ms. Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my
own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agree.
1. Ms. Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?
Boy, after a moment "Legs."
2. Ms. Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
3. Ms. Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
4. Ms. Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and
before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
5. Ms. Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a does on three legs? The principal's
eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms. Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
6. Ms. Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
7. Ms. Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The
Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large
Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
8. Ms. Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
9. Ms. Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
10. Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in
'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
11. Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in
'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
12. Ms. Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's
longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his
and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
13. Ms. Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for
making love ?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to the University, I got the last ten questions
wrong myself!"
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"Here With Out You" 3 doors down
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Posted:Sep 2, 2009 7:53 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2010 11:22 pm 11598 Views
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A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
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