Late Night Heat! Oct 19, 2006 3:22 pm 1010 Views I have forgotten about the time. Not sure how long it is going to take before dawn comes! But I know it is late! Darkness has been surrounding me for hours and hours! Felt like ages here in the dark! Nothing but darkness broken by the light of my PC screen and the light of my cigarettes burning and filling the space of smoke! Turn around.. look left side... right side... look behind... nothing, but the silent walls squeezing my existence! Go to bed? Not bad idea! that is where people normally normally end, whether their nights are long or short! that is where all tired people wait to be, in order to rest! that is where ill people ask to be, in order to eliminate their pains! that is where all lovers whisper to each other pointing at, when the precious moments comes! that is where you ease your head and release it from all sort of thoughts that occupying your whole life! that is where you can be with yourself, or with someone you never were obliged to have! So! what is wrong in in going to your bed, when you see the white lines of the dawn breaking the darkness of you black night? something calling within you! something whispering into your desires! something exploding all around! the sleeping feelings are awake! the punished organs are punishing you! the neglected feelings are no more fake! the decency covering your face all the day, has a break! looking at your cold bed.. looks ugly being without a warmth of a lady, no matter how costly that bed was! looking at your velvet pillow, looks frozen without the warmth of a woman breath! woman breath?? can you imagine how does it sound to think of a woman breath, at the late night, when your loneliness is all you got in your entire existence? hit the wall with you tiny hand! smash the face of sky if you can reach it! shout loud if any hears you! dig the floor with both feet to make sure your limbs still move! even your fingers at the wall.. come down slowly ... spreading in an exhausted move... drawing a shadow of a female! your eyes looking every movement of the the trees outside...thinking it is a dancing female! you almost lost your reason, thinking could it be that your screen would sympathy with you and give a birth of a female! can you imagine when nothing in the entire world occupy your head and heart except a female? that is your the case... that is the case, when you experience late night heat! 12 Comments

Blogs Chat Room! Oct 15, 2006 4:08 am 1033 Views I was thinking,as I was reading some blogs, and having my coffee.. Where are these nice people who keep on blogging? why we don't see them in regular chat rooms? and if we see some of them, why do we talk differently? The idea is, there are real creative nice people, members of FFF and regular bloggers! they are very gifted and talented! But there is no forum for them to meet and chat! Why there isn't a room like the Gallery, for example, for those creative people to meet, and discuss issues, experiences, thoughts, own problems, seek an advice, talk serious in all aspects! It is pity that we only see their pics and hardly meet them! how i wish, we can make this more creative! 6 Comments

Images Not To Be Explored! (1) Oct 13, 2006 5:38 am 1043 Views She comes frequently to the ELR! but mainly after midnight at her place time! She keeps chasing guys, one after to the other, spreading her YM ID. In particular, she concentrate on those who are younger than her! How desperate! How pitiful! I tried to find her an excuse! tried to understand! tried to imagine how life can be cruel for some normal people, and how cruel some people can be, to themselves! why would one needs to under-estimate him/herself?! why would one put him/herself in such a cheap situation! The image is very clear, and there is nothing to explore! 11 Comments

The Hopeless Love! Oct 8, 2006 2:22 pm 1006 Views This time it is short.. shorter than just a note! I love you endlessly.. knowing that i am in a different boat! sailing the opposite direction.. with words that not leaving my throat! i hate to say goodbye.. or even ask ...why! will sing for the birds.. rather than being misery and cry! will kiss the face of the moon.. rather than keeping say "sigh"! will touch the top of highness.. rather than living on a lie! will gather all the colors of roses.. and recolor face of my sky! will write for all the lovers.. rather than keeping asking why! will spread my kiss over the hopeless children.. no reason to reason or justify! I love you, I admit... more than you could take in, i don't deny! the hopeless love is a chapter... in a legend, I tell, without feeling shy! 8 Comments

Echo Of Silnece! Sep 27, 2006 12:24 pm 985 Views I hear the echo of silence calling, only the voice of God replies! I look at the emptiness scrolling, only her presence can emphasize! I have forgotten that time is rolling, the moon is vanishing, and the sunrise! I don't recognize the location, without her no location can be located, and in her presence, the sky becomes skies! this is not meant to be for any one! or even to be read by anyone! this is the voice of God calling, to break the echo of silence, to cure the bleeding eyes! my nights are so long! only darkness filling my heart, just now I realize! I waited!!! and I will wait, no matter how much it is taking sacrifice! the best thing in love, that once you explore it, no winner or loser, but beautiful feelings to memorize! 4 Comments

