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Bizzysback 63F
1032 posts
9/21/2014 6:54 pm
Alone and lonely? You are not alone then.


I got home from work today , the house is clean and tidy and eerily quiet. Bliss? Could be every mother's dream but things have changed. I now long for those days where it is so noisy and messy. The house never seemed to get tidy enough from toys and then from 's mess and hubby's mates. Ah if I can have that back, I will, no doubt.

Being alone at home gives me a lot of time to reminisce. Going back about 20 years ago we had a widow neighbor who often asks us to find her a boyfriend or a partner. She was probably in her 50's then. Unable to relate to her, I just dismiss her plea as a joke. Also I remember a single cousin, who is still single now., she told me to find her a bf when we moved to NZ way back. Having no clue I told her I will. I thought it will be easy. There was also our then secretary, asked me to find her a bf and I promised her I will but guess what? None found and I did not even know how.

I've seen movies where there are scene of loneliness and longings. Scenes such as shivering, quivering, crying and downright crazy from losing their love ones, being lonely and living alone. To me then. they are just one of those movie scenes that are exaggerated. Scenes that I could hardly relate to. I also met a former classmate of mine few years back, she was a widow for a while and she make it a point that everyone knows that she is looking for a partner. I thought then that, that was desperate of her.

Fast forward to present time, I am now that widow neighbor of ours, the former classmate and the scene in that movie. Now I understand how lonely it is to be living alone. I wonder if people who can't relate understands that's why I hide my feelings, my desire , my loneliness in front of these people. I also wonder if my cousin is now in a better state because she does not miss anyone but as they say it is better to have love and lost than never to have love at all, right?

The difference now are these online dating sites that give us hope to find a match. They can also offer temporary relief form our loneliness and give us company online so we don't feel alone. We are in company of those in similar situation, those who can relate to us and not judge us.

I wonder too about the difference in the experience of a man and a woman. Those who live in the west and those from the east? Those who are much younger and those with or without . There is obviously a lot of factors that affect our experience but I believe there is one thing that most of us will agree: it is not a nice feeling. I don't think the feeling will go away if we stay alone but we may learn to live with it.

We may have different reasons why we are on this site but I believe majority of us are longing for company. This is like the lonely hearts club. A few I believe are here for other reasons maybe to scam, prey, spy, kill time, to satisfy curiosity or maybe to live a fantasy.

I wonder a lot. Don't you?


“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/21/2014 8:31 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.I'm inspired to know you found a diamond in the rough here. I am now curious and keen to know more. Yes that's the right thing to say if God wills it for me.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/21/2014 8:33 pm

    Quoting  :

Yes I believe you are far lucky and blessed for having them.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/21/2014 8:36 pm

    Quoting  :

Thank you for the comment. This is what I mean at least in here we are not alone. We are still lucky for having the internet imagine what it was like for our parents or grandmas or those who where alone before the internet.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/21/2014 8:41 pm

    Quoting freddiepearl:
    bizzy, allow me to share some thing a dear friend of many years said to me.

    she said THERE ARE MANY THINGS WORSE THAN BEING LONLY.
    took me a while to understand. having been single for 18 years now.

    we talked about her comment. she went thru a bad div. her ex hubby wasa doctor,rich great medical practice, but he was not a good hubby. so her commet was that was hell compared to being lonly. even now she is still single an lives a lone. her son is grown. she enjoys her life. reading working in yard. shopping at antique shops.

    some where in my life i hear some thing that ties in to this.

    being lonly is a state of mind. maybe fostered by depression or a mind set that we all need some one to be happy.

    i recall times i have felt all alone an so sad, but i was around friends an family. ithem realized u can be alone yet not lonly.

    ithink too many of us have a preset im pression of what happiness should be. we tend to compare an think "why dont i have that, or why dont i have a date tonite or why dont etc". we set our selves up to expect our lives to be like others. thats a dangerous thing. NEVER COMPARE UR SELF TO ANY ONE OR HAVE EXPECTATIONS OF BEING LIKE ANY ONE.

    i f we live each day with in its self we will be fine. its when we think of tommorrow or yesterday is when we begin to create a setting for false expectations or the thought process that becomes loneliness.
    if we trust in O UR LORD AN SAVIOR , we will be ok. its when we try to tweak HIS world is when we create issues.


Thanks Fred.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


zb1020 66F
102 posts
9/22/2014 4:35 am

nasabi mo na lahat kaya la na masabi ang lola...

anyway, tomorrow is another day.. tight hugs dai!


sunshiny_f 70F
1221 posts
9/22/2014 6:42 am

we create our own happiness...


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/22/2014 2:56 pm

    Quoting zb1020:
    nasabi mo na lahat kaya la na masabi ang lola...

    anyway, tomorrow is another day.. tight hugs dai!
yes dai, we'll see what happens tomorrow. Big hug.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/22/2014 3:00 pm

    Quoting  :

wow , now I'm in dreamland , dreaming about when we find each other. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and experience. Hope to hear more about you and him, wishing you all the best.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/22/2014 11:34 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks again for your wisdom ta Jane. I am still learning.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/24/2014 8:56 pm

    Quoting  :

Sherlock , good to see you back. I know it's a long read, that's what you get from an emotional woman at least you don't have to hear it. LOL

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/27/2014 9:14 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks for the visit and the comment Iris. Yes sad but true but I guess alone or not we come into such a phase in our life. What is important is that we overcome that phase.

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”


Bizzysback 63F
990 posts
9/28/2014 4:21 pm

Yes loneliness or depression is tiring and people around you who are lonely can pull you down too. Who were those 2 fine ladies?

“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”