“I'm ready this time I know that I'm no longer undecided Don't wanna be A fool wondering what might have been” … Lou Pardini
Do you have those what-might-have-beens? What-could-have-beens? I do but I try to do it or accomplish those so when I reach my golden years, I could only look back without regret and I would be able to say that I've lived a full life… and of course, that I should always look back with fondness, with a secret smile, sometimes with an unbelieving laugh about those things/experiences I’ve gone through just so I won’t have that what-might-have-been…
I hate talking to people or hearing them say that they have regrets over this and that, and when I hear what those regrets are, it is sometimes plain and simple things that they could’ve made time or found the time to accomplish it. I cannot understand why they were not able to do those things. Is it fear? Cowardice? Taking things for granted? What will happen now when they grow old? What do they tell their grandchildren, like how they went through life having some regrets, that there’s something they would want to go back to repair/mend… tsk… tsk… tsk…
I learned a long time ago that opportunities come only once in our life… I found myself at a very young age having regrets on certain things… may it be something that involves school work or activities or a new experience that I was too coward to try out, its always a negative thought first rather than thinking it’s a new thing or an exciting one to try out.
After college, I was able to travel to the US, then that opened my mind/eyes that there’s a great big world out there just waiting to be discovered by me… and years later, I found myself in a rut at work… not really going anywhere and no more professional growth. Then I discovered that there are things we have to try out to keep our sanity intact and to feel that we are growing as a person… emotionally, psychologically, mentally etc. etc. (I'm pretty sure about the physically part, I'm telling you, I have really grown hehehe). There’s a lot of soul searching also as to what I want to see or do more… some of my plans pale in comparison to some people’s big dreams but I am just a simple person, trying to live a simple yet fulfilled life. My dreams involve traveling, meeting new people, and of course being with THE ONE and I don’t mean the Lord here yet *wink* There’s a lot more to do/see/accomplish/discover, I’ll just keep you posted
Now here comes the love part… yes, I've gone through some… there were good ones and there were not-so-good ones… I wouldn’t use the word bad here coz it sounds too negative. After all, I came through it, burned/scratched/scathed/shattered into a million pieces, BUT I’m still standing and able to move on… no regrets, no regrets… its always a fun ride when it comes to love (a rollercoaster ride to the max!) Good thing rollercoasters don’t get flat tires, you get what I mean? Move on, move forward… only looking back to remember the lessons… I have to be honest though, I do have a few what-could-have-been guys, well there are things that are beyond our control… I wonder if they’re having regrets now? Hahahaha! Wooohhoooo!
And after going through the what-might-have-beens? My next line would be – been there, done that! And its always a good feeling to be able to say that line. And another line, charge it to experience… these are the lines that I truly say out loud with pride because after all those sane and not so sane experiences, I am still here trying to figure out what’s next on my agenda…hehehe
Extreme sports, well maybe… exotic food, probably… singing? Nah, I’m better at dancing hahaha! I'm looking into learning something new, wish me luck! And of course more energy, my new work zaps me tired every time huhuhu! Searching for the time now… just let it also be in His time, that’s the best time for sure…
“I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been”…
The silence between us… comfortable… safe… Walking side by side, then hand in hand… Looking out the horizon, but stealing glances at each other. Small smiles… shy smiles… Stopping altogether, then facing one another.
Reaching for her wayward curls, tucking it behind her ear, Slowly brushing a part of her cheek… trailing a line down to her chin Looking deeply in her eyes, touching her very soul… His heart skipping a beat, when she looked up expectantly… Then tilting her head up, slowly reaching down to catch her lips
Her hand reaches up, touching his cheek while they slowly kiss… sweetly… Breaths catching… as she pulls him closer Savoring the taste… of their first kiss.
It started with a hello… Then words were exchanged. Your thoughts I heard, My views you acknowledged…
How some things so uncommon to most Would be a bridge to connect two people… Whatever you say, I hear… Whenever I talk, you understood.
There’s just one thing though… How can you say you miss me? When you go to bed with someone else? Why do you want my kisses? But then your lips touches hers? How can you want to wrap your arms around me, When it embraces someone tight most times? Is this another wrong that felt so right?
Too many questions… are you willing to answer? Too good to be true… Oh were you honest with me too? Like you said you’re just being you…
I know I have to let you go… it would not be easy And there are times I refuse to do so… But in the deep recesses of my heart and mind I know its not me that you’d go home to… Letting you go doesn’t mean that I will wait for you to come back, It means I refuse to be trapped… I simply want to be free…
As the day turns into night my thoughts turns to you… As if thinking about you during the day is not enough. Hoping… wishing… dreaming… When will I feel your arms again holding me tight? Feeling your lips pressed against mine… My hands reach out, grasping your arms, Never wanting to let you go, never wanting to part…
Then night rolls by… becoming daylight… I’d hate to open my eyes and realize It was just one of those nights again… Where our being together was only part of my slumber…
But why does it feel so real… My skin is flushed… I felt the heat… You awakened all my senses… With your lips, with your touch…
I wished the day would end soon For in the darkness of the night Everything would be right… so right… As my dreams would be being beside you tonight…