AN ATTEMPT TO SAY SOMETHING SWEET TO SOMEONE SPECIAL ! Sep 27, 2006 3:29 am 1051 Views Since yesterday, or the day before, or even the day before that day, I am trying to say something sweet to her! But i couldn't! As those called netaholic nowadays, I became spending my day and night online, waiting for her to come or pass by, or when very optimistic, to hear her saying: "hi" ! spent all day looking at the sun to compare the sun beams with her hair. spent all the time waiting for the rainbow, to compare its colours with her eyes colours! spent all night imagining the air of paradise, how it could be similar to her breath! listened to all the beautiful birds, to compare their voices with her velvet one! wandered through all the beautiful gardens to see which rose can be compared to her smooth cheeks colour! envied the moon because he can steal a look at her beauty, when no one ever could or should! praised and prayed to God thousands times, because he put all his holly art in creating her! wished I were the air that goes throughout her lungs! wished I were the blood that goes slowly in her great heart! wished...and wished...and wished, to know how and where I can start! feeling like a homeless gypsy that sees his home under her eyelash! feeling like a bird, that trying to build his nest between her silky hair! if there is nothing to thank God for, I thank him because she still there! 15 Comments

FEAR... Sep 25, 2006 5:21 pm 812 Views It has been over two months, I haven't written! It was not because I was busy, or couldn't write, but I was in the mode of reading, watching and hearing, more than saying! For a reason or another, I am writing tonight! and it is about F E A R ! I have seen people all over the world, in different social classes, with different educational background, processing different way of thinking, speaking different languages, carrying different believes, marked with different skin colours, and having different and various scales of hope, but.. yet, they are all full of Fear! This made me think of Fear as a feeling! Fear as vital factor in life, Fear as an important element in changing the path of our lives in certain situations! And i was wondering, is that all what the human civilization has achieved so far? I heard of Globalization of world economy and politics! I heard of the a waited benefits! and i heard of the rejecting voices to that globalization! But it is obvious that is nothing really globalized yet, except FEAR! Fear of sudden death that breaks the hearts of all your loving ones! Fear of illness that can or can't be cured! Fear air raids that might bomb your weak shelters and frighten your kids at the middle of the night! Fear of the disasters of a cruel nature, that attacks you when you are deep asleep! Fear of your greedy, or corrupted, or stupid, or extremist politicians that might drive your home country to no where or any where! Fear of your friend that you have trusted and gave all your faith on him/her, and were just an open book in front of him/her, and suddenly you find him/her the unexpected enemy! Fear of your beloved one, that you gave him/her all your heart, soul, mind and even body, considered him/her the reason and target of your entire existence, and just when you don't expect him/her, he/she uses all what you gave to him/her as weapons to cut your heart into pieces! Fear of your wife/husband that you lived ages, with and for, struggling, suffering, starving fighting, bleeding in order to see him/her the happiest and most successful person in the world, you come at the end of the day, tired, weired, exhausted, hungry, sleepy with all the heartache and headache in your body, to have a peaceful rest at your little tiny room, where you find that husband/wife betraying you with another person, in your own bed! the bed that you thought will never experience anything but love, you see the sin in there! what feeling you have now? vomiting? disgusted? losing faith of every thing and every body around you? denying any beautiful feeling in the world? doubting any sort of innocence? about to explode? FEAR.. people will never progress with in their lives with fear! children will never grow normal, when they are raised full of fear! life can't be joyful when you are full of fear! your food can't be delicious and tasty, when you are full of fear! love can't be healthy when it is mixed with fear! nations can never trust and make cooperations when they are full of fear! Fear of loneliness! Fear of Sickness! Fear of loveliness! Fear of sadness! Fear of darkness! Fear of silence! Fear of tomorrow and all the vague and unknown paths taking us! God, only your mercy, can fill our hearts of love and shower our souls of peace! God enlighten our hearts, even when our eyes can't see! God, hopeless simple human beings have only you, know only you, trust only your almighty! Don't fail us, and be with your creatures, that ought to experience your love and joy, not FEAR! 13 Comments

You Better Not Read This!! Jul 3, 2006 3:22 pm 787 Views Surprised by my title? well, i honestly mean it! because I don't want you to lose your time and effort. It is nothing written to the others to read! it is not a poem, it is not an advice.. it is not an output of an experience! It is not a thought! And it may be meaningless to you! boring to your eagerness or even loneliness! It is not a blog but something situated among blogs! Why r u listening? and what r u listening for? this is the complete silence! it is when the trees stop moving their branches! it is when your fan can no more move the air in ur empty lung! it is when the voice loses its voice! it is silence.. it is calmness... it is wildness... it is a moment for myself! since the time of EVE and ADAM, I haven't been with myself.. For ages, I did not meet myself! today, I have the opportunity, and I wont lose it, because that was the most awaited moment! I will whisper to myself because i don't want anything to break this silence.. I don't want anything to move the sand of this desert!! it is meant to be desert! and thirst, meant to be the master of the status! here... exactly here.. and now.. precisely now... I am going to block your veins! heart attack? so what? your heart has been attacked right from the time of wise ancients! and u never learn! here...exactly here..i will cut your arms leave your blood go like a stream to fulfil the thirst of my life desert! isn't that much helpful and useful than running into ur veins, just to say u r still alive, and count as one?!! now... precisely now.. will pull your tongue from its roots! cruel? what cruelity am I committing with comparison to your flowery wards that you filled the space with, missleading all the angels? It is true that you don't lie... But you talk you talk honestly.. in the wrong places with the wrong ones.. and this is a guilt! here.. and now... will do the majer events!! will cut this heart into pieses dry it in the hot sun... then burn it with all the silent dry wood... and throw its ashes with the crazy wend! afraid to die? you are dead before you even was born! so why you kept the struggle? where did you go with your dignity?? real men, like palm trees, they die standing!! real men fight the occean and conquer its threaten to rescue the targets of their hearts! real men heal, they don't hurt!! real men wipes the cloud to make their sweethearts faces shine nicer than the face of the moon! real men, may not forget but do forgive! real men are the caves of love and peace, that their sweetheart scroll to when all the other doors closed! real men can't be described, because they are higher than words, and beyond the meanings! so!! anything to say??? I assume not!! add your silence to the silence of the situation!! keep bleeding and until you dry! keep weeping until you wash your soul if it is washable! and... learn your lesson![/SIZE] 2 Comments

