LITTLE MARK ON GETTING OLDER
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Posted:Dec 14, 2007 5:45 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 10:18 pm 3663 Views
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Little MARK was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench ac ross from him said,
", you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little MARK replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little MARK answered, "No, he minded his own f#$king business.
I LOVE Little MARK!!!!!
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don't look back
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Posted:Nov 29, 2007 3:37 am
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2008 12:12 am 3808 Views
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don't look back
You don't need to run away from the past. For it's already quickly receding behind you.
If you've had a wonderful and fulfilling past, it is now time to move forward. If you've had a difficult and troubling past, it is now time to move forward.
Whatever the past may or may not have been, it is now over. Choose to not let it hold you back for any reason.
Are your thoughts filled with regret, resentment, sorrow or anger for what has already been? The sooner you let go and move on, the better your life will be.
Cherish the past, take wisdom from the past, but don't let the past become your prison. Free yourself to move forward in a positive, fulfilling way.
If there's one thing you have learned from the past, it is that life is precious. Now is when you can fully realize and experience the precious life you are in.
-- Ralph Marston
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loss off appetite
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Posted:Nov 28, 2007 12:49 pm
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2007 1:13 pm 3793 Views
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BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER ~~!~~
Medical warning...loss of appetite...
A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?'
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He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'
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> At lunchtime she asked him if he would like something. 'a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?' He declines. 'The Viagra,' he
says, 'really trashes my desire for food, Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 'Would you like a
juicy rib eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie
chicken or tasty stir fry He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra....I'm
still not hungry.
' Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving.'
****************************************************************************************
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to our bottle dancer
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Posted:Nov 26, 2007 3:26 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2007 1:19 am 3845 Views
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a few creeds for life
Don't undermine your worth by comparing
yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each
of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people
deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest
to your heart.
Cling to that as you would your life, for without
them life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living
in the past or the future.
By living you life one day at a time, you live all the
days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is reallhy over.... until the moment
you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less
than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut lobe out of your life by saying it's
impossible to find.
the quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on to tightly
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
don't dismiss your dreams. To be without
dreams is to be without hope.
to be without hope it to be without purpose
don't run through life so fast that you forget
where you've been
but also know where you are going
life is not a race but a journey to be savored
every step of the way.
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where does the X in Xmas come from ????
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Posted:Nov 15, 2007 6:10 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2007 12:41 am 4455 Views
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ok may be i am just uneducated but where does the X come from is it like the way that the queenslanders spell beer XXXX  or is it just the way that people over the years have shortened it to having a X in the front..
Is there a story to it?
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he said what????????
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Posted:Nov 8, 2007 3:14 pm
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2007 1:13 pm 3880 Views
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Who'd be a Commentator?
1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
2. New ZealandRugbyCommentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him."
3. Ted Walsh - Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely
. I once rode her mother."
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't
that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of
the Oxfordcrew."
5. USPGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team
Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's
that
eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the
set,but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
8. Steve Ryder covering the USMasters: "Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69 yesterday."
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like
this."
10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UKeclipse coverage remarked: They
seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his
shorts."
12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes
to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
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LAUGH A LOT.
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Posted:Nov 7, 2007 2:53 pm
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2007 5:29 am 4187 Views
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"HUMOR IS THE SHOCK ABSORBERS OF LIFE."
-Barbara Johnson.
have you ever laughed until you stomach hurt?
Or have you ever fallen out of your chair because you where laughing so hard?
Why does it feel so good to laugh? It seems that something called "endorphins" are released every time you laugh - actually making you feel better. It's like natures antidepressant.
Laughter is a universal language. It's so contagious that you can be in a country where you don't speak the native language and can get a whole bus load of people laughing, simply by laughing yourself.
Don't put a lid on your laughter. Laugh a lot. It's a great remedy for what ails you. Laughter can help you deal with disappointment or despair. Have you ever gone through bad times, turned in the tv and found yourself laughing at some comedians routine? For the moment your problems were lost in the laughter.
What would the world be like if everybody laughed more? Probably a lot different than it is right now. People who have learned to laugh can also be taught to love.
LAUGH IT UP!!!!!!!
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Men are from Mars
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Posted:Oct 19, 2007 12:12 am
Last Updated:Nov 11, 2007 3:33 pm 4003 Views
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you know when you get that comfortable feeling?
that feeling that things you have worried about,
thought about, wanted but never really had,
just fall into place and go so well and feel so right.
It is a feeling for things, that where and could have been don't matter any more. How we take the time to talk to make our feelings
known and share with one that you care for. There is a comfort of the heart there is a type of different feeling that we have when we find the one that softens your heart.
what is that that makes a wild beast tame a mad man, sain ???
Is it LOVE??? Is it just the soft gentle spoken words of a lady that melts the heart???
OF COURSE IT IS!!!!!!
The fairer sex, the one from venus, the sweet mother, the protector, the steadfast pillar, you can say so many different ways about a woman. It is the way that are affected by one lady that makes you change, makes your life different, that is the difference!! that is part of being in love !!
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good Ol
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Posted:Oct 14, 2007 9:12 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2007 3:23 am 3687 Views
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a young jackaroo from the outback goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly squandered all of his money.
he calls home. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe what modern education is developing. The have a program here in brissy that will teach our Ol'blue how to talk."
"That's amazing!" His dad says. "How do I get Ol'blue in that programm?"
"Just send him down here with $2,000," the young jackaroo says, "I'll get him in the course." So father sends the and $2,000.
About 2/3 through the semester, the money runs out again. The boy calls home."So how's Ol'blue doing, ?" His father wants to know. "Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. they've had such good results with talking they've begun to teach the animals how to read."
"Read?" exclaims his father. "No kidding! How do we get Ol'blue in that program?" "Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class." says the .
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the can niether talk or read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
"where's Ol'blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, " I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol'blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly tuned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead barmaid at the pub?'"
The father groans and whispers, "I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The went on to be a successful lawyer..
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gone but never lost !!!!!!
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Posted:Oct 5, 2007 2:51 am
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2007 7:17 pm 4394 Views
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you know that one
is no longer in pain
he can watch over his
now with a smile on his face
you know that he is with you
where ever you go now,
in your heart forever
sweet memories abound
sorrow is a part of the grieving
and tears are a release of sadness,
love and caring.
take time to remember
take time to grieve
your friends gather
to catch each tear
to share your love
and your sadness
my thoughts and prayers are with you  
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