Does It Mean Anything? May 6, 2006 4:50 am 721 Views A press of a botton, electric current is cut off! every thin is dark! somehow, we feel it, because it affects our pure feelings, So we feel darkness within our inside! The electric current is on!! we smile! our hearts start dancing, like dancing in the rain, in the middle of the thirsty desert, when no one around you, nothing around except your feelings, your thoughts, your dreams, and the thirsty bushes struggling to survive! That makes you wonder, which is harder, the desert of nature or the desert of your life?! And you keep asking yourself so many questions, without an answer! or even without waiting for an answer! Simply, because the answer is within you, coming out of your fears, fears of loneliness, fears, of emptiness, fears of sickness, fears of a language that you don't understand, and vocabularies that you can't comprehend! fears of the echo of your voice in the middle of the desert if you are only sorrounded by wildness and those who can't or just don't want to understand! Calmness! Irritation of ugly sounds! that misshapen the beautiful nature sounds around you! thinking..of your lost energy as a human being just to defend yourself against civilized wild creatures that look like human beings! You look at them! They talk, eat, urinate, make sex, they spread their dirts all over the place, as if they were the last to be here! Calmness inside you.. not founding proper words to describ it? not making the effort needed to be understood when you are sorrounded by creatures who have no shape alike to what you expecting in that special moments? Neglecting the reality which you hate to confess that it exists? Suddenly you wake up!! and you try to communicate through the fine lines that may take you to another corner on this globe! you are searching without an end of your search, because that out put of your search means your entire existence for you! how i wish, the current can be somehow more friendly! How i wish these wires would sympathy with my loneliness to keep me connected to the lost soul that I've been searching for, since the very start of manhood! How i wish, I would be given the chance to be back to that velvet pure nature which shower my soul with lots of mercy and overload my body with all good sort of energy and powers i need to find myself! How I wish, how I wish, and how I wish, you were here, if not to rebuild, to reform the entire falling wall, together with me! Sulei 0 Comments

Doubting....the ugly attitude and feeling! May 4, 2006 2:00 am 759 Views When we fall in real love, means we are going thru an unconditional process!! When we fall in love, means, the great WARRIORS, put aside there weapons, to feel the opposite!! When we fall in love, we love every thing around, and see every thing on earth is beautiful! When we fall in love, we forget or neglect, or even delete from our dictioneries the word HATERIATE! When we fall in love, we may doubt every thing and every body, at certain circumstances, except the ones we are falling for!! Love and Doubt, never go together! You either love, or doubt! How can you doubt someone who's heart beats just for you? How can you dare doubt someone who furnished her eyelashes to sit you?? How can you doubt someone who has no reason to live, if not for you? How can you doubt someone who sees Her yesterday, today and tomorrow only with you and for you?? How can you doubt someone who spends nights and nights praying to God, for your sake, your prosperity, your healthy mind, soul and body, whilest you are just snoring in the middle of the night, and when you wake up, you doubt her being with this or that?!! If you have a bit of faith in God, go to him, consult him, listen to him!!! you will praise him for the rest of your life, that he gave you such a loving person!! Nothing destroy love as much as doubt!! Nothing will destroy your heart and soul, except doubt! If I were you, I would shower my mind, soul, heart and spirit, before showring my body, to clean myself from doubts! If i were you, I would go and kiss all the foreheads of lonely sad kids on the world, to make them feel loved! If I were you, I would plant all the earth with loving hearts to fruit a global love, until hateriate and doubts vanish for ever! If I were you, I will have the courage to come back and appologize to my sweetheart, the gift of God on earth, and promise her she wont tear again! It is pitty that we don't value those we love, until we lose them forever! Once upon a time, I wrote about the best example of true love! I hope I wasn't wrong at that time! 4 Comments

 Sulei

50 